Is last night's audience of one a record?

[leschirons]

Or have any of you actually played to a zero audience?

What with the World cup, a town fete for all the inhabitants and a new night club opening just up the road, we expected it be a little quiet last night, but one?

In a bar / restaurant, under new management, from 10.15 to 11.45, we played to one man (albeit a very appreciative man) two waitresses and the owner. Didn't even have the obligatory dog come in

Got paid in full and treated really well with regard to food and drinks and, he offered us two more bookings. So, I guess it was a paid practice with a nice meal thrown in.

Edited June 15, 2014 by leschirons

[TheGreek]

Well you know that 100% of the crowd enjoyed your performance...

[rogerstodge]

Well you've beaten our turnout of the grand total of 3.. Plus bar staff of course

[Beer of the Bass]

I have played to the promoter plus barman once, no audience at all. We went ahead with it anyway - what else do you do after you've turned up and set up your gear?

[joeystrange]

Played to the sound guy once. Demanded that he left the room so we could play to nobody.

[Bolo]

Barman and one regular, who was quite annoyed with all the racket.

[Dad3353]

Yes, indeed, and for the very reason you've given..! I was drums for several variety groups, and 'depped' quite a lot, and was particularly pleased when 'Tropicana' were booked for the annual fête for our village at the time, Chatillons sur Colmont. A popular local event, with a mobi-cross in the afternoon, and almost literally a stone's throw from home. What luck..!
We set up in the marque for 16h00, sound check and all, then waited for the 21h00 start. No-one came. We played until just after midnight (normally we'd go through until well after 02h00...), and no-one had come. We had played to a completely empty venue, excepting the poor fellow at the door selling tickets to no-one.
Instead of driving straight home, I decided to go the long way round and discovered, at a distance of about 5 kms, the reason. It was the inaugural evening for the very first disco club in the region, La Butte, and not only the car park, but the whole surrounding vicinity was chock-a-block with cars. I got an early night for a change, but that evening spelt the imminent end of these week-end dances and fêtes. This was the late '70s. Happy days.

Edited June 15, 2014 by Dad3353

[Roger2611]

Yeah we played a town centre bar last year, we turned up and the single barmaid said "you won't see a soul through those doors before 11.15 and by the way finish at 11.10 please.....she was correct and even she disappeared 10 minutes in to our set and only came back at half time......to make matters worse the guitarists son and daughter staggered in at 11.20 and demanded to know why we had finished playing......stupid thing was, in the 40 minutes it took to pack away the place filled up and no end of the punters asked what time the band was starting and were peeved that we had already finished.

The venue stopped having bands after that and closed down a few months later

[skankdelvar]

Barman + doorman in a 400 cap bar / club.

Lots of slapback echo off the walls.

[White Cloud]

I have played to the bar staff once or twice. It was still better than playing to two oap's who were playing chess though (I jest not!).

[RhysP]

I was the audience at a gig once - a package tour of five young bands from Switzerland who were all really good.
Felt so sorry for them.
At least they were there to give each other support so the place didn't seem quite so empty.
They had good crowds everywhere else they played in the UK, that's bloody typical of Cardiff, stupid shithole backwater that it is.

[seashell]

I've been a one woman audience. Went to a friend's comedy gig, and I was the only person there who wasn't another comedian waiting to go on. Compere had to do all her gags at me, and kept referring to me as The Audience.
It was December, no heating in the venue and I went down with a rotten cold shortly afterwards.
:-(

[gadgie]

I don't know if this counts but I was once part of an audience of 4 folk. To together I might add.....all standing in different areas of the bar. Really enjoyed the band playing the music. However the bar owner had different ideas. He told them to stop playing because he thought they were sh*te. They kept playing...he jumped the bar and pulled the plug out the wall. The 'crowd' went mental, shouting at the owner to get the plug back in....he did:)
I think the band was an early version of APB.

[BassTractor]

Yup, played to a zero audience once and to only a caretaker once or twice.

Once, the concert was announced and posters were spread, but no-one turned up. So I asked the caretaker whether he wanted to go home right away or whether we should wait a little, but he said he would like me to play, as he had stuff to do, and I'd provide a nice backing for that.
I think he probably said that mostly coz he felt sorry for me.

Mind ya, I really deserved that no-one turned up.
Twas a classical pipe organ concert fer cryin' out loud!


Another time, I was totally on my own, but played as long as the caretaker allowed me, coz it was possibly the best pipe organ in Holland, and just having gained access to it was a breeze. Happily, it was after midnight before I had to pack down - quite extraordinary for a classical "concert".

Edited June 15, 2014 by BassTractor

[waynepunkdude]

Once played to one, guy turned out to be a promoter from a bigger venue, got loads of decent gigs from it.

[BILL POSTERS]

Once played a pub with huge window overlooking a canal out back . Good size stage, great PA. rubbish promoter. So sound guy and two bouncers + bar staff.

Only audience was a guy sitting on the roof of his narrow boat drinking. But at least he had the decency to shout for more at the end of our set.

[James Nada]

I once played to an audience of minus 2!

There were zero punters, so after our first set the manager sent the two bar staff home. Minus 2!

[BassTractor]

[quote name='James Nada' timestamp='1402858504' post='2477345']
Minus 2!
[/quote]

[Lozz196]

In my last band, The Tuesday Club, we played a gig where the only audience member was in fact checking us out to join on keyboards (Basschats very own Transistor Bassman). We must have been ok as he joined.

[PTB]

I once played to bar staff & the support band members. I was paid one packet of crisps.

[lurksalot]

WE played to the bar staff and a photgrapher who wanted to do some shots , she had friends and family that wanted to come but the landlord would not allow under 16's so they all sacked it off . at 11.45 we called it a day and were packing up when 50 people walked in and wanted us to play . The landlord had booked us and took his regular clientele to the dogs in manchester !!
we thought it would kick off when we refused to play any more , we got paid though .

[essexbasscat]

Played to just the barstaff once. They booked us for Guy Fawkes night and the displays were miles away

[wateroftyne]

We sold out a 450-seater hall at the other end of the country. £15 per ticket. The next afternoon, on the way home, we honoured a free-entry pub gig in a town local to us.

Not one person showed up. No-one. And it was FREE.

With the agreement of the manager, we pulled the everything down and left without playing a note.

Anticlimax? Yep.

[leschirons]

Well I have to say, you lot have certainly cheered me up. Some brilliant stories there.

Thanks.

[Hobbayne]

I once played at a pub to one enthusiastic but drunk punter who left shortly after. We then played to nobody.
The strange thing was the other bar round the back was heaving!
The landlord paid us off after 30 mins saying we were not the kind of band he wanted at his venue!