I quit the band today

[RAY AGAINST THE MACHINE]

Well,as with most bands ,there's always a long story. So I'll try to condense it
We aim to rehearse every 2 weeks. But it's often 3,4,5 weeks. We learn the set,suggest others,
and put some 'on the back burner'.

O f course, with such an arrangement wires get crossed,with some songs totally forgotten about,and others learnt.
And some of the band know the songs and are ready,others are not.

Anyhow the reason everything's gone sour is threefold. First of all, guitarman b starts having digs at the singer at times in certain songs.
(not aggressive, just alittle too sarcastic)
Second thing is, I have had a terrible year (who hasn't ? ) I was at a stage a couple of months back when my brother
moved in permanently into my flat(soon to be ours) and I only touched the bass about twice in 6weeks.
(our rehearsals were less frequent then ,through other band members so I was very weak on the new stuff).

We did 2 gigs recently and I had to go look after my mum for a week the morning after my last one. I/we were on a high.
Got back to heathrow,and find mr.drums quits. He cancelled on a booking we made ,as his band were on at the same night elsewhere.
I managed to keep it going and got him to reconsider. He was annoyed by Guitarman a 's email reply.
I know it was a bad error ,but mr.drums didn't mean it and we bassplayers are mellow .

I got shouted at by guitarman a , because I found it hard going learning what I'd call a difficult song. I knew about 80% and he goes in a strop.

So, if there are issues to be sorted , why didn't the band bring them up? Apart from that song,I got the rest pretty much
spot on ,apart from a brief les dawson moment. The guitarists made a few mistakes today,also we changed the key of one of our songs
on the spot ,as guitarist b wanted to try it. At our last gig,guitarman a lost his capo ,and we had to swap songs around.

Just received an email from the drummer asking me to consider,telling me I'm too sensitive and guitarman a is blunt as a person.

But if I'm playing with hens instead of friendly people , I think it's best to quit.

[Telebass]

Doesn't sound a pleasant place to be...hope something works out.

[leonshelley01]

If you're not enjoying it, best to call it a day. I recently left a band under similar circumstances, rehearsals had became a real chore and dreaded due to endless arguing. I have now formed a new band with some real mates and rehearsals are a laugh, learning new songs and starting to gig again.

[RAY AGAINST THE MACHINE]

Thanks guys. Well ,I think what you all say is true. To be honest,it's only after the last week or so that everything's got out of hand.
They're a nice bunch really ,but I don't think the bass is taken seriously enough. Just because I'm placid, I shouldn't
be shown less respect than other band members. As was mentioned above.. the les dawson notes are definitely heard more on bass.
The guitarists do quite a few themselves,and I think the crux of todays problem was that I get crucified for not learning a song
on time,and the guitars made quite a few mistakes today.

Finding bands near me is difficult ,and mr. drums is/was a great chauffer Might offload some gear soon.

Edited October 24, 2010 by RAY AGAINST THE MACHINE

[thunderbird13]

[quote name='RAY AGAINST THE MACHINE' post='999157' date='Oct 24 2010, 07:15 PM']First of all, guitarman b starts having digs at the singer at times in certain songs.
(not aggressive, just alittle too sarcastic).............


I got shouted at by guitarman a , because I found it hard going learning what I'd call a difficult song. I knew about 80% and he goes in a strop.[/quote]

Sounds like both guitarists have an ego problem. Well done on you for having the courage to walk out of what sounds like a toxic situation

[essexbasscat]

Makes room for you to move on to better things, band partners that inspire your own performance etc

T

[Doctor J]

Once it stops being fun, move on.

[RAY AGAINST THE MACHINE]

[quote name='thunderbird13' post='999255' date='Oct 24 2010, 08:10 PM']Sounds like both guitarists have an ego problem. Well done on you for having the courage to walk out of what sounds like a toxic situation[/quote]

Thanks Not new for guitarists to have ego's. There was talk of a band meeting,and we had enough time imho
to talk today between our 2 sets today. Instead Guitar a makes me scapegoat imho

[leschirons]

You made the right choice. Out there, somewhere, is a band of musos who will be easy to get on with, have no egos and understand what give & take means.

