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Inappropriate requests


Mickeyboro

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35 minutes ago, MacDaddy said:

 

I once saw a Coldplay tribute band (not intentionally) and the best reaction they got was when they played 'I believe in a thing called love ' by The Darkness 😕

Our 80s band:

Punter "Do you do any Coldplay?"

 

Drummer "No, but I think I stepped in some once."

 

His finest hour. 

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I've taken to putting bright blue nail polish on the middle finger of my right hand especially to show people who ask for any songs at all.

They'll get what they're given, and if they don't like it I can show them my blue-polished middle finger again...

 

IMG_20230716_161444.jpg

Edited by Leonard Smalls
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3 hours ago, Jackroadkill said:

I used to roadie for a Stones tribute band, and the amount of times we were asked for Beatles songs was ridiculous.

 

 

 

Edited by nikon F
beaten to it by others
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Playing in a local pub very near Christmas, a blues band I was in had the place jumping. Out from the audience cane that well-known drunk woman (although it has been known for a man to take on this role). "Your band's sh*te", exclaimed the maiden " and you have ruined my fu**ing Christmas with the p*sh you play." I believe she is auditioning for the next available 'Bond Girl' part and appearing in a cinema near you soon. And a merry Christmas to all our readers. 😁

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1 hour ago, snorkie635 said:

Playing in a local pub very near Christmas, a blues band I was in had the place jumping. Out from the audience cane that well-known drunk woman (although it has been known for a man to take on this role). "Your band's sh*te", exclaimed the maiden " and you have ruined my fu**ing Christmas with the p*sh you play." I believe she is auditioning for the next available 'Bond Girl' part and appearing in a cinema near you soon. And a merry Christmas to all our readers. 😁

Yeeaah, um, I have kinda been that plssed up bloke a couple of times.. 

One springs to mind, i was ( uncharacteristically) off me face at someone's gig, the band were a bit shlte too (in my defence).. The singer btw had a classic "porn 'tache" which did look kind of ridiculous.. Anyway in the gaps between every song I was repeatedly hollering   "FREDDIE MERCURY..!"  at the top of me voice (which can be quite loud anyway)... You could tell he was getting rattled, but surprisingly none of his compadres, or venue staff, tried to lamp me or throw me out, perhaps the big mohican hair do I had at the time saved me, who knows.. 

Amusingly (to me) much of the audience were Gothy types, and they were tut-tutting like proper old middle aged Mary Whitehouses too... Nobs... 

Anyway confession is good for the soul, and honest, I won't do it again, probably.. 

Edited by Waddo Soqable
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The most inappropriate request(s) I recall:


Drunkard: Give us a go on your bass!

Me: No, p**s off!
Drunkard: Give us a go on your piano!

Pianist: No, p**s off!

Drunkard: Give us a go on your drums!
Drummer: No, p**s off!

Drunkard: Give us a go on your sax!

Saxophonist: No, p**s off!

Drunkard: *dances wildly for a few minutes then succumbs to the drink and falls over*

 

It turned out that the drunkard was a lecturer at a well-known English university.

Edited by knirirr
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11 hours ago, knirirr said:

The most inappropriate request(s) I recall:


Drunkard: Give us a go on your bass!

Me: No, p**s off!
Drunkard: Give us a go on your piano!

Pianist: No, p**s off!

Drunkard: Give us a go on your drums!
Drummer: No, p**s off!

Drunkard: Give us a go on your sax!

Saxophonist: No, p**s off!

Drunkard: *dances wildly for a few minutes then succumbs to the drink and falls over*

 

It turned out that the drunkard was a lecturer at a well-known English university.

Given your location, which Cambridge College was it? 😆

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I've been told off for my soundcheck being to play 80s melodies on my bass (Take on Me, Wherever I Lay my Hat) and singing the first few lines of "we didn't start the fire" as a mic check in case someone requests those songs!

 

If someone requests a song from our wider list, we play it. We once had a larger lady request our version of "Hot me baby one more time" and promised us something special. As we played it she then launched into a half-gymnastic half dirty dance routine resulting in her doing the splits at the front. Some of that dance was inappropriate.

 

We often get asked for songs way out of genre or that we just don't play. It's the anger and upset it causes when we say No that I just can't fathom.

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I know this isn’t exactly what was asked for, but…

 

This was while working with a mobile disco. 
 

We did a huge Christmas gig at a very posh/expensive hotel, for 300+ Travellers (gypsies). The boss had decided to do the lights (it was normally my job. He was useless at it), which left me taking the requests. There weren’t any that were inappropriate, but when taking requests from the kids, if the song was not played immediately, they’d start shouting that their dad will “Kick my fookin’ ‘ead in!”. Which I felt was inappropriate…

 

We did a corporate Christmas gig that had this one bloke who appeared to have turned up drunk and got pister n pister*… No one would go near him. He was demanding UB40, and his request got more and more menacing as the evening wore on. He was getting really angry and I was having to deal with him (I was only 16). Eventually the DJ took pity on me and played a UB40 song, which cleared the dance floor. This bloke stood in the middle of the dance floor and went nut! He had a very long scarf that, when hung around his neck, both ends brushed the floor. He started flinging this scarf around, and used it to rip ALL of the Christmas decorations off the ceiling!

As soon as the song finished he asked for another UB40 song!

 

*Sorry, that’s an in-joke, just ignore it.

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10 minutes ago, KingBollock said:

I . He was demanding UB40, and his request got more and more menacing as the evening wore on.

Have just seen a version of UB40 supporting the Who. You could not have murdered the song as thoroughly as they did their set!

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The best one I ever had was during a gig with my old jazz-fusion trio at a jazz venue in Bristol. We had just finished a John Scofield tune and were about to launch into another 10-minute instrumental epic when this I've-had-one-alcopop-too-many student-type came up to me. "Do you do Iron Man by Black Sabbath?" he asked. I looked at him incredulously. "Do we sound like the sort of band that does Iron Man by Black Sabbath?" I replied with a laugh.
We launched into the aforementioned instrumental epic, at the end of which there he was again. "Do you know Iron Man by Black Sabbath?" he asked. "No we bloody don't", I replied somewhat testily. I wandered away from him to try to signal that the exchange was definitely ended and we dived into another lengthy widdle.
At the end, yup, there he was again. "Why won't you play Iron Man?" he demanded. I gave him my very best Paddington Bear Hard Stare. "Oh come on, you must know it!" he said. "Mate," I said in a firm this-conversation-is-over tone, "just f*** off, ok?".
Thankfully, he got the message and did in fact f*** off. I'm pretty sure he was only doing it for a laugh anyway. Perhaps his pathetic mates put him up to it.
(I wouldn't normally tell a punter to sex-&-travel, but this gimboid was seriously getting on my toot.)

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