Band's keys player "wants to play bass on a few songs...." Alarm bells?

[SteveXFR]

Is this better or worse than a drunk punter at a gig coming up and asking to play guitar with you for a song? 

I think it possibly is just because Mrs keys should know better and is (I assume) sober.

[snorkie635]

3 hours ago, solo4652 said:

Drummer  - her husband - is band leader.

You're snared then.

[TimR]

Alternatively, agree to let her play a few tunes in the first set. 

 

Pop to the bar and have a pint while she plays said songs.

 

Then leave the venue for the evening. 

[JapanAxe]

At least insist she brings her own bass so that she’s familiar with it.

Then slyly detune it before her star turn [optional].

[AndyTravis]

There’s only one answer…

 

 

[mcnach]

On 24/12/2023 at 13:48, solo4652 said:

I play in a good 5-piece pub covers band. Drummer's wife plays keys - sort of. She has bought a bass and at last night's gig she told me she wanted to play bass "on a few songs" next year. Hmmm....

 

She can want from here until the moon. It doesn't mean she'll get it

 

Obviously I don't know your band's dynamics. In any of mine if someone wanted to play bass on a song, really wanted it, sure, we're the accommodating type. But she sounds like she wants to do more than that. What does the rest of the band say?

[Mickeyboro]

On 24/12/2023 at 13:48, solo4652 said:

Drummer's wife plays keys - sort of

This to me says Linda McCartney. 
 

Wonder why she never tried bass?

 

😂

[mcnach]

On 24/12/2023 at 15:11, NoRhino said:

What will you be doing during her bass songs?  If you'll be singing lead vocal or playing another instrument it can add a different dynamic for a couple of songs.  If she doesn't need or want you to do anything but leave the stage kill the idea stone dead now.  

 

This.

 

As a part of an arrangement where various band members' skills are reshuffled to achieve a goal, why not. As a 'fun thing' that she wants to do... Don't even open that door a crack. It'll be hard to close it.

[mcnach]

On 24/12/2023 at 15:56, badger said:

say yes, but only if you can play the drums.

 

Ooooh, I like your thinking! 

 

[bassbiscuits]

Worth seeing what the drummer / bandleader thinks of this. We are assuming he is supportive of her idea, but he might be tired of hearing about it too. 
 

I very much doubt she’d play bass as well as the actual bass player, so then it comes down to whether the bandleader/ husband

/wife are happy for the music to be worse quality for the sake of appeasing her, in which case you’re better off out anyway. 
 

Hard to know from the OP how serious or determined she is about it, or whether it’s just a nice idea that’s come to mind etc. I’ve swapped with guitar/bass/vocals in bands before for one or two songs and it didn’t bother me as I was clearly the better bassist.

 

Might as well try and sound out what she and her husband want from this, rather than assuming the worst and walking out. 

 

If they want you as the bassist I’m sure they’ll be able to say so. If they actually want to shoehorn her in on bass it’s best you find out straight. 
 

Hope it works out either way. 

 

Edited December 25, 2023 by bassbiscuits

[bass_dinger]

22 hours ago, solo4652 said:

She's a good trombone player, but a poor keys player.

 

It seems a shame that she wants to try bass, when:

 

1. She is already a poor keys player (and is likely to become a poor bass player, at least to start with 

 

2. She is a good trombone player (surely a  better fit in a band that wants another instrumentalist, and wants to showcase the lady musician).

 

3. You have already done the heavy lifting, by learning the songs creating arrangements that work for the band, and turning up to rehearsals.

 

Be direct, and ask if the intention is that she will replace you. Tell them that you would feel a bit "spare" if she was playing bass, even for a few songs.

[BigAlonBass]

The above thread is the exact reason I never played with a "couple" in a Band.  NEVER! 

I've actually turned up at 'auditions' been introduced to the Band Members, and as soon as I heard "This is my (Significant Other) or "We run the Band" my Bass never even left its Case, I didn't even engage in conversation, and I walked out. Life's too short for KNOWING there are going to be problems before you even start, so discretion is always the better part of valour in any simillar situation .

I am not alone in sharing experiences of this situation in the past, as it seems to rear its ugly head on a regular basis.

As a matter of fact, the moment she said "I want to play Bass" I would have been gone. No ifs, buts or maybes. 

Take it from me, the Band is going to split within 6 months or so, as this is only the thin end of the wedge. What other 'bright ideas' do they have in the pipeline?

I wouldn't be hanging around to find out...

YMMV, but I doubt it. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Beedster]

14 minutes ago, BigAlonBass said:

The above thread is the exact reason I never played with a "couple" in a Band.  NEVER! 

