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Epic fail on at least two levels. 1. Define 'best' - best chops, best playing for the song, best songwriting...? Get promptly mired in controversy. 2. Last time I checked, people don't play bass with their genitals, therefore 'female bassist' is as relevant as 'gay bassist' or 'black bassist.'

I found a couple of photos recently which I thought I’d share, I don’t know if they might be of interest to any of you. It’s my dad, Martyn Gibson, who played bass in the early sixties, before marriage and fatherhood took over. Dad played in a band in Stafford from 1963 to 1965, initially they were called The Countdowns, later The Sneakers, and they played originals and covers, a bit of RnB (Ray Charles etc). They played all around the Midlands. They supported Johnny Kidd and The Pirates, and often played with a band from Leicester who went one to become some of Showaddywaddy. My dad’s first bass was (possibly) a Hagstrom PB-24-G; from my research they were also branded Kent and Selmer but he can’t remember and the headstock isn’t visible in order to identify it properly, but as The Beatles became popular he splashed out on a Hofner 500/1. The shop in Stafford (H.E.Parkes & Sons of St Marys Gate, Stafford) ordered it direct from Hofner in Germany with a hard case for forty pounds (or guineas, he can’t remember). How I wish he’d kept it! He had a Vox amp (didn’t everyone then?) but he can’t remember exactly which model.

[walks into shop] Can I buy your Maruzoo... Marushu... Maruzaku... Mooroozoo... Ah b0llocks, I'll have that Fodera. No wonder I'm skint.

Pleased to say Iris came home after 6 weeks in hospital and 5 operations (the first of which at 2 days old was a gruelling 9 1/2 hours). She’s doing great and it’s lovely to have her home.

I believe Scott's brother, Barry Devine, has a Youtube channel which is aimed at builders. In an hour-long special, he covers "Why do a lot of builders use a Ford Transit" with an interesting 12 minute monologue by a roofer who presents an alternate view and owns a Renault Trafic. Also he has a 15-part mini-series on the premium channel, on different types of sand.

The best one I ever saw was at an Iron Maiden gig. They were being supported by a then (and probably still) little known band called Funeral for a Friend (catchy huh). They were a bunch of fresh faced young lads about 18 or 19 playing to an arena full of Maiden fans who just wanted to see the main act, and they were being heckled mercilessly and having things thrown at them by a couple of hundred hard core Maiden fans right at the front of the stage. Three or four songs in and they were going down like a turd sandwich at a buffet. At which point the singer who was about as old as my favourite socks, walked to the front of the stage, stared straight at the offending crowd, lifted the mic, and in a level voice said "F#ck you! I'm 19 years old and I'm up here supporting Iron Maiden, and any one of you f#ckers would give your right arm to be where I am now", at which point an almighty cheer erupted across the whole arena, the band started playing the next song and all the offending Maiden fans started moshing along. The rest of their set was absolutely brilliant! I've never before or since seen anyone turn a crowd like that. Absolutely legendary!

BOOM! Got the job!!!! Band is called Fraudio btw. Absolutely stoked and in need of a beer or two. Now begins the hard work!

Hi everyone, I'm posting this story because it reinforces what a close-nit community that we musicians, and in particular, bass players are. Some of you might have noticed recently I advertised on basschat a lovely Paul Everson Caiman bass for sale. I acquired the bass through a trade about a year ago with a guy who advertised it on Facebook. We met in a service station. I swapped a very nice 4 string Shuker bass for the Everson, had a nice chat with the fella who bought it and returned home. Whilst we were talking the lad confessed to me that he had found the Everson Bass in one of those second hand chain stores that have 'cash' in the title. He knew next to nothing about basses but had liked the look of it and bought it. He then tracked down Paul Everson on Facebook to get some info about the bass. I loved the bass. It appeared to have been treated quite badly. The electrics were shot and it was covered in a weird thick dust. I had it cleaned, sorted and set up and quickly picked up another Everson that appeared on Facebook. That was around a year ago. I recently decided to sell the caiman. Id always had a little niggle in the back of my head about 'Cash _________' and wondered if I'd been a little naieve in my trust. So to put my mind at ease I contacted Paul (Everson) who told me he had sold the bass through the great British bass lounge. I then contacted Drew who was running the lounge and asked them both if any Everson basses had been reported stolen. They both did some digging and came back with a resounding no. Drew had a record of a sale to a lad called 'Justin' who lived near Bradford (I'm in Macclesfield). So back to present day. After advertising said bass on Facebook and BC I received a message from a lad called Justin who explained to me that this was his bass and that he'd had it stolen in early 2016. I immediately phoned him and we discussed at length what to do. Now the dilemma. Justin hadn't been insured and had lost the bass along with a whole heap of equipment. He had been scouring the Facebook sites to try and recover the bass for the last 2 years. I had essentially swapped a 900 quid Shuker with it. The lad who had bought the bass oringally had moved the Shuker on. We were all victims of crime and it was a difficult puzzle to unravel. Justin had contacted Yorkshire police for advice and they had said it was a civil matter. Anyway the final result is that we met the following week and Justin got his bass back. It was a great end to a saga and needless to say Justin was chuffed! Just a big shout out to Paul Everson and Drew for caring enough about this story to help me with my clumsy detective work and a big shout out to Matthew who contacted me on behalf of (current) BBL. The photo below is of Justin (on the left) recieving his beloved bass back! Moral of the story. Cash ___________ are a store I like even less now and Bass players are awesome folk. Andy

