Auditions in Hell

[MoonBassAlpha]

Good luck with the gig, should be great!

[Happy Jack]

Sounds like a great gig, but watch for the band politics - you'll still be the new boy in that band in five years' time ...

[oldbass]

Cheers guys....and I know what u mean re politics, plus the simple fact that they really know their stuff.

Guess it's always a bit awkward when u join a bunch who are basically lifetime mates.....just gotta play all the right notes in all the right places, then rinse and repeat!.......we'll see.

 

[Luckystrike]

15 hours ago, uk_lefty said:

Frighteningly familiar. Nice enough bloke but very little self awareness, would grate after a while though not meaning any harm, just excited like a puppy. 

Might have been the same guy - small world 😃

[uk_lefty]

8 hours ago, Luckystrike said:

Might have been the same guy - small world 😃

I did recently (within the last nine months) see him at my bands rehearsal space in Stevenage, spending forty odd minutes trying to get the staff to find him the most random little drum bits while a bored bassist and guitarist jammed away. We made that knowing eye contact and then I avoided him to save us both from the awkwardness.

[bassix]

I have all this to look forward to, we're after a new drummer.. Any suggestions on places to look beyond gumtree?

[LegateNaarifin]

51 minutes ago, bassix said:

I have all this to look forward to, we're after a new drummer.. Any suggestions on places to look beyond gumtree?

JoinMyBand has a pretty decently sized user base, as always drummers are in short supply but it's worth a shot

[Happy Jack]

And as always JMB is absolutely stuffed with flakes & fantasists, plus it has arguably the worst search engine in the entire history of IT.

I still use it occasionally because, as you say, it has a large user base, but it ain't fun and it sure ain't pretty.

No idea where you are Bassix but you may have a decent jamming / open mic scene near you.

[Woodinblack]

14 minutes ago, Happy Jack said:

And as always JMB is absolutely stuffed with flakes & fantasists, plus it has arguably the worst search engine in the entire history of IT.

I still use it occasionally because, as you say, it has a large user base, but it ain't fun and it sure ain't pretty.

I have joined a couple of bands from it, so I still use it, but yes, it is full of the sort of bands that will never get anywhere, although they are easy to spot, and yes the search engine is so frustrating, I always have to do a look at both counties that I straddle the border from, even though a search by distance would be good. But it is the most popular so the busiest.

Bandmix never seemed to me to be something that knew what it was - it has a geographical search by distance that is very stupid. Yes, bandmix, Cardiff is less than 35miles from Yeovil if you ignore the huge expanse of water in the way

[bassix]

Thanks for the replies, I've joined up to JMB and I've added a couple of ads in the nearest counties. A load of views and no responses seems to be the way thus far. 

Off to some kind of musicians mixer tonight to find band members, hopefully no keys in bowls!!

[FinnDave]

2 minutes ago, bassix said:

Thanks for the replies, I've joined up to JMB and I've added a couple of ads in the nearest counties. A load of views and no responses seems to be the way thus far. 

Off to some kind of musicians mixer tonight to find band members, hopefully no keys in bowls!!

I know JMB gets some bad press here, but I've played getting on for 200 gigs over the last few years with a band I found there, it's not just flakes and fantasists, there are some good people there as well.

[Bigwan]

5 minutes ago, FinnDave said:

I know JMB gets some bad press here, but I've played getting on for 200 gigs over the last few years with a band I found there, it's not just flakes and fantasists, there are some good people there as well.

Mostly because there aren't many alternatives!

[FinnDave]

11 minutes ago, Bigwan said:

Mostly because there aren't many alternatives!

That's true enough. apart from the band I joined through JMB, I'm in another playing similar music with people I met through local jam sessions, and another I was asked to audition for via a facebook contact. I didn't have time to learn any of their material (48 hours notice and two gigs to do before the audition, one of which was first time out with a new band), so listened to a CD of the original band they cover to refresh my memory, then busked it. Been with them nearly 6 months now.

 

[Luckystrike]

5 hours ago, FinnDave said:

I know JMB gets some bad press here, but I've played getting on for 200 gigs over the last few years with a band I found there, it's not just flakes and fantasists, there are some good people there as well.

All the bands I've joined (apart from the first one as a teenager) were through JMB. There are plenty of chancers, but it's easy to see who's serious and who has sound clips/video, a grasp of the English language etc. In fairness to the chancers, most of them know it and are fairly up front about being a pop punk band who only got a guitar 6 months ago!

