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You left out: singers who forget the words, singers who use music stands so they can remember the words, singers who talk too much between songs, singers who don't talk at all, singers with either too much or too little 'personality', guitards who play too loud, guitards who tune up between songs, guitards who don't tune up between songs, guitards who use capos, drummers who play too loud or slow down or speed up, promoters who don't promote, charities or mid-range dining establishments looking for free bands in exchange for 'exposure, band mates who arrive late (or not at all) for rehearsals', band mates who leave rehearsals early, band mates who don't learn the songs, bands who play covers too closely to the original, bands who play covers too differently from the original, bands who play covers at all, audiences which are too lethargic, audiences which are too lively, audience members who ignore the band, audience members who ask for requests, audience members who try to speak to you before during or after the gig, work colleagues who ask if you're in a band, couriers who don't turn up, couriers who do turn up but put the parcel in the wrong place, bassists who play solos, bassists who think solos are bad, bassists who slap, pub landlords who fail to put up gig posters, pub landlords who place the band too close to the audience, pub landlords who place the band too far from the audience, people who use a 4x10 on top of a 1x15, John Hall of Rickenbacker, Henry Juskiewicz of Gibson, any New York luthier who charges more than £500 for a bespoke hand-made bass, people with basses that cost more than £1000, young people, middle-aged people, old people, Americans, vegans, vegetarians, plantarians, carnivores, theists, anti-theists, cyclists, people who drive Audis or BMWs, tail-gaters, speeders, overtakers, Cliff Richard fans and anyone who is prepared to see both sides of an argument.

...And I'm fecking loving learning the bass. I didn't want to be one of those guitarists that would pick up a bass and think by default that they can play the instrument. No. And whilst the guitar actually feels quite alien in my hands now (I must factor in enough practice time) actively learning the Bass has been the best decision I have made in many a year. Thanks for your support ✊

Novice musicians place a disproportionate amount of value in the instruments their heroes used, ignoring the fact that it was pretty much all that was available at the time. Also completely disregarding the fact that their heroes wouldn't touch that wonky necked 70s Jazz bass they just paid £2k if their life depended on it. I recall an interview with either Jack Bruce or Eric Clapton regarding rehearsals for the Cream reunion - they got all of their vintage gear out from back in the day, realised their modern equipment was a lot better and binned off all the old stuff. There is nothing special about 40+ year old electric instruments, especially crude bolt on planks like Fenders.

I really do like the look of naturally worn instruments and in the meantime I love brand new shining basses. What a dilemma when it comes to choose one would you say ? Not at all, just play both and pick up the best sounding one and the most ergonomic too. And it won't be the worn one as you would bet even if they are history pieces for sure, most of the time they are just dull sounding. If you don't believe me, try to make the blind test that we've all been through, you'll be surprised by your favourite instrument under these conditions. This test has also been conducted many times with the famous Stradivarius compared to modern designed violins, and even the best players acknowledge that the Stradivarius sounded dull, lacking huge harmonic content, compared to a modern violin crafted by a real master luthier. Sad but true. I've sold all my vintage instruments (and I've owned a lot) when I decided to listen with my ears and not my eyes, or even worst my emotions, and I don't even mention the retail value syndrome here. That said if I had a ridiculous amount of money to throw away, I would buy one of these history pieces, just to hang it on the wall as it's a beautiful work of art when correctly worn... Won't make friends, I know. 😉

Mmm... Tea...

I had a Ford Escort that was like that.

Yes (shortened from the classic "Yes, we have no bananas").

Been after a short scale bass for a while and having sold my Bass VI, I traded in an old 12 string acoustic to get this wee thing on @Teebs' recommendation I'm not convinced about the colour but I'm very impressed with the noise it makes. I'm even more impressed with having some change from the deal 😀

Yesterday morning I had the amazing chance to play the Holy Grail (for me) of bass - a 1960 Fender Jazz What an incredible bass, and a wonderful piece of history. It belonged to the the owner of my favourite music store, who sadly passed away in 2016, but his wife still owns it. All original, and he had it strung with medium gauge flatwounds, which were nicely broken in, and it played and sounded incredible. Needless to say I was pretty stoked to have the chance to play such a bass, definitely a day I’ll remember for a very long time! Here’s the beast in question (pic attached). Cheers, Ryan

I don't play mine much these days as I prefer a wider spacing but I too can vouch for the humble BB, great platform for pimping too if that's the kinda thing that blows your head back!

Don't re spray it but add mini cooper racing stripes!

It's not negative sniping when it's factually correct.

I have a 64 Precision. Why? Because I’m a sheep, got caught up in the fervour and herd mentality and decided an inordinate amount of money would get me a much better bass than any modern rubbish.

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Freshly added to the list - audience members who are going to actively notice if I take my left hand off the neck during a song.

