The worst gig you've ever played?

[gjones]

We've all had them. You know the ones where you were convinced you'd get stabbed before you could get though the last song. Or you've turned up at a gig to play with a band you've never met before for a gig in front of a thousand people and you've left all your chord charts at home on the kitchen table.

[Doddy]

[quote name='gjones' post='1224612' date='May 8 2011, 10:33 PM']You know the ones where you were convinced you'd get stabbed before you could get though the last song.[/quote]

The only time I've ever had that feeling was with one of my old bands. It was a gig through an 'agent' at an,
apparently,ok music venue.Anyway,we turned up at this complete dump of a pub and found people openly doing drugs
on the front steps,and in the short time it took us to go in to check the place out(which was tiny and with no stage
area or anything),we came out to find a gang of lads eyeing up the cars. So,we got in the cars,nipped around the
corner to McDonalds and decided to not go back and picked up a cancellation job near home. We spoke to the 'agent'
the next day thinking he'd be pissed off,but he wasn't fussed.Apparently we weren't the first band to refuse to do the gig.

[Gareth Hughes]

Maybe not the worst but up there was driving across Ireland (ok, doesn't take that long), setting up our gear and soundchecking only for the headline band to come in and tell us we weren't actually on the bill. It was a mix up between record labels. Fair enough, mistakes happen. What made it memorable was - as we were packing the gear up, obviously in a pretty pissed off and demoralised mood, this drunk guy walks past, looks at the gear and with complete deadpan seriousness shouts 'You's were sh*te!!!!' Our singer nearly lamped him. And we almost let him.

[risingson]

I've had a few gigs where a few punters have had one too many lines of coke and think it's okay to do whatever they want. Usually though all they want to do is talk total rubbish to you at the end of your sets, and most of them are harmless/

One of the worst gigs I've ever played was a birthday in Glasgow at a really amazing venue... however the woman (who had seen us before, we played her daughter's wedding) was complaining that the guests weren't dancing like they were at her daughter's event and that we should play some more 'upbeat' music that people knew better. We'd played a whole set worth of Motown and well known Beatles tunes so we were a little puzzled by this so we played 'Superstition' by Stevie W. She stopped us for a second time complaining that she'd never heard the song in her life (idiot) and that she wasn't happy that people still weren't dancing (few of he guests were below the age of 65 which didn't help). Luckily her daughter told her in fewer words that she was being totally ridiculous and we got plenty of great compliments from just about everyone else, but she made the night hell for us otherwise. I almost lost my cool with her until I remembered she was paying us at the end of the night... once we were finished playing, as a means of apologising to us her daughter and husband, two of the nicest people I've ever met took us out in Glasgow and we got pretty slaughtered to make up for it.

There's no pleasing some people out there

Edited May 8, 2011 by risingson

[Randy_Marsh]

Played a gig with the previous lead singer (note previous) at a local venue. When we picked him up he was already drinking, but said it was only his second can (we later found out it was a few more than that at that point). In the car ride over he was struggling to remember the lyrics to some songs and we had to go over them with him, but he seemed ok. At this point we told him to stop drinking and he agreed he would. We got to the venue and the promoter had left a couple of crates to split between the bands, so we all had a couple except the singer (well, we thought ) and started to soundcheck. Anyway the singer kept on drinking all the way through the night behind our backs. When it came to us playing he was so pissed he could barely stand up and talk or sing... We ended up doing a very short set, as we were getting shouts of "next band". We then basically told him to do one and he was out of the band, at which point he somersaulted over the bar (we still can't work out why) and was hauled out by the bouncers.

Got a call the next morning from his girlfriend. The singer was in hospital after throwing himself in front of car the night before, as he thought we all hated him because we kicked him out of the band.

Pretty bad gig as far as bad gigs go...

[icastle]

[quote name='gjones' post='1224612' date='May 8 2011, 10:33 PM']We've all had them. You know the ones where you were convinced you'd get stabbed before you could get though the last song. Or you've turned up at a gig to play with a band you've never met before for a gig in front of a thousand people and you've left all your chord charts at home on the kitchen table.[/quote]

Never had a truly disasterous gig.