Emotional. You may remember I mentioned a few weeks ago that my friend and long-standing duo partner, who has been ill for some time, was taken into care the night before we were going to play our local om together for the first time in months. He has been allowed home, at least for now, and emailed me late this afternoon to say he wanted to come out and play "The Weight" tonight (one we've enjoyed playing together before) and would I join him? First time I've gigged my new Ibby 6 - a complete joy - I cut loose and used all six strings to put a bit of variation and sparkle into what can be quite a dull song, and his rhythm guitar and vocals were strong as always. Good harmonica and cajon sitting in with us too. Real synergy, strong groove. I don't think I've ever heard quite so heartfelt a roar of applause there as we got. We were mobbed afterwards by people saying how good it was. And we were - but it was mostly an expression of the love and respect that community has for him. There are many reasons why I so much value my relatively new ability to play bass, but the privilege of supporting him tonight is one I never expected. Proud and humble. The joy and healing in his face... priceless.

Acton 2007 Many years ago I decided to take on a second project while my main band were on a break for a few months. I get invited to this audition which sounds interesting. Kind of like the Doors, but they don't have anything online. I decide to chance my arm. This sorry escapade was the last time I ever did that. I show up and the band aren't there, so I set my gear up and go outside for a cigarette. I get a text saying they're running "5 minutes late." 40 minutes later the drummer and keyboard player arrive. The guitarist apparently isn't coming. Flags are starting to ascend in my mind. We get in and the keyboard player (we'll call him Bob - not his real name) asks why I've got such a crap bass and didn't have a precision. I was playing an Alembic. Bob then literally throws some sheet music in my face and says this is bassline. I had asked and confirmed that I could make up my own bass parts. Seemingly, this had been forgotten. "Can you not read?" Yes, I can, and I took about 20 seconds to read it before getting it into my head. We start playing. It's quite clear that Bob is taking every song as a keyboard solo. The bass part whilst very fast isn't what I'd play. Bob reluctantly agreed to play it again giving me some leeway noting sternly "that the songs are already written." So we start again. I play a bit looser and so does the drummer. The song sounds really fun. Then Bob stops playing and quite annoyed says that I'd "deviated too far and that I was playing like "a f@**ing talentless idiot." Hmm. That sounded a bit like an insult so I broke it down in my head. "Idiot?" Yeah, that's probably true. "F@**ing idiot?" Maybe. I don't have documentary evidence on me to refute it. Hang on, I'm not talentless... I politely ask Bob to repeat that as I assure him it'll be much more difficult to do so once I knock out his front teeth. The drummer asks Bob to calm down. I hasten to say at this point that Bob is 6 foot 2 and I'm only 5 foot 9. Still, I guess the sight of an angry Scotsman starting to clench his fists is enough. Or at least so I thought. I decided to leave really quickly before I really lost my temper. Now, I always wear earplugs. Bob wasn't so he thought he'd said something that I wouldn't hear under his breath, but sadly, slightly too loud. As I was putting my bass back in my back I hear the muttered "f@**ing w@**er" behind me. So, I very calmly stood up and lamped him. He went flying over his keyboard and into the wall. I then calmly pick up my stuff and leave (the drummer is in shock and doesn't say anything). A few months later I was contacted by Bob through Myspace (he didn't know who I was) asking if I'd join his band. As tempting as it was to agree and go in disguise, I didn't reply. Finally, there is proof that you can get a callback after literally doing anything at an audition.

I think my first audition made the band giggle. They're a covers band that will cover anything from gossip to audioslave to GnR. I had never been in a band before, and was terrified turning up to the audition. I'd played the bass for years, at home.... When I get there the bassist before me was just tearing down his 2 4x10 rig with Trace head and I immediately thought "shi what am I doing?" I place my 25 watt peavey practice combo next to it and tell the other bassist I was ready to bring the thunder - we have a laugh. I take my guitar out of its bag. Did I forget to mention I didn't actually own my own bass? It's my sister's that I stole years ago and it still has pink ribbons on the case. Anyway... I play my heart out and barely get heard over the thunderous drums. I place my tiny amp in a corner at head height to allow us to just about hear me and somehow I get the gig! We've just booked our 8th gig in July in front of 200 festival goers.

Also, while I think about it. I'd like to say a big thank you and well done to the moderators on here. It's a thankless task and there's a fine line between over moderation and allowing things to just run rampant. I think this forum has got the balance just right.

I always think that if you like your gear you are inspired to play more and have more fun doing it, so yes I think it matters from that point of view. As mentioned elsewhere, I buy gear for me and my enjoyment, not for the audience, my band, or anyone else - though everyone benefits when I feel comfortable with what I'm playing. That said, it has little to do with how much that piece of equipment cost.