Oh, and people who say "OMG". And "literally". Them too

The dead who lived before us, everyone alive now, all those yet to be born, all life anywhere in the universe and people who put the milk in the cup before pouring the tea rather than adding it afterwards.

Career tip: Be as humble as you like when you're here on BC but when you're out there you're a rock god howling defiance at the heavens with your enemy's skull for a drinking goblet and a chick wrapped round your leg. Think Frank Frazetta artwork and you won't go far wrong

And I get to keep my DAY JOB!!!!!

Seen any good ones? I like this

Just got new bass into family and needed to share it with dear basschaters

Home rig: Gig rig: Practice room rig: Some excellent noise making things.

The old electrical tape trick for a laugh on my Squier Musicmaster ;

Jesus, that's just an appalling set of events. You (and your band mates) have my complete sympathy It's the sort of thing that would throw anyone for a loop so, like you say, maybe let everyone cool down for a couple of weeks.

Truly awful mate. Hope the poor girl isn't left with a scar.

Are antique dining tables necessarily different or objectively better than modern ones? I doubt it but they are an awful lot rarer

Years ago, when we first started, we used to play support to another band that was more established than us and certainly their guitarist was better than ours but we regularly blew them off the stage purely because we played fun songs, never took ourselves too seriously and clearly enjoyed ourselves onstage. Sometimes being very good technically can go against you, especially in Scotland and I suspect The rest of the U.K. too. We love to knock down folks who are too big in it and too far up their own derrière. Another sad but true fact.

People who add sarcastic comments and disappear without explaining

My fb feed is awash with people having ear impressions taken with their mouths closed and no bite block. arghhgggggghhg I need to sit down and chill out for a bit.

Bus drivers. Jamie Oliver!! ☹️

Play a pre CBS P or J bass and you will understand

Yeah! What did the Romans ever do for us?

... and Wednesdays. There, I think that just about covers it.

Don't you think that's a little bit extreme? What about Patrick Moore (RIP)... he was "OK" wasn't he...? 😥 edit: Oh, and Mahatma Gandhi?? 👍

Thanks Simon, I got some 4mm stamps after Bridgehouse very kindly measured the numbers on his own bass (lucky bugger). The neck plate will probably be the next little job I can do while I'm waiting for the neck to arrive. I did the aluminium pickguard shield tonight. I worked out the wording from various photos around to be 'ALCLAD 2024T3 Q' and '2 KAISER' ………...like this I found some stamps online which looked to be near enough same size and font, some red enamel spray paint, a plastic clipboard and one of them roller things for getting dog hair off your trousers! After masking off the shield at what looked like the same width of gaps, I applied the lettering and I'm quite pleased with the results.

I'd play both sets on both basses and see which I prefer, there's plenty of characteristics of each instrument over and above the board material that could affect that decision.

Similar story: There's a chap originally from Macedonia by the name of Radé who has been playing solo gigs (vocals, guitar & backing tracks) in pubs around Norfolk for years. A singer I know was offered the chance to do some gigs with him over in Macedonia and while they were there Radé likewise couldn't walk down the street without constantly being approached for autographs etc. When my friend asked him why he bothered to come over to England and play small pubs for £100 a time, he apparently replied that was still more than he could earn as a big name star back home. Incidentally, nobody ever went to watch a movie about Bruce Wayne the billionaire businessman with a little side-story about his hobby as a masked vigilante. They go to watch Batman (who happens use his day job as a CEO to fund his amazing superhero exploits).

That’s a lovely story, sounds like a great guy. What was the shop called?

It's distressing to know someone was grafting away in the kitchen and no tea came forth. But good job on the board !

‘World’s Okayest Bass Player’ Christmas present from my brother.

Worst gig ever was a band showcase, or at least that’s what it was billed as, at a Country Club/ hotel type place. We were told there would be travelling expenses plus food and drink for all the acts. Arrived at venue to be told that travelling expenses info was incorrect, not really an issue as it was only half an hour or so away from us. We were a originals rock band, all hair and Ibanez guitars (as was the thing back then), we then get told we were on between the magician and the Neil Diamond impersonator, alarm bells are starting to ring. Go to the backstage room, here’s the free food and drink, a huge bowl of stale crisps and a crate of out of date light ale! Get through the gig, being largely ignored or frowned at, and as we’re packing guitars away in the backstage area, the organiser comes in and says “well done lads, you finished second, Neil Diamond won”. Feeling very deflated by now, our guitarist pipes up to try and cheer us up and says “ah well, he was very good, at least we came second” at which point our drummer walks in and says “turns out only three acts turned up, and while we were getting ready backstage, the magician tried to saw his assistant in half but the table broke and she fell off the stage and fractured her wrist, and we only beat him by one vote”! Luckily no one else wanted the light ale so at least we could drink enough to see the funny side of it all!