In today through the Lemonrock enquiry system:
"I hope this email finds you well. My name is **** ******, and I am the manager of a pub located in ************. As we are exploring opportunities to diversify our live events offerings, I recently stumbled upon your profile and found it intriguing.
I would be grateful if you could provide me with information regarding your pricing structure for live performances. Understanding your rates would greatly assist us in evaluating potential collaborations and aligning them with our budgetary considerations.
I look forward to hearing from you at your earliest convenience. Thank you for your time and consideration. Please contact me on blah blah blah"
First thing to note is that this is not a joke post. That's a cut & paste (anonymised, of course) from the email.
Second thing to note is that those of you who haven't had office-based careers may imagine that this is what business correspondence looks like. It doesn't. In a 45-year career dealing with business correspondence of all sorts, I can't remember ever receiving anything quite as jargon-laden and turgid as this.
Resisting the temptation to reply "We believe in peeling the onion by directionifying our key performance indicators into a transitional enhanced profitability status" @Silvia Bluejay replied seriously and honestly. In a reasonably long email about what we do and what we charge she used the phrase "cash on the night".
A reply was received within seconds, mentioning the online payment system used by this pub's owners.
Hmmmmm.
And again, hmmmmmm.
And thrice, hmmmmmmmmmmm.