I've actually turned up at 'auditions' been introduced to the Band Members, and as soon as I heard "This is my (Significant Other) or "We run the Band" my Bass never even left its Case, I didn't even engage in conversation, and I walked out. Life's too short for KNOWING there are going to be problems before you even start, so discretion is always the better part of valour in any simillar situation .

I am not alone in sharing experiences of this situation in the past, as it seems to rear its ugly head on a regular basis.

As a matter of fact, the moment she said "I want to play Bass" I would have been gone. No ifs, buts or maybes. 

Take it from me, the Band is going to split within 6 months or so, as this is only the thin end of the wedge. What other 'bright ideas' do they have in the pipeline?

I wouldn't be hanging around to find out...

YMMV, but I doubt it. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Come on mate, tell us what you really think 😆

 

Kinda agree though 👍

[steantval]

I had a similar thing many years ago with a married couple, although both of them were not in our band.

Chris was our drummer and a really nice guy, but his wife was a mouthy old dragon who ruled the roost and was very opinionated.

When he first joined us, she would come to every gig, it was like having a sixth member of the band, always poking her nose in and criticising, it really came to a head and the band gave him an ultimatum that he would not bring her to gigs or we find another drummer, we didn’t see her any more and Chris continued to play with us.

Chris was definitely more relaxed at gigs with her not there, he ended up divorcing her and I played in two other bands with him, sadly he was killed in a motorcycle accident a few years ago.

Edited December 25, 2023 by steantval

[Dan Dare]

2 hours ago, Mickeyboro said:

This to me says Linda McCartney. 
 

Wonder why she never tried bass?

 

😂

 

She's been working down to it. Tried all the other instruments and couldn't hack it and finally thinks "everyone can play bass, even me".

 

Edit to add: Just realised you were probably wondering about why Linda M never tried , rather than the woman in the OP's band (which is who my comment was aimed at).

 

 

Edited December 25, 2023 by Dan Dare

[Dan Dare]

1 hour ago, BigAlonBass said:

The above thread is the exact reason I never played with a "couple" in a Band.  NEVER! 

I've actually turned up at 'auditions' been introduced to the Band Members, and as soon as I heard "This is my (Significant Other) or "We run the Band" my Bass never even left its Case, I didn't even engage in conversation, and I walked out. Life's too short for KNOWING there are going to be problems before you even start, so discretion is always the better part of valour in any similar situation .

I am not alone in sharing experiences of this situation in the past, as it seems to rear its ugly head on a regular basis.

As a matter of fact, the moment she said "I want to play Bass" I would have been gone. No ifs, buts or maybes. 

Take it from me, the Band is going to split within 6 months or so, as this is only the thin end of the wedge. What other 'bright ideas' do they have in the pipeline?

I wouldn't be hanging around to find out...

YMMV, but I doubt it. 

 

I fear you're correct. Like you, I avoid couples in bands like the plague. Suggest that one might change or improve something and the other is in your face, etc.

[TimR]

2 hours ago, Mickeyboro said:

This to me says Linda McCartney. 
 

Wonder why she never tried bass?

 

😂

 

She probably saw what happened to the Beatles when Yoko wanted to sing BV.

[Lozz196]

And probably heard it too…..

[Skybone]

Did the keyboard player say this to just the OP, or was it in front of any other band members?

 

Is it worth discussing at the next rehearsal session?

[tauzero]

23 hours ago, neepheid said:

Maybe the OP can do a straight swap and play some keys while she's playing bass so maybe it's a moot point.  But in my world, that's someone taking my role in the band leaving me with hee haw to do.  I'm not having that.

 

If it's a good band, but she's a poor keys player, maybe it would be improved by getting her off keys. Can't understand how it can be a good band with a poor keys player though.

Edited December 25, 2023 by tauzero

[TimR]

Plot twist...

 

...she joins BassChat.

[Downunderwonder]

...we get a Twisted Sister...

 

[paul_5]

“Can I borrow your amp? Do you have a spare lead?”

 

 this way madness lies. And not n a good way.

[Skybone]

12 hours ago, paul_5 said:

“Can I borrow your amp? Do you have a spare lead?”

 

 this way madness lies. And not n a good way.

"Mind if I use your bass"

[White Cloud]

This is simple 'all or nothing' situation: what do the other members want? 

 

If they want her to proceed then insist she play bass on every song and leave. 

 

Everyone must get exactly what they want ... and own the consequences.

Edited December 27, 2023 by White Cloud