discreet

You'll have to ask Fleabag. He collects the evidence. Being a policeman, he probably misread 'heft' as 'theft'! 😂

Is that why they go around in pairs; one can read and one can write?

Or, one can't read and one can't write!

Nice rack!

Ah Ha! That can't be true as Fender don't have a factory in Germany  You may find your new P bass that is on it's way from Germany, could actually be a cunningly disguised ironing board with a Fender decal on it. 🙁

Post a pic of it and let the experts decide...

When I say 'from Germany', I do of course mean, 'from Thomann'...

Does a large Tena Lady cover a whole coffee table though and if so, how much would she charge?

@SpondonBassed My Tena Lady covers a whole coffee table, but she's quite a big girl and it's a very small coffee table. Glass-topped too, but we probably don't want to get into that on a family-friendly forum... as for charging, I have to put the bins out on Monday nights.

Nice

Oh, I wanted to see your status in 6 months time, asking how to get the araldite off! ?

So did Karl! I'm not using Araldite - it's WAY too permanent.

I've also had really positive dealings with Hipshots customer support, specifically Jason as well, they're really great!

Glad it's getting sorted

It's customary for the royal family to wipe their bottoms with swan's necks. Apparently.

No. they have people to do that for them.

Quick!  Someone swap Charles' swan for a goose.

It's OK - now I'll be gigging again, I'll need more cables...

Awesome. Well done that man.

@Les Thank you, sir.

Any of my previous girlfriends would tell her she's lucky to get ANY sort of bloody cake! Honestly, it's the epitome of the First World Problem if you ask me! And she's of an age where she shouldn't even be celebrating her bloody birthdays!

@Marc S Don't worry, THAT won't ever happen.

She doesn't like Boston pancake then?

Jack broke his nut once and Jill fixed it with vinegar and brown paper.

If you read the second verse of the old nursery rhyme quoted here it seems there are other things that can benefit from that sort of therapy.

@SpondonBassed Seems about right. You may as well patch your nob with vinegar and brown paper as anything else. I often use a dab of honey and a wet wipe.

In the style of Valerie Singleton:

All you need to make your own scale model of the Kensington fatberg is a squeezy Fairy Liquid liquid bottle, some Hermès 24 Faubourg scented wet wipes, some of nanny's used syringes and some palm oil.  Make sure the palm oil comes from Harrods' food hall children.  We don't want any lower class blockages in our sewers now do we?

Here's one I made earlier...

I have one laying on the table - not due till the end of the month...I'm intrigued now..

I've gone from IG36 to IG19 and it's gone up £100 - time to shop around!

@JapanAxe Definitely. Looked around just out of interest and Direct Line were competitive. But they wouldn't do monthly payments and their excesses were, uh... excessive.

If they want kids to get interested then the powers that be should stop selling the TV rights to SKY and BT and make them available to more accessible channels. I got into cricket by watching it with my Grandad when it was shown on the beeb.

Dinosaurs Vs Cricketers.. I think I might watch that! 

"You're out!!"

*MUNCH* "Nyarrghhhh!!!!!"

Cricket is coming back to terrestrial next year I believe. Ofc it's the audience vs money problem.

Brontosaurus as sweeper on the Cover boundary, Velociraptors at Short Leg. Just make sure if Stegosaurus is bowling they use their short run-up.

Here in Finland there are no import duties to pay for items that are imported from outside of the EU if,  The total value including postage come to some under something like €50.

Or at least that was the case the last time I  imported anything from the USA, far too complicated to try and save money on items and will only do it if it's a specialised item I can't get from anywhere else.

Having done the sums, even with custom charges the bridge still works out cheaper importing from the US than buying it in the UK! Which just goes to show what a rip-off everything is here!

See? Even though I actually got a fair result, I'm still moaning about it!

In the UK it's if goods + posting > £18 (or thereabouts).

The courier normally adds an "admin fee", of £10-20.

Indeed.  It's madness when Mr Sheen is the obvious choice!

"My fear is that I will die and mrs discreet will sell my basses for what I told her they cost. "

Kill the missus first. Job done. Throw pledge in the bin

And avoid flights of stairs for the rest of your life.

Must be in the fingers then..but not mine. I do have mini sponges glued onto my finger tips for most gigs. Seriously, not noticed any huge intonation issues though my Pitch Black tuner is getting dusty and I just use a clip-on.

If discreet had said that I'd have been sure it was some sort of euphemism... 

@hiram.k.hackenbacker The work of two minutes with Superglue and cocktail sticks - and a couple of seconds worth of electric drill. Done!

The Taliban, well yet another of the "my book is better than your book so for that you should die" brigade. Dump `em in with Hitler/Stalin etc, ethnic cleansing & genocide not my fave pastimes.

But I heard that one of them owns a kitten...

So he`s a Bond villain as well, that`s multi-tasking..................

Have you considered getting a white poodle with a pink coat and bows ?

it should have much the same visual and audio effect !

I think I'd rather have the poodle than the Rick TBH.

You're welcome to both!

Winter drawers on

As always, should you or any of your finger be caught or killed, Ped will disavow any knowledge of your actions. This website will self-destruct in ten seconds. Good luck.

Couldn't upload a pic of my breakfast discreet but I thought I'd share with you and the world that when I bought the beans (mulipack), I found one of them to be severely dented. This couldn't be seen when packaged. I feel robbed...

I look forward to not buying them!

..... well, until at least next week, Mr discreet!

https://www.basschat.co.uk/topic/333471-nbd-squier-deluxe-active-jazz-iv-revisited/

I like the programmes, but not members of the public who appear on them. They are always disappointing. Just like real life! 

Steampunk Morris dancing is even more retarded. Plus tard as the French would probably say.

@pete.young Thanks for that image. Where's the brain bleach?? 

That white Ibanez Musician is doing my head in, too. But the current mrs discreet would have my pods on a plate. Hnnng!

Which do you need more, your pods, or a nice new bass?

Ha! I have other basses, but only one set of pods. Still a difficult choice though.

Bass (collection) enlargement ads might be more appropriate?

@dodge_bass I dunno, if anything I'd like to see a reduction of bass collections...

I keep on getting ads for carpet slippers 🤫

That's what I said! *Inserts 'laughing' emoticon*

Need the "vomit" emoticon cos' some of you seriously have no taste whatsoever. 

@Chownybass,  You were a bit slow.

Discreet might have been slightly more open to your suggestion had I not already tried to sell him one of my own creations.

This

@itsmedunc You've not met my wife then?

I used to work with a sound-guy who regularly tweeked the settings on my bass amp. I know for a fact he tried it with other bass colleagues......

...they still haven't found the body

@Marvin I've just got three payments to go, then it's mine!

I acquired some Greek coins which I'd hoped to use on the knobs of my Psilos bass. Unfortunately none are my YOB.

Now that would be a great plectrum for my '66 Slab Precision!  A bit of British history on both counts.

i liked that feature

@phsycoandy, that's good!

Because it's still there!

@Discreet;  Is that still an avatar of Orson Wells, only more recent?

Gothic