DiMarco Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 "He's a jackass" -Obama Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skankdelvar Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 (edited) [size=5][b]KANYE WEST ANNOUNCES 'GROUND-BREAKING' 2016 TOUR[/b][/size] Following his acclaimed performance-free performance at Glastonbury, global uberstar Kanye West today announced plans for an 'innovative' 2016 world tour which will 'raise the bar even higher'. A spokesman said: 'The ground-breaking twist will be that Kanye won't actually be present at [i]any[/i] of the concerts nor will there be a musical performance of [i]any[/i] kind by anyone. For $150 a ticket Kanye's millions of devoted fans will be able to stand in an empty, stage-free, unseated venue where they can silently stare at each other in celebration of Kanye's genius. 'But Kanye hasn't forgotten those of his fans who can't afford $150 to see Kanye not perform. So Ticketmaster are offering a special $75* deal where - for 90 minutes - you can just [i]think[/i] about Kanye not performing - all in the comfort of your own home. And of course, you can do this on the date of your choosing. But not more than once, obviously, because that would be like bootlegging or whatnot'. [i]Ends[/i] [size=3]* $75.00 fee for the 'Just thinking about Kanye' package excludes booking charge, administration surcharge and postage.[/size] [color=#ffffff][size=3].[/size][/color] Edited June 29, 2015 by skankdelvar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny_Innie Posted June 29, 2015 Author Share Posted June 29, 2015 [quote name='LayDownThaFunk' timestamp='1435601453' post='2810482'] Well everyone is talking about him... [/quote] Yep. It was an event. Huge news the next day. Loadsa lovers, loadsa haters. That's what music is supposed to be about. Glasto 2015 was Kayne. Proper. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lowdown Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 Kayned proper - I agree. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timmo Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 [quote name='LayDownThaFunk' timestamp='1435601453' post='2810482'] Well everyone is talking about him... [/quote]Not much of it was positive though. This is probably the funniest review i have seen though. Apparently Bohemian Rhapsody was a highlight. I think it was written by his biggest fan http://consequenceofsound.net/2015/06/kanye-west-silences-the-critics-with-earth-shattering-glastonbury-performance/ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seashell Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 [quote name='skankdelvar' timestamp='1435607940' post='2810602'] [size=5][b]KANYE WEST ANNOUNCES 'GROUND-BREAKING' 2016 TOUR[/b][/size] Following his acclaimed performance-free performance at Glastonbury, global uberstar Kanye West today announced plans for an 'innovative' 2016 world tour which will 'raise the bar even higher'. A spokesman said: 'The ground-breaking twist will be that Kanye won't actually be present at [i]any[/i] of the concerts nor will there be a musical performance of [i]any[/i] kind by anyone. For $150 a ticket Kanye's millions of devoted fans will be able to stand in an empty, stage-free, unseated venue where they can silently stare at each other in celebration of Kanye's genius. 'But Kanye hasn't forgotten those of his fans who can't afford $150 to see Kanye not perform. So Ticketmaster are offering a special $75* deal where - for 90 minutes - you can just [i]think[/i] about Kanye not performing - all in the comfort of your own home. And of course, you can do this on the date of your choosing. But not more than once, obviously, because that would be like bootlegging or whatnot'. [i]Ends[/i] [size=3]* $75.00 fee for the 'Just thinking about Kanye' package excludes booking charge, administration surcharge and postage.[/size] [color=#ffffff][size=3].[/size][/color] [/quote] For an extra $40 can I think about drinking some flat champagne out of a plastic glass in a special VIP area? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skankdelvar Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 (edited) [quote name='seashell' timestamp='1435610233' post='2810650'] For an extra $40 can I think about drinking some flat champagne out of a plastic glass in a special VIP area? [/quote] Dear Ms Shell Because you've [i]already[/i] thought about drinking flat champagne out of a plastic glass in a special VIP area while thinking about Kanye West, remit immediately $177.50 within seven days to: Ticketmaster / 'Just thinking about Kanye West VIP package'. Please supply proof of age / ethnicity when making your payment (all major cards accepted). Best Lola Fatuous for Ticketmaster / K-West Inc [color=#ffffff].[/color] Edited June 29, 2015 by skankdelvar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Oopsdabassist Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 Skank you are...as ever... my absolute hero! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve-soar Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 It all started when Robbie Williams played, but he did have a great band and some catchy songs written by Guy Chambers. I suspect hippy Mike and his little girl saw the pound signs appear in their kitchen and thought "f*** milking cows, let's milk the public" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seashell Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 [quote name='skankdelvar' timestamp='1435612037' post='2810693'] Dear Ms Shell Because you've [i]already[/i] thought about drinking flat champagne out of a plastic glass in a special VIP area while thinking about Kanye West, remit immediately $177.50 within seven days to: Ticketmaster / 'Just thinking about Kanye West VIP package'. Please supply proof of age / ethnicity when making your payment (all major cards accepted). Best Lola Fatuous for Ticketmaster / K-West Inc [color=#ffffff].