Bass Player Wanted Adds

[phil_the_bassist]

lol! I've got a few experiences I'd like to share (read 'get off my chest'):

In my first originals band, we lost our guitard to wanderlust and had to have him [s]shot[/s] replaced. We auditioned a few guys, and came to the decision to hire this one monkey cos he was the best of the bunch...aka the floatiest turd in the cesspool.

As we had a heavy lineup of gigs, it was imperative we get him up to speed, no faffing, and get gig-ready asap. So, we rehearse, all goes well, his gear is a bit crackly, he's a bit of a prick, and his solo's often sound out ("I'll have it sorted by next practice, I promise!") but we get gigging. After a few gigs we start to realise that he doesn't actually know how his gear works or goes together, to the extent that he had his head and pedals permanently connected lest he forget which lead goes where! He was doing a crap job of hiding his egotistical, abrasive personality, with telling us how to play each of our instruments, how to run the band, and how to take a $hit cos we obviously didn't know as much as him!

It ended when the drummer and I lost our rag and laid hands on the gent after he cocked up another big gig for us by failing miserably in feedback avoidance, musicianship, and being a decent human being.

In yet another band, which was billed as a tribute/function band with some original material, I should've walked after the first phonecall. I answered the ad, and spoke to the gent on the phone.

We got on really well, I was really into the music we'd be doing, he seemed like a top bloke, and if we hadn't been in a band together, I'm sure we'd still be friends now...[i]BUT[/i]

In the first conversation, he started name-dropping, bigging up the bands prospects, listing previous and future very high-end gigs we'd been booked for, and generally dazzling me with talk of big stages, masses of money and bright lights. I thought briefly "This sounds too good to be true!" and prep for the audition.

I learn the songs, get my kit in top order, dryclean the ol' whistle, polish the shoes and get to the audition early enough to sneak a listen to some of the competition. The bassist before me seemed unsure of most of the lines, and as these were pretty specific and song-driving, it was important to get 'em right. I'd got 'em nailed so aside from me freezing up or blanking, I was pretty confident I would have a shot at this gig!

I walk in there when it was my time, set up in front of the manager, the soundguy, and about half a dozen hangers-on (turned out to be various family members of the band/manager). We get straight in, and halfway thru the first song, the guitarist/singer fumbles and drops the ball. He says it's cos they've been auditioning bassists for 4hrs prior, so I think nothing of it (playing the same 8 songs for 4hrs would make anyone f***ed off and f***ed up!) and we carry on. The drummer's great, and the singers got the vocal chops for the task, an he can smack his guitar pretty well so it's all cushty.

I get the call from the manager that I'm in, providing the next three practices go well. In the time period of the next three practices (cutting long story short) the soundguy tries to join the band (which as it's a specific 3piece, it a problem), then quits, the drummer quits, the guitarist's Mrs finds out about him playing the field and leaves, we find a new drummer, and our manager does no 'managing' whatsoever.

In the meantime, I get told of these massive gigs that we've been booked for, including BIG tours, BIG festivals, meeting UK rock royalty, tv, radio, magazines etc etc but one by one each falls flat and turns out to be lies...including one festival we're supposedly booked for in November that actually took place in May

All I can say to anyone is, if it sounds too good to be true, then be 99.999% certain that it is.

[Pentode]

[quote ...aka the floatiest turd in the cesspool.
[/quote]


LMFAO

[leschirons]

Did a 2nd guitar dep a few months ago for an English band who come over twice a year to play for a weekend. Their drummer lives here but their rythym guitarist couldn't make the gig so I stood in.

Drummer, been playing 40 years (ex No1 UK charts band and had a superb kit)

Guitarist, been playing 40 years (ex pro and with guitar and rig to die for)

Bass player, been playing 30 years (semi pro, Squire jazz and an old Peavey rig)

Quickly realised maybe why the other guitarist couldn't make it. I got offered a permanent place in the band (twice a year?)

Not because I was good, more because I knew the intro chords to White room. THEY failed the audition. Although the bass player aquitted himself with honours.

[maxrossell]

I feel bad now, I just put a want-ad in the bassists wanted section.

But just to provide some balance, tonight our bass player quit for the second time, and although I sincerely hate trying to find musicians, you do end up with some great anecdotes.

- The first time this guy quit, he did so by text. No phone call, no face-to-face, and considering we'd been playing together for a year and a half, I'd have expected a little more from him, if only because we're supposed to be mates as well. Not only that but his excuse is that he doesn't feel he can commit to being in a band - A couple of days later I run into the drummer from the other band he was in, and find out that he hasn't quit that band, just ours.

