Jump to content
Len_derby

Bass boo-boos

Recommended Posts

I thought I'd start a thread for people to admit their, hopefully humorous, bass face-palm moments. This is inspired by what I did last night.

I got my acoustic bass guitar out of its bag ready for a rehearsal today - prior to an unplugged gig we've got in March. The strings felt like they needed a bit of a clean. So, I said to the wife, "Have we any isopropyl alcohol anywhere?" She replied, "No, but you can use some of my vodka if you want".

Five minutes later I go back to the room where she's watching television. "The good news is; it doesn't leave a stain and evoporates quickly". I'd only gone and knocked the open bottle over and most of it poured over the table and on to the floor. An extra Norman Wisdom touch was that next doors' dog was with me. I give her respite from their teething toddler. Being part Laborador she moves like stinky poo off a shovel if there's any hint of food or drink. I reckon she got a couple of generous doubles before I restrained her. Problem is, she'll expect that every time now and sit by the booze cupboard howling.

The bass strings now feel much better though.

  • Like 1
  • Haha 14

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
58 minutes ago, Len_derby said:

I thought I'd start a thread for people to admit their, hopefully humorous, bass face-palm moments. This is inspired by what I did last night.

I got my acoustic bass guitar out of its bag ready for a rehearsal today - prior to an unplugged gig we've got in March. The strings felt like they needed a bit of a clean. So, I said to the wife, "Have we any isopropyl alcohol anywhere?" She replied, "No, but you can use some of my vodka if you want".

Five minutes later I go back to the room where she's watching television. "The good news is; it doesn't leave a stain and evoporates quickly". I'd only gone and knocked the open bottle over and most of it poured over the table and on to the floor. An extra Norman Wisdom touch was that next doors' dog was with me. I give her respite from their teething toddler. Being part Laborador she moves like stinky poo off a shovel if there's any hint of food or drink. I reckon she got a couple of generous doubles before I restrained her. Problem is, she'll expect that every time now and sit by the booze cupboard howling.

The bass strings now feel much better though.

😂

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The one I always remember for me is when I was 16 I was doing a gig in a pub in Glasgow.. My bro drive me in with my bass amp. After sou d check I had my p bass copy plugged in and leaning against the fabric grill of the amp. Windsor the drummer stepped back off the 4" drum rise, onto my lead which pushed right into the cavity, breaking the plastic pick guard and making the lead stuck inside at an angle. It still worked so we decided just to play the gig as is and deal with it at a later date.

Started the gig to find my amp farting as it had never farted before. After a quick look I could see that there was a perfect tuning peg sized hole in the speaker.. Must have happened during the lead incident. Had to just put up with it, however I then broke a string and had no spares, so one of the other bands handed me their bass to play. 

Complete disaster. 

 

Only to get back to the car to find it had been broken into! 

 

Oh what a night that was. 

  • Like 3
  • Haha 1
  • Sad 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't like to admit this, but in the spirit of Basschat friendliness and love, I got to a gig last year to discover I'd got all the kit, PA, cab, etc. etc............

but no bass.

Fortunately the gig was only 10 mins from  my house, and I'm always early so a quick dash home and all was well. I know how it happened - I always pack the car but leave my bass until I'm ready to go (it's the only thing I can't easily replace as I'm left handed) and leave it just inside the door ready and waiting. This time I got distracted  while getting ready (I'm a bit forgetful these days) and left it upstairs in my study -  It's a gig where I don't use my trusty P but a Warwick StarBass which lives there most of the time - rushed out of the door and just forgot: as it wasn't inside the door I assumed it was in the car with the rest of the gear. The first and last time that it's ever going to happen!

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I must have done this one on these pages before but I once spent a frantic five minutes at the start of a set with no sound coming from my amp or the PA. Frontman had to make awkward banter whilst I checked everything. Amp on, bass on full, everything connected up, sound man on stage, he checks everything, still nothing..., drummer comes over and investigates too, still nothing... guy at the front of the crowd enquires as to whether a cable is required between my bass and amp... 🤦‍♂️ 

  • Like 1
  • Haha 14

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Bent down to help keyboardist lift one of his flight cases and ripped my trousers from belt line to crotch, a good 8 inch gash. Had to patch them up inside with silver duct tape but you could still see the rip line as the tape backing was showing through in places. And I had nothing else to change into...

Spent the rest of the night with my back very close to the walls!

  • Like 1
  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I was auditioning for a band. Transcribed their full EP, got all the songs down. Checked all my gear it was all good to go. 