I'm in the house band for the two Sunday for Sammy shows next weekend. I can't give too much away 'cos the line-up is under wraps, but with 5,000 people at each show, it's going to be fun. I'll take some pics and that, and try not to make any mistakes. Disclaimer: I fully acknowledge this is a 'boast post'. Apologies.

Yesterday morning I had the amazing chance to play the Holy Grail (for me) of bass - a 1960 Fender Jazz What an incredible bass, and a wonderful piece of history. It belonged to the the owner of my favourite music store, who sadly passed away in 2016, but his wife still owns it. All original, and he had it strung with medium gauge flatwounds, which were nicely broken in, and it played and sounded incredible. Needless to say I was pretty stoked to have the chance to play such a bass, definitely a day I’ll remember for a very long time! Here’s the beast in question (pic attached). Cheers, Ryan

Gig some years ago with a space-rock techno band, man approaches me from the crowd gurning like a bastid, huge grin on his face, brain quite obviously in a very happy place. "Oh Man.....what note are you playing right now ?" he bellows at me from a few feet away. "G" "I FECKIN' LOVE G !!!!" he screams /Dances off into the crowd/ Priceless

Are you guys actually bass players? Call Me The Breeze and every thing else by JJ Cale, has great, simple and effective bass lines that push the song along perfectly. Never Met A Girl Like You, anything by U2, Status Quo or ZZ Top and many others. . . all simple bass lines that are nothing by themselves but are exactly right in their place. If the bass line is good for the song then it's a good bass line.

Wow, what a fantastic wealth of replies! This is why I prefer bass players to guitarists (like me); you are so much nicer! Also, I love bass and am really enjoying it, so much to learn and this is where to learn. Some great responses to my original post, some entertaining, some a little close for comfort, some shot me down and some really good advice; especially as you only got my side of an incomplete picture. Thank you all so much, you were a great help. The meeting was an unexpected success, the singer held his hand up and said “I’ve been an derrière and thrown my toys out of the cot, I’m sorry”. We have started a set of band rules/expectations, the existing band diary is to be reinvigorated and handed over to me, a gig finders fee has been introduced, a deps-Black-book will be started. We all realise what we’ve got and we want to keep it. A plan of action has been created and there is a willingness to meet more regularly without instruments. We have been surprisingly mature for a bunch of musicians.

I don't often post on here but wanted to publically credit a bass manufacturer, since it's always good to hear good news. Long story short, I have a Sandberg California TMII 5 string bass, which I absolutely love which I bought 18 months ago second hand from Bass Direct. Unfortunately, a few weeks ago, it just stopped working, took it to a local guitar repairer I trust and he basically said the electrics are buggered, a circuit has gone, not a lot he could do without direct contacts in Sandberg etc. I emailed Sandberg directly (only hoping they might recommend someone I could pay to fix it etc.) But instead, I got an email from Mike, one of the service engineers, who asked me to remove the entire circuitry and send it over to Germany for immediate free repair. I did this, he sent back the newly repaired circuit (1 part on the circuit board replaced), with lots of good communication along the way and last night I put it back in. And it is now as good as new! I just wanted to commend Sandberg for their amazing customer service, all done (including free tracked postage back to the UK) for absolutely free, there was no obligation from their side, they could have just sent me back to the second hand dealer I bought it from. I wouldn't imagine you would get the same level of service from one of the other big guitar manufactures (although I've never tried)! So hats off to Sandberg....not just great quality guitars but a top notch company with amazing customer service too!

Right guys -- I bought the Moollon on E-bay thinking I was getting a cheap asian bass like Amoon , Rocktile etc. in a nice Mono gig bag ( I had never come across Moollon before ) -- Planned to keep the Mono gig bag and sell the bass cheaply! Imagine my surprise when the bass arrived and I unpacked it -- Stunning build quality and played and sounded better than most P-Basses I have ever played ( And that is a lot in my 72+ years ) I did some searching on Google and quickly found several reviews ( all Good ) and then I came across one of Scott playing his on youtube and thought that it looked familiar so looked through his other vids and found the one reporting it as stolen! I managed to contact Scott on Facebook and he rang me and I confirmed I had his Bass but wanted to ensure the Police followed up on it so I got the crime report No. from Scott and contacted the Police. I also contacted the Vender ( blueandyellow stores, which turns out to be Cash Generators ) and told them they had sold a valuable stolen Bass, They wanted me to send it back to them so they could sort it -- No Chance! The Police came and collected the Bass and I gave them all the sales information so they could investigate ( which I believe is still ongoing ) The Police officer assured me she would take the Bass straight back to Scott the rightful owner, which she did. I eventually managed to get a refund from the vendor once the police were involved and I did receive many Thanks and a very nice Reward from Scott! -- Thanks Scott. All in all a nightmare experience but hopefully the Police may get the Culprit(s) Will ( Eddie to Family and Friends )

Andy is a top guy and I never expected to see the bass again after 2 years - to say it made my week would be an understatement! My lesson learned is always unload the car post practice and gig regardless of whether you're knackered and it's chucking it down and get insured..... the other guitar, an ACG, was returned in similar circumstances a year ago by a great guy in Hebden Bridge As Andy says bass players are a fantastic community of like minded souls - my faith in human nature is reaffirmed! Cheers Justin

