Marvin Posted October 12, 2011 Share Posted October 12, 2011 I've read a couple of posts lately advising not to leave a band, even if it is a bad one, without having something else in place. Understandable advice, we all want to be out there strutting our stuff rather than being stuck trawling through JoinMyBand et al and the infinite number of 13yr old guitarists who only want to play Thrash and Doom. As someone who it would seem is about to jump ship, surely there comes a point where a band just doesn't work and you should walk away. In my case, band together 9 months. I've never been convinced we've 'worked' musically. We've only had four gigs, but 3 have been of what I consider a very low standard. After our last gig there was a very tense 'chat' about it and things were said, don't think I need go any further on that . Personally I was very annoyed to find out by chance that 2 members (our singer is off doing a mini tour with their other band) had cancelled practice this week and didn't have the manners to tell me. One of the reasons I've not jumped, is I read the posts about finding something else first.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrismuzz Posted October 12, 2011 Share Posted October 12, 2011 (edited) Personally mate, I would leave. Spend your time doing/playing something more productive I was sans band for about 6 months last year after being in a situation similar to yours. I found that just being in the band put me in the frame of mind where playing bass was a ball ache, and something i HAD to do rather than something i wanted to do. Also paying studio rental every month just to keep re-learning 'new versions' of the same bloody songs over and over, and barely getting any gigs was just a waste of time and money! After I left, I actually stopped playing altogether for about a month, but when i went back to the bass it became fun all over again! I didn't bother looking for a new band as I felt I didn't really need to be in one at the time. It was only when I noticed that a friend of mine's band had just lost their bassist that I thought about it, and discovered I was ready again. My love affair with the bass has been getting saucier ever since Something will come along eventually, us bass players are a rare breed! Edited October 12, 2011 by chrismuzz Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skidder652003 Posted October 12, 2011 Share Posted October 12, 2011 us bass players are a rare breed! +1 theres always ads for bass players out there! [url="http://www.lemonrock.com"]www.lemonrock.com[/url] is a good example. I ended up forming a band myself to play the style i wanted and found the people I liked rather than the other way round. Dont whatever you do just stay in a band cos you're worried about not being in one - you'll just stay unhappy! Something is always waiting round the corner Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lozz196 Posted October 12, 2011 Share Posted October 12, 2011 I think the only time I`d stay in a band would be if the music was so good I simply couldn`t bear to not be playing it. I`ve stayed in bands too long before, and no good has ever come of it. There is also the point that sometimes, possible opportunities don`t arise, if people think you are settled in a band, so leaving, and declaring yourself on the market could be good. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrismuzz Posted October 12, 2011 Share Posted October 12, 2011 [quote name='Lozz196' timestamp='1318399687' post='1401538'] There is also the point that sometimes, possible opportunities don`t arise, if people think you are settled in a band, so leaving, and declaring yourself on the market could be good. [/quote] Strangely it's always been the opposite for me! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amnesia Posted October 12, 2011 Share Posted October 12, 2011 Leave. In what way does it make sense to continue being in a band because you don't have another one ready to go? The only way that makes sense is it if pays you bills. If you can get along without the extra money, its just not worth the ballache and stress. I suppose every situation is different, but I sure as hell wouldn't stay with a band if it sucked. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wateroftyne Posted October 12, 2011 Share Posted October 12, 2011 If the band pays, and you need the money, don't leave unless it's going to drive you mental. Otherwise, throw the towel in, and head onwards and upwards... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gary mac Posted October 12, 2011 Share Posted October 12, 2011 Given how you feel about it and the general low standard, walk away. Life's too short. I did the same earlier this year, not because the standard was low, it was actually very good but other reasons were preventing us from progressing. I had realised this right from the start but kept at it, hoping the situation would improve. It didn't and was never likely to, so I did what I should have done a year earlier and left. Had a break from playing for a few weeks and then did some depps and started the search for another band. Someone actually found me a few weeks later. Like someone else mentioned, we are a rare breed. I cam remember that I did find it frustrating with Join my band and other sites, there are an awful lot of bedroom rockers and also middle aged blokes with all the gear, who want to kick up a din once a week every week for ever and ever but not actually gig, Also the band that have got the EP recorded, just waiting for George Martin to find a gap in his diary to mix it down for them.and blah blah ..............but there are some decent ones out there and one of them will need you Good luck with it whatever you decide. