Cowardly and underhand band politics...

[solo4652]

I set up my band with the drummer. We agreed right from the start that it would be a wine-bar vibe, not a rock band. Songs were chosen, band name was chosen, singer recruited with this in mind. Two guitarists came and went. I went on holiday 2 weeks ago knowing a new guitarist was going to jam with the band. He turned out to be a rock/blues guitarist keen to play long solos. Drummer decided that was good and that I wouldn't want to go there. So, while I'm on holiday, the band recruited a replacement bassist who is happy to play rock/blues. All this happened without anybody speaking to me. How cowardly and underhand is that?

[Lozz196]

In your position I`d contact the drummer and ask when our next wine-bar vibe/non-rock/blues band rehearsal was booked for, adding that I`m really looking forward to it after my holiday.

 

Essentially, make the tosser squirm.

[Woodinblack]

Is the singer ok with that?

Looks like you need to start another wine-bar vibe band with someone more reliable.

[Rich]

23 minutes ago, solo4652 said:

All this happened without anybody speaking to me. 

Jesus wept. How did you find out?

To be honest, it's probably a good job you found out so early on that he/they are capable of such disgraceful sh!tbaggery. You may have dodged a bullet further down the line. 

[lemmywinks]

The best way to not have a band go down the inevitable blues/rock road is to just not have a guitarist tbh. Agree that this sounds like a bullet dodged, just be thankful it happened this early.

 

I've lost count of the amount of bands I've been in that started out as dancey pop outfits for weddings/money gigs but slowly turn into old man pub rock bands. I've noticed our band Spotify list has had a recent influx of sweaty old rock added to it over the last few months so might be time to evaluate again.

 

Edited 16 hours ago by lemmywinks

[christhammer666]

prob a good thing to find out now rather then down the road once established that they are all morons

[solo4652]

42 minutes ago, Rich said:

Jesus wept. How did you find out?

To be honest, it's probably a good job you found out so early on that he/they are capable of such disgraceful sh!tbaggery. You may have dodged a bullet further down the line. 

 

Yesterday, a day after I returned from holiday, I posted a message on the band's WhatsApp group saying: "I'm now back from holiday. Any news?" Drummer then rang me to tell me that the band didn't feel I was the right bassist for them, now that the band's direction had suddenly changed. He was right to assume I wouldn't want to go with them, but it should have been discussed with me and I should have been given the choice. Futhermore, to recruit a replacement bassist behind my back was completely unacceptable. Today, I'm smarting, I'm angry, I'm gobsmacked at some people's lack of consideration and sense of socially acceptable behaviour. I don't know waht the singer thinks - I've not asked her to comment. I don't want to put her in a difficult position and effectively ask her to tell tales out of school. 

Edited 17 hours ago by solo4652

[TimR]

I'd say the issue here was auditioning and accepting a new player without the whole band on board to agree.

 

I got fed up with playing Rock/Blues to an audience who kept asking us to "Play something we know." and "Play something we can dance to."

 

We now play modern pop with a rock edge and frequently get comments like "It's good to hear something different from the usual blues rock we get." and people actually get up and dance. 

 

Bands evolve, time to move on, although it's preferable to be the one making the decision to leave. 

[Jean-Luc Pickguard]

The singer may or may not be thrilled with the change of genre, it's probably worth asking if she wants to jump ship & form another band with the original remit.

 

Edited 13 hours ago by Jean-Luc Pickguard

[lemmywinks]

Definitely try and poach the singer. 

 

What are gigging opportunities like for pub rock where you are? They're becoming few and far between now where I live, far more gigs for more laid back music that can fit in with the small bar circuit.

[Phil Starr]

29 minutes ago, solo4652 said:

 

Yesterday, a day after I returned from holiday, I posted a message on the band's WhatsApp group saying: "I'm now back from holiday. Any news?" Drummer then rang me to tell me that the band didn't feel I was the right bassist for them, now that the band's direction had suddenly changed. He was right to assume I wouldn't want to go with them, but it should have been discussed with me and I should have been given the choice. Futhermore, to recruit a replacement bassist behind my back was completely unacceptable. Today, I'm smarting, I'm angry, I'm gobsmacked at some people's lack of consideration and sense of socially acceptable behaviour. I don't know waht the singer thinks - I've not asked her to comment. I don't want to put her in a difficult position and effectively ask her to tell tales out of school. 