Wind back five years and you’ll hopefully understand why this bass is as special to me as it is.... In Feb 2013 I was diagnosed with a massive tumour on my right kidney. It was at Stage 3 due to the size (an unbelievable 9.5kgs!) and I was told by the surgeon that it they didn’t operate soon it would kill me one way or another. On Thursday last week, I was given the good news that I had no signs of recurrence and that they were leaving it to me whether I wanted to continue under observation; in short they were happy for me to be discharged. To get to the 5 year milestone was something I wasn’t sure I’d ever get to, so to say I’m relieved is an understatement! After a few tears (something in my eye) my wife told me to treat myself and knew I’d been hankering after one of these: who was I to refuse! After an early morning start I picked this up from Bass Direct on Saturday. The guys kindly restrung it with TI Flats and it really is the best Fretless I have owned. It is more special to me than words can adequately convey. Here it is:

I'm knocked out that my band (Lutz) have had our album listed on a couple of these top ten releases of 2018 things; I'm assuming this came out of the New Music Saturday podcast and a few people have just picked up on it. At the very least, it affords me a little smile after what has been a fairly traumatic year in which I lost my father-in-law, my mother and my job. [Edit: I also emerged from the wreckage of losing my band, the band I formed eight years ago, to a bunch of fairly unpleasant interlopers.] 2019 has got to be better, eh?

I've just completed another bass part ex / sale with Martin from Wales - we had lots of communication both ways throughout the process and have been exchanging a few texts since about the basses we swapped. And it got me thinking as I was writing his feedback and looking at the three pages of feedback I've got....basically (bar one specific example - exception that proves the rule?!) I've had nothing but overwhelmingly positive experiences ( a LOT of them!) with people I've never met. Often involving quite a lot of money / expensive instruments and therefore trust of this unknown person. It's a great community of people who really do give bass players an excellent name. I'm sure other forums for different instruments may be the same (I'm not on any so can't really comment) but this really is a lovely group of people on here and I"m chuffed to call myself a bass player knowing that there's a lot of lovely people out there who also call themselves bassplayers! All good!

Hey gang! I've finally joined the pre-CBS club. Never thought it would happen... Not original: refin, replaced jack, and a couple of wires. The rest is as-is. Weighs 9lbs-ish, it's resonant and has that midrange. Gigged it last night, and it's lovely.

Ted Nugent seems to be generally quoted with the famous quote of "if it's too loud, you're too old". However, following a recent conversation with a pub landlord and customer it seems then the modern day version in smaller gig locations should be "if it's too loud, you really are too loud". . . Some background - we played a gig at a new venue for us that's had regular live music for a long time. After sound check the landlady came over and told us we sounded really good and were the best band they'd had in for a long time. Obviously we're all smiling and happy but a bit confused as all we'd played was a few sections of three songs to set the sound up for each instrument. I asked her what it was she liked - she replied without hesitation that we weren't stupidly loud and she could hear herself think when we were playing and also her customers when they ordered. We got a decent crowd and seemed to go down well and spoke to her about possible future gigs. She said she really liked us but that she was almost certainly going to stop having live bands completely. Her reasons were really interesting: Too many of them are too loud - deafening the staff and punters and increasingly annoying neighbours Poor quality sound - guitars drowning out the vocals, bass making things shake around the room and everything sounding a bit disconnected One of her regulars joined the conversation and backed her up. He obviously knew a bit about live sound and he reiterated that bands were getting louder and louder (he mentioned they seemed to be able to do this even with small combos - which is true of course with so much modern gear). The thing that annoyed him the most was the imbalance of sound, only vocals in the PA, PA sounding 'thin' and lacking clarity and the dreaded guitarist and bassist continually turning up to drown each other out whilst the drummer thrashed away regardless. Neither of them thought the musicianship was poor - although they said they often couldn't tell because of poor vocal quality. They both also said that vocals were the single most important thing for most everyday pub gig goers and they couldn't understand why bands seemed to pay so little attention. Soon after we played another gig where the landlord said something along the same lines. He felt he was losing customers because his local bands were simply too loud week after week. He was always telling them to turn down but they always said they had to be that loud because they couldn't hear what they were playing. He said he was not booking any more bands this year This morning I saw a thread (not here) where someone was saying he was in a new band playing weddings and corporate functions but probably wouldn't be in the front of house mix. Another player then said he needed a really powerful amp that went really loud. I see this 'it's great, goes really loud' quote all the time from people playing small gigs and also so many players saying that the PA is just for vocals. I can understand that 'volume' is all part of the dynamics of playing live but surely it should be 'controlled' rather than the mayhem unleashed by so many pub bands? It amazes me that people still think, in an age where quality PA is easily available for not too much money, that being insanely loud is something to aspire to and that they don't seem to really care about setting a band up for the audience rather than themselves. Putting everything into the FoH mix allows you to balance the sound across all instruments so that the audience can hear everything clearly - especially those all important lead vocals. It also allows everyone on stage to pull back on volume so they aren't deafening each other and can hear what everyone else is playing (adding stage monitors or in-ears is a bonus but I realise that's often too much additional expense or is taking up too much floor space). The lead guitarist in my band sets his Mesa Boogie combo to 5w and never needs any more volume. So, apologies for the long post but it genuinely worries me that more & more gigs will disappear if bands don't get their sound in order. . .

