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lou24d53

I'm turning into an insomniac after band rehearsals!!

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Posted (edited)

This has been getting significantly worse for me over the last few months..

We rehearse every Monday night, 6pm to 9pm in Glasgow, I'm generally home around 9.30pm or just after...I feel fine every night when I get home, I can't say I feel wound up or over adrenaline-ised for want of a better word, but as soon as I go to bed and the light's out, my whole mentality changes...if I don't fall asleep relatively quickly - which I never really do to be honest at the best of times - then the mind starts working overtime, snowballing with absolutely random [email protected] until it's going absolutely mental, throwing all sorts of utterly random nonsense in...

Tonight I've had everything from thinking about the bass runs I'm playing...to the "Bing Bang Bing, Bing Bang Boo, Bing Bang Bingly Bongly Boo" song off Peppa Pig...I've a 20 month old son!...to The Cure's "The Head On The Door" album...to thinking about Hipshot string through bridges...which I actually then felt utterly compelled to Google at around 3am!!......then work pops in......"I need to do this, still to do that, that's due then"......then I start thinking "aw sh!t, I'm up in 4...3...2...1...hours "...

It's mental, I just don't know how to switch off.

I started off in the main bed at 10.30pm, before getting up and going through the back just after 1.00am.. I then got up and went downstairs around 2.30am for some water and to sit for a bit, try to 'reset'...back to bed...now I'm thinking about Hipshot bridges (!!??)

I seem to have 'lost' an hour somewhere between 4.00am and 5.30am, so can only assume I've passed out for that time...but now I'm back awake, the birds outside telling me my chance of catching anything more are doomed...

Aaaaaaaaaaaargh...today will be powered by coffee...😨😨

And this is happening every (well, most) Monday's now, to the point where its it's now becoming something I'm dreading and making into a...'thing'..............

 

Edited by lou24d53

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Have you tried guided meditation? Ones specifically tailored towards sleep might help.

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Oh dear, that’s not good. Someone will probably be along who is more qualified, but I would suggest it’s not just the rehearsal that is the cause of this. It might just be the trigger that causes reflection on everything else that’s going on in what sounds like a very busy day to day. Hope you get that sorted. I would be on my knees by the end of the month.

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I was getting that for quite a while, I feel for you. I've had similar at various points in time, mainly while working in an environment full of bullying type behaviours and also being in a relationship that was falling apart. More recently with a happy home life I've had sleepless nights after band, I had a lot of work stress at the time, mainly through being frustrated with my job, undervalued, looking for a new job. But I did these band related things and they seemed to work:

Stopped having alcohol or sugary drinks and snacks at rehearsal, just water. Also reduces the amount of times I get up to pee before falling asleep!

Using ear plugs - I seriously think this helped me sleep after band as well as protecting my hearing;

Rehearse in the bigger room with good PA, it cost more but I wasn't pressed up against a PA speaker at high volumes getting severe headache from the crappy sound quality and volume and the rehearsal is all the better too;

Listening to "talk" radio on the way home instead of music;

Leave rehearsal happy. Even if the drummer is annoying you, the guitarist pulls out of next week's gig, whatever, sort stuff out to a compromise, have a chat and a joke before heading home. Less to play on the mind;

I don't leave kit in my car no matter how late or knackered I am. Then I'm not hearing the slightest noise outside and checking to see if someone is breaking in to my car;

Don't do anything that pisses off your other half when you get home... My wife is in bed when I get back and she hates it if I turn on the landing light. So I leave my PJs in the bathroom and use the torch on my phone to get upstairs. And I close the door quietly! 

That worked for me. Can't stop my calf muscles twitching from my dodgy "dancing" though but I manage to sleep through that!

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Most of that I'm already doing @uk_lefty...the two lines you've written about work though strike a chord, definitely.

I know myself that's probably the catalyst, especially with a few changes over the last couple months...and more to come...although nothing which currently has directly impacted upon me, but as someone who routinely overthinks things though, I'm finding myself looking at things, over analysing and envisaging what's 'going' to happen, at least in my mind, even though that's probably not going to materialize...I'm adding 2 and 2 and probably coming up with 17...but I just cant stop it...😨...

