krth1985 Posted March 1, 2011 Share Posted March 1, 2011 I dont want to come across as moaning, and being ungrateful, but (!) there's a few things niggling away at me and i get in the mood where i think i should leave because being in the band is just not fun anymore. Here's my reasons. - No camaraderie. Not at rehearsals, or at a gig. Feels like 5 individuals, not 1 band. -Singer and lead guitarist saying drummer is too loud. I dont agree. In small venues he will be loud, theres no volume knob on the drums. Yet this is always brought up, and the drummer cant get through to them that he doesnt play loud, drums are just a loud instrument. He does have something which he puts on his shells to dampen the sound slightly (big plastic rings?) - Too much negativity. Constantly being told at soundcheck before gigs that we sound sh*t (by singer). That we "murder" this song and that. Also I feel like i am being watched and my performance monitored. After every gig there is an email that goes out. 99% of it is negative. - Too much pressure. Lead guitarist constantly going on about stage presence and we need to move about more. Its not my thing, and i'd feel awkward doing it. Plus, we are not that type of band. Plus its hard to enjoy yourself after the above comment. Also comments on dynamics. Gives each part of a song a rating out of 10 for dynamics. What the difference between 7 or 8 is i dont know... - Timekeeping. Singer is always late. For both rehearsals and gigs. Not by 5 or ten minutes, but by 30 minutes plus. Last gig we did was friday. We needed to be there early to soundcheck. Everyone was down there for 6pm. I didnt finish work till 6 so said i'd be down for 7. After a long 12 hour day at the end of the week not ideal, but i rushed around, got my stuff together and i was there for 7. Singer rolls in 30-40 minutes after me. - Arguments over upcoming EP. We are finishing off the 4 track EP this weekend. The songs were decided without me (i had to work but put forward my choice of 4 or 5 songs). After everyone else met up with the producer they all decided on 4 songs, 3 of which i had hoped to do anway so all was good. Now as of last week the signer kicks up a fuss about the new lyrics for one of the tracks. I said i wasnt involved in the final decision making process, so why didnt u say something then? He shrugged. I said who actually voted for the song? Turns out only me and the lead guitarist. So i said why are we recording it then? I then pointed out that we have tracked demos for these songs, and the producer is expecting us to do this song. Saying your not happy about the song a week before we enter the studio is pointless. His reply was "f*** it, we will just do it". So we will all be recording this song knowing that the singer isnt bothered about it. - Appreciation for the promoter/soundman/other bands etc - He never says thanks to so and so for playing, or thanks to promoter for putting on this gig, or thanks to the fans for coming to see us, or thanks to said band for letting us on the bill with them. When we brought it up he said "if someone wants to say something they should get a mic." - The booking of gigs. The singer thinks some of the gigs we do "turn off potential fans". These are your usual 4 band line-up at a venue thats established for live music. - but yet tried booking us to play a 60th birthday party? We are not a covers band by the way. He also refused to book gigs now because "knobody gets back to him". By that he means he agrees to a gig thinking everyone will be ok with it and gets pissed off when someone says they cant make it. - Band website - It was agreed a few months ago that I would re-design the website as it looked sh*te basically. I am in no way a professional, but i did 2 years of it at college, (and ran my own websites after leaving college for a bit of pocket money) and and i am proficient enough to come up with a decent website. The next day, the website had changed again. I now no longer give out our website address! and -Singers vocals. Really grates on me now. I'm not much of a fan of Oasis, but he is. Can you tell? (but i dont think i can count that as a reason) Does this sound like a happy functioning band? Or a band that will soon implode? Or is it just me nit picking???? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JPS Posted March 1, 2011 Share Posted March 1, 2011 To be fair it doesn't sound like there's much about the band you're enjoying so I reckon in your heart of hearts you know the answer already. Not always an easy decision though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marvin Posted March 1, 2011 Share Posted March 1, 2011 It is rather a long list of things that seem to be making you unhappy with the band. Always a difficult decision to pack it in though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lowdown Posted March 1, 2011 Share Posted March 1, 2011 [quote name='krth1985' post='1145919' date='Mar 1 2011, 03:41 PM']I dont want to come across as moaning, and being ungrateful, but (!) there's a few things niggling away at me and i get in the mood where i think i should leave because being in the band is just not fun anymore. Here's my reasons. - No camaraderie. Not at rehearsals, or at a gig. Feels like 5 individuals, not 1 band. -Singer and lead guitarist saying drummer is too loud. I dont agree. In small venues he will be loud, theres no volume knob on the drums. Yet this is always brought up, and the drummer cant get through to them that he doesnt play loud, drums are just a loud instrument. He does have something which he puts on his shells to dampen the sound