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geoham

Told a punter to 'get to f...' for the time last night!

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did at gig as a farewell to the landlord/lady who were moving on from a very well run music pub that a couple of my bands have played a lot over the years.  We came a long way, but loved the place, and we'd been asked back specifically to headline this farewell weekend gig, the band playing punk covers.  We'd previously supported a few old school punk bands there, one being Splodgenessabounds, and on the night Max Splodge, who lived fairly locally and had been in a few times when we played, was there and asked if we knew Two Pints Of Lager so he could get up for a song. 

We'd previously played it but not for a while, so had a run through and put it into the set.  We get to that point in the night, Max gets up to join us, everything's going great...

...then the guitarist from one of the support bands, who is having a little too much fun, decides that he should join in as well, grabs one of the mics and starts shouting along with Max.  Out of time and out of tune...but that doesn't matter does it, it's punk?  Crowd noticeably unimpressed.  Max gives up and retires to the back of the room before the song finishes.

The extra guest decides that he's going to stay up for the next song on the set list, and our singer, who was all for audience participation (he once had to hold me back from punching an over enthusiastic punter who kept jumping into me as we were playing, knocking my mic into my teeth, because he thought that such behaviour by the crowd was fine, they should be able to have a few beers and enjoy themselves) put up with it for a verse and chorus - again out of time and out of tune - before gently easing him away in a very firm but polite manner, like he was addressing a schoolboy who's had too much Sunny Delight - "thanks, I think that's enough now" *turns off mic at the PA*.  Possibly he'd seen the look in my eye, possibly he'd judged the mood of the crowd, but I was actually very impressed with how he dealt with this bloke who was spoiling the evening for everybody except himself - he just accepted that his performance was finished and went back into the crowd

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16 hours ago, geoham said:

Funny, I never considered this could be lost in translation.

To be honest, I'm utterly amazed that the phrase..."GIT TAE F**K...!!"...not to mention the tone that it's normally said in, could be taken in any way other than intended...!!!! 

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9 minutes ago, lou24d53 said:

To be honest, I'm utterly amazed that the phrase..."GIT TAE F**K...!!"...not to mention the tone that it's normally said in, could be taken in any way other than intended...!!!! 

Mehrabian's theory... only 7% of the message is communicated via the words used. Tone and body language to the rest!

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17 hours ago, songofthewind said:

And I’m definitely a lot swearier that most English people I know.

 

You've clearly never been to Liverpool.

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2 hours ago, Ricky 4000 said:

I learned Scottish by watching 'Trainspotting'. :laugh1:

Trainspotting_ver2.jpg

I'm Scottish and never seen it. Not my kind of movie.

 

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We get sick of "can my mate sing the next song?" etc especially as we have a rather good singer!! At a wedding this summer a lady was very keen to be playing some instrument, eventually the singer, on particularly good form gave her a tambourine and took it back off her mid song. In the break she was drunkenly moaning a bit about it. Over the PA monitors I could just hear a matter of a fact tone: "no, you can't play it in time, you've had your chance" which made me laugh! 

Also in the summer there's a pub we play where one guy gets hammered and dances along to everything. He also shouts AC DCCCCCCCC! After every song. Without planning at all our guitarist plays the opening few bars of back in black then the three of us all with mics simultaneously "nah we don't know it". His face was a picture. And he never asked again. Always prefer that over telling them to foxtrot Oscar. Haven't had to do that so often fortunately. 

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6 hours ago, JellyKnees said:

You've clearly never been to Liverpool.

You’re right, I haven’t! But I do feel a strong affinity with Scousers.

Plus, I live in the Home Counties, for my sins. 

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4 hours ago, dmccombe7 said:

I'm Scottish and never seen it. Not my kind of movie.

 

Here's one about Wales Dave. I've never seen it either:

 

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People coming up to me midsong, while I am singing.. If I can hear them, I pretend they are not there til the end of the song. Then I speak to them.


However, there should always be an exception:

Slade at Manchester Rotters 1979. A punter (me) gesticulates frantically at Jim Lea during a song. Seeing as he knew me to chat to at sound checks he didn't ignore me. "Oi, Jim. Your bass rig is belching smoke". An Acoustic 360 power amp was overheating. One of the crew just pulled it out of the rig.

 

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7 hours ago, 12stringbassist said:

People coming up to me midsong, while I am singing.. If I can hear them, I pretend they are not there til the end of the song. Then I speak to them.


However, there should always be an exception:

Slade at Manchester Rotters 1979. A punter (me) gesticulates frantically at Jim Lea during a song. Seeing as he knew me to chat to at sound checks he didn't ignore me. "Oi, Jim. Your bass rig is belching smoke". An Acoustic 360 power amp was overheating. One of the crew just pulled it out of the rig.

 

Lovely! Hope he had a spare. Was the amp still working while on fire? 

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10 hours ago, Ricky 4000 said:

Here's one about Wales Dave. I've never seen it either:

 

For some strange reason i don't think i'll be watching this all the way thru either. Watched a bit of it and its just not my kind of movie.

Dave

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14 hours ago, Ricky 4000 said:

Here's one about Wales Dave. I've never seen it either:

 

Great film! smiley

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8 minutes ago, Ricky 4000 said:

Git tae FACK. 😛

 

GTF is appropriate in this instance and remember to use the angry face emoji to enhance the experience 😠

Dave :laugh1:

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17 minutes ago, Ricky 4000 said:

Git tae FACK. 😛

 

"Here's 20 nicker, now go buy yourself a nice big tin of sticky-sticky and fick off back to Noddyland!" smiley

Edited by Teebs
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Some punters do need to be told. A few funny phrases is often enough to settle any boisterous punters at out gigs but we do get the occasional idiot who decided to stage invade or film us on their phones with full glaring led lights blinding us. The look of indignation on some folks faces when you ask them to stop blinding you is quite funny. On one or two occasions I've managed to turn their phone around on them and have them understand why we're not reveling in the moment! They quickly desist!

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Had a random one at a recent gig - first set so pretty early and no-one really tanked as yet. We launched I Believe In a Thing Called Cheese and this middle aged, very conservatively dressed guy at the bar goes loopy. 

Some  of the most extrovert dance moves we have ever seen, including dry humping a brick pillar - repeatedly. We became completely transfixed, expected him to come through the singer at any point - but his timing was ninja like.

We finished the song, gave him a round of applause. Then he left.

End of the night all the locals were asking us who the guy was. They'd never seen him before. Mysterious Darkness Dancer is out there....

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On 27/10/2019 at 17:07, kevin_lindsay said:

Two songs into our second set, he reappeared, this time with a black padded holdall type thing. He then unzipped it and produced.. a saxophone!!! He then proceeded to parp along with us on the number we were playing, while us in the band were looking at each other quizzically. Turns out we all thought he must be a friend of someone in our band. 

Probably Nik Turner...

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11 hours ago, Teebs said:

Great film! smiley

It is - I'm in it!

 

Blink during the club scene and you'll miss me though 😄

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7 hours ago, chaypup said:

It is - I'm in it!

 

Blink during the club scene and you'll miss me though 😄

Fame at last :lol:

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Funny how most of these crazy punter stories are from north of the border.... I’ve never played north of Manchester, I’ve had to put up with a few similarish gig experiences but nothing like these. 

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Ahhh GTF.....I can just hear the dulcet tones of our Glasgow born drummer as I hand him his tea in a blue mug..........yes he IS a Celtic fan

 

 

 

I love to live dangerously!!😁

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