There's definitely work frustrations in there, I know that for a fact...the thing is, being there on a daily basis, whilst frustrating, it's otherwise manageable...it's the impact my overactive mind has on my wellbeing on the back of these frustrations I need to learn to deal with.

The strange thing is, the work thoughts didn't actually enter until late into my latest episode...had too many Peppa Pig songs and a full Cure album to get through first...😧😂

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Posted (edited)

Some good advice above. 

Due to health issues affecting sleep I needed to look into this a while back and was excepted on an expensive sleep course FOC. It correlated with a book and journals I read, so though I’m not an expert I caught the gist of it. 

The issues as you’ve stated sounds like you haven’t had enough wind down time before bed, particularly as band rehearsals are very stimulating. Every case is different, but in general the tips below could help you. 

- After you get home, don’t attempt to go to bed for at least 1.25 hours.  

- Spend that time doing something that is relaxing, and definitely avoiding anything stimulating. Guided meditation is good, as long it’s not some of the crap being released these days to jump on the band wagon. Even sitting on the couch reflecting on the day is good, but wind that down before going to bed, perhaps with the meditations or something else that relaxes you. 

- Avoid regular lighting, the blue light in it will stimulate you. So either use candles or if you have something like Phillips Hue use the soft light. Don’t forget, when you go to bed, don’t turn on bright lights in the hallway or bathroom, that’ll re-stimulate you. 

- Avoid all technology, your phone, iPad, TV etc...

- Avoid alcohol and eating. 

- Your body can cope with a bad sleep here and there each week, so keep that in mind when your worried that you’re not sleeping. 

- Stop looking at the time, ideally cover up the clock in your bedroom. 

- If you’ve been in bed for what feels like up to half an hour, and you’re still wired, then get up and sit quietly in a comfortable room. Perhaps have a little blanket  to hand. Go back to bed when you feel sleepy. 

- Basically, get yourself into a routine that covers the points above! 

Good luck 

 

 

Edited by Chiliwailer
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Thanks @Chiliwailer, good advice, I'll maybe need to start reading more,  get into it for an hour again before bed.

I've never considered actually I'm trying to go to bed too soon either...seems obvious in hindsight...! 👍

 

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5 minutes ago, lou24d53 said:

Thanks @Chiliwailer, good advice, I'll maybe need to start reading more,  get into it for an hour again before bed.

I've never considered actually I'm trying to go to bed too soon either...seems obvious in hindsight...! 👍

 

Perhaps be mindful with reading, some people find it stimulating, especially if it’s a good book. Problem with that, is though it might send some people off to sleep, if at that point they are stimulated rather then relaxed then the brain won’t switch off during sleep - so if you wake for any reason (toilet, comfort etc.) then it’ll be harder to go back to sleep. Same can be said for TV. It’s not a problem for everyone, just those with a sleep problem. 

Ultimately, only you know if it’ll be stimulating of relaxing...

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1 hour ago, lou24d53 said:

know myself that's probably the catalyst, especially with a few changes over the last couple months...and more to come...although nothing which currently has directly impacted upon me, but as someone who routinely overthinks things though, I'm finding myself looking at things, over analysing and envisaging what's 'going' to happen, at least in my mind, even though that's probably not going to materialize...I'm adding 2 and 2 and probably coming up with 17...but I just cant stop it...😨...

I hope whatever is going on all gets sorted quickly and you come out on top! These things do tend to snowball in your mind and when you come in the next day dreading seeing someone it never turns in to the argument involving you throwing stuff at them and walking out, no matter how many times it's like that in your head!

When my wife and I got together sleepless nights through stress was one of many things I was struggling with. She brought me some lavender oil to put on my pillow. It really worked for me and lasts ages, still got the same bottle now. 

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I struggle with this too. 

Until recently we tended to rehearse until about 10.30ish, and I’d be home about 11, but it was always difficult to sleep afterwards, and after a gig I’d be in around 1am, but wouldn’t be asleep until 2.30/3am. I generally have to sit down, maybe watch some tv or read a book for half an hour or so.

I think it’s in part the adrenaline from performing, and then the quite stressful load outs too. 

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@Chiliwailer has delivered some excellent advice here, but I'd just like to repeat the one about not staying in bad if you can't sleep. You need to train your brain to associate bed with "I'm in bed therefore I must be tired and sleeping". No watching TV, no reading, especially no phone browsing! 

