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My first thought after reading the thread title was ‘defecate in the corner’. I think I need to speak my therapist 🤭

I've told this before. . . . A friend was looking for a guitar as a 50th birthday present to himself. The guy in the shop got down a US Strat and Rob, who was mightily impressed, said, "But this is only for playing in my bedroom." The shop guy said, "Mate, 90% of the guitars we sell are to people who play in their bedrooms, and the other 10% should do."

Whenever I buy a car, I test drive it by first revving it as hard & long as I can, hoping that people notice me. Once I have their attention I attempt a doughnut manoeuvre I saw on YouTube (I stall quite a lot, but I think I look cool). It never occurs to me to check if the breaks, clutch, gears, lights work, or if the cars structure is sound...or, heaven forbid, it fits any practical needs. OK, so my cars never leave my garage (but no one in the showroom knows that, they all think I'm the Stig maaaaan)

I'm part-way through a big long epic of a day today - more of the stars have arrived, so we're working though the tunes with them at various allotted time-slots. It's a huge production and logistical operation, with a massive crew - the band are just one cog in the wheel. Every song has to be rehearsed for lighting, camera positions, VT cues, walk-on choreography... if one part isn't right, we do it again! Like I say, I can't give anything away, but I've had a couple of OMG moments today... and I get to do it again - for real - tomorrow. Get in :-) Here's some arty shots I took during stolen moments...

This fella is 1st go to, somewhere between 200/300 gigs. It's seen SEI's, Sadowskys, Alembics, Ricks, Status, Am Deluxes all come & go. But obviously, as many tell us, it's a crap Mex

My favourite was a guy who bought an Epi 335 and a lead to go with it. Came back in complaining his new electric guitar didn’t work. he’d gone home and somehow wired a household plug onto the end of his newly acquired cable... he’d been plugging it into the mains. how he didn’t die I’ll never know.

Don't let your wife/girlfriend/ significant other know that you just bought another. Safeguards the bass and your nads.

Typical bass player doing it up the corner, come on why not right by the front door near the till!

Specific measurements are all well and good, but action is subjective. If you're getting buzzes and rattles then it's too low, if you can't play properly because it's too much effort to press the strings to the board then it's too high. If your bass is sounding good and is comfortable, it intonates properly and it feels right to you, then it is right.

Happy Christmas 😟

They probably assumed it was Eighties and gave you the benefit of the doubt.

If it’s bespoke stuff you want,you need to try Stagewear Unlimited. Based near Rotherham, you can get pretty much anything made to order, and the boss Neil Crossland has a mass of experience making stuff for all sorts of bands as well as theatrical costumes for televison and theatre. Tel. 01709 892893 www.stagewearunlimited.com

So long story short. My band (State of Ember) entered a competition last year as an easy way to gain more fans. The prize was top 10 bands end up on Wreckfest by THQNORDIC. We only went and finished 2nd and now we're being featured on their official trailer! Oh and they are giving us 1000 Dollars. Madness Facebook link below should work! https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=617813701889412&id=369063106512335

F*cking slap. It's so boring to hear the same thing in any shop...

I've noticed that the only time I get GAS is when I'm not playing or practicing as much as normal, or if i'm stressed with some other part of life. I'm sure this doesn't just happen to me. Usually happens if I'm tired from work overload, so my playing is either uninspired or lacking energy, and my brain tries to blame the instrument. It's difficult to feel excited when you've not had a day off work for weeks or you're short on sleep. Also happens if you keep playing the same stuff rather than learning something new. It's just boredom and lack of inspiration. I find that GAS completely goes away if I get a good night's sleep and focus on learning something new. But it took me quite a few years to work this out.

Hi guys, Just wanted to say hi and thanks so much for the kind words, I'm humbled.. I feel really lucky to have been asked to play in some great shows and don't take it for granted.. I played in 'The Book of Mormon' for 3 and 1/2 years and the MD of that show was leaving to start 'Dreamgirls' and he kindly asked if I wanted to move across with him.. I'm glad I did as it's turning out to be a really fun show, and a great play for a bass player.. It hasn't been done for 35 years but still sounds fresh in my opinion.. In Amber Riley's defence, we appeared on the Graham Norton show before the musical had even opened.. We had just met her and read the chart down that morning.. She had zero experience singing with a band at that point and was extremely nervous I think.. She's quickly settled into the show and sounds amazing I have to say, and with that confidence comes a bit of light and shade in her performance.. I think if you saw her live now you'd be really impressed, she brings the house down every night! Regarding gear, I exclusively use Overwater basses now. I have two Jazz 5's and a hybrid Jazz 5 fretless.. They're all wonderful and I highly recommend them, Chris May and the guys at Overwater have been honing their art for many years now and the results are there to see.. A lot of West End players use them as they're reliable, extremely playable and free of hum/buzz/interference which is important in theatres.. I'm particularly impressed with the John East Uni-Pre at the moment and that's in the black bass in the clip above.. Check their basses out at http://overwaterbasses.com (and no I don't get a tenner for saying that!). Well thanks again, all the best....