[RAY AGAINST THE MACHINE]

[quote name='essexbasscat' post='999266' date='Oct 24 2010, 08:15 PM']Makes room for you to move on to better things, band partners that inspire your own performance etc

T[/quote]

Trying to find someone who appreciates Steptoe & son and Hawaii five o could be difficult.

[RAY AGAINST THE MACHINE]

[quote name='Doctor J' post='999285' date='Oct 24 2010, 08:21 PM']Once it stops being fun, move on.[/quote]

True

[RAY AGAINST THE MACHINE]

[quote name='leschirons' post='999291' date='Oct 24 2010, 08:23 PM']You made the right choice. Out there, somewhere, is a band of musos who will be easy to get on with, have no egos and understand what give & take means.[/quote]

Well, it was like that.. they were like that... but then?? What happened??

Thanks tho'

[nick]

By coincidence I quit my band last night too!

Plenty of other bands around, something better will turn up.
Good idea to register with bandmix, musofinder, join my band, etc.. Updating my profile this evening.

Good luck mate.

[RAY AGAINST THE MACHINE]

[quote name='nick' post='999310' date='Oct 24 2010, 08:27 PM']By coincidence I quit my band last night too!

Plenty of other bands around, something better will turn up.
Good idea to register with bandmix, musofinder, join my band, etc.. Updating my profile this evening.

Good luck mate.[/quote]

Thanx Hope you weren't suffering too much. My year's been crap ,and this is just another chunk of bad luck.
I'll probably leave it till new year now,but thanks for the info.
Good luck to you also.

Cheers

[essexbasscat]

[quote name='RAY AGAINST THE MACHINE' post='999294' date='Oct 24 2010, 08:24 PM']Trying to find someone who appreciates Steptoe & son and Hawaii five o could be difficult.[/quote]


Learnt those a while ago and still play them when the time's right, including Steptoe and Son or Flash Harry (from St Trinians) when the guitarist is returning to the stage.

Also learnt Hole in the Ground by Bernard Cribbins including all the lyrics a short while ago as a stand alone number. Think I'll leave that one off the set list if I ever get to play Wembley (Yeah right !)

T

[lemmywinks]

[quote name='Doctor J' post='999285' date='Oct 24 2010, 08:21 PM']Once it stops being fun, move on.[/quote]


Another +1 on this.

Some of the best nights out i've had have been playing in a group where everyone gets on and has a laugh. I've been in bands before where there's arguments and egos, definitely not doing it again

[cameltoe]

Move on dude, sounds like you made the right choice.
Too many guitarists think playing bass is 'easy'. These are the guitarists you should avoid. Any guitarist who's been around a while and been in a few decent bands knows there's a lot more to playing bass than hitting the root note at the right time. Learning new songs can be a bit of a challenge, and unless you have a symbiotic relationship with the drummer (which in one of my bands I have, in the other I don't) it can sound well out-of whack until you both get your heads round it as one unit.

Move on and play with real musicians. Best of luck.

[AndyTravis]

Our keys player left via E-Mail this afternoon.

Can't say I blame her, i'm off playing with a covers band for a 50th this coming Saturday, and if the gig goes well, i may be doing the same as her.

Our band hasn't done anything productive for a good few months, which is a real shame.

Singer and Guitarist own a pub and a Restraunt together, two of us have young families, and there are/were meant to be 7 of us.

It's a pain with varying levels of commitment, and truly f***ing awful communication. I just want to play music, covers/originals/funk/jazz/pop/rock/punk/blues, whatever as long as it's music, and i'm playing bass.

Bands are good as long as they keep regular and busy, and as mentioned above, are still having fun.

[Delberthot]

I'll be leaving my band at the end of the year - they just dont know it yet

We get together to gig and that's it - no rehearsal, no promotion, no discussing new tunes etc

We're no longer a band and more like 4 sessions musicians who turn up to play at various events - if we weren't so bloody talented it would've all came crashing down ages ago

Shame - been together for 14 years

[Lozz196]

[quote name='cameltoe' post='999444' date='Oct 24 2010, 09:56 PM']Move on dude, sounds like you made the right choice.
Too many guitarists think playing bass is 'easy'. These are the guitarists you should avoid. Any guitarist who's been around a while and been in a few decent bands knows there's a lot more to playing bass than hitting the root note at the right time. Learning new songs can be a bit of a challenge, and unless you have a symbiotic relationship with the drummer (which in one of my bands I have, in the other I don't) it can sound well out-of whack until you both get your heads round it as one unit.