5 hours ago, Bigwan said:

Mostly because there aren't many alternatives!

I think that helps to funnel the good people on there despite the daft ones. It's a small price to pay - if one in 10 people are worth talking to but 30 people respond that's 3 people worth the effort

[BigRedX]

Of the two bands I'm playing with currently, I found one through JMB, and the other because I was a fan and was following their Facebook page and saw that they were looking for a bass player.

[T-Bay]

Not an audition for a band, but a band audition for a lucrative pub chain gig run locally. They ask you to do a twenty minute set to see if you fit what they want. We went along after having been told that all kit except instruments was provided, it was but it was far from the best. We then played to a total of about ten people, not one under seventy. So our set of heavy alternative and hard rock went down well as you could imagine. I then had an issue with the amp cutting out so missed most of the last two songs. There was virtually no monitoring on stage so sound was really hard to judge. That all combined to put us well out of our comfort zone and we were pretty crap if I am honest. The next band on had had similar experiences in the past and brought all their own kit. Not sure we will bother to try again. It’s a shame as I have been to a few gigs at their chain and our set would go down well.

[lozkerr]

Sometimes good things come from bad auditions. I've been trying to find a band desperate enough to want me, and had some ...interesting... experiences. 

Audition 1: answered an ad on JMB for a blues group. I tell them how long I've been playing - not all that long - as I want to be honest up front. I do a bit of recruiting in the day job, and know how narked I get when confronted with bovine manure. Better to be straight with them from the off. Anyway, he replies, telling me that there's a drummer lined up, plus someone on blues harp and maybe keys too. Could I learn a couple of songs and pop round for a twang?

Rightio. I turn up at the BL's house and am treated to half an hour's talking about his guitar collection before we get down to business. He's provided an amp - an ancient Vox gee-tar amp that didn't look much younger than me. Hm. I'd have brought the Eden if I'd known. But I crank the low end and off we go. He's hunched over his chord chart and doesn't look up. With no drummer to lock in with, some eye contact might have been helpful. He then chases me out of the house before his wife gets back. Hmmmm. Then about a week later, I get a 'thanks but no thanks' email. Meh. Think I dodged a bullet there.

Audition 2: answered an ad on JMB for a rock covers band. Again, I'm up front about my level of experience. I get their set list - wow! Fabulous! - and learn half a dozen songs, as requested. Then the audition's brought forward a week. Great. But I rock up at the appointed time - to a studio this time - to find that the BL was struggling with one of the songs I'd learnt and had to teach the singer one of the others. Oh dear. But the rest sounded good, although at the end of the evening, they said they thought it was beyond me to learn everything on the list before their next gig. They were quite decent about it though, so fair enough.

Audition 3: answered an ad on JMB for another rock covers band. As before, I make it clear how much I do and don't know. I learn the requested songs and turn up to a slightly less-than-ideal studio - bare wooden floor, no sound insulation and a PA that didn't look much more powerful than my home stereo.

As I'm getting set up, a guitarist walks in; he's being auditioned too. He sets up his backline - a lovely Marshall valve amp. Then the BL arrives and sets up his backline. Then off we go. The PA just about copes, but after the first song, the BL says to me, 'it needs much more bass'. Well, I was standing in front of the amp and I could hear it OK, which meant he certainly could from the other side of the room. But no sweat, up went the volume to just under half and we launched into the next song.

Jesus.  My amp was making the room shake. I went to turn it down and the BL said ‘no, leave it, it’s just right’. The guitarist turned up his amp as it was being drowned by mine. Not wanting to be left out, the BL did the same and we went into song number three. This time, the weedy studio PA was completely overwhelmed; all I could do was lock in with the drummer and hope for the best. Then things started to go south when the BL started playing something a bit different before stopping to tell us that we needed to follow him. By now the volume was up well past 11 and the only way to follow him was by lip-reading. The next song fell apart when he missed out an eight-bar sequence from the intro. By now, the negative vibes were starting to creep in. At the end of the evening, the BL thanked us for coming and said ‘we’ll have a chat and we'll let you know’ in a sarky voice. So much for that, then. The guitarist and I compared notes outside and we both reckoned we wouldn’t hear from them again. We swapped numbers though, and decided we’d look at doing something together if it didn’t go anywhere.

After a week of radio silence, I pinged the guitarist a text and as expected, he hadn’t heard anything either. He then asked me if I was still up for getting together, as he had another guitarist and a singer who were interested. Oh, was I ever.

