witterth Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 I Know we all do the usual 1....2... etc.... and the comedic genius always impresses his mates by yelling "THREE FOUR!!!" back ( did you hear what I said then great mates??!? aren't I bloody great at comedy, great mates?? , GOD I'm so FUNNY!!) so Ballarks to him I was thinking of suggestions along the lines of summat an old mate used to do, thusly " Mary had a little Lamb she also had a Duck she put them on the mantlepiece to see if they would, Fff...fall off" this used to make me smile Now, I'm aware this is not lenny bruce or bill hicks standard of cutting edge comedy, but the sound engineer, as was ( he was a good one) used to say for a quick line check, it was long enough, and had enough sibilant words for EQing.( if you said Boom Boom on the end) so any other suggestions for that type of thing that will shut up the "gig git" ? (even for a second) Heckler put downs will do, as well mine are really too old (Eg "good evening ladies,... did you come together?...........I'd like to have seen that"..... brum tish) see what I mean?TOO OLD!! help me out here W Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyquipment Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 LEEEEEEROY JENKINS Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
witterth Posted May 24, 2013 Author Share Posted May 24, 2013 [quote name='tonyquipment' timestamp='1369399419' post='2088762'] LEEEEEEROY JENKINS [/quote] Not with you....? Thought you may have suggested "DAN......DAN!!......DAN!!!.....DAN..." ect Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tonyquipment Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 HAHAHA YES IT'S AN EXTENDER! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
witterth Posted May 24, 2013 Author Share Posted May 24, 2013 [quote name='tonyquipment' timestamp='1369400416' post='2088784'] HAHAHA YES IT'S AN EXTENDER! [/quote] You want to open a window in that room your'e painting there Tony! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gust0o Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 "Not a Rickenbacker copy" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bassman Sam Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 Mary had a little pig It would not stop it's grunting She took in the shed one day and kicked it's f@*king c**t in. Use with caution. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lozz196 Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 Chicken in a basket, two fat ladies, two little ducks, any mindless rubbish. And my fave - bellow "Change" as loud as possible, in honour of JJ Burnell. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Vader Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 used to just shout piss off down it, as that marvellous combination of letter gets you a nice check for pops. Now I berate the engineer and say come on, is it not right yet? Really, you should have sorted that out by now, etc. etc. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woodster Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 Icicles.... Bicycles.... Monacles.... Test.....ing...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ezbass Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 Icicles, bicycles, test.....ing I'll often sing something to get a realistic level. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ezbass Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 [quote name='woodster' timestamp='1369402874' post='2088829'] Icicles.... Bicycles.... Monacles.... Test.....ing...... [/quote]Just beat me to it, drat! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BILL POSTERS Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 Heard "Flying doctor to Walaboola base" a few times. Myself I try and be proffessional about it, and just sing Some enchanted evening, loud and vey badly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RockfordStone Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 it depends on what mood im in, normally i do the one, one two and sing to get a level, but sometimes i throw dumb sh*t in like "the train leaving platform 3 is delayed due to leaves on the line" in a station announcer voice Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cat Burrito Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 My guitarist has a habit of saying "yes" repeatedly in a series of changing funny voices. My old drummer stole the show by speaking backwards into the mic and then suggesting that the sound engineer had plugged it in wrong - bless her, she checked! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cameronj279 Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 "Anybody want to hear a joke about a nun and a bottle of whiskey" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LiamPodmore Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 2 crackers i once saw, from a band we were supporting. "One two, one two, one two three four five, once i caught a fish alive etc..." and the other one, the guy just shouted Freestyle and went into a 30 second improvised rap. Liam Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Simon. Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 Mary had a long black skirt With a slit right up the side And when she wore it The boys could see her thighs... Mary had another skirt With a slit right up the front But she didn't wear that one very often! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bertbass Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 Mary had a little lamb, She kept it in a bucket, And every time the lamb got out, Her dog it tried to, put it back in again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bartelby Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 [quote name='tonyquipment' timestamp='1369399419' post='2088762'] LEEEEEEROY JENKINS [/quote] You shout my mate's name? Weird... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danthevan Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 Words that start with T's or CH's. Tit, twat, chuff etc Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KingBollock Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 Mary had a little lamb She tied it to a pylon Ten thousand volts went up its arse And turned its wool to nylon Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr.Dave Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 Tap mic to see if it's on - adopt grumpy Yorkshire accent and bellow ' stop fiddling wi them f***in knobs , f***in 'bar's open '. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
niceguyhomer Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 [b]Ricicles, bicycles, test.................................................ing 123[/b] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truckstop Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 I just tap it and say 'yeah, it works'. Truckstop Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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