Depressing things your bandmates say.

[hubrad]

Can we get more accordion in the monitors?

[mbellishment]

[quote name='4 Strings' timestamp='1358264035' post='1935898']
Well?
[/quote]
I refuse to bite my friend

[Oopsdabassist]

Jolly Good, I also rarely bite my friends!!!

[BILL POSTERS]

I got us a 'charity' gig. No money but its all exposure. We could just treat it as a rehearsal.

[theunconditional]

a dep drummer once said to me dont worry ive played loads of theatres before and i definatly f!!ked up better bands than this........he wasnt joking

me to singer ...wheres your mic.....singer.....didnt know i needed to bring one thought youd supply it as iam the star of the show........deluded twat

[RandomBass]

'Actually, to be honest with you, I'm surprised I lasted this long'.
Our first drummer, just after I told him the news...

Edited January 16, 2013 by RandomBass

[seashell]

Time to revive this thread with a gem from our keyboard player. ...'There's no music during the chorus, just the bass and drums' .

[SICbass]

[quote name='seashell' timestamp='1476912715' post='3158512']
Time to revive this thread with a gem from our keyboard player. ...'There's no music during the chorus, just the bass and drums' .
[/quote]

Burn him!

[Japhet]

Singer - The vocals are a bit too high for me.
Me - We can change the key.
Singer - No need, I'll just sing it a bit higher.
Me - What? Like, out of tune.

[JTUK]

[quote name='Japhet' timestamp='1476944793' post='3158619']
Singer - The vocals are a bit too high for me.
Me - We can change the key.
Singer - No need, I'll just sing it a bit higher.
Me - What? Like, out of tune.
[/quote]

Yep.... can't reach those notes... but the singer is sure he is comfortable....wtf was he hearing? It wasn't my gig so I didn't make an issue of it but that tells you everything.

[FuNkShUi]

Had a good one from the drummer at a gig we played a couple of weeks ago.

Sound engineer sorting out our monitors, he'd gone through everyone, drummer was last.
Bare in mind i dont have a speaker cabinet on stage, i just come through the PA.

Sound engineer: "Ok drummer....what you want in your monitor"
Drummer: " Lead vocals, Keys, and a little guitar"
Sound engineer: "Ok, no worries. Bass?"
Drummer: "Nah"

WTF?!?!?!

[JTUK]

hmmmm

So he is not playing with you... how on earth does that work..?

[FuNkShUi]

Exactly what i said to him afterwards.
He said he could hear the bass enough from the subs

[fleabag]

New singer 1 year in and 5 gigs done : " Yeah really loving it- no problems. Course i'm up for more "

1 month later " Sorry guys, the wife has said its me or the band "

Gigs cancelled

[Dan Dare]

On turning up to a venue to find a space about 3 metres by 2 metres for a 5 piece band, with drums, PA etc.

Me - "Just not practical. We'll have to give it a miss. I'll speak to the guvnor".
Guitar player - "No. We should play"
Me - "Where? How?"
Guitar player - "We'll do it without drums"
Me - "What about PA?"
Guitar player - "We'll do it acoustically"
Me - "Have fun See you"

[Marvin]

"I don't mind just practicing once a week and just doing mate's parties".

"I'm quite happy if we just make this a recording project".

[bassjim]

"I (the gitard) listened back to all of the last three days recordings and its all no good. The engineer used too much sansamp on the bass and the drums didnt have the right ambiemnce plus I thought the vocals could have been better so I deleted the lot. Next time we do this we will use my home pro tools setup. To save time I will do all the bass and program the drum parts. I rekon I can get a really good band vibe that will come out much better."

He got the stems from the studio without telling anyone, made sure they were not recoverable from the same studio and did all this before any of the band could hear for themselves what he was on about.

And yes we all chipped in to pay for it.

Edited October 20, 2016 by bassjim

[TheRev]

[quote name='bassjim' timestamp='1476960865' post='3158795']
"I (the gitard) listened back to all of the last three days recordings and its all no good. The engineer used too much sansamp on the bass and the drums didnt have the right ambiemnce plus I thought the vocals could have been better so I deleted the lot. Next time we do this we will use my home pro tools setup. To save time I will do all the bass and program the drum parts. I rekon I can get a really good band vibe that will come out much better."

He got the stems from the studio without telling anyone, made sure they were not recoverable from the same studio and did all this before any of the band could hear for themselves what he was on about.

And yes we all chipped in to pay for it.
[/quote]

This sounds like someone looking for a solo project....I'd help him realise that dream if I were you.