Hi Guys, sorry its been a while, been mad bizzy and loads of other equally naff excuses. I have Booked The same place as last time The whitby Club in ellesmere port... http://www.whitbyclub.com/ For Sunday 18 march confirmed ( 11th was a no go) from 12 to 5:30 we have to be out for 6. same as last time hot food available to order on the day but fee will cover a few trays of sandwiches, tea and coffee. So who is available, and what would you like to bring ? Has anyone got ideas for this one ? i will start a list off, please just copy past and add too.... SWR RED HEAD, SWR Son of birtha 15 ext cab, SWR SM500, SWR 6x10 golly Wal cust Goodfellow Classic MM Stingray G&L L2000-E ( series E) 81, to show you what all the fuss is about ! G&L L2000 83 HK 6 string fretless. Fender Jazz ...Fotoflame Some tasty Pedals, Can we have synth Pedal shoot out ? if you can bring your synth bass pedal i would be very interested to hear whats out there and try some ? Cheers Guys

My First Assembly - '76' Jazz Bass Sound Clip As a committed P-bass man of more than 40 years, I have a long-standing love/hate relationship with Jazz basses. I like how they look (mostly), I like how they sound (sort of) and I like how they play (up to a point). And yet… when I don’t have one I want one, and when I have one, I’m always looking to move it on… WHY?? My most recent GAS was for an aged Oly White late 70s-type Jazz with a black guard and maple neck - you know the vibe - but without blocks and binding... I don’t like blocks and binding. So I put one together, or at least as close as I could get. This is the first time I’ve ever assembled a bass from bits and the first time I’ve finished a body and neck from the raw wood. I’m fairly pleased with the results, given I’m a complete noob and it was all done with rattle cans. It’s not perfect, but the next one will be better. I learned a lot about the nature of nitro lacquer and the processes of sanding and wet-sanding …and how a bass goes together. Constantly learn new stuff folks, it keeps dementia at bay! Now… what did I come in here for again..? Specifications Paulownia lightweight Jazz body, vintage white Canadian rock maple Jazz neck with maple cap, amber tint Black 3-ply pickguard Alan Entwistle JBX Jazz pickups Schaller BMFL-C 70s tuners Kluson 70s Jazz bridge with slotted-screw saddles Fender CIJ 62 RI control plate, knobs and electrics Fender ‘F’ stamp neck plate with black cushion Fender string tree Fender strap buttons Fender 1969-1976 Type ‘C’ decal D'Addario NYXL 45100 roundwound strings Weight: 7lbs 7oz (very light!) I couldn't decide which pickups to fit. Fralins? Lollars? DiMarzios? To be honest, I was running out of cash so I bought a pair of Alan Entwistle’s JBX pickups, having read some good reviews here and elsewhere. I planned to substitute them with something more prestigious as funds allowed. But! When I soldered them in and fired them up, I was pleasantly surprised. I thought they’d be OK, but they're better than good, they're great. So I'm keeping 'em. What I didn't expect was for the bass to be so light. In fact, the Schallers make it a little neck-heavy, so I may just get some of those licensed Hipshot Ultralites for maximum calorie-loss, in which case the bass will weigh in at around 7lbs. Very rare for a Jazz bass, especially when you consider some of the old 70s examples were real boat anchors. The first to point out what's missing wins half a biro. Good luck!

Hi, everybody ! I wanted to share with you guys the works of the french luthier Patrick Cosme. I'm the proud owner of several instruments he hand-crafted :-D He makes custom hand-made intruments, and has recently started a vintage design instruments serie. I had the occasion to try some of them, and man ! Patrick is not only a fantastic luthier, but also an amazing bassist, and he has an "inside view" of the making of the instrument. He made fretted, fretless, chambered body, fanned fret, piccolo, midi basses, and the "vintage" basses!!! Here are pictures of different instruments, hope you'll enjoy them !

After all the woes with my Cort B4, although still waiting for the preamp to arrive, I saw this thing posted locally and decided to go for it. Clearly some kind of emergency sale, the guy posted it for €140 and went down to €120 by himself. Thinking that's what you pay for an affinity these days, it can't be that bad! Especially after reading so many good things about the guitar in talkbass. They guy came by my office to drop it (delivery included!) so I haven't had a chance to try it. I'll get around it this weekend for sure. I just hope it doesn't go through batteries too fast as it uses two. As far as I could understand it actually has active pickups, not only the preamp. The other thing I'm curious about is the 35" scale. Here are some pics of the wild finish it has... roar!

This might help.