Just found out that my recent build for @Len_derby (covered to sleep-inducing detail in the Build Diaries) has been awarded 'Bass Of The Week' in the excellent (not that I'm biased) US-based e-zine 'No Treble' I'm well chuffed - it's my fourth BOTW with them Here's the link: https://www.notreble.com/buzz/2018/08/06/bass-of-the-week-ajr-guitarmods-swift-lite-lightweight-bass/ I'm just off for a cold shower to deal with my nauseating smugness Andy

I was playing keyboard in a pop-reggae band a few years back (well, we thought we were reggae but really we were a rock band with a passing offbeat acquaintance) and one of the doormen round town booked us to play at his nephew's christening. He wasn't offering much but he was a nice lad and we already owed him a few favours for 'well-timed assistance' around town, so we hop in the van and troll down to Brum for a play. We rock up outside this old community hall about 6PM to meet Mustafa, and after a minute he comes out dressed in this incredible full-length black and red leather robe, which makes him look like something out of Star Wars. That was Red Flag No 1. Red Flag No 2 was the polyrhythmic music playing at punishing volume inside the hall. We go inside only to find ourselves walking into the middle of a traditional Ghanian christening ceremony (or whatever the equivalent is) and that was the point where we instantly realise we are not going to go down well. We're sat down over at the back of the room with the other men and given a plate of rice that nearly takes my head off (our singer causes a minor scandal by sitting with us instead of the women, but I think we got tagged with the 'musician' exemption) and Staf introduces us to approximately 350 members of his extended family, who are all absolutely lovely and just as totally baffled as to why we're there. The ladies are all sat in circle of chairs in the middle of the room with the kid in the middle, the men are sat around the edges, and the actual ceremony is being conducted by two MCs, one man and one woman, who will quickly become MC Tall and MC Short respectively. They're taking it in turns to shout through a PA turned up so loud it's become a fuzzbox; there is a second PA playing music at a volume where my eyeballs are vibrating; I do not recognise a single tune all evening. Every few minutes MC Tall or Short will double up on the shouting tempo and the women all get up and pull huge wads of dollars out of their pocket, which they then throw at the kid. The ladies are all stunning with incredibly elaborate hairstyles and the men are wearing the same leather robes as Staf - this is clearly a big occasion and everyone is putting on their best 'look how much money we have' display, which explains the throwing of the dollars. We are under-dressed, hungover, and trying to make awkward chit-chat at the top of our voices. Eventually the ceremony is over and we set up on the community hall stage, planning to make this the shortest set of our lives. We have a quick argument about what to play, which ends with us scrapping everything from our set that isn't the reggae material. Our singer is already nervous after the men's section faux pas and we've not been able to understand a single word of the ceremony so far so we have NO IDEA what is happening. We're gamely vamping away at our best imitation of an authentic roots band but are keenly aware that our material is aimed at a spot several thousand miles and a different hemisphere away from what the crowd is expecting, and it's just dropping into the abyss of stares. The crowd is polite but clearly expecting something which is not happening. Second song in and we're contemplating dropping the rest of the set and legging it. Singer is visibly wilting under the stares of an entire flock of matriachs perched to stage right; I'm getting extremely interested in the top of the keyboard, which I have never examined so closely before. My nose is scraping the flat keys at points. Suddenly MC Short is on stage with us and grabbing the mic off the singer. What fresh hell is this??? We're expecting to be cut off unceremoniously, but instead she starts shouting at the crowd with a variation on her earlier theme. This lady is about 60 and barely four feet tall, but she can shout for God and with the backup of the PA she is reaching pitches that are melting my fillings. Every dog in a twenty mile radius is starting to howl. At her instigation, the entire front row of (stunning) women gets up as a unit to start throwing dollars at us - I'm beginning to have some very complicated feelings indeed. After she feels the crowd are sufficiently harangued we get the mic back and play another few songs which are met with respectful applause if not much actual interest, so we take the hint and finish up. We've picked up about 600 dollars in ones and have to carry them in a basket along with our gear. As soon as we finish the party is back on and everyone is off their chairs and dancing; hundreds of kids have appeared out of nowhere to do the old church hall skidding dance which apparently transcends culture! Huge baskets of homemade fried fish and curried rices have started appearing round the edges of the hall and we eat as much as we can physically carry back to the table. It's all delicious but so hot my hair starts curling and I spontaneously develop sunburn, which the kids all find hilarious. Staf is crazily happy that we played as he seems to think we are megastars rather than the chancers we are, and we're just happy to have been asked to do it so we decline our fee and take petrol money instead, reasoning that the story will likely pay for itself in beer over the years. We donate the dollars to the kiddo as a gift because we're all fairly drunk on Star Beer at this point and getting them changed seems like hassle. Some of the stunning girls from earlier are starting to give us the eye but my daddy taught me never to hit on a girl when A) you're at someone else's family occasion and B) her daddy is roughly the size of a car, in the room, and giving you the death glare, so prudence becomes the better part of valour and we make a swift exit. In reality it wasn't actually that desperate considering we were playing to an audience who had absolutely no interest in what we were doing, but it was hell of a night at the time. Don't think I've ever felt so out of place before or since. The food sure beat the hell out of my family dos though! I'd do it all again just for another crack at that buffet, even if my fragile little English stomach meant I spent three hours glued to the toilet next morning...