Are you using a blue light filter on your phone in the evenings? It's not a perfect solution but might be of some help.

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2 hours ago, lou24d53 said:

 

Tonight I've had everything from thinking about the bass runs I'm playing...to the "Bing Bang Bing, Bing Bang Boo, Bing Bang Bingly Bongly Boo" song off Peppa Pig...I've a 20 month old son!...to The Cure's "The Head On The Door" album...to thinking about Hipshot string through bridges...which I actually then felt utterly compelled to Google at around 3am!!......then work pops in......"I need to do this, still to do that, that's due then"......then I start thinking "aw sh!t, I'm up in 4...3...2...1...hours "... 

 

 

 

I get the 'Iggle Piggle' song stuck in my head..........nearly as bad as Peppa.

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If I struggle do sleep I do slow, deep breathing, really focusing on it. I guess it's a kind of meditation. It always works

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There's much better advice above than anything I can give as I don't normally have problems sleeping, but I definitely agree about not going to bed too soon after getting in.  I normally have an hour or two just chilling out on my own afterwards.  Play computer games or watch something rubbish on the telly that doesn't require too much thought (normally at that time it's Family Guy or American Dad) to relax and have a beer and maybe a bite to eat.  Then go to bed when I'm tired otherwise I'll just be laying there trying to suppress the ringing in my ears and thinking that I've gone to bed too early.

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Another vote for some kind of meditation. There are numerous meditation apps available featuring all types of meditation, including ones for sleep. Basically, the idea is to sit still, breathe deeply and slowly, allowing thoughts to come and go, without getting carried away with them. Try it for a few minutes to start, then  after some practice, build up the time gradually. 

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Post gig or rehearsal I never go to bed until  I feel I'm ready to switch off. I know I wont sleep so I don't fight it.  I don't worry about getting a few hours less and just give in to it. I probably sleep more soundly as a result albeit less hours.  This is based on a no stress or "meh" gig/rehearsal.  Will watch tv or play  xbox and have a beer.

If somethings playing on my mind though, and that could be anything from a music thing to day to day life then most likely that will keep me up regardless.  No helpful advise on how to solve that but maybe it helps that its not just you.

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I always used to get this - not stress, more the adrenaline from rehearsing, that my brain was fully switched on from practicing and wouldn't switch off.  And other band mates tell me the same thing.

Never really solved it but it went away - the next band I was in rehearsed at weekends, specifically weekend afternoons, so that was never an issue by the time I got home, and the last lot I practiced with in the evening left me with a two hour trip home afterwards so my brain had plenty of time to slow down before I got to my bed.

The only thing worth passing on was telling myself not to worry about it.  If it's two in the morning, lying there thinking "go to sleep, go to sleep, I need to get some sleep!" does not help, but accepting that I'm going to be a bit tired tomorrow seems to have better results.  perhaps easier said than done

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1 hour ago, Monkey Steve said:

If it's two in the morning, lying there thinking "go to sleep, go to sleep, I need to get some sleep!" does not help, but accepting that I'm going to be a bit tired tomorrow seems to have better results.  perhaps easier said than done

That's the thing, lying there putting pressure on yourself 'cause your still awake...so what, a potential hour or two lost is neither here nor there in the grand scheme of things...but in the loneliness of 3am in the morning, your mind thinks totally irrational thoughts.

The one offs I can deal with...the issue I'm worried about is that I've started now expecting it to happen every Monday.

I actually feel like I'm almost willing it on to an extent due to an anxiety or an expectation based from the previous weeks.

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55 minutes ago, lou24d53 said:

 

I actually feel like I'm almost willing it on to an extent due to an anxiety or an expectation based from the previous weeks.

Behaviourists pretty much believe that's how we form habits etc. So don't feel bad about that, it's quite natural as an immediate response. 

A planned change of routine, as in my first post, can help change those anxieties and expectations.

Adding in some helpful thoughts to challenge the unhelpful ones would be useful. Like you pretty much said, the mind can exaggerate things irrationally in the early hours, totally blowing them out of perspective, so tools to address that are very helpful. Mindfulness is good to alleviate this for example. 

 

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I've been doing this for a few years and I always bank on a 2 hour wind-down from when I get home after a gig. That doesn't start after the gig but when I shut the front door.