You are quite right to be completely outraged by this. There is however little point in losing it with them. You either accept this as fait accompli or try to fight. Believe it I've been there as I supect have most of us. You could try telling the drummer that it is your band not his and if he wants to go off and start an entirely different band with his new guitarist friend then he needs to do so.

 

Like @pickguard I'd be ringing the singer and asking if she is happy with the changes, make sure she knows you aren't asking her to change sides just whether she would prefer being in your band with the set list she agreed to or the new band with the extended guitar solos. She may be extremely unsettled knowing she is working with such devious selfish people but let her raise any aspect of how they've behaved. Be the nice guy. My prediction is that this band won't be stable with two big egos and no personal loyalty. With that choice of music gigs are likely to be thin on the ground. Anyway with the singer on your side you are in a strong enough position to recruit new people.

 

One word of warning, guitarists who are willing to play anything other than some genre of rock/blues are unusual down here in 'wurzel country'. in fact if you play guitar I might have a proposition for you

[Rich]

At risk of appearing unimaginative in my replies...

 

4 minutes ago, Phil Starr said:

You are quite right to be completely outraged by this. There is however little point in losing it with them. You either accept this as fait accompli or try to fight. Believe it I've been there as I supect have most of us. You could try telling the drummer that it is your band not his and if he wants to go off and start an entirely different band with his new guitarist friend then he needs to do so.

 

Like @pickguard I'd be ringing the singer and asking if she is happy with the changes, make sure she knows you aren't asking her to change sides just whether she would prefer being in your band with the set list she agreed to or the new band with the extended guitar solos. She may be extremely unsettled knowing she is working with such devious selfish people but let her raise any aspect of how they've behaved. Be the nice guy. My prediction is that this band won't be stable with two big egos and no personal loyalty. With that choice of music gigs are likely to be thin on the ground. Anyway with the singer on your side you are in a strong enough position to recruit new people.

...this, in its 100% entirety.  

[chris_b]

2 hours ago, solo4652 said:

Cowardly and underhand band politics...

 

Yep. Par for the course.

 

Same happened to me twice last year. Same band leader for both bands and same behaviour. 

 

Some guys are just A-holes!!

[Woodinblack]

24 minutes ago, Phil Starr said:

You are quite right to be completely outraged by this. There is however little point in losing it with them. You either accept this as fait accompli or try to fight. Believe it I've been there as I supect have most of us. You could try telling the drummer that it is your band not his and if he wants to go off and start an entirely different band with his new guitarist friend then he needs to do so.

 

Yeh, I had this before with one singer and drummer, I felt annoyed afterwards I had accepted it rather than pointing out that it was actually more my band than theirs. However we watched them over the next few years go through successions of guitarists / female singers / bass players before they finally seemed to give up. It was clear the weak area was the singer, I guess even if you refuse to accept you are the weak link at some point you get fed up trying to find out why everyone else is wrong.

I was annoyed at the start, but the time they split up I was quite dissapointed I wouldn't be able to keep up with their facebook posts introducing the new singer / guitarist, and the next post saying about that same person going off to explore other avenues.

 

You dodged a bullet, find someone else, make a new group, but yes, get in touch with the singer. If they signed on for a cafe / wine bar vibe they are probably not going to be happy doing blues

[tinyd]

+1 on on the "get in touch with singer" idea. Singer, bass and guitar might be enough for a wine-bar thing anyway and you can take your time finding a drummer who can play quietly. 