If you're going to patronise people (that means "talk down to" for all you thickies out there ) then at least learn to spell pigeon.

Years ago, I was doing this regular Sunday lunchtime residency thing at a pub in Hackney. Let me cover the specifics; we're set up in the corner of the pub (The Cat and Mutton), three piece band, I'm sitting on a barstool, playing root notes doing covers (shudder), a 90 minute set in exchange for money, beer and a free lunch. One Sunday, there was some jostling at the bar over chicken wings and a fight breaks out. Now when I say fight, I mean a fight. It seemed the pub was full of two factions, both of whom were just itching to get it on and I'd say the place literally erupted and 90% of the clientele were punching the crap out of each other. Furniture is flying, people are on the floor hitting each other, glasses flying. It was like a brawl out of a cowboy film. Anyhow, let's get back on point. We're still playing. I'm laughing at the incredulity of what is going on, when I stand up and push my stool back closer to my amp to give the fight more room to breathe and from a selfish perspective, to offer protection for my gear. At this point, a bloke comes over to me and shouts, 'Excuse me mate, are you using that stool?' I just do this shrug and nod thing, he picks the stool up, runs into the melee and breaks it over someone. So there you are. The most ridiculous thing I've been asked is whether I was still using a stool.

I have just complete a tremendous experience, ordered a bass for my 50th and it arrived early thanks to Alan. From start to finish Alan has been great. The bass on the other hand is fantastic. Full specs here: https://www.acguitars.co.uk/project/0328urecurve5/

A singer friend of mine and myself were starting a new project, writing songs together. We would meet at mine to write and record a bit of guitar and bass. I was playing guitar but I wanted to stick to bass, so we auditioned guitarists. This guy comes in, and within seconds we realise he can't even play. He was having trouble shaping chords with is fingers... and you could see he was feeling very nervous and embarrased. Singer is giving me this look like "we're done here"... but I felt sorry for him, so I took one of my guitars and showed him something simple to play, and I played another guitar and singer sang a bit... then moved to bass... and over all I taught him 3-4 little things and we played for another 30 minutes or so. Then he left, apologising for his lack of preparation and he laughed at how silly he was for thinking he could do it. Then he says he had only been learning guitar for 2 weeks... I emailed him a couple of days later to see how he was. We laughed. He was a cool guy, he just jumps into things with lots of enthusiasm and not enough preparation sometimes We became friends, I encouraged him and eventually he went on to form his own band. I played a couple of gigs with him as a dep, recorded a bit, I went to his wedding... so yeah, cool audition ha! stinky poo guitarist at the time, but I ended up with one of the coolest friends I've got.

I saw the headline in my suggested content, saw that it was a Daily Mail article, ignored it. Hateful publication.

It is all a ruse. You don't need books, CDs, hifi system, magazines, videos, DVDs or TV...all you need is your laptop and a subscription to lots of things at only £9.99 per month each. Oh, and cloud storage for all your backups at £9.99 a month for when your laptop breaks. "Why am I so poor?" the junior office worker mused, listening to Spotify though bluetooth headphones on his iPhone X while clicking away at his laptop. His £4.20 large coffee with cream from Starbucks cooled next to him.

Some of you might find this useful/interesting..... When i opened up my future impact pedal out of curiosity to see what was inside, i was shocked to find mostly (continental brand) fresh air! Here you can see that the lower half of the pedal is almost exactly, approximately an MXR BEF worth of space!! So i formulated a plan to Design and 3D print an enclosure, into which i can re-house the innards of the Future impact, to make a much more pedalboard friendly footprint. I began by removing the knobs from the outside and the circuit boards from the inside of the case I then laser scanned the inside of the case to generate an STL that can be used to replicate the Mounting features/holes in the new design. I copied all of the internal/external features from the STL, but moved the foot switches as close to the circuit board as i could on the inside. I didn't put in any small holes for the screws, as i thought these would be better aligned using the actual circuit boards as a template. I printed the 1st Prototype ove night last night and assembled it this morning. Everything went together great and still functioned perfectly. I was able to reduce the length of the enclosure from 155mm to 101mm, and i think there's room for further improvement on that. The finished prototype unit. And here it is re-installed on the board. I plan to tweak the design and print another next week if i get a chance. Some of the changes will include reducing the length of the housing even further, moving the on/off switch more central to get it away from the encoder, adding a feature to recess display protector of some kind, branding/lettering. I'm open to suggestions for additional improvements. For now, its printed in PLA, but once the design is finalises, ill be printing it it Black Nylon which will stand up to pedalboard life a bit better. Once the design is complete, im happy to share the STL so you can print it yourselves, or £ven print a few and ship them out to those interested. *Any FI owners that's capable of cool graphic designs can have one for free if they develop the artwork (2 colors)

recorded at Homefire studios Harrogate. Please feel free to comment weather you like it or not,all feedback is very welcome, I love my bass tone on here,it really kicks derrière & DI'd straight to the desk from my Darkglass AOU If you live in the Harrogate are you can check us out at Bilton Working mens club this evening cheers

I frequently remove my fretting hand from the neck in order to point at random strangers in the audience and wave to them, thus conveying to my band-mates the (false) impression that those at whom I am pointing are my own personal fan-base and have come to see me perform. I have pulled this flanker on many, many occasions and can recommend it as an effective tactic for establishing psychological dominance over otherwise unbiddable guitards and front-persons.