- Out of the dozen or so bassists who claim to be available, to have their own gear and to be really psyched about trying out, we manage to get ONE to show up for an audition without either cancelling multiple times will bulls*** excuses or just outright no-showing. The guy turns up, and instantly starts talking like we've already hired him. We tell him we play in Eb, he says he'll "play through it" (apparently it's beneath him to take thirty seconds to tune down half a step). To his credit he's sort of learned the two tracks we asked of him, but he starts throwing in all this flashy slapping and popping stuff that make the songs sound terrible. And of course he can't play the basslines properly because he hasn't tuned down. Then he tells us he can't do half the days we practice, looks at his watch, packs his bass away and says "see you next week". You can guess how that went.

- After several months of no viable bassists whatsoever, our old bassist tells our guitarist he feels terrible about the way he quit and he'd like to come back. But he can't do one of the weekdays we practice, so we rearrange (at some considerable inconvenience). Also because he's still in that other band, he can't afford to also pay his share of room rent for our room, so we say that's fine, we'll all just pay extra. In hindsight I suppose we shouldn't have bent over so far backwards to get him back, but we were fairly desperate for a bassist at that point. And today, about a month and a half later, he swans in and says that he's quitting again. And what's more expects us to pat him on the back because he had the balls to do it in person this time.

So it's not always bassists getting f***ed about by bands, a lot of the time it's the other way around.

[TimR]

The secret is knowing what you want, telling them what you are after and asking the right questions before even agreeing to audition. Walk away if it doesn't feel right as you are wasting everybody's time.

I don't like to discuss auditions via email you need to speak to someone to get a real feel of them. I may use mail to get a number then phone. Pay as you go Sims are £10, get a sim specifically for auditioning. Then if you get crank calls or problems you're not tied to a contract.

I called a number on an ad in a music shop. Got answer machines for two days before getting through to a person. I didn't leave any messages, I just kept trying.

Some simple questions I asked
1. how often they practiced and on what nights. (If I can't make the practices what's the point.)
2. What age range they were (30s-60s!)
3. what songs were in their setlist. (all the usual suspects)
4. how often and what they generally got paid for gigs. (all sorts of gigs all sorts of pay, sounds like they know the score)
5. when their next gig was. (nothing planned as no bass player. Can't do anything about that so let's at least audition)
6. What happened to their last bass player. (He went to University. Left for a good reason)

From the answers and tone of voice I got a fairly good feel for what they were about and because I was talking on a phone I got a feel whether they were being honest or not.

I met the two guitarists for an informal jam in a hall at low volumes and they asked me to join there and then. The next week I met the drummer and singer. We played a gig 3 weeks after that and now have a new years eve gig and will be looking for gigs in the new year.

Last week I found out that they auditioned 6 bass players. Wow, that gave me a boost.

[skankdelvar]

Follow-up to my post in this thread 6 days ago. You may recall I got suckered into a session last week with a brilliant drummer and a useless guitarist, with a commonly-agreed view to doing some savage rockabilly / psychoblues. (Keep that genre in mind as we progress).

So, I fully expected the drummer to get in touch to discuss looking for a new plank-spanker. Not a bit of it. He doesn't see any problems, despite the fact said twanger knows hardly any standards and wobbles if he has to play any key other than A. In fact, the the only thing he does well is ponce tabs off me.

Instead drummer reckons he's got the perfect frontman for our Rocking Psychotic Blues project and suggests I meet up with them both at a gig. Turns out the frontman [i]is[/i] the gig. Crooner standards with tapes. Great voice, but totally wrong. Does two RnR numbers and they're so .... polite.

During the gig, his increasingly drunken rellies keep prodding me and yelling "You'll be a fool if you don't work with him. It'll have to be [i]his[/i] band, though. He likes a chooon, y'know, nothing too heavy".

From discussions afterwards, singer seems to think he's in the band already. Turns out the drummer co-owns a PA with the putative Matt Monro. 2+2 = Stitch-up

Doing one session tomorrow to make sure it's the trainwreck I think it's going to be, then out the door like weasel sh*t. Is everybody completely f*****g mad? Or deaf? Or stupid?

Edited November 17, 2009 by skankdelvar

[benthos]

All depressingly familiar.

The covers band that I'm currently in seems to have all the classic symptoms. The annoying thing is that we've had some really great gigs, but a mixture of lead guitard incompetence and overall difficulty in committing to regular rehearsal is killing us slowly.

I'm thinking of getting my hands on a EUB and some lessons to get me on the right path and then 'diversifying'.

I'm absolutely not giving up!

[john_the_bass]

I've never really had a problem as a guitarist or a bass player with any of the bands I've been in or with any of the people that I've played with, except for one drummer who was gifted but suffered from Keith Moon syndrome and would arrive at gigs by the skin of his teeth and forgot about practices. As a slight aside the other guitarist in my covers band has announced that he can't do new years eve this year. This is infuriating as I asked if everybody was available prior to taking the booking and now he says he can't do it.