Move on and play with real musicians. Best of luck.[/quote]

+1 to this. The guitarist in my old band is now playing bass, and - a real admission from this guy - he said he didn`t know what I was on abt, the bass being an essential part of the band, until he started playing it, and up to then just thought it was what people who couldn`t play guitar played.

[JTUK]

If you say there are no prospects in Twickenham, London..???? I'd go to the meeting to see what could be thrashed out, and I'd probably be waiting for the gtr to stick his neck out and then let him have it..you have quit anyway, so unless you can recover ground that has ben lost, and the gtr seems to like being a blunt person to this band, then you have nothing to loose and everything to gain if you can turn back a page or two.

I would tell them this is a warts and all meeting where people air exactly what they think. You might as well know what you are up against..but you ALL need to be big enough to survive not getting off scot-free with people saying what they

think..
However you might not want to do this, and if that is the case, best of out of it.

Sometimes clear the air sessions work as long as you can work through them and no one member gets high-sided by the rest of the band too much.

[lojo]

Is there a band politics section ?


I think it would be good to have one, ok there would be plenty of venting, but it might help to odd person go and do some good within their group finding solutions

Where there is more than one person involved with anything, politics come in, all being open and aware of each other desires and expectations is important, but far easier said than done

Edited October 25, 2010 by lojo

[RAY AGAINST THE MACHINE]

Thanks again for all your kind comments guys. Yes, I think these guitarists do think that' bass is easy'.
Received email from mr. Drums asking me to reconsider,and from mr. Vocals who wants me to
help him with the gigs booked for 2/3 weeks time respectively. Nothing from guitarists(the halo is stopping them from reaching the
pc screen). Mr vocals is away till Friday,and wants an answer before then. I won't do anything unless guitarists ask me nicely.(doubt it somehow)

If they wanna have band meeting,then I'll let them ask me. If the guitarists aren't bothered,then let one of them play bass.
I know one thing for sure, the audiences won't get the dynamic stage poses and messing around which I provide for a laugh
Just a moody guitarist playing bass. Why is it imho guitarists who start this crap??

[Cat Burrito]

I'm also at that stage of having fun with my parents so can relate. Ultimately for me music is a hobby, albeit one that I take very seriously. If a band is doing my head in, I would walk away. In fact this applies to things in general. Work pays my mortgage so I tolerate fools but if a band started to become a hassle, I'd leave. The reality is we don't always have time to learn songs 100% of the time. If you have a busy / stressful job (& most of us do) plus other family commitments etc I think most bands get a far greater commitment than they should. Plus if he's not learnt the song 100%, he doesn't know the song. Just because he knows it better than you doesn't mean he can give you a hard time. You acknoweldge a personality clash. If you can deal with it, deal with it, if you can't don't. Between my Mum's Alzheimer's, my constant check ups at the local cancer hospital and 300 other factors I won't go in to, I simply won't suffer fools if it isn't benefiting me! And if anyone wants to think less of me because of it, I couldn't care less! There is a lot more in life than a few tunes and a small cult following. Just don't tell my wife!

[quote name='RAY AGAINST THE MACHINE' post='1000268' date='Oct 25 2010, 06:03 PM']Yes, I think these guitarists do think that' bass is easy'.[/quote]
I get this but we have a lot of capo songs and it's amazing how great sounding musicians come very unstuck when the position is changed. I tend to be the go-to-guy for the "what key are we playing in?" question

[LukeFRC]

tis one of the reasons why I left my band, two hour practice of listening to the keyboardist (the main instrument) play with really really sloppy timimg (to a drum machine) and then moan at the one time i get the chorus and bridge muddled (which means i am playing a 5th instead of root, so not the end of the world) whats the point?