I have recently been given an artist endorsement deal. I'm actually chuffed to bits about this, even though I'm 50 years old and have been gigging for over 30 years. It's made me all excited!!

For the third year our jazz quartet played an early New Year's Eve gig yesterday (Dec 28) at a nursing home where about 75 residents/patients gathered with some family members and staff for a party to celebrate NYE. We play in a lovely big room with great acoustics and decorated with balloons and lots of other appropriate things including hats and noisemakers. We did two sets and then had the big countdown at 3:00PM(!) and the balloons came down from the ceiling nets and we launched into Auld Lang Syne as the residents toasted and cheered in the new year. It is a fun but also sad gig as many of the residents struggle with various afflictions brought on by old age or disease but the music always seems to get through to them and some dance or clap along and some sing along with us. Even most of the people with mental difficulties (dementia and others) respond to the music and at the end of the show seem to be a bit more "alive" , if I may use that term. I guess for many musicians this would be a very odd gig but we have come to look forward to it and work hard to make it a good time for everyone, including the band. A sad fact is that when we go back again many of this year's audience won't be there and as we all get older we realize how precious life is and how lucky we are to have music in our lives and that we can brighten up the day for others doing what we love to do. This gig always reminds me that life just flies by, we should try to do what we can while we are able and have fun with our music and use it to cheer up others as well, and that is not always easy as life throws stuff at us.We play in many different venues but this gig always makes me want to get moving and take what I can from whatever time I have left. OK, sermon over, time to wish everyone a great year in 2019.😀

Well folks, the bass arrived safe and sound yesterday and it is amazing! Securely and very neatly packed up and as a result completely unscathed. My experience with UPS has been exemplary over the years with this kind of stuff, I'd recommend them to anyone shipping a bass, just make sure and insure it properly too, just in case Anyway, I digress. The bass! I could not be happier with what @Andyjr1515 has done for me. This bass had sat, in various cases, in various accommodation over the past 20 years, completely untouched and unloved. The dream bass of the 16 year old me, had never quite been realised, and although I managed to make something serviceable enough, it never quite hit the mark and got sidelined after a couple of years constant use. I always wished I had added a darker top wood. I always wished I hadn't made it a 36" scale. I always wished I'd not messed up the control cavity and covered it up with a massive piece of tortoise shell scratchplate material. I always wished I hadn't bought that weird Wilkinson bridge, although options were limited back in the mid 90's. I always wished it wasn't so bloody heavy! @Andyjr1515 has righted all those wrongs and I now have the bass I wanted way back when and still want now 😎 He took on what was really a bit of a pig of a job, and fixed everything in his signature creative way, with fantastic communication all the way and at record speed to meet my imposed deadline. The bass plays and sounds amazing, extra props for the neck carve, it's absolutely perfect and works wonderfully with my preferred choice of a flat fingerboard. Interestingly, the bass still sounds much like I remember, only a little fatter in the lows and with a sweeter upper register, much in part to the change in scale length from 36" to 31.5", but the same character is still there which is fantastic. Sadly, I didn't manage to record anything with the bass, as I couldn't really start noodling till my kids were in bed, making filming anything impossible The bass is now packed up and squirrelled away till the 27th, but I'll get some recordings done soon after that, people need to see and hear this bass. I keep going on and on about shorter scale ERBs being just as good as long scale ones when built properly and using a considered string choice, and this bass only helps to reinforce that argument, the low B is fantastic. So, in summary, I would not hesitate to recommend @Andyjr1515 for a mod project, or full build, he's a really great guy and certainly know what he's doing. Thank you Andy! Eude

Having reached the age when my kids should be going off on tour, somehow it is me that is venturing out for the first time! My band, Lee Ainley's Blues Storm, is heading out with Zoe Green and Eliana Cargnelutti, on a three female fronted band tour, Ladies of the Blues. A bit of a message for all of those who ask "am I too old?" "is it too late?" "should I/Shouldn't I", well the answer is go out there and do it, you never know what is around the corner. For any of you within striking distance of any of the dates, do come along, support your local venue and fellow Basschatter! Here's the dates.

How aboot this? It's an 80's Fender Performer, not many made.

Or just teach your cat to sh!t in your neighbour's flower beds, like mine. Although in truth there wasn't much tuition involved. After he'd watched me demonstrate a couple of times he'd pretty much got the hang of it.