slightly (big plastic rings?) - Too much negativity. Constantly being told at soundcheck before gigs that we sound sh*t (by singer). That we "murder" this song and that. Also I feel like i am being watched and my performance monitored. After every gig there is an email that goes out. 99% of it is negative. - Too much pressure. Lead guitarist constantly going on about stage presence and we need to move about more. Its not my thing, and i'd feel awkward doing it. Plus, we are not that type of band. Plus its hard to enjoy yourself after the above comment. Also comments on dynamics. Gives each part of a song a rating out of 10 for dynamics. What the difference between 7 or 8 is i dont know... - Timekeeping. Singer is always late. For both rehearsals and gigs. Not by 5 or ten minutes, but by 30 minutes plus. Last gig we did was friday. We needed to be there early to soundcheck. Everyone was down there for 6pm. I didnt finish work till 6 so said i'd be down for 7. After a long 12 hour day at the end of the week not ideal, but i rushed around, got my stuff together and i was there for 7. Singer rolls in 30-40 minutes after me. - Arguments over upcoming EP. We are finishing off the 4 track EP this weekend. The songs were decided without me (i had to work but put forward my choice of 4 or 5 songs). After everyone else met up with the producer they all decided on 4 songs, 3 of which i had hoped to do anway so all was good. Now as of last week the signer kicks up a fuss about the new lyrics for one of the tracks. I said i wasnt involved in the final decision making process, so why didnt u say something then? He shrugged. I said who actually voted for the song? Turns out only me and the lead guitarist. So i said why are we recording it then? I then pointed out that we have tracked demos for these songs, and the producer is expecting us to do this song. Saying your not happy about the song a week before we enter the studio is pointless. His reply was "f*** it, we will just do it". So we will all be recording this song knowing that the singer isnt bothered about it. - Appreciation for the promoter/soundman/other bands etc - He never says thanks to so and so for playing, or thanks to promoter for putting on this gig, or thanks to the fans for coming to see us, or thanks to said band for letting us on the bill with them. When we brought it up he said "if someone wants to say something they should get a mic." - The booking of gigs. The singer thinks some of the gigs we do "turn off potential fans". These are your usual 4 band line-up at a venue thats established for live music. - but yet tried booking us to play a 60th birthday party? We are not a covers band by the way. He also refused to book gigs now because "knobody gets back to him". By that he means he agrees to a gig thinking everyone will be ok with it and gets pissed off when someone says they cant make it. - Band website - It was agreed a few months ago that I would re-design the website as it looked sh*te basically. I am in no way a professional, but i did 2 years of it at college, (and ran my own websites after leaving college for a bit of pocket money) and and i am proficient enough to come up with a decent website. The next day, the website had changed again. I now no longer give out our website address! and -Singers vocals. Really grates on me now. I'm not much of a fan of Oasis, but he is. Can you tell? (but i dont think i can count that as a reason) Does this sound like a happy functioning band? Or a band that will soon implode? Or is it just me nit picking???? [/quote] And all this without wifes and girl friends getting involved.... Garry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Low End Bee Posted March 1, 2011 Share Posted March 1, 2011 Time to move on. Doesn't sound like much fun. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cetera Posted March 1, 2011 Share Posted March 1, 2011 Feck it off and find something else.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EdwardHimself Posted March 1, 2011 Share Posted March 1, 2011 Yes. Leave your band. Get into a new one when you feel like being in a band again. Simples *weird meerkat noise* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tauzero Posted March 1, 2011 Share Posted March 1, 2011 Have you asked the other members of the band (except the singer) how they all feel about the singer? It could be that they're all pissed off with him too. There's no great shortage of singers... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dlloyd Posted March 1, 2011 Share Posted March 1, 2011 [list] [*]Are you making money? [*]Are you enjoying yourself? [*]Is the music good? [/list] If you can answer 'yes' to two of those questions, then stay. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Len_derby Posted March 1, 2011 Share Posted March 1, 2011 Hiya, Just a couple of personal opinions, based on my own (old git) experience. Life's far too short to spend time doing things you don't enjoy. It's always worth trying to put things right before moving away from something that doesn't appear to work. If you have the time, try a side-project. I was once disgruntled with a band I was in. I deputised in another outfit for relief and discovered my main band wasn't too bad after all. The grass usually looks greener on the other side! It's up to you if you tell the others about a side-project, but I can recommend it to give a sense of perspective. Finally, something that happened to me. I was in a thrash-metal/punk band, and the singer was a 24 carat git. One night I'd had enough of the stage invasions he encouraged so during the next melee I took the opportunity to clock him across the jaw without him knowing it was me what dun'it. I couldn't possibly suggest you do that, but by God it felt good. Good luck, keep the passion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