[RockfordStone]

[quote name='TheRev' timestamp='1476961132' post='3158796']
This sounds like someone looking for a solo project....I'd help him realise that dream if I were you.
[/quote]
i'd also be taking him to small claims court to recover the money he just deleted without asking... and then i'd probably punch him in the face

[bassjim]

[quote name='TheRev' timestamp='1476961132' post='3158796']
This sounds like someone looking for a solo project....I'd help him realise that dream if I were you.
[/quote] was an old band . i got regular well paid gigs and that recording was part of an ego trip I went along with to keep the peace, so wasnt that much a deal in the big scheme of things.
just thought it was funny enough to share. I have a catalogue of these classics but have experienced most that have been mentioned by every one here, as I'm sure we all have!
Great topic though.

Edited October 20, 2016 by bassjim

[RockfordStone]

guitarist 1 week: "yes i am totally up for gigging anywhere, i just wanna play man.."
next week after me getting us a gig: "ahh man i don't wanna play there, some guy had his guitar nicked there once"

another time

guitarist: "yes i am totally up for gigging anywhere, i just wanna play man.."
2 days before a gig that had been booked and known about for months, guitarist: "do we have a gig this week man? i can't do it, i'm going to see my gran"

i'm not in that band anymore...

[Barking Spiders]

Ha, I'm actually one of those people that's said quite a few of these things especially about not having time to practise, not wanting to do more an x number of gigs per whatever an having to leave early to see a girlfriend etc. Which is why I've always ended to bale out early after realising others are often a damn sight more serious about being in a band then me. It should be fun playing in bands and not be like school lessons. Maybe many peeps in bands should lighten up and not give such a hard time to blokes who have a lot on their plates.

[TimR]

[quote name='Barking Spiders' timestamp='1476965198' post='3158851']
Ha, I'm actually one of those people that's said quite a few of these things especially about not having time to practise, not wanting to do more an x number of gigs per whatever an having to leave early to see a girlfriend etc. Which is why I've always ended to bale out early after realising others are often a damn sight more serious about being in a band then me. It should be fun playing in bands and not be like school lessons. Maybe many peeps in bands should lighten up and not give such a hard time to blokes who have a lot on their plates.
[/quote]

It's like any club, a certain amount of self discipline, commitment and respect needs to be shown by all members.

No, it's not school, but these are some of the qualities that school tries to instil. Some people don't seem have learned them, which makes the people who have learned them very frustrated, it's not about being 'serious' it's about showing some common decency.

.

Edited October 20, 2016 by TimR

[Barking Spiders]

Yeah but if you let others know in good time that you might have to leave early, cancel etc surely that's common decency. I'd agree that suddenly walking out of a rehearsal saying you've got to go somewhere etc is out of order

[bassjim]

[quote name='Barking Spiders' timestamp='1476965198' post='3158851']
Ha, I'm actually one of those people that's said quite a few of these things especially about not having time to practise, not wanting to do more an x number of gigs per whatever an having to leave early to see a girlfriend etc. Which is why I've always ended to bale out early after realising others are often a damn sight more serious about being in a band then me. It should be fun playing in bands and not be like school lessons. Maybe many peeps in bands should lighten up and not give such a hard time to blokes who have a lot on their plates.
[/quote]
i think if the band says/ agrees prior to lift off " this (x) is what we all willingly expect and have agreed is a reasonable target for every one to achieve within (x) time frame." ie:for example " can you learn the new bruno mars one/ entire back catalogue of led zepplin for next week?" and the answer is " yes. I can learn the new bruno mars one/ entire back catalogue of led zepplin for next week" and then next week come out with a "dog ate my homework" type of excuse on a regular basis and repeatedly use the mantra " well unless its fun and a really good laugh I'm not happy" as an "acceptable" excuse for not keeping up then this is bad......IMO......but if the general vibe is " we get done what we get done and hey, its just a few gigs and a laugh" then in that case its ok.

The "fun" part I'm guessing, for a lot of peeps is the getting it right and getting a buzz out of playing well to an enthusiastic audience. Ok some folks out there probably do go a bit to far with it and get maybe a tad OTT. Usually these are the more passionate and sometimes better musicians. They usually dont have so much on their plates so the frustration for them is far greater. They also are more annoying to some as they try to drag the whole thing forward. I've been the band dictator as well as the "really? calm down, its only....." on and off over the years depending on my enthusiasm for the music and band at the time.

Not damming you for having a lot going on by the way. Just saying some folks are like that because this is their escape from their otherwise dull existence on the planet. On the bright side it leads to some of the great one liners already mentioned in this thread. ( hope no offence caused. not my intention! )