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TheButler

So, my band booted me out...

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Tossers that they couldn't say it F2F or on the blower. Maybe you would have asked questions they didn't want to answer. Like maybe their old mate has just started learning to play bass.

I'm lucky, never had a problem like that. Got sacked once well over 25 years ago, when I was a guitarist. The whole band came to my place and told me sorry, can't do this anymore. I was pretty gutted but I completely deserved it, I had crap gear that wouldn't stay in tune, and I was nowhere near experienced enough for those guys. At least they did the thing right.

Sad isn't it. Can't see why people can't do business properly.

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[quote name='TheButler' post='552861' date='Jul 27 2009, 04:45 PM']Edit: Witty/facetious/etc. remarks that i can work into my replying e-mail will be much appreciated :)[/quote]

'I appreciate your honesty, openess and candour. You have helped me out of a tricky situation as i found i was starting to develop an emotional attachment to one of the band. I wont say who to spare his blushes but i think he was starting to return my affections. I kept catching his eye while we were playing and im sure the little winks and knowing smiles werent just him saying 'nice playing Butler'. My 'gaydar' was pinging full on. With time it could have grown into something stronger im sure but im not ready for that yet until ive got the latest outbreak under control. Im not sure its contagious but when i gave you the money for the last rehearsal and bought that round theres a small chance i could have passed it on'

?

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Sorry to hear that.... it's happened to me too. I just got a "we don't need you, thanks. I found another bass player that I'm going to try".

I guess it's worth asking why but being in band is like being in a relationship. There's no redress if they put all your stuff in a bin-bag and ask you for your front door key (and yes..... that's happened to me too :) )

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Over the years I've left various bands; when the guitarists best mate (a bass player) suddenly became available, when the singer found a new best mate (also a bass player) and when the band thought the dep had a better image (he was younger). None of this was my fault and I have never created a fuss. I'm currently playing with the same guitarists second best mate in a really great band, so that might not have happened if I'd got stupid about it.

Be professional. Find out what the problem was, if you feel the need, but shrug your shoulders, if your rugby injuries allow, and move on. There's always a better band around the corner.

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[quote name='TheButler' post='552861' date='Jul 27 2009, 04:45 PM']My playing was of a far higher standard than they'd have ever needed to use, and they were well aware of that![/quote]

I not saying... I'm not... but just think for a minute......


BTW... don't ever burn your bridges. The music biz is a surprisingly small world. It doesn't take much to make yourself that arse nobody will have in their band. IF you reply do make it pleasant. Get someone else to read it before you press the send button.

I had to sack the drummer in my old band and it was one of the hardest things I have ever done. I only did it because nobody else had the balls. I phoned him up mind you and gave it to him both barrels. He might not have been happy but at least he knew why.

Edited by thepurpleblob

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Keep practicing and plugging away, show you don't need them to do well for yourself. I'm guessing there were a few big egos in the band - you don't need them.

Good luck for the future

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Could it be that one of them will take on Bass duties. Getting another newbie don't make sense.

Anyway, onward and forwards. Something new will soon turn up. I'd try to get to the bottom of why they din't think it would work out though.

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Its just the difficulty in finding something else good in Edinburgh.

Of course i will be pleasant, they were good guys, who i hope, will have dismissed me for equitable reasons. I'm going to rise above it... and i'm saying this whilst mildlly drunk..

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Ive had it happen to me a couple of times, and ive left a band of my own accord once. Just keep plugging away and something else will come up. Tbh im putting nowhere near enough time into learning the songs for my current band as im bogged down with work. But meh... Edinburgh eh? I wouldve thought it wouldnt be TOO hard to find a new band :)

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[quote name='TheButler' post='552843' date='Jul 27 2009, 04:38 PM']and this is perhaps as much to do with the fact we have been together for a few years now and would struggle with anyone new, [b]as it is to do with you[/b].[/quote]

If I were you, I'd ask them to clarify this point, preferably over the phone (show them the way it should be done), then I'd put it behind you and move on.

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[quote name='TheButler' post='552843' date='Jul 27 2009, 03:38 PM']I'll copy/paste the e-mail here, don't care if they see it haha:

Hi Jamie,

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but after much deliberation, we've decided to continue on without you in the band. We appreciate your efforts over the last few weeks, but we're can't really see it working out, and this is perhaps as much to do with the fact we have been together for a few years now and would struggle with anyone new, as it is to do with you.

I'm sure you'll have no problems finding a new vehicle for your bassing - there are plenty of folks looking for guys like you - so all the best.

Thanks again,

Jon
TBSC.[/quote]

They make it sound as if they're carrying on without a bassplayer, no mention of any replacement. No matter what their reasons for pushing you out, these situations should at least warrant a face to face or at the very least, a real voice on the phone. As we put ourselves forward as musicians, we should all be able to take constructive criticism and if I were slung out, I'd want to know the real reasons, critical or not. If it's my playing, then I need to improve it (assuming they're qualified to comment on my, (or your) playing. If it's simply political, a clash of personalities or the old bassplayer returning from 3 years in Australia, you were on a loser from the start and better off out of it.