So a few days later, the three of us (the singer couldn’t make it) assembled in a very nice studio in Cranfield. What a difference! No attitude, a lot of fun and some great songs to play. The Stooges, Black Sabbath, the Undertones,  Tears For Fears, the Cult… all good stuff. Plus some originals that the guitarist had written that needed basslines added. I had a whale of a time, and when we decided to make a go of it at the end of the evening, I was on cloud nine.

So I did join a band from a terrible audition. Just not the one I originally went for!

Edited June 12, 2018 by lozkerr

[Stylon Pilson]

That's a great story, lozkerr. When you mentioned that the guitarist was also being auditioned, and turned up with a Marshall valve amp, I was thinking "oh dear, it's going to be one of these old chestnuts" but it ended up taking a very different turn! I'd guess that the BL has some hearing damage which is why he couldn't tell how excessively loud everything was. Was he wearing earplugs?

S.P.

Edited June 13, 2018 by Stylon Pilson

[Bluewine]

On 11/06/2018 at 14:38, T-Bay said:

Not an audition for a band, but a band audition for a lucrative pub chain gig run locally. They ask you to do a twenty minute set to see if you fit what they want. We went along after having been told that all kit except instruments was provided, it was but it was far from the best. We then played to a total of about ten people, not one under seventy. So our set of heavy alternative and hard rock went down well as you could imagine. I then had an issue with the amp cutting out so missed most of the last two songs. There was virtually no monitoring on stage so sound was really hard to judge. That all combined to put us well out of our comfort zone and we were pretty crap if I am honest. The next band on had had similar experiences in the past and brought all their own kit. Not sure we will bother to try again. It’s a shame as I have been to a few gigs at their chain and our set would go down well.

I've never quite understand the whole idea of auditioning for a bar or pub to book a gig. Usually it's where they want you to perform for free on a week night.

We've been a known gigging band for over 12 years. A few months ago we were asked to audition for a club. We diplomatically declined.

Blue

[PaulWarning]

7 minutes ago, Bluewine said:

I've never quite understand the whole idea of auditioning for a bar or pub to book a gig. Usually it's where they want you to perform for free on a week night.

We've been a known gigging band for over 12 years. A few months ago we were asked to audition for a club. We diplomatically declined.

Blue

that's fine if it's a band that's been going a while and built up a reputation but if it's a new band with not many gigs under their belt it may be worthwhile

[T-Bay]

2 hours ago, Bluewine said:

I've never quite understand the whole idea of auditioning for a bar or pub to book a gig. Usually it's where they want you to perform for free on a week night.

We've been a known gigging band for over 12 years. A few months ago we were asked to audition for a club. We diplomatically declined.

Blue

It was a twenty minute slot, if you ‘get in’ then you are looking at a booking a month at least at nearly double the going rate so worth doing. Just didn’t work for us but hey ho.

[TrevorR]

2 hours ago, Bluewine said:

I've never quite understand the whole idea of auditioning for a bar or pub to book a gig. Usually it's where they want you to perform for free on a week night.

We've been a known gigging band for over 12 years. A few months ago we were asked to audition for a club. We diplomatically declined.

Blue

Welcome to the UK Blue!!!!  The pub scene is so very very dysfunctional when it comes to booking bands...

[lozkerr]

11 hours ago, Stylon Pilson said:

I'd guess that the BL has some hearing damage which is why he couldn't tell how excessively loud everything was. Was he wearing earplugs?

No, but I wished I had been! Jesus, Lemmy would have been proud of the racket we made. He might have been a wee bit deaf, thinking back - at the end, we did a bit of a jam and he called a song I didn't know; I twice had to ask 'what's the key and chord progression' quite loudly. Hey-ho! 

[Bluewine]

5 hours ago, TrevorR said:

Welcome to the UK Blue!!!!  The pub scene is so very very dysfunctional when it comes to booking bands...

I would say our US bar scene also has elements of dysfunction.

Bar owners can be a strange lot. If it's a new venue for a band it's a good idea to be clear and direct with all your terms. Otherwise you never know what might happen.

" My boss told me your fee was $400.00 not $500.00"

Don't fall for that one, stick to your terms.

Blue

Edited June 14, 2018 by Bluewine

[Norris]

5 hours ago, Bluewine said:

" My boss told me your fee was $400.00 not $500.00"

That's not restricted to the US