[/color] [/quote] Dear Ms Fatuous The cheque's in the post. I think that Kanye looks like a nice boy because he is clean and he doesn't play with nasty long-haired rock musicians. Or indeed musicians of any kind. I am a kindly middle aged lady from Surrey. I hope this does not invalidate my application. regards Shelley (Ms) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cato Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 [quote name='steve-soar' timestamp='1435612576' post='2810706'] It all started when Robbie Williams played, but he did have a great band and some catchy songs written by Guy Chambers. I suspect hippy Mike and his little girl saw the pound signs appear in their kitchen and thought "f*** milking cows, let's milk the public" [/quote] As to Glastonbury being a cash cow for the Eavis family I refer you to my previous post. I don't know whether Ms Eavis pays herself a wage for organising the festival but other than that the Eavis' receive a surprisingly small amount of cash for organising & hosting the festival. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gelfin Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 (edited) The BBC give up on subtitles. [url="http://s970.photobucket.com/user/gelfin5959/media/He%20raps_zpsxten5jf4.jpg.html"][/url] Edited June 29, 2015 by gelfin Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve-soar Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 Really? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Badderer Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 I normally go with the policy, if you've got nothing nice to say don't say anything at all. However, I have just watched his Bohemian Rhapsody moment https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ao3OxBjTY00 How on earth this person gets paid money to do this is amazing.... let alone headline what used to be one of the most sought after Headline slots in the world. It's the most obvious evidence why more and more people think Glastonbury has just sold out and has lost its soul. Lionel Richie KILLED Kanye, showed him how a proper musician (plus actually sharing some of the stage and adulation with a good sized band) can put on a show. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skankdelvar Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 [quote name='seashell' timestamp='1435612760' post='2810709'] Dear Ms Fatuous The cheque's in the post. I think that Kanye looks like a nice boy because he is clean and he doesn't play with nasty long-haired rock musicians. Or indeed musicians of any kind. [/quote] Dear Ms Shelley Thinking that Kanye looks like a nice boy because he is clean and he doesn't play with nasty long-haired rock musicians is an upgrade on the 'Thinking [color=#282828][font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]about drinking flat champagne out of a plastic glass in a special VIP area while thinking about Kanye West' package. [/font][/color] [color=#282828][font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]The '[/font][/color]Thinking [color=#282828][font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]about drinking flat champagne out of a plastic glass in a special VIP area while thinking[/font][/color] that Kanye looks like a nice boy because he is clean and he doesn't play with nasty long-haired rock musicians' package costs an additional $90.00. Please therefore remit $267.50 immediately. Respectfully Lola Fatuous [color=#282828][font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]for Ticketmaster / K-West Inc[/font][/color] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uncle psychosis Posted June 29, 2015 Share Posted June 29, 2015 I haven't heard any of the set but if he managed to piss off people who think that Bohemian Rhapsody is a good song then he clearly did at least one thing right. :-D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miles'tone Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 (edited) http://youtu.be/nwN6dPNXklg Kanye v Freddie Edited June 30, 2015 by miles'tone Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Jack Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 Dear Lola Fatuous, Does the stated fee include a VIP Roadside Parking Permit for the hard shoulder of the M5? My girlfriend Lulu-Beth wants to "Get it on" in a VW Camper underneath a ginormous full-colour (am I allowed to say that?) poster of the greatest rockstar in the entire history of the whole world. Yours forever, Bill Wyman Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
karlfer Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 After listening to the delightful Mr West above, I will NEVER criticise our vocalist ever again. That was diabolical. Thank God Freddie finished it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
4-string-thing Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 I can't bring myself to watch it ( his version of Bohemian Rhapsody) even a few seconds... I've always hated Queen anyway, so I can only imagine how bad this is... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonnythenotes Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 At a pub quiz last night......Rearrange this name......Kanye West.... into something a bit more naughty...... Everyone scored full marks.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seashell Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 [quote name='jonnythenotes' timestamp='1435663047' post='2811061'] At a pub quiz last night......Rearrange this name......Kanye West.... into something a bit more naughty...... Everyone scored full marks.. [/quote] Hahaha, it's a gift! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rich Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 Wet snakey..? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beer of the Bass Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 (edited) W*nkey Set? Edited June 30, 2015 by Beer of the Bass Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rich Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 Swånky tee? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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