Got there early, had a good chat with everyone, nailed all the audition songs on the EP, even played another one of their songs just after a quick chat about it.

Had another good chat, then said to them I will pack up all my gear and let you guys have a chat and you can get in touch, all the time playing it cool.

Left the rehearsal room and checked my pockets...couldn’t find my car keys.  I had to go back into the room with my tail between my legs asking if my keys where there...They weren’t. Turns out they were in my gig bag all long....

All ended well though, I got the gig, and still with them 2 years later, and the guys have become good friends.

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Many years ago, in my youth, I destroyed the output transistors on a cheap Amstrad home stereo amp by practising bass through it.  I had everything rigged with twisted cable joins between a hacked guitar cable and the horrible DIN input on the amp.

image.png.a2250d903510fb1989ccd809aafef6a8.png

It made a wicked sound though.  To this day, I can only recreate it by turning up all the knobs on my B3's Big Muff sim.

  • Like 1
  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

too many to remember. But many years ago at the end of a particularly good gig, I raised my bass upwards in triumph...

Only to be suddenly covered in fragments of the polystyrene ceiling tiles I'd just put the head stock through.

  • Like 1
  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I remember panicking big time at Rebellion a couple of years back, there was no output from my bass at all. Which I eventually realised was due to not plugging the lead into it!

  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Played a gig in Saaaaaaafend a few years back and the venue had a drum riser that wasn't quite big enough for our drummers kit, during the first song one of his cymbal stands fell and the cymbal edge guillotined straight through the master stage power cable and shorted out the entire venue! The power running through said cable must have been pretty immense as the edge of his cymbal (A fairly thick Sabian AAX I seem to remember) looked like someone had taken an arc-welder to it. Proper smelted!

  • Like 4
  • Haha 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 01/02/2020 at 09:14, Len_derby said:

She replied, "No, but you can use some of my vodka if you want".

 

what a woman! :) 

  • Haha 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I turned up to a show with all of my bass gear, lights and P.A.  only to discover when setting up that I had left the mixer at home - an hour and a half’s drive away. 😳

fortunately a helpful member of the audience lived nearby and offered the use of theirs 

phew!!

another time I did the load out and idiot check, drive an hour home and unloaded to find that I had left two basses at the venue. 
fortunately as it was a biker ‘do’ they helped me out and I had to collect them the following day 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I forgot our power amp once. Just managed to drive the 20 mile round trip to get it whilst the sound engineer did a line check with the other 2.

Forgot my strap once and had to use my belt. This was for a TV appearance but it wasn't noticeable.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I had a senior moment last night.

I had a great rehearsal with my band in a village Hall about 40mins alway. Chatting and packing up I helped the drummer out with his kit, loaded the car and drove home.

Took amp and gig bag out of my car, then opened the rear door to find a big space on the back-seat where my Prcision should have been.

after several panicky phone calls a large scotch, and a very sleepless night, I went back collected the key and picked it up from the table that I’d left it on today.

Edited by lonestar

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 01/02/2020 at 11:27, SpondonBassed said:

Many years ago, in my youth, I destroyed the output transistors on a cheap Amstrad home stereo amp by practising bass through it.  I had everything rigged with twisted cable joins between a hacked guitar cable and the horrible DIN input on the amp.

image.png.a2250d903510fb1989ccd809aafef6a8.png

It made a wicked sound though.  To this day, I can only recreate it by turning up all the knobs on my B3's Big Muff sim.

I had exactly that same Amstrad amp rigged up as my bass amp when I first started playing. My dad wired it up for me with the headphone out operating as the input and screwed to a hi fi speaker cab into which he had mounted two 8” speakers. A plastic belt was screwed on each side and it became a highly portable combo. Sounded absolutely shocking of course but did me until I was able to buy an SW head and cab from my mums Kay’s catalogue. Those were the days! 

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I arrived at a gig a few years ago, parked a few metres away from the pub door and sat in the car waiting for the rain that was hammering down to stop. After ten minutes I realised it wasn’t easing off so decided I’d better make a run for it and get the gear inside. I managed to shift my bass, amp head and cables bag quickly, then returned to the car for my cab, which fortunately had two little wheels built in that worked well if you tilted the cab and pushed. I got the cab out, locked the car, tilted the cab back and ran through the still pouring rain towards the pub door. At that point the wheels on the cab hit an uneven paving slap and abruptly stopped. Thanks to the laws of inertia I went derrière over tit, right over the top of the cab and into an undignified heap on the pavement in front of the pub door, much to the amusement of assorted band mates and punters. Now, I’m a 6’ 2”, eighteen stone lump so it wasn’t just my pride that was hurt. Anyway, nothing broken - I got through the gig and I can see the funny side of it now. 