[MNY]

To be honest I’ve experienced similar when I was playing drums in a Wigan based covers band. I only found out as someone posted photos on FB from a rehearsal the band was having with a different drummer. The band leader bass player phoned me a few days later to explain that it was nothing to do with my ability and that he had replaced me with the singer’s wife so they could do more gigs. In principle I guess the reasoning was ok but the whole process of informing me left a lot to be desired.  I think the band should have changed their name from Shallow Groove to Shallow Bast***s.😂. I was annoyed for a while to be honest as I had put a lot of time and effort into getting the parts spot on including Times like These (I was the only one who could count to 7) but after a while I moved on to much better bands and more high profile gigs. 
 

I’m sorry that you have had to experience such poor manners and standards of behaviour, I would like to think that incidents such as these are few and far between but they’re probably not. 
 

All the best in your search for something better, onwards and upwards! 

[fretmeister]

Definitely poach the singer if she's interested.

 

I'm assuming you are already making plans to seduce the drummers wife? It is the expected response I understand.

[Beedster]

Sorry to hear this @solo4652, sounds like you're well out of it, although that's not a lot of help I know. I'm starting to understand why band members choose to own the PA or the van, reduces the chances of this shit happening..... 

[miles'tone]

Unfortunately the only healthy thing you can do is turn your back on the situation and look towards your next opportunity with people who hopefully will have more professionalism and higher moral standards.

[Bluewine]

5 hours ago, TimR said:

I'd say the issue here was auditioning and accepting a new player without the whole band on board to agree.

 

I got fed up with playing Rock/Blues to an audience who kept asking us to "Play something we know." and "Play something we can dance to."

 

We now play modern pop with a rock edge and frequently get comments like "It's good to hear something different from the usual blues rock we get." and people actually get up and dance. 

 

Bands evolve, time to move on, although it's preferable to be the one making the decision to leave. 

 

 

I've been doing this for a very long time. I'm sure a lot of you " old timers" are just like me. We can spot trouble before it happens. 

 

Daryl

[jezzaboy]

3 hours ago, Beedster said:

Sorry to hear this @solo4652, sounds like you're well out of it, although that's not a lot of help I know. I'm starting to understand why band members choose to own the PA or the van, reduces the chances of this shit happening..... 

Good point and that is why I own the pa and own and run the Facebook page. But that drummer is a tube, he deserves to be named and shamed. Agree with trying to ask the singer if she is happy doing extended blues tune, I can`t think of anything worse to be honest. Hope you get it sorted.

[SumOne]

Forget any advice about 'rising above it', I  advise to 'sink beneath it', ideally with with cowardly and underhand tactics.

 

Start off by going to their gigs after you've had an industrial amount of beans - stink the place out then run away.

[Dan Dare]

6 hours ago, solo4652 said:

 

Yesterday, a day after I returned from holiday, I posted a message on the band's WhatsApp group saying: "I'm now back from holiday. Any news?" Drummer then rang me to tell me that the band didn't feel I was the right bassist for them, now that the band's direction had suddenly changed. He was right to assume I wouldn't want to go with them, but it should have been discussed with me and I should have been given the choice. Futhermore, to recruit a replacement bassist behind my back was completely unacceptable. Today, I'm smarting, I'm angry, I'm gobsmacked at some people's lack of consideration and sense of socially acceptable behaviour. I don't know waht the singer thinks - I've not asked her to comment. I don't want to put her in a difficult position and effectively ask her to tell tales out of school. 

 

I agree with those who say bullet dodged. It does sound as if the others were not on the same page as you, so it would only have been a matter of time before a falling-out occurred. As you've nothing to lose, ask the singer if it's bugging you. If she's gone along with it, she's hardly in your corner and it isn't as if you'll be burning any bridges if the deed has already been done.

[Downunderwonder]

10 hours ago, lemmywinks said:

Definitely try and poach the singer. 

 

What are gigging opportunities like for pub rock where you are? They're becoming few and far between now where I live, far more gigs for more laid back music that can fit in with the small bar circuit.

This.

 

The only thing harder to replace than guitarists and drummers is a proper singer.

[hiram.k.hackenbacker]

11 hours ago, solo4652 said:

Drummer then rang me to tell me that the band didn't feel I was the right bassist for them….

Hang on, the band at the outset was you and the drummer? I would be having a significantly memorable conversation with the twit.