Arriving, reflecting and departing - music for your funeral

[snorkie635]

Unfortunately, been at a few funerals in the last months. Noticed the way that music is used while the mourners assemble in the crematorium, during a middle section of the service where people are asked to reflect on the departed, and when they file out at the end. I've heard everything from Abba to Bob Dylan; classical to Sinatra; Clive Dunn to Bachman Turner Overdrive, and wondered what three pieces I'd pick for my own final gig. TBH, I still haven't been able to decide as there's just so much out there, but I wondered if anyone had already made their mind up and why they chose their tracks? I suppose it partly depends on what tone, type, style and impact you want your funeral to make.

 

Current thoughts are: arrival - Sweet Dreams by Roy Buchanan; reflection -Stranger on the Shore by Acker Bilk; file-out - Find the Cost of Freedom by Crosby, Stills and Nash.

 

 

[Jackroadkill]

Arrival - Seasons In The Abyss, by Slayer

Reflection - Lucretia, My Reflection by the Sisters of Mercy

File-out - The Evil Powers of Rock 'n' Roll by Supersuckers.

 

This may have all changed by tomorrow, but these are today's choices.

[Waddo Soqable]

When a mate's brother was cremated "Twisted Firestarter" was seriously suggested, the man himself would have thought it brilliant, but we had to consider the parent's feelings so had to give that idea a miss unfortunately. 

[Newfoundfreedom]

I'm going with Wipeout! 

[TimR]

The one thing I'm finding as a few of my friends and relatives who have died recently in their early 70s. 

 

The tunes are becoming less classical and more 60s based.

 

My aunt who died in Feb, had Daydream Believer played as we left the crem and my other friend who died in March; Little Wing. Which is a lovely song.

 

I think having a plan can't be a bad thing as I know from experience planning someone else's funeral and trying to work out what they, their friends and family would have liked or expect is extremely hard. 

 

The funerals of friends who have died of a long illness tend to have had good funerals. 

 

 

Edited August 12, 2023 by TimR

[Grahambythesea]

I had told my wife I wanted Alison Krauss’ “Away down the river” but I may change my mind. This probably wouldn’t leave a dry eye in the house.

 

 

[Little Dragon]

Won't Get Fooled Again-The Who,

My Way-Sid Vicious,

Impossible Dream- CarterUSM.

[SuperSeagull]

Arrival - Rachmaninov Piano Concerto No 2 in C Minor from about 6:30 in (My Mum had it for her funeral and it would honour her)

Reflection - some of The Great Gig In The Sky from Pink Floyd

Departing - Good Old Sussex By The Sea, the marching song of the Royal Sussex Regiment which is played at every Brighton and Hove Albion home game

 

 

[ahpook]

I don't mind. I'd rather the people there chose the music - then it'll be music that reminds them of me.

 

Funerals aren't for the dead, after all.

Edited August 12, 2023 by ahpook

[Lozz196]

In my younger years I had thoughts of Gotta Getaway by Stiff Little Fingers being played at my funeral to inject a bit of humour but now I think I’d like my favourite song, Seasons in The Sun by Terry Jacks played.

[Geek99]

3 minutes ago, Lozz196 said:

In my younger years I had thoughts of Gotta Getaway by Stiff Little Fingers being played at my funeral to inject a bit of humour but now I think I’d like my favourite song, Seasons in The Sun by Terry Jacks played.

I’d go for “I still haven’t found what I’m looking for” as it would undoubtedly be true 

… still

inxs - don’t lose your head as it has an awesome bassline 

inxs again - beautiful girl, for my partner, not just because of the title but because the lyric speaks. Hutch was a very sharp observer 

[Geek99]

After I posted that i realised that I may actually need to write this down on my list, the reason for my bradycardia is that I only have three working heart chambers and one is working overtime to cover for the duff one. Awaiting an appt following referral to cardiology 

 

hope I get time to master fretless before I join the choir invisible, 40 or 50 years should suffice at my current breakneck rate of improvement 

[SH73]

Can I play with Madness- Iron Maiden

Chemical Wedding- Bruce Dickinson 

Run to the Hills- iron Maiden 

[Velarian]

What a great subject for a thread. 
 

I’ve given this a little thought but not fully formed the final selection. One track I’d love to be played is “Close to Home” by Lyle Mays, probably as the file out but it’s over six minutes long and the way it ends is something I’d like everyone to hear, so it’s likely that most wouldn’t hear it. Perhaps it should be the reflection but is it too long for that? I know many funerals are a bit of a time-limited conveyor belt so I suspect it may too long for that. Thinking about that I’d rather the music be played instead of people spouting platitudes because that’s what is expected. 
 

For the rest of it, I’m thinking Elgar’s nimrod played by the Grimethorpe Colliery band and probably Praise by the Pat Metheny Group.

 

So, if this would work in the usual funeral format, it would be: -

 

Arrival: Nimrod, Elgar

Reflection: Close to Home, Lyle Mays

File-out: Praise, Pat Metheny Group

 

 

 

 

[Jackroadkill]

I've just remembered some very subtle yet superb beyond-the-grave trolling that was done to the mourners at my friend Barry's funeral; Barry was a keyboard player of some local repute, and he always wanted Layla to be played at the end his funeral, so when he died (very suddenly; he sat down in his armchair one night and died immediately) his widow carried out that request.  As the service finished, Layla was played.  The full version.  We all stood there like lemons, waiting for ages as that bloody piano part played for what seemed like aeons, and those of us who knew Barry well had a chuckle on his behalf.

[LowB_FTW]

I've never thought about this in the 'Arriving, reflecting and departing' steps, so the 'Arriving' and 'Departing' sections are still empty, but for the 'Reflecting' I want You'll Have Time by William Shatner.

This is what I've wanted at my funeral since I first heard it. The wife is aware as are all my closest friends.

 

A quick tip for those unfamiliar with it, if you just look up the lyrics you'll not get the full nuance of the track, so if you're going to look it up, go for the actual song and not just the words.

 

Mark

[Cosmo Valdemar]

I know my Dad wants this:

 

 

I haven't given my own departure too much thought but I know I want this played at some point:

 

 

[Dan Dare]

Not up to me. Funerals are for the living. Whatever they want to hear.

[FinnDave]

I'd probably opt for a live version of Dark Star, rarely less than 20 minutes long. That'll teach them!

[woodyratm]

My wife’s dads was entertaining (musically). Walking in was stuff like the bare necessities, born to run etc.

 

At the end, he insisted he wanted firestarter (he was being cremated), run like hell (to tell

everyone to bugger off) and schools out (again to say it was done). 
 

He was a great guy. We Miss him. 

[theplumber]

Either Living In A Box or Going Underground will do me!!

[MichaelDean]

Ok, we can start with The Light by The Album Leaf. 

 

Then, let's get them bawling with some Sigur Rós. Hoppípolla ought to do it. 

 

And then they can leave to Do You Realize? by The Flaming Lips to end. 

[mr4stringz]

May such a day be long off for us all. Here’s mine - 
 

Tom Waits - Time

 

Warren Zevon - Keep Me in Your Heart

 

Israel Kamakawiwo’ole - Somewhere Over The Rainbow

 

 

[dmccombe7]

I've thought about this over the years and haven't settled on any specific songs for entrance and leave but the reflection part was down to these 2

I did think Camel Fox Hill just for the very last word in the song right at the end so i put it on the bottom here. Its a bit long at 8mins tho.

Entry would be good to have something from Genesis Seconds Out album, maybe Suppers Ready 

Dave

 

 

 

 

[Baloney Balderdash]

 

 

Edited November 10, 2023 by Baloney Balderdash