 

 

  • Haha 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Who else has played through an unfamiliar festival back line and played the first song with the amp on ‘standby’?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Admittedly this was in my guitar playing days but we had a gig that had went really well. Pretty much no-one was there but the people that were made it a really great night ( encore, stage invasion etc) and we were doing our usual 'make a load of noise at the end' schtick. In a brief moment of madness I decided it would look/sound cool to let my guitar drop onto the ground (base of guitar on the ground, me letting go of the headstock and let gravity take over). It did sound cool but when I picked up my (set neck) Gibson SG there was a massive fracture at the Headstock. Was very sad and embarrassed taking my baby up to string out guitars in Glasgow to see if they could save the patient. Good news is they are awesome and you wouldn't know something has happened to it to look at it today. I am a lot more careful these days and don't listen to the little voices in my head as much! 😬

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
19 hours ago, MacDaddy said:

too many to remember. But many years ago at the end of a particularly good gig, I raised my bass upwards in triumph...

Only to be suddenly covered in fragments of the polystyrene ceiling tiles I'd just put the head stock through.

Pah! I can top that!

Playing at a gastropub last year, a place with the oh-so-fashionable oversized globes for lightbulbs. It's a rockabilly band so I'm on DB, but I play a Precision for a few songs in the middle of each set, and usually for the encore(s) too. 

We get a bunch of encores, which is nice, but then it's game over and time to swing the bass over my head as I remove it. There's a loud explosion, rather like a grenade going off, and an area about 6' square gets showered with thousands of tiny, very sharp fragments of broken glass.

God knows what pressure was being used inside that bulb, but it was a really impressive end to the gig. The landlady was SO pleased, too.

Luckily it was a wooden floor and could be swept. I hate to think what would have happened if it had been carpeted.

 

  • Haha 3

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Biggest gig we've done last November. Proper venue and we are first support for a name Artist.  Enter stage from backstage trying to look cool and collected for the hundred or so early punters there lined up at the barrier. Every thing was sounding great at soundcheck, but when I start the first song I can hear myself in the monitors and front of house, but my trousers aren't exactly flapping in a bass tornado. Turn around to look at the amp and its dark. In my pre-gig nerves I've forgotten to turn on the bloody Ampeg and all I'm hearing is the DI to FOH from my preamp pedal.

Clearly punters are hearing bass so not an issue ....but at the end of first song I have a walk of shame to the amp to turn it on- Which being a Portaflex - erupts in beautiful purple light to highlight my shame in a beautiful glow...

  • Like 1
  • Haha 2

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

a bit worse for wear set up and continued drinking . set time comes plug in and no sound. bemused looks all round until someone noticed id plugged into the wrong head 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I played a gig in a nice bar once - two sets with a 20 minute break between them. 

I went to the toilet during the break. The cubicles had huge, heavyweight doors, which looked great, and spanned from the floor to the top of the door opening. Anyhow.... I went in to the cubicle and pushed the door shut, only to find that there was no handle on the inside - it had broken off!! 

It was then that I realised that there was no way for me to get the door open from inside. I waited until until I heard someone entering the toilet. I said, "hello, can you help me in here?". All I heard was the unknown patron turning on his heel and leaving the toilet!!! 

I tried texting my bandmates (who by now were all set up wondering where I'd got to!). As they were on stage, none of them had their phones to hand! Aaagh!!!

Fortunately someone else entered the toilet, and this time I said, "hello? I'm stuck in the cubicle, could you push the door open from the outside please?". Thankfully, this this time the punter obliged!! 

 

FB_IMG_1506205830710.jpg

  • Haha 6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

My second ever gig back in the 90’s at a half decent venue. I was a newbie bass player on L plates, fingers were raw having dreamt on being the next Louis Johnson -  although in reality I could not slap for shizzle. I was aware of my very sore blistered fingers so on another bassists recommendation I bought some superglue to put over the blisters...anyhow, long story short-nipped to the loos between sets and squeezed the cheapy glue and the top shoots off the glue and all over my fingers and hand....to make it worse I reached for toilet tissue to wipe it off...it was a very difficult and memorable second set. 

  • Haha 6

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.


  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.



×
×
  • Create New...