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doctor J Posted October 12, 2011 Share Posted October 12, 2011 Get out now. Sometimes having a bit of breathing space away from it all isn't a bad thing. I stuck it out with my last crew long after it stopped being fun and it was a mistake. Eventually, enough sh*t happened to make me put and end to it and, to be honest, I've been delighted with the decision. I'm a lot happier at the moment just writing and recording at home and getting my chops back in order than I was throughout the last year of the band - to the extent that I've no real desire to seek out another band at the moment. Once it stops being fun, get out of there. Opportunity will present itself in the future if you choose to look for it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jackers Posted October 12, 2011 Share Posted October 12, 2011 i agree that you should probably just walk away. afterall, it sounds like something you are doing this for enjoyment rather than money, and if that is the case then there really isn't any point in staying with them just to be in a band. If you aren't having fun and enjoying practices and gigs then it's not worth the large amount of hassle. I had the same situation with my last band, and sure enough a few weeks after I left I got a message from a band with some awesome sounding songs, asking me to come try out Hope it all goes well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thisnameistaken Posted October 12, 2011 Share Posted October 12, 2011 I left my band in June without another gig lined up. We'd been recording our second EP and the process brought home some of the shortcomings that I didn't think were likely to improve, so I decided to move on. I didn't see any point continuing just for the sake of it, even though I liked the songs and liked my bandmates. Got a couple of things in the pipeline now but in the mean time I've been working harder on learning the double bass and coming up with ideas for new songs, which I might not have had time for if I'd still been doing the band, so it's all good. I say if your mind is made up then leave, and let them get on with finding someone new ASAP. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monckyman Posted October 12, 2011 Share Posted October 12, 2011 ah sh*t, I was trying to post a clip of 4 lions "follow your heart bro, listen to what your heart tells you" and ended up watching all the clips and pissing meself again. If the band is negatively affectiing your state of mind, tis better to leave now so you may replenish your enthusiasm for all things bass (except 5er dingwalls) and arise from the ashes of this like a Phoenix resplendent. You don`t want to be waiting in the queue of life Bro, you want to be on the rides, Rubber dinghy rapids! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KevB Posted October 12, 2011 Share Posted October 12, 2011 In my case I tend not to seriously look at other options until I actually leave a band so for me it's pretty much essential to make the break before starting a new project. If it takes several months for something that I'm genuinely interested in to come along then so be it, there are open mic/jam/dep sessions to keep me ticking over playing wise while between gigs and I'm not that desperate for the money. Nothing worse than being in a project you don't feel committed to. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Vader Posted October 12, 2011 Share Posted October 12, 2011 Your family will thank you for leaving before you have another project. You will be less moany (or so my wife says). Off the top of my head I can think of a few pubs you can go into round North Devon way and usually by the end of the night you will have joined a band with somebody. I also know of a band in Okehampton looking for a bass player (I am actively avoiding them as I know some of the guys of old, they are not good). But it would be a gig... you would hate it. Better off going first if it's doing your head in that much, if it's still a chuckle and you can put up with the sh*t it's worth sticking it out, but if it's not then go my son, go.... RUbber Dinghy Rapids.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ahpook Posted October 12, 2011 Share Posted October 12, 2011 leave. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