I suppose the nearest one would be at an outdoor carnival a few years ago where I was DI'd straight into the desk and the engineer forgot to add me into the foldback mix.
Trying to play in time when all you can hear is the slapback from a building about half a mile away is quite an experience...

[Clarky]

The one where my old punk band played at The Gaff in Holloway Road, London late on A Monday night to an audience of one - Mrs Clarky

Edited May 8, 2011 by Clarky

[paul_5]

Did some dep work with a fairly locl soul / funk band. Great set and great musicians (Disco Inferno, Carwash etc...) and all serious fairly pro guys. We played some function or other for some bloke who was a millionaire or something. What a complete twat. The single most obnoxious piece of work I've ever met in my life, he kept making little comments about how much money he had and what the bash had cost him etc... Nobody got stabbed, but he really wound me up.

[Wylie]

Our trio was hired by a local movie house to play before the film showed. We were to set up on the extremely small, high narrow stage and begin playing half an hour before showtime. Why so early? we asked the manager, thinking that most people don't show for the movies thirty minutes in advance. 'Why, you'll draw them in,' she said. 'And I'm putting you on our email list!'

'Our email list.' Fatal words. No one reads this movie house's email list.

So we set up and got playing, and played to a completely empty house for twenty minutes; then, ten minutes before showtime, people began coming in. At five till the hour, we had to unplug, break everything down and rush it out the back door.

We considered it practice; and because at the outset we'd agreed to play four times, we repeated the scenario three more times. Got free tickets to the movies.

Edited May 8, 2011 by tedgilley

[JTUK]

I am sure I have played some stinkers but can't really recall many
This one springs to mind though.

Old pro drummer for a chart topping act in the seventies had us play this pub for £75 as a 3 piece. The pub had 2 men and a dog in so the landlord offered to pay us off at half time for £60 which I wanted to jump at. The tool drummer made us play the full second set so we could get an extra £15 out of the landlord...so I made that 45mins work for £5.

To$$er..!!!

[Kiwi]

In terms of my own performance - OBBM saw it. I did a depping gig with a blues band called Soul Kitchen and had 2 weeks to learn 23 blues songs. Piece of piss you might say but they weren't straight forward old times blues songs, they included tricky Robben Ford numbers...blues without the I-IV-V-I progressions which totally stressed me out. I managed to get through it but the money covered fuel expenses and nothing else. Managed to put off a group of three guys breaking into my car while it was being loaded up too.

I swore never to dep again unless I knew at least half the set list.

Had other gigs where the punters weren't much fun for one reason or another but nothing that lost me sleep.

[bobbytodd]

my worst gig was when we played at a pub in millom cumbria that didnt have a single bouncer on.all was fine at first with a handfull of pretty ladies all dancing.then about half an hour into the night about twenty roid boys came in already pissed up.after a few songs all hell broke loose they for what ever reason all decided to take off their tops and start wrestling they knocked one stack of speakers over charged into the mike stand smashing thi mike into my mouth knocking out one of my front teeth and the singer ended up with a burst nose.when we refused to play on we were told we better phone the police cause they were gonna kick the sh*t out of us never been back to millom

[Lozz196]

Probably a gig I did in Birmingham in abt 91.

Was a Sunday night, the whole pub was empty, apart from the one bar staff. About half-way through the set, a 50-ish "traveller" lady came in, as drunk as it is possible to be, and started yelling "Rod Stewart, give us a song" in between each song - our singer had a somewhat husky voice.

The only upside was that she took a liking to him, and, ladies-man that he was, he really did not want any of it.

[Hobbayne]

I once played at a music pub in Watford. The front bar was rammed, but the music bar was empty apart from one pissed bloke who wanted "Proud Mary" and Brown Eyed Girl"
After a while even he walked out and we where playing to an empty room!
Eventualy the governer came in paid us and told us to f*** off! I,ve still no idea why??

[Grassie]

Not really as bad as some mentioned on this thread so far but:

1). First gig with a replacement singer, he did well to learn 30+ songs in two weeks, but when it came to the gig he forgot about 70% of the words and arrangements. Then his mum and her boyfriend started playing "tonsil hockey" in front of us as we were playing - that might have put him off a bit...