No. Rock & Roll is dead as ärseholes. Anything new is either unlistenable or a tired retread. In fact, it's got so bad one can play 'Spot The Influences' Bingo for days on end. Metal is a self-referential Moebius loop of infinitely smaller and smaller sub-genres, each of which sounds - surprise, surprise - pretty much exactly like most of the others and is populated by hopelessly deluded, vacuous twits with tattoos and piercings who think they're 'dangerous' but pose as much threat as my Aunt Mabel's budgie. Who's dead. The budgie, that is. Though so is Aunt Mabel. She liked Glen Miller, y'know. In fact, Metal is now about as much fun as an exit wound from a Mossberg shotgun and as believable as a school Christmas play. The utter hopelessness of the protagonists shines through just as if each of them had written on their foreheads 'I'm more than a loser - I'm a gaping a$$hole of a loser who knows he's a loser but depends on other losers to keep giving him their money so he can carry on being a loser and not have to go back to his old day job as an artificial limb salesman for SW England and Wales". I'm not saying that 'Rock' was better in my day. It just was - in the sense that it existed at all - but now it doesn't exist beyond its function as a label hung off a t-shirt. Indeed, those old stagers who 'keep the rock flag flying high' (Black Star Riders, anyone?) are just as terminally pointless as - say - Greta Van Fleet who are forty years younger. If you don't believe me about old rock musicians, watch The Story Of Anvil. It's so sad, you just want to cut your wrists at the sheer desperation. Clive Dunn? Well, yes, rock in the 70's (strangely) co-existed in the pop charts with novelty songs and ballady dreck. But the singles charts were a sideline to the real action and Rock existed in its own far larger hinterland of albums and tours and TV sets going out of windows and sweet, sweet punani. Now the charts are a desert of homogeneously over-produced, knowing pop-bait for 11 year-old girls and very little of any note occurs beyond it, except among microscopically small groups of 'enthusiasts' who sit around saying 'Have you heard this? It's new and it's just like the Grateful Dead mashed up with Anthrax and Pat Metheny' and stroking their chins like a crew of smelly ol' jazzbos who've just found an unreleased Thelonius Monk session and are preparing to engage in a disgusting circle jerk of pseudo-scholarly delight. But it's not all bad: Rock isn't really 'Dead'. Rock has just been quietly shuffled into the old folks home and now sits in the day room with its friends Folk, Jazz, Ragtime and Swing, gumming away at a nice Digestive biscuit and slurping a cup of milky tea and saying' I'm still relevant, me. Oh, I've wee'd myself' while young people wander down the street outside doing something much more interesting than listening to Rock music like - I don't know - texting their idiot 'friends' or bullying their schoolmates into suicide or posting pictures of kittens. And if these kids do actually go to a gig, they and the sad, middle-aged has-beens around them don't listen, oh no, they all just film the gig through their phones and walk out afterwards and say 'Who was that we just saw?' And while Rock passes its twilight years in the Springfield Retirement Castle, the advertisers and the media and the record companies (f*ck you, Jimmy Iovine, f*ck you) have successfully cultured a clone from Rock's stinky, yellow toenail clippings and now that clone staggers around wearing a sandwich board that says 'Hi! I'm Rock! This musical experience was brought to you in association with (insert brand here)'. It would be a kindness if someone were to put a bullet into Rock & Roll. I'd do it with a song on my lips and that song would be 'Oh What A Beautiful Morning' from the musical Oklahoma (Rodgers & Hammerstein: 1955).

It’s almost as if there had been some kind of avoidable event where a third of the population had voted for something that meant the pound dropped in value...

Well it turns out it’s never too late to give up on your dreams. This is my band from the 80s with yours truly on bass!

I left a band once after a blazing row at the rehearsal rooms in the coffee machine area, stormed off back into the room, packed my kit...and then had to go back and ask for a hand getting my Ampeg 810 up the stairs and into my car. This is why lightweight cabs are the way forward...Flouncing Ability is an often-overlooked plus point...

We’ve never had a single issue in over 10 years. There will be no policy change. Thank you for playing ped

Strictly speaking this is Off Topic, but I put it here because it's a response to a thread within General Discussion. In the thread about the most musically talented musician of all time, I wrote a post that I now believe must have been way more hard hitting than I imagined when I wrote it, and Bassman7755 especially was (or seemed) its target. I have read and re-read the offending post, and now believe that it was an ugly thing to write. I therefore apologise to Bassman7755, and of course all others who may have felt they were its target, for that post's general tone and the aspects of it that put down other people. What I should've said was that the most talented person likely is not a person we tend to know. What I said instead was that people who mention McCartney have no clue about this stuff. I'm very sorry, and wish Bassman7755 and others all the best. Bert

Sorted the nut height and then put my 'see if it all fits together' set of strings on. At my action height starting point (medium) there are no buzzes at all so I think the basic levelling job was OK. When the proper strings are on, I'll set it up properly and do a double check with the fret rocker and the buzz check at low action in case there are some high spots anywhere. This is how the tru-oil slurry and buff has ended up, finishing at 1500 grit. This is an oblique shot to the light so you can see the surface finish: ...and this is tilted to see the figuring better: It's LOVELY to the touch. Still got to do the final 1500 slurry and buff on the back - and I've still got to do the final buffing of the fretboard and neck - but this is how the whole thing is panning out: All being well it should be finished by the end of the weekend