geoffbyrne Posted March 1, 2011 Share Posted March 1, 2011 (edited) If you are playing for fun..... and there isn't any, then time to leave. Take the drummer. G. Edited March 1, 2011 by geoffbyrne Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cat Burrito Posted March 1, 2011 Share Posted March 1, 2011 Sounds to me like you answered the thread question in the original post! Like Len_derby said, Life's far too short to spend time doing things you don't enjoy. I also agree with dlloyd's post about having fun, making money & being good - 2/3 is the minimum. Reading the original post I can only assume you are asking us to confirm a decision you have already made. Best of luck with it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EBS_freak Posted March 1, 2011 Share Posted March 1, 2011 [quote name='krth1985' post='1145919' date='Mar 1 2011, 03:41 PM']I now no longer give out our website address![/quote] You should do... the blog is well entertaining. But yeah, sounds like you should jump ship. You don't need that in your life. Find something that excites you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
icastle Posted March 1, 2011 Share Posted March 1, 2011 Sounds to me as if the singer is trying to dominate everything and the lead guitarist feels safest standing behind him. Talk to the rest of the band and see how they feel - from what you've said it sounds like you and the drummer are on pretty much the same wavelength. Get enough people to be honest about how they're feeling in the band and you've either got the makings of a new band or a band that pulls together. Singers are easily replaced and the lead guitarist might settle down a bit if the disruptive influence is out of the way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gust0o Posted March 1, 2011 Share Posted March 1, 2011 If your drummer needs to explain to half the band that the drums are loud, then yes - go; and go now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truckstop Posted March 1, 2011 Share Posted March 1, 2011 Tell the singer to piss off. He sounds a right sod. Truckstop Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doctor J Posted March 1, 2011 Share Posted March 1, 2011 Link us up. Let's see the website. We can't really give a balanced answer otherwise. Ah it sounds like the thrill is gone and you should follow. No-one would write that much if they weren't sick of the situation. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xilddx Posted March 1, 2011 Share Posted March 1, 2011 Leave. It's a waste of your time and you could be in another band enjoying yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BT! Posted March 1, 2011 Share Posted March 1, 2011 I am in the simular situation with a band im going to leave. alot of the point your brought up are there although theyre all nice dudes which makes it even harder Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
burno70 Posted March 1, 2011 Share Posted March 1, 2011 I think the fact that you can't discuss this with your band mates is a really bad sign. Looking back contructively post gig is always helpfull but giving each song a rating is seriously anal. If moving around is not you then your bandmates should respect that - I can groove on the spot but moving around - walking whilst playing - no, I lose my balance! Being in a band can be a totally awesome and cool experience, yes they can turn sour, but when you get the right blend of people and musicians its seriously awesome to be a part of. Life's too short! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BottomE Posted March 1, 2011 Share Posted March 1, 2011 Some of the things that you guys argue about should be discussed - dynamics, stage presence and the like but in a positive way. It sounds like your band have gone past being civil so I don't think you have to ask. Leave. I would rather stick hot knitting needles through my own eyeballs that put up with that sh*t. In a years time you'll be in another band - lovin it and thinking why did i put up with that previous crap for so long. It's a no-brainer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
derrenleepoole Posted March 1, 2011 Share Posted March 1, 2011 I would say life has the potential to be very long indeed (I've never understood why people say short), so why waste any of it on something you know the answer too already Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KevB Posted March 1, 2011 Share Posted March 1, 2011 Much of what you don't enjoy about the band seems to directly or indirectly relate to the singer. If the rest of the band are feeling the same but haven't raised it yet then a change of singer might be a better option than finding a new band from scratch. If you're not enjoying the music anymore then yeah, best to quit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jigster Posted March 1, 2011 Share Posted March 1, 2011 you could say guys we need to talk and if no one knows why, then you know you really are on your own!! I'd get out mate, don't need primas like the singer - Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gub Posted March 1, 2011 Share Posted March 1, 2011 In my book the number one priority is to have fun ,and anything that comes after that is a bonus , i think its time to move on and get with some likeminded people ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.