2). Our last gig together was at the end of last month, an annual event for us called Over The Edge, a motorbike rally here on the Isle of Wight. Imagine if you will around 1000 pissed up bikers in a large marquee. Now this was our 5th year of playing this event, all the punters are of a good nature, well up for some loud, good-time music, and we've never had an incident during those 5 years. Until a rather drunk, large lady either tripped over something or just lost her balance and smashed her head on the front of the stage, knocking her out cold. We were about two thirds of the way through our set when the organiser came on to shut us down until the ambulance arrived for her. We went back on some 30 minutes later to a half full marquee and an atmosphere like she'd died. She didn't and she recovered well, I'm pleased to add. But not the best ending to 6 years of gigging and good times...

[Doctor J]

Had the singer walk off stage and out the door halfway through a gig after an arguement with some punters while the rest of us were... well... let's say somewhat sedated and not fully capable of grasping entirely what was going on and so carried on regardless. That was pretty exciting, but it was the early 90s and we were just kids, things were different then.

More recently, played a gig where not only could the drummer not hear the vocals in the monitor but the mic lead was dodgy and the singer didn't address it, just tried to hold it in position so it worked rather than utilise one of the BV mics which were already on stage. We have a song with where the vocals are the cue back in after dead stops, very powerful and dynamic when it works, utterly embarassing when the mic lead craps out during both of them and the drummer, who can't watch the singer's mouth, comes in about half a second after the bass and guitar. What was already a truly crap experience became a genuine ground-please-open-up moment.

[kevin_lindsay]

Played a gig in Longriggend Remand Home - a prison for young offenders. That was rough!!!

[DanOwens]

Played drums in a band with 3 synths, 2 guitars, bass, kit and 2 vocals.

The venue had a 4-channel desk with only 2 inputs that worked.

[Low End Bee]

I played some council backed festival thing with my punk band back in 1980 at Talacre park in Kentish Town.
Lots of people there and we supported 23 Skidoo.
We played in some large garage like building with some shutters that opened on to the park. We were fairly in your face and had two singers who were taunting the boys in blue as it was a fairly edgy SPG and riots era. The power was turned off first. Then the crowd demanded it go back on again. Then the old bill wound the shutters down as we were playing and the two nutter singers propped them open with rapidly buckling mic stands. The shutters eventually came down and we got a bit of a slapping from the cops. They could do that in those days. Meanwhile my girlfriend went AWOL and ended up doing the dirty on me with the top of the bill bands guitarist that night.
All my money was nicked from my jacket backstage and I got caught bunking the fare on the tube on the way home.

Happy days.

[Ross]

Same club:
Part 1 - Just got a new bass, sounded great at practise through my gear, the organiser said we had to use their backline to save changing about and soundchecking between bands. Soon as I stepped on stage, all that could be heard was the E string, no other strings. And some of my parts are past the 12th fret. Managed to just about get through the gig with it and basically rewrote everything to be played on the E, took it to a luthier after, he said he fixed it.

Part 2 - Same club, same bass. Flat out didn't work this time, the other bands were mainly kids and weren't exactly forthcoming with lending me a bass.
Played 7 rocking originals, very bass driven, halfway through our 8th song the organiser had run to his shop and brought back a bass, just got back. Only thing that salvaged it is that half a last song and we had a huge spur of the moment jam for like 10 minutes at the end.

The second one was arguably worse, that night I'd gotten about 20 friends from school to come, mortifying playing a silent bassline

Edited May 9, 2011 by Ross

[purpleblob]

I remember two fairly bad gigs not sure which was the worst. I suppose they all turned out okay in the end but at the time were pretty bad.

I used to play with a heavy rock band in Leeds (we weren't half bad, drummer and guitarist were fantastic) and we got the chance to play backing band for a singer and keyboard player who worked the working men's club scene around Leeds, Bradford etc. We thought, why the hell not, always good to get some live performances in and earn a little money. Anyway we got our set list, old rock & roll numbers, more recent (for the time) numbers like Walking on the Moon etc. nothing to upsetting to play . Problem was the singer was dreadful.

We knew things weren't right early on, but we were the backing band, so we just tried our best.