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I'd be surprised if every BC-er in a band hasn't experienced this to a greater or lesser extent.  I always have, but as an NHS worker frequently doing evening and night shifts I'm pretty much used to it as an occupational hazard anyway.  Anything that disrupts your normal sleeping routine basically stuffs your sleep.   I generally find a totally knackered night doesn't affect me the day after so much, but catches up the day after that, and I figure the body eventually knows how to catch up with what it needs.

Some really good advice above; in particular it took me a while to learn not to go to bed too soon after coming home from practice / gig, but allow plenty of chilling time - for me that's a cup of tea, Classic FM,  and a good book (how rock n' roll...... B|) but different strokes for different folks.     TV to be avoided, especially the Sky adult channels......;)

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I've suffered with this for as long as I can remember and I am 48. Regardless of being in a band or not, as soon as my head hits the pillow, my mind goes into irrational thoughts and starts processing ideas, thoughts and total nonsense. I can be literally falling asleep in front of the TV or hardly able to keep my eyes open but as soon as my head hits that pillow, my mind switches on. It got so bad that when I went on tour, I would take a bottle of whiskey with me and have a glass before bed to make me sleepy but after a while the glass got bigger and bigger until I was pouring it into pint glasses. At that point I realised it was no longer having any effect.

For me sometimes, it's like the day is not long enough so I'm just not tired when it's late. I also tend to become wide awake at around 9pm. I can be sleepy all day but as soon as the evening comes then I wake up and I'm raring to go at 9pm. I put this down to 30 years of gigging so getting up late morning and then gigging in the evening and going to bed in the early hours. 

I think one of the big factors for me is the change in body clock. I seem very sensitive to any changes in this, even an hour can have a huge impact. I always try and avoid anything too heavy at work on a Monday as chances are I'll have a late night on Friday/Saturday and get up later than a work day on the Sunday. So when I go to bed on Sunday I'm never tired and never sleep much. Sometimes I'll even set an alarm clock on Sunday an hour later than a normal work day just to try and kick start my body clock. I'll be tired all day in the hope I will fall asleep quickly Sunday night but it doesn't always work. I also find that I feel worse and suffer the most with sleep when the clocks change for winter. When they change for spring it's literally like flicking a switch and I feel so much better. More energy, less lethargic, less sleepy and more positive. 

One thing I try and do during the week is be in bed before midnight. I try and aim for 11pm. Physiologically I'm told that going to before before midnight is telling youself this is the end of the day and if you go past midnight, it can muck you body clock up as you are into the next day. So I don't know what the answer is but I have always suffered with this. I like the idea of not turning lights on before bed as this can re-stimulate you. I'm guilty of doing this so I will give this a try. Oh, and something I read about last week is to not eat a large meal at night, especially carbs as this will release energy slowly when you should be try to sleep. You're better of eating a larger meal at lunch and smaller in the evening.

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Posted (edited)

Nothing worse than bad sleep. I manage to get two nights a year when I sleep 7 hours without waking. The rest I'm awake multiple times and often get 4-5 hours of sleep still waking up. 

Fresh air in bedroom, clean cold bedding, ear plugs and eye mask helps. I've tried magnesium oil spray. You've got to use a lot and it's rather expensive but works.

Also found hot milk on empty ish stomach helpful.

Edited by SH73
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Posted (edited)

When I had a 9 to 5 I had the horrendous cycle of no sleep, followed by a day at work literally flooding coffee into myself, followed by no sleep, followed by flooding coffee into myself, followed by....

Horrendous. Really affects you.

However, once I went self employed and didn't need the pressure of getting up at 7am after being up until 4am I found a solution.

It may sound daft, but hopefully it will help. And it's the oldest thing known to man.

Instead of letting your brain run riot, what's the best way to stop it? Listen to something. As kids it was always bedtime stories or nursery rhymes. Now, for the last 4 years I've been listening to podcasts (karl pilkington / Joe Rogan etc) every night on headphones, and I'm off to sleep in no time. I believe it's simply because it stops my mind from thinking and starts my mind listening.

Interestingly when I'm away and I've forgotten my podcasts or mp3 player, my mind goes into over drive and I'm up all night.

I know lots of people who listen to podcasts or YouTube at night and it really works.

Try it if nothing else works. You never know.

Edited by la bam
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