How1 Posted July 25, 2023 Share Posted July 25, 2023 (edited) So after about 15 years I decided to start playing again. Skill wise I'm happy enough and picked things up after a few months and I'm happy with where I am skill wise, I actually find it easier now to pick things up and play stuff - I've even started writing a few songs. I've found myself completely out of the loop and a bit aimless though. I thought I'd be happy at 45 just noodling and playing through some covers etc etc. but I'm not. It'd be really nice to do something more. I don't really know any musicians any more. One of my friends plays guitar, but he's ok(ish) but the type of stuff he plays doesn't really float my boat. Every time we get together we're playing really random stuff, like different genres every song. It's fun to some degree but it's not really working for me. How do you even get started anymore? I'm totally out of the loop and a bit disheartened. I thought it'd be nice just to pick up a bass and learn a few songs for fun, but I'm getting bored of playing with myself lol. At this age it's not like I can just 'just a band'. Or that's how it feels. Edited July 25, 2023 by How1 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Waddo Soqable Posted July 25, 2023 Share Posted July 25, 2023 You're only 45 ... Wtf.. Of course you can join a band 😁 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Downunderwonder Posted July 26, 2023 Share Posted July 26, 2023 Find an open jam/mic/band night. There's all kinds of formats. Sometimes there's a house band that gives up spots to whoever can play or sing. Sometimes there's only a host and it's expected singers will bring their own band or play their own accompaniment. If you take a small rig and join the host for a few you can get some attention. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigRedX Posted July 26, 2023 Share Posted July 26, 2023 To the OP: What sort of music do you want to play and what sort of a band do you want to be in in terms of commitment? If you want to go covers get along to some jam or open mic nights and start networking. If you want to do originals go to local gigs and get a feel for the sort of band you'd like to be in and get to know who is doing music in that style in your area. One of the bands I play with at the moment, I joined simply because I was a fan and was following them on Facebook, so knew when they were looking for a replacement bass player. Of course you could always put an ad up on Join My Band. Be specific about the sort of music you want to play and the sort of commitment you are prepared to put in and what you want out of any band you would like to join and that should filter out most of the time-wasters. And these days age is less important than ever for most genres. I formed what has been my most prolific and probably best-known band a few months before my 50th birthday. I'm now in my early 60s and at the moment I'm playing in one well-established (two albums out working on our third) and one up and coming band both in the post-punk/goth genre. When I'm not gigging (I have gigs with one or the other band at least every other week) I'm writing and recording new material. Over the last 15 years I've never been busier musically. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paolo85 Posted July 26, 2023 Share Posted July 26, 2023 I am in a similar situation, a bit younger, with the complication (which you may or may not have as well) that for family reasons I am not so sure how much time I'd be ok to allocate to a band. On paper jam nights seem to be the thing for me but I am not so good at improvising and jamming in front of lots of people is not necessarily the low pressure situation I'd be looking for after some 20 years without playing with other people. My ideal situation would be a fairly local band of middle-aged mums and dads, little more than beginners, or re-learners, or for some reason hapoy to just reharse together for a while without gigging until the band works alright. I guess such thing may even exist if I am flexible with genres... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Jack Posted July 26, 2023 Share Posted July 26, 2023 Bwahahahahahaha!!! I picked up a bass for the very first time on my 49th birthday. I don't think your life is over because you're 45 ... As others have said, get yourself down to all the Open Mics within your range, start playing with other people again, get your face and your skills known. It won't be long before things start to happen. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paul S Posted July 26, 2023 Share Posted July 26, 2023 i did the same - sdtopped playing in my early 20s and hadn't joined a band when I was 45. That was 20 years ago. What you need more than anything is a positive outlook - anything else will come from that. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Waddo Soqable Posted July 26, 2023 Share Posted July 26, 2023 Virtually a carbon copy of what the other guys have said, I started up again, mid 40s after a very long absence from any sort of involvement in music, by age 48 I was doing loads of stuff with a succession of bands. I many ways you're the perfect age to jump back in again.. As advised above just suss out what kind of thing you want to do, and then onward to devise your master plan ! 👍 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ahpook Posted July 26, 2023 Share Posted July 26, 2023 I'd advise getting onto Gumtree, JoinMyBand, Facebook groups and so on. such places often get short shrift on this forum but I've had success finding people to play with through them. In fact one band I found through Gumtree was exactly the 'Mum & Dad' set-up the OP mentioned ! Good luck @How1, keep at it and something will come along...you may need to kiss a few frogs along the way, but such is #basslife 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ezbass Posted July 26, 2023 Share Posted July 26, 2023 Jam nights, ads in Joinmyband and Bandmix are the proactive things you can do (I know the last 2 get mixed reviews, but I’ve joined 3 bands over the years from them) and I think Facebook might have something similar.. Don’t be closed off to genres you wouldn’t normally play, they can often be the most rewarding merely due to the new challenge. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snorkie635 Posted July 26, 2023 Share Posted July 26, 2023 Do local music shops have notice-boards where you can put some information about yourself out there - 'Bass player seeks ...' type of thing? Facebook? Are you up for traveling within a 10/20 miles radius from your gaff? Are there local evening classes for 'guitar' in your area? If there are, drop along. You'd be surprised how many 'tame' bassists are viewed as manna from Heaven and something other than your hip might click. I was gigging in bands five years before you were born -and still am - so, agreeing with comment(s) above, get yourself motivated and give it some. Let us know how it goes. Best wishes Snorkie (or Snorkle in this weather). 