One gig the agent got us was a more youth oriented pub, obviously they weren't that interested in the sort of music we played as it was targetted at a very different audience. Halfway through the first set the guitarist was getting stick for being "crap" (and this guy could play anyone under the table). Anyway got to the interval and the singer decided his throat was not good and was going to leave the gig and I think we were pushing the angle that playing our heavy rock covers set might save the day. So we got up on stage and played our heavy rock covers set list (without vocals), made it to the end of the gig and got paid (eventually, after some haggling). Guitarist got his revenge by walking into the crowd mid "Bark at the moon" solo (if I recall) and offering the loudest critique of his playing the chance to play guitar instead, suffice to say they changed their opinion of him pretty damn quick.

Nail in the coffin gig, was either Xmas eve or new years eve (or very near to both, cannot recall for sure). Working men's club hidden away and hard to find so we arrive later than intended and the place is packed to the rafters (few hundred people I think). No time for a proper sound check. We start playing and I cannot recall how far into the set we were but the singer's gear is feedbacking and the numpty turns it up. Anyway suffice to say the boo's start and get worse. We get to the interval and the compare comes across (really nice guy) and says "sorry guys I gotta pay you off" (who could blame him). Anyway, whilst that gig was bad the drummer was superb, he asks the compare if he can use the mic, apologises to the crowd and wishes them a happy new year (or xmas whichever it was). The keyboardists and singer leg it but myself the guitarist and drummer were welcomed for drinks by the people left.

That was the last gig that I recall doing with the singer, so I suppose it turned out well in the end

Edited May 9, 2011 by purpleblob

[Machines]

Pub gig we've played a few times before that had gone ok. This time we'd ended up on last (about 1030) when most people had gone and we'd had too many shandies because we were bored waiting to play.

We'd learnt 'Megadeth - In My Darkest Hour' and were playing it for the first time, it started off well but in the middle the guitarists got it wrong, the singer followed whilst me and the drummer were doing the right bit. It wasn't pretty. In fact, I just remembered we recorded it ! Here it is for your viewing displeasure:

[url="http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2xpb2_shattered-age-in-my-darkest-hour_music"]http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x2xpb2_sh...kest-hour_music[/url]

[Shawman]

played a gig here in dundee, sunday night at it's finest! we were playing last (about 11) so most people had already gone home, the other guys in the band were horrendously hungover so it generally lacked any energy. 2 songs in and the last people left, leaving only my girlfriend and the girl behind the bar...who closed the bar during the third song! could have been worse, but certainly something i could have done without seeing as i was working at 7 the next day

[Dave Vader]

Oh so many, including the promoter who booked us to play with a stand up, and for some reason put us on after the comedian, at an event that had been barely promoted, and certainly didn't mention an acoustic duo being on as well. Played to the bar, and the promoter. Barman thought it was as funny as we did luckily. Despite having been brought in as a mobile bar and making very little on the night.

Worst ever was being asked to stand in on guitar for a mate of mine, at a festival, supporting the Damned and the Stranglers and a bunch of other bands I really like. I was given a tape to learn their original songs (in fact write all the guitar parts as there weren't any) all the songs were at different speeds, so utilised the pitch control, overdubbed my parts, sent the tape back and got an okay for my parts from the guy.
Then we roll up at the gig, I get asked to tune the bass players bass (she was the singers gf, and the festival organisers daughter, this explains both her presence in the band, and the bands presence at the gig). The complimentary crate of lager helps me remain calm at this point.
We go on, and I discover that that tape is in fact their backing, not sequencers as I had assumed. I have to retune mid song on BOTH numbers they managed to get through, luckily the tiny 4-track they were using crapped out on the intro of the 3rd number. I was glad they asked us to leave the stage.
Despite having looked forward to spending the day at a festival I couldn't afford to go to otherwise, I didn't want to be recognised, so I legged it home pretty sharpish, such was the embarrassment.
Might well be the worst I think.

[Roland Rock]

There was a festival that we wanted to play, and we were told that there was a "two stage audition process", the first being at a pub in leicester. We were told that we need to be there to set up no later than 6. I was ill but didn't want to let the guys down, so hauled myself out of bed to get there for 6. It turned out that this "first audition" was a total farce, where the guy running the night had very little to do with the festival, and I suspect that he used this ploy to get gullible bands to play for free.
To add insult to injury, we went on at 11.20 after a hasty setup and no soundcheck, so I spent five hours sitting in a pub when I could have been resting at home. We played to two people.