[The Funk]

[quote name='xgsjx' post='651691' date='Nov 11 2009, 03:20 PM']Best thing to do is start your own band.[/quote]

Agreed!

[Stan_da_man]

After many attempts (4!) throught the last two years, I finally have my own band and can't wait to start gigging. Don't know if it's an age thing but I prefer playing with guys a few years older than me due to them not being so immature and not always wanting to play the latest Metallica song or whatever they play nowadays on the radio.

I have played with many people in the same age group as me (16-21) and have met a lot of characters but most the time they get carried away with the image of being a rock star and the ego takes control. Obviously, they have no idea how to play their instrument or get a good sound and I politely decline their offer to join the band.

Another thing that gets my goat is drummers - IF YOU DON'T OWN A DRUMKIT, YOU ARE NOT A DRUMMER! If I don't have a singing voice, I am not a singer, simple as.

[velvetkevorkian]

[quote name='thepurpleblob' post='652453' date='Nov 12 2009, 11:30 AM']Unfortunately, music seems to attract drunken, useless egotists so there's probably no hope.[/quote]
I didn't realise you'd met my band.

[mcgraham]

[quote]After many attempts (4!)[/quote]

Is that 4 or 4 factorial?

[thumperbob 2002]

I`ve been playing for 30yrs + and have dealt with all kinds of pond life in that time. I refuse to do it now though and do make my opinions felt in a fairly cold but honest way. Otherwise there will be trouble...........................

Can be frustrating though- after a little time off I was asked to join a gospel choir- the choir were fantastic- would make the hairs on the back of your neck stand up- had tv engagements, radio work etc. The problem was the band--

The Guitarist couldnt play
The Drummer couldnt play
The Sax player played too much- but never the same thing twice.
The Keys player had to be seen to be believed- I have never seen anyone that could play every single note on his intrument in EVERY song!

I let it go thinking they were finding their feet- later found out that they had been together for two years- I left at that time, having done about 5 gigs in a couple of months. They had some babes in the choir though!

Bob

[6stringbassist]

What annoys me most about bassist wanted adverts, is when people can't be bothered to reply to your enquiry to their advert.

Twice on this site I've replied to adverts. Once to someone who wanted a dep bassist for some gigs. And the other week I PM'ed a guy twice about an advert, and didn't get a single reply from him. Bet he wouldn't have done that if I'd been the real Tony Levin

I've been playing since I was 12, that's 25 years now, and I've spent the last 10 years playing pro/semi pro. I studied at college for 3 years. I can sight read. I've done hundreds of gigs and loads of studio work and theatre pit work. I have great gear, and transport. I'm reliable and honest. And I can play pretty much any style of music to a very high standard.

So why can't people be bothered to reply to me when I answer their adverts ?

Edited November 17, 2009 by 6stringbassist

[maxrossell]

[quote name='6stringbassist' post='657262' date='Nov 17 2009, 05:50 PM']So why can't people be bothered to reply to me when I answer their adverts ?[/quote]

- Most musicians couldn't organise a p***-up even if it was at their house and you delivered the beer and the guests to their door.

- From experience, half the time when people are "starting a band", they give up as soon as they realise that running a band takes time, effort and money.

- A lot of bands, when looking for bassists, will just hire the first guy who strolls through their door because they think that any idiot can play bass since it's just a guitar with fewer strings. And of course, they won't bother to let anyone know that they're not looking anymore.

- Conversely, a lot of bands will make a snap judgement about other musicians, and may choose to not hire (or even audition) a perfectly good bass player because his bass is the wrong colour.

[thumperbob 2002]

I think we all make snap judgements about people- its in our genes. When we auditioned a drummer for the band I`m in this young kid walked in with his trousers ( literally ) round his ankles- I had never seen this "fashion" before and he looked as though he was`nt bothered- did`nt really know the songs either. Anyhow we gave him the benefit of the doubt and he has fit in really well- for the first gig he had the set off pat- is a really hardworker and loves gigging. He was only standoffish because he is a bit shy.

I say give people a chance- they will either step up or quit.

Bob

[rOB]

ah so true, have been trying to either get into a band or start something in Leicester after having a few great experiences in Leeds. Have been replying to ads, playing with new people and auditioning for bands for 3 months now. No luck, musicians are either so unreliable that we've not even managed to get together or such horrible people that I wouldn't want to spend any time with them.

getting really annoyed as a couple of years ago I found it really easy to find friendly, competent musicians who could commit.

Grrr

[Mykesbass]

[quote name='Pentode' post='656204' date='Nov 16 2009, 06:31 PM'][quote ...aka the floatiest turd in the cesspool.



LMFAO [/quote]

+1

How do we nominate this for Basschat's Great Quotes?

