Bassassin Posted November 14, 2017 Share Posted November 14, 2017 I've played Blanket On The Ground. There. I said it. I've finally admitted it. Do I feel unburdened by this confession? Strangely, no - the recollection just takes me back to that dark, shameful night, and somehow revives and revitalises the humiliation, the stigma, and makes it all real again. No matter that it took place many years ago, in a frankly terrifying pub in the east end of Glasgow, and that it was a necessary act of self-debasement if we were to leave with teeth and gear intact, limbs unbroken and bodies unstabbed. Should I have been the stronger man, and taken the kicking, the glassing? I just don't know - some scars heal, others, it seems, do not. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rushbo Posted November 14, 2017 Share Posted November 14, 2017 I can't really compete with Billie Jo Spears and a death on the dance floor, but I have played some howlers, including: Nellie the Elephant Wombling Merry Christmas Grandma's Feather Bed Theme From the Muppets Three coins in the Fountain Smoke Gets in Your Eyes (reggae version) Ding a dong (1975 Eurovision winner - I love it. YMMV) Save Your Kisses For Me ...there may be others. I tend to blot out trauma. The closest I got to seeing a fatality at a gig was at a wedding reception my old band played. The whole night was strained as it was obvious that the happy couple (who were both lovely) were the only happy people in the room. Both families hated each other and sat at opposite ends of the venue, only interacting to walk over to the "enemy" side and do some shouting, swearing and chest poking. While we were packing up, the groom's mom started laying into another guest...an elderly gentleman who happened to be in a wheelchair. To be fair to him, he was giving as good as he got. I didn't stick around to see who "won", we chucked the gear into the back of a couple of cars and got out of the area before the cops arrived. I don't miss wedding gigs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EliasMooseblaster Posted November 15, 2017 Share Posted November 15, 2017 12 hours ago, rushbo said: While we were packing up, the groom's mom started laying into another guest...an elderly gentleman who happened to be in a wheelchair. To be fair to him, he was giving as good as he got. I didn't stick around to see who "won", we chucked the gear into the back of a couple of cars and got out of the area before the cops arrived. I don't miss wedding gigs. Why do they always wait until you're trying to leave to pick a fight? One of the most miserable gigs I played was a local boozer out in somewhere near Northolt, where the punters clearly weren't interested. We were basically ignored for two hours, and it was only as we were about to carry the gear back out to the car that a fight broke out by the front door - couldn't they have waited until we'd gone? Thankfully the bar staff unlocked the side door for us, so we never saw how that one panned out! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delberthot Posted November 15, 2017 Share Posted November 15, 2017 We have a rare social club gig this weekend and I already know what gems we will be asked to play: Sweet Caroline Blanket on the Ground Snowbird Amarillo Jambalaya Things High Ho Silver Lining And so on I can hardly contain myself Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discreet Posted November 15, 2017 Share Posted November 15, 2017 17 minutes ago, Delberthot said: Snowbird Snowbird is a truly great song and I won't hear a word said against Anne Murray! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BassTractor Posted November 15, 2017 Share Posted November 15, 2017 (edited) 15 hours ago, rushbo said: Ding a dong (1975 Eurovision winner - I love it. YMMV) Great song, innit. I love it too - still now, 42 years later. It's one of those poppy pop songs that are actually well-crafted, but sadly it's one of only two songs that I know by this band that I do like. Its original Dutch version, called "Dinge-dong" seems slightly better to me in a musical sense, but the pronunciation of its Dutch lyrics is more than slightly cringeworthy to me. I guess Brits cringe at the English lyrics version. My own nadir-of-musical-career must be the large amount of Shadows songs that I had to play in a band - right until we stopped our guitarist. BTW, co-incidentally, The Shadows became runners-up to Teach-In in the 1975 Eurovision Contest. Whodathought! Edited November 15, 2017 by BassTractor Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discreet Posted November 15, 2017 Share Posted November 15, 2017 15 hours ago, rushbo said: Ding a dong. What's not to like? It has 'dong' in the title. Chortle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MoonBassAlpha Posted November 15, 2017 Share Posted November 15, 2017 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Jack Posted November 16, 2017 Share Posted November 16, 2017 23 hours ago, Delberthot said: We have a rare social club gig this weekend and I already know what gems we will be asked to play: Things You're going to be asked to play things? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Jack Posted November 16, 2017 Share Posted November 16, 2017 23 hours ago, Delberthot said: We have a rare social club gig this weekend and I already know what gems we will be asked to play: Sweet Caroline A few years back we were offered a pub gig in a rural village, but only on condition that we played Sweet Caroline. We assumed that this was intended to be humorous but we rehearsed the song anyway and went to the gig ready to take the piss all the way through. Hit the opening notes and ... the entire pub froze, stopped whatever they were doing, stood up, and sang along to the entire song. It was the pub's song, and every band who played there had to be able to play Sweet Caroline. I imagine there was a back story to it, but we fled into the night without discovering it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discreet Posted November 16, 2017 Share Posted November 16, 2017 22 minutes ago, Happy Jack said: I imagine there was a back story to it, but we fled into the night without discovering it. God, how many times have I done that!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