👍 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Newfoundfreedom Posted July 26, 2023 Share Posted July 26, 2023 Similar to above, I played bass in my teens, then never picked one up again until I was about 44 / 45. I was extremely lucky that a lot of my friends locally just happened to be musicians in a similar situation so forming a band was easy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Franticsmurf Posted July 26, 2023 Share Posted July 26, 2023 Join a band. Or form your own. I'm in a band that I joined when I was 57 and at 59 I've just put together a 3 piece in the last couple of months, as the first band doesn't play often enough for me. Have a chat with your guitarist mate and see if there is common ground for you to become the pair around which the band forms. Be prepared to compromise a bit. The 3 piece I mentioned has me (a certified prog rockist), a guitarist/singer (very much a heavy blues/80's metal-ist) and the drummer (from early 70's via big band and jazz). If I'd gone with their genres, I would never have through they'd fit with what I wanted to do but with a bit of wiggling and some subtle hints, we're working on a bunch of tunes that we all like and which, because of the way we've arranged them, seem to work together. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lozz196 Posted July 26, 2023 Share Posted July 26, 2023 I`m another that who, although I`ve been playing since 15 has had the most successful period in music from late 40s onwards so def don`t let the age of 45 make you think there`s nothing for you now. I`d agree with the going to venues that do that music you like and getting it known that you`re looking for an opportunity. Might not be instant but you`ll be enjoying yourself whilst doing your research. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Jack Posted July 26, 2023 Share Posted July 26, 2023 22 minutes ago, Franticsmurf said: Join a band. Or form your own. NOOOOOOOOOO!!! If you're trying to get back into playing, do not under any circumstances try to start a new band. You will be entering a world of pain, frustration, communication breakdowns, hypocrisy, and total lack of commitment. It will put you off for life. Let some other poor bugger go through all that and set up a new band. Then go and join it. 3 2 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beedster Posted July 26, 2023 Share Posted July 26, 2023 Coming on BC suggesting that 45 years of age is in some way old is a brave move! You should probably head over to BasschatJnr.com which carers for the under 50’s 👍 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
asingardenof Posted July 26, 2023 Share Posted July 26, 2023 (edited) 12 hours ago, How1 said: So after about 15 years I decided to start playing again. Skill wise I'm happy enough and picked things up after a few months and I'm happy with where I am skill wise, I actually find it easier now to pick things up and play stuff - I've even started writing a few songs. I've found myself completely out of the loop and a bit aimless though. I thought I'd be happy at 45 just noodling and playing through some covers etc etc. but I'm not. It'd be really nice to do something more. I don't really know any musicians any more. One of my friends plays guitar, but he's ok(ish) but the type of stuff he plays doesn't really float my boat. Every time we get together we're playing really random stuff, like different genres every song. It's fun to some degree but it's not really working for me. How do you even get started anymore? I'm totally out of the loop and a bit disheartened. I thought it'd be nice just to pick up a bass and learn a few songs for fun, but I'm getting bored of playing with myself lol. At this age it's not like I can just 'just a band'. Or that's how it feels. You can absolutely join a band at 45. I joined my current (and first "proper") band at 44 last year. Join bandmix.co.uk and see what's out there. Edited July 26, 2023 by asingardenof Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moose Posted July 26, 2023 Share Posted July 26, 2023 Too old at 45 - Rubbish! I just had my 74th birthday and joined my current band last year. I found them on the JoinMyBand website. To quote Nike: Just Do It! 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGreek Posted July 26, 2023 Share Posted July 26, 2023 Completely understand not wanting to do covers - there are some songs which drive me mental and I can't bring myself to play. Speaking to other musicians, most play covers out of frustration but would love to do originals. Finding the right people to do what that can be really maddening though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chris_b Posted July 26, 2023 Share Posted July 26, 2023 Forget about being picky about the music. Go and play with everyone and anyone you can find. Play every style of music. Become selective in a year or so. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Al Krow Posted July 26, 2023 Share Posted July 26, 2023 29 minutes ago, TheGreek said: Completely understand not wanting to do covers - there are some songs which drive me mental and I can't bring myself to play. Speaking to other musicians, most play covers out of frustration but would love to do originals. Finding the right people to do what that can be really maddening though. Ah that's a generalisation. There's plenty of musicians who love playing great covers (me included) and who don't feel frustrated. And plenty of audiences who prefer listening to covers bands/booking them vs going to hear a relatively unknown originals band. Surely boredom/frustration can creep into any music if you're only playing a particular set over and over? The trick is to vary it up and keep things fresh. Do whatever you love doing. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ezbass Posted July 26, 2023 Share Posted July 26, 2023 30 minutes ago, chris_b said: Forget about being picky about the music. Go and play with everyone and anyone you can find. Play every style of music. Become selective in a year or so. Wise words. Limiting your musical choice will limit your opportunities to play. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oomo Posted July 26, 2023 Share Posted July 26, 2023 I'm vaguely in the same boat (played a bunch in my 20s, had a 10 year break, picked up again early 40s). Finding people to play with is definitely tricky, and committing to a gigging band is tricky with family and inconsistent work hours (e.g. occasional travelling for work, early/late starts/finished, etc.) is tough. Finding a more casual band to play with seems to be the hard bit, there seem to be plenty of adverts for super serious people expecting to be the next big thing and want to practice/gig 3 nights a week, wanting to be "festival ready" for summer, want you to be heavily involved in social media marketing, etc. I'd rather just find some nice likeminded people to jam with, see how writing material goes, and take it from there. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheGreek Posted July 26, 2023 Share Posted July 26, 2023 1 hour ago, Oomo said: I'd rather just find some nice likeminded people to jam with, see how writing material goes, and take it from there. This... 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neepheid Posted July 26, 2023 Share Posted July 26, 2023 47 here, only started playing bass in my 30s. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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