It’s not the filter which lacks volume, it’s the sub octave output which was of low volume. The low pass filter simply removes the high frequencies from the octave down signal, gradually removing frequencies lower and lower as you apply it. Again, this is misleading. In the original pedal, turning up the clean was simply adding some more audible frequencies in (i.e. your bass’s clean signal). In one sense, they may have been the “same” frequencies that the filter removed (numerically speaking, eg, 100Hz) but not the “same” in the sense of coming from the same source signal. The filter only removes frequencies from the octave down signal, whereas you were adding frequencies from the clean signal.

Hello everyone, my name is Romain and I play in a prog metal band called Nonsense. You can hear us here Here mostly for one of the biggest european market place but also interested by the gear's news.

Hi, Ped ! This one is mine, and it's a piccolo midi 29' bass. ;-)

Some of these look lovely. I really like this one Some of the links didn’t work... would like to see more!

OK you've made the case and I'm sure Osiris will not give me a hard time in consequence. Go on then, put me down for 10p. I'll take it off what I would have otherwise donated to Oxfam.

Well, it's got the nod over the R-400 for this weekend...

Just back from the first soundcheck... so far, so good. Tomorrow's going to be a long shift: 9:30am to 9-30pm... ish.,

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No problem - we'll be able to support home-grown UK manufacturing that was dismantled decades ago in favour of a deregulated service economy. Oh, wait...

My wife always says 'don't put out your dirty underwear until you have clean'. In your position a couple of years ago I made the band have the ''talk' It didn't clear the air and any promised changes soon evaporated. I didn't back down and it all ended messily. They went on gigging and I've been sat at home most of the time until recently. I went to see them the other day and they were OK if pedestrian. Ironically another band plying similarly needed a bassist a couple of weeks before the final split and out of loyalty to the band I was unhappy with I turned them down. I should have taken my wife's advice. I missed gigging more than I expected. Relax about your current band, as long as you honour current gigs you won't be letting anyone down. Look for something else, when you find it hand in your notice. Let's face it you aren't spending a lot of time learning new songs, so it really is just the gigs. You can enjoy them once you know you are on your way to something better.

Hi there, Thought you may be interested to hear about my latest job at 'Hamilton: An American Musical' which is playing at The Victoria Palace theatre, London. It's a hip hop musical and I get to play 4 instruments on it! My main bass is my trusty Overwater 5-String Jazz bass; I also play a 4-string Lakland Hollowbody bass strung with flatwounds and played with a pic; I play my double bass with it's newly fitted 'Low C Extension' (for the super low notes needed for this style of music) and also an Artruria Keylab 25 controller keyboard for the synth bass stuff. It's a demanding show but I'm really enjoying it, and the songs written by Linn Manuel Miranda! I'll upload a picture of my pit set-up.. It's a lot of fun! Cheers, Ian

Tapewounds are wound with plastic and are usually roundwound under the tape ... http://www.bassstringsonline.com/Black-Nylon-Tapewounds_ep_49-1.html

I sold Steve a couple of books and he paid straight away, no fuss. Nice 'n easy. No problem. Cheers.

I bought a bass off Steve a week ago: Not only did I get a bargain price for the bass, I also got a free hard case and pair of strings thrown in too! - Not to mention free delivery which he offered as I was talking to him about my current situation. He really didn't have to add these extras in, but he did because he's a top guy. Would definitely recommend!

Steve bought some books from me. Super smooth transaction, a pleasure!

Purchased Steve's Woolly Mammoth, bomb proof packing, all good. Thanks again

I bought Steve's 3 Leaf Enabler. It arrived in record time and everything was lush.

Steve brought my Zvex WM from me after I'd told him he couldnt have it Top geezer Would not hesitate to deal with him again!

Bought a Darkglass Super Symmetry Comp, great guy, he also ship me a cool Monster cable, well packaged too

TU-15 Tuner purchased from Steve, painless transaction, item as described, packaged well and delivered with haste. Deal with confidence, recommended without hesitation. Thanks again mate.

Bought a Spector legend bass from Steve. The deal was a delight throughout. Steve couldn't have been more helpful and he even knocked a tenner off the bass when I went to pick it up. As the others above have said, top bloke, highly recommended.

And I bought it from him Great guy to deal with, smooth and hassle free. Karl

Steve bought my Harvest gig bag. Smooth transaction and a pleasure to deal with. Cheers.

I bought a RMI bass from Steve and it was a pleasure, great guy! Thanks!

Sold Steve a Victor Wooten book, prompt payment and great communication, absolute pleasure to deal with!

Steve bought my Big Baby 2, sale done and met to collect on the same day! Easy peasy and a nice guy to deal with, cheers again Steve!

Steve is an awesome guy to deal with. Very smooth transaction, perfect communication. The bass arrived in absolutely mint condition, very well packed. I'll have to doubt to deal with Steve in the future. Recommend 100%