burno70 Posted October 12, 2011 Share Posted October 12, 2011 What are you waiting for? Your not convinced that the band is working musically anyway, some members have other commitments and the other members didn't have the decency to tell you they cancelled a rehearsal (that immediately suggests that they don't value you!). I left a band after a mostly good 6 years. I loved the other band members but my heart wasn't in the music anymore. I needed a fresh challenge. I didn't have any irons in the fire and no back up plan. I posted an ad on joinmyband. Within a couple of days I had at least 4 contacts. Two of which were excellent options. I chose the one most interesting to me and haven't looked back. Considering I had been umming and 'rrring about a move for ages I just wished I'd done it sooner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flyfisher Posted October 12, 2011 Share Posted October 12, 2011 If you're getting nothing out of being in the band then, almost by definition, you're wasting your time when you could be doing something else you enjoy. I entirely agree with previous comments about staying if it's a money-earner (much like you would stay in a disliked job until another one can be found because bills have to be paid) but otherwise I'd leave. But there's no real rights or wrongs in such matters, just do what you feel most comfortable with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chris_b Posted October 12, 2011 Share Posted October 12, 2011 [quote name='Marvin' timestamp='1318398260' post='1401530'] ....As someone who it would seem is about to jump ship, surely there comes a point where a band just doesn't work and you should walk away.... [/quote] Depends how good or bad the band is and what the problems are. I'm in a band that have messed me about a lot this year to the point that one more "thing" happens and I go. The final straw was when they cancelled a gig and didn't bother to let me know! But they are one of the better bands that I play with and I like the playing so much that I've put up with the crap. If you don't have any plus points then I'd suggest you go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigRedX Posted October 12, 2011 Share Posted October 12, 2011 Leave, leave now! You shouldn't have any problems finding a new band. I'm a very average musician, live in a place that is hardly a hotbed of musical activity, and have fairly strict ideas about what sorts of music I want to be involved with, but I've never had a problem finding good and reliable musicians to be in a band with. If I can do it just about anyone can. I've also found that a couple of weeks off before looking for another band can do wonders for focusing your musical ideas and appetite. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JTUK Posted October 12, 2011 Share Posted October 12, 2011 [quote name='wateroftyne' timestamp='1318402618' post='1401554'] If the band pays, and you need the money, don't leave unless it's going to drive you mental. [/quote] This... but only if money is the defintive factor, not part of it. Otherwise, get out quick. It isn't working, never seemed likely to and is never getting better. What do you need to stay for...? If you spend the hours watching new bands that you spent on this old band, you could quickly find an new scene locally. Get out there and make friends... and talk amongst all the local muso's..you'll be surprised how many aren't doing anything...and you'll need to sort this wheat from the chaff as well, but make new contacts and don't be beholden to mates who waste your time musically..or anyone else either. NETWORK............. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thunderbird13 Posted October 12, 2011 Share Posted October 12, 2011 I've been in your position so many times , and if like me you only do it for fun then there's no point in hanging round. By the sounds of it the band is going nowhere so there's nothing to be gained from staying with them. Are you friendly with any of the members or is it the usual thing of only communicating when you in the rehersal studio ? Its the only way you can salvage something. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skankdelvar Posted October 12, 2011 Share Posted October 12, 2011 (edited) Singer off on tour with his other outfit. Other members cancelling rehearsals. Not being unkind or anything, but is there actually a band for you to leave? Don't get into one with them. Go and do some other stuff and wait for this lot to call you. See how you feel then. Edited October 12, 2011 by skankdelvar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EdwardHimself Posted October 12, 2011 Share Posted October 12, 2011 My advice would just be to leave. It's not really worth being in a band just for the sake of being "in a band" if you don't like it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
algmusic Posted October 12, 2011 Share Posted October 12, 2011 If you're not enjoying it and not getting paid.. Stop.. life is too short. Quit, and find something else and in the meantime, practice at some play in a jam session I only do gigs that I hate that are paid and if I want/need the money, or I don't do it. Bands are like pets: some live long, others don't. Don't carry around a died fish or you'll smell Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BottomE Posted October 12, 2011 Share Posted October 12, 2011 Get out - lifes too short. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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