martthebass Posted November 16, 2017 Share Posted November 16, 2017 On 14/11/2017 at 15:17, Cato said: Blue hasn't posted since just before the site went down for the upgrade. I fear we may have to send out a search party. Or maybe he's been busy with that gunfight. Has Blue become Bluewine? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discreet Posted November 16, 2017 Share Posted November 16, 2017 2 minutes ago, martthebass said: Has Blue become Bluewine? Yes. He must have had some kind of religious conversion. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpondonBassed Posted November 16, 2017 Share Posted November 16, 2017 13 minutes ago, martthebass said: Has Blue become Bluewine? Yes. I think he's become a Goth too. His Avatar is now just a black dot on a black background inside a circle with a black outline. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpondonBassed Posted November 16, 2017 Share Posted November 16, 2017 Or is it really dark blue? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discreet Posted November 16, 2017 Share Posted November 16, 2017 It could be blue, blue, electric blue - that's the colour of my room, where I will live. Blue, blue. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
taunton-hobbit Posted November 16, 2017 Share Posted November 16, 2017 In total desperation I played Hot Chocolate 'You Sexy Thing' to a New Years Eve party of the living dead. It worked - for about two minutes, until some ba8tard who had been boozing all day had a heart attack & killed the night for everyone - sad to say he survived (I'm all heart). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Jack Posted November 16, 2017 Share Posted November 16, 2017 Nope ... sorry ... once a thread includes an actual death on the dancefloor, nearly dead just doesn't cut it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevsy71 Posted November 16, 2017 Share Posted November 16, 2017 On 14/11/2017 at 02:27, discreet said: Remember, You're A Womble. Amen, brother! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpondonBassed Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 I was actually born in Wimbledon and I resemble that remark! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T-Bay Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 On 14/11/2017 at 15:53, discreet said: Maybe he had some kind of problem when the new site went live..? There have certainly been some... issues. He said it was password issues on another thread so guess he was logged in for ages and just forgot the password. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Raymondo Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 I have played many social clubs over the years featuring ta lot of the songs listed in this thread (no deaths thankfully) I can add Sailor a Petula Clarke song as particularly cringe worthy but probably the worst memory is of when we had no lead guitarist, but continued playing the same songs at gigs as when we did have one .. .including Hi Ho silver lining and ....All right now! No one ever complained that we didn't play the guitar solo. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Norris Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 I have a couple that it's difficult to choose between. We were booked to play in a night club on a Tuesday night. We didn't get very many Tuesday night gigs so took it. When we turned up the place was empty apart from bar staff. However we were assured that a coach party were on their way. Sure enough a coach eventually pulled into the car park and disgorged a crowd of middle aged/elderly folk. We thought it a little strange that most of the women seemed to be clutching plastic bags. They marched into the room, sat around the edge of the dance floor and got out their silver dancing shoes. Yes, we had a party of ballroom dancers! I'm still quite proud that we managed to blag our way through an evening of quicksteps, waltzes and foxtrots - we all had "showband" experience. Certainly not the night we had anticipated! The other was the time that we played at a wedding. Towards the end of the night there was a bit of a kerfuffle. It turned out that the brother of the groom had beaten his father unconscious. Police and ambulance were called and the whole venue was in lock down for a couple of hours. Oh, and the wedding we did where the only people to turn up were the bride, groom and maid of honour! Our trio were in danger of outnumbering the guests! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
martthebass Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 I play in a Glam Rock band. That is all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
interpol52 Posted November 17, 2017 Share Posted November 17, 2017 (edited) 16 hours ago, Happy Jack said: Nope ... sorry ... once a thread includes an actual death on the dancefloor, nearly dead just doesn't cut it. This happened to me too. Wedding around 1998. The bride's dad had a heart attack and died at the evening do on the dancefloor. Edited November 17, 2017 by interpol52 grammar, as always Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.gif.9ad672bb8b84505709f76b39c8c256ec.gif)
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.