Overreaction?

[EssexBuccaneer]

Guys, on Thursday our singer dropped a message into our ‘serious’ WhatsApp group (as opposed to our regular chat which is full of memes and in-jokes). Long story short, it was ‘We need to chat, I’ve got a lot going on and I’m not in a good place. I want this to come out through me and not for you to find out later…etc etc’

 

Now I’m off on holiday tomorrow with my wife and we’ve been looking forwards to this holiday for literally years  (we last went abroad in 2019). So I said ‘that’s cool, but we need this sorted and out in the open before I go away, because this isn’t going to hang over my holiday. 3 of us (4-piece band) could manage several dates and times, but the singer couldn’t make any of them. We offered a group call but he didn’t respond. Today, we discussed the opportunity of meeting tomorrow AM just before I go away, but once again he can’t make it ‘so it’ll have to be when you get back’ 

 

in response I left the ‘serious’ group chat with a message saying ‘I’m not dealing with this on my holiday, someone came rejoin me in this group when I get back’ 

 

I’m certain it’s p***ed him off as he hasn’t even reached out to say ‘are you ok?’ (I’m not). Unlike the other 2 guys who both checked in with me in no time.
 

Have I overreacted? 

Edited 5 hours ago by EssexBuccaneer

[Burns-bass]

No.

 

Being in a band is like being married. You have to treat each other with respect or it won’t work.

 

You’ve been fair and honest. Turn off your phone and have an amazing holiday.

[Lozz196]

No, you want to have a good holiday, metaphorically put your feet up and relax, not have a load of stuff from back home to deal with whilst away. 

[neepheid]

I might have simply muted the group rather than outright left, but nonetheless your ire is justified.  Try to put it to the back of your mind and enjoy your hols.  Really not cool for the singer to drop a bomb then rebuff all attempts to sort it out before you leave.  I get that he's having problems, but you can't pull the emergency cord like that, then sit on your hands.

[EBS_freak]

musicians for you.

[dave_bass5]

I suppose 'I’ve got a lot going on and I’m not in a good place' can partly explain his non communication. To be fair I think I would have got annoyed as well, but without knowing what his issue's are it might be a bit of an over reaction. 

The world is a global place, you could still do a zoom or group call from anywhere. 

[Stub Mandrel]

Tread carefully. He's the one in a crisis and has tried to help out.

 

If you make him feel like you're having an even bigger one as a result, it adds to his burden and retreating from the situation may be all he's up to.