[4-string-thing]

[quote name='bumnote' post='652521' date='Nov 12 2009, 12:15 PM']This craigs list ad on the bottom line sums it all up for me

Bass player needed for working folk-rock group gigging 5+ dates per month. MUST have the following:

1. Technically brilliant on the bass
2. Must have own transportation
3. Must own a PA system adequate for rooms up to 400 persons
4. Must transport PA to all gigs (see # 2) and set up and take down while the rest of the band schmoozes fans
5. Must provide 2,3 and 4 at no additional cost to the band
6. Must be capable of lead and harmony singing at perfect pitch
7. Must be willing to serve as booking and business manager for the band. Bass player is expected to secure most of the band's gigs.
8. Must be able to supply subsidized housing for band members.
9. Must be willing to buy instruments for band members (accordion, bagpipes, hand percussion etc.) so that the band can expand the sound
10. Must own field recording rig so live shows can be recorded and archived

The band will conduct auditions and interviews. Please bring an inventory of the equipment we require to the audition and interview so we can determine if your gear will satisify our requirements.

Successful candidate will earn an equal band share of gig payment, typically $50 minimum per 4 hour show.

We have a gig Friday and another Sunday and 3 more beyond that in November, so move fast if you want this opportunity of a lifetime![/quote]

Ha ha, I'd swear blind this is my old band if it wasn't for the pay being in dollars and more than I ever earned when I was with them!

[jezzaboy]

Don`t you just love the ads that say something along these lines:

Bass player wanted for sh*t hot new band. We are aming for a totally new direction, which sounds like nothing else out there and has never been done before. Must be commited as we are heading for the big time!

Recreational drugs must be involved....

I went for a play with a bunch of guys a few years ago and when I asked about a pa, they said that all pubs and clubs had a pa, so they would not need one! Oh Yeah!

Exit stage left!

Jez

[skankdelvar]

[quote name='maxrossell' post='657323' date='Nov 17 2009, 06:43 PM']From experience, half the time when people are "starting a band", they give up as soon as they realise that running a band takes time, effort and money.[/quote]

That is [i]so[/i] true. Many people like the idea of being in a band either to impress their peers or to get out from under their partners' feet once a week. Bit like having a de-pressurising game of squash.

But I'm not surprised BC-er's are so often disappointed by other peoples' lack of commitment and application. If you can be bothered to get off your lardy arse and sign up to a bass forum, you're probably reasonably serious about the whole band malarkey.*




[i][size=1]* (or you've got some gear to shift )[/size][/i]

[velvetkevorkian]

Not me. I just use BC to procrastinate. I'm so lazy I can't be bothered going through trying to find another band, never mind run it myself.

[OldGit]

[quote name='6stringbassist' post='657262' date='Nov 17 2009, 05:50 PM']I've been playing since I was 12, that's 25 years now, and I've spent the last 10 years playing pro/semi pro. I studied at college for 3 years. I can sight read. I've done hundreds of gigs and loads of studio work and theatre pit work. I have great gear, and transport. I'm reliable and honest. And I can play pretty much any style of music to a very high standard.

So why can't people be bothered to reply to me when I answer their adverts ?[/quote]


Probably because you are scarily talented beyond their ability and bass players just ain't supposed to be like that.

Try leaving half of it out next time?

[BigRedX]

[quote name='OldGit' post='657899' date='Nov 18 2009, 10:40 AM']Probably because you are scarily talented beyond their ability and bass players just ain't supposed to be like that.

Try leaving half of it out next time? [/quote]

One of the drummers I've played with was scarily talented when compared to the rest of the band (especially me). He'd been working as a pro session and touring musician since the mid-80's including several years in studios in Nashville. However he loved the music we were doing and was happy to rein in his chops and play what the songs needed rather than showing how good he was as a musician.

I would never turn down a musician because I thought they were too good for my band, unless they thought they were too good and it showed.

[Shambo]

Further to my earlier whinge in this thread.

The guitarist cancelled last weeks rehersal 'cause his wife wasn't feeling well. Then 2 days ago I got a text saying has having trouble finding the new band gigs and that if I don't find us gigs he's "gonna give the band a miss m8". I messaged back with a few of the points I made earlier in this thread about him really wanting me to join his band, the number of songs I've already learned for no reason, and that I'd already approached a few people about gigs but with only 2 rehersals under our belt, it wasn't even ready to play out...concluding with a firm "I'm out" from me.

A few vaguely apologetic and flattering text from him later, it seems he's rejoined the old group he's spent the last 2 months slagging off because they've got gigs booked for christmas and he needs the cash. Also that we can "get the band going again in the new year m8", of which he's got fat chance. It was never going to be the highlight of my life, playing REO Speedwagon to an empty backstreet scouse boozer.

I've just recieved a confusing group text from him, telling me that todays rehersal is cancelled because of illness in the family. I wasn't aware of any rehersal today having told him 2 days ago, politely but firmly, that I wasn't going to work with him any more.

There's no moral or conclusion to this post, it's just good to vent.

/moan