It's always a dent to the pride to be in this situation but try to find out what the real reason was. You'll probably find out it was one of the above reasons and NOT your bassplaying. If you're the sort of guy who would have spoken directly to someone you were sacking in your band, then they don't deserve to be playing with you anyway.

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Like others have stated it'd be nice to know what they had problems with e.g. your playing or you, so you can work on it.

Don't get too bent out of shape. This is the business, ups and downs.

They could want to move to another format. We were electric for several years and now we have no drummer and are acoustic.
Maybe it's not personal and just a directional change.

Good luck and I'm sure you'll find a new project, you're a bass player after all. :)

Edited by TPJ

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I think i'll phone him up and ask to arrange a meeting with them all, just so they can tell me straight to my face why it didn't work out. That seems quite reasonable?

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[quote name='TheButler' post='553299' date='Jul 27 2009, 10:28 PM']Its just the difficulty in finding something else good in Edinburgh.[/quote]

You're in a place with twice the population as me and it seems that bass players are always in demand here. I wouldn't worry about it.

Edited by neepheid

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I had the "sacked by e-mail" thing earlier this year. It trully sucks that they couldn't do it to your face and give some practical reasons, and not some half-arsed explanations.

Keep playing, placing ads, looking for bands etc. Something will crop up. Good luck.

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I have been on the opposite side of this situation:

Was in a band with two guitarist's & a drummer. new singer comes in really good, then one day after practice went to pub for usual erm post practice booze up & bam the two guitarist tell me that they dont like him & want him out of the band: went on to tell me they both could'nt stand the sight of him & just dont want to carry on with him in the band.

Guess who got to tell him ? yep because i used to box & he was a big lad i was the one who had to tell him. but i did it face to face. and what made it worse was i actually liked the guy.

Sometimes mate it's not the entire band

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[quote name='neepheid' post='553620' date='Jul 28 2009, 09:51 AM']You're in a place with twice the population as me and it seems that bass players are always in demand here. I wouldn't worry about it.[/quote]

Aberdeen has a much better music scene :rolleyes: :)

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[quote name='TheButler' post='553682' date='Jul 28 2009, 11:03 AM']Aberdeen has a much better music scene :rolleyes: :)[/quote]

Does it? Oh well, I'm glad I stuck around then!

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This happened to me recently, to make matters worse i didnt see it coming and it was from a guy ive been close mates with for 15 years who i suspect pulled the trigger on me to please a girl he likes (the singer) im still fuming and upset about it now (it was the useless wooden toys) luckily ive still got my other band Loungefly to keep me sane. The fact that it happened on my birthday on top of everything else that been going on lately, baby and a HUGE other, erm, 'issue' the whole things left me feeling really down tbh. Mine was by email too, after 15 years!!!
I feel for you mate. Luckily a fellow basschatter offered some sound reassurance and wise words which helped.

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[quote name='Spartacus' post='553002' date='Jul 27 2009, 06:20 PM']'I appreciate your honesty, openess and candour. You have helped me out of a tricky situation as i found i was starting to develop an emotional attachment to one of the band. I wont say who to spare his blushes but i think he was starting to return my affections. I kept catching his eye while we were playing and im sure the little winks and knowing smiles werent just him saying 'nice playing Butler'. My 'gaydar' was pinging full on. With time it could have grown into something stronger im sure but im not ready for that yet until ive got the latest outbreak under control. Im not sure its contagious but when i gave you the money for the last rehearsal and bought that round theres a small chance i could have passed it on'

?[/quote]

Ha ha.... if they reply and ask who it was say "Give us a kiss and I'll tell you" LOL!

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[quote name='TheButler' post='553614' date='Jul 28 2009, 09:47 AM']I think i'll phone him up and ask to arrange a meeting with them all, just so they can tell me straight to my face why it didn't work out. That seems quite reasonable?[/quote]

I think doing it by e mail is a pretty cowardly way of doing it, face to face is the only honourable way.

As to the meeting, now that the decision has been made and sent to you, what do you gain from a face to face meeting? You wont necessarily find out the real reason, it may make you feel better or you might loose your temper.

At the end of it, although its always a blow to ones ego, I would walk away because its unlikely you can change anything, and would you want to.

F... em, Dont let them live rent free in your head.

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Accept it...it is their decision and they have made it although a phone call would have been much better

If you think you were better than they required or had.. AIUI.. then form another band and make sure it is a better unit.

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in all fairness to the band, doing it face to face isn't always practicle. i mean, do they wait for you to arrive for rehersals and then tell you, so you end up going straight home? that doesn't seem fair on you, youve just made the journey for nothing. wait until after the rehersal? thats just a waste of your time and theirs. the only logical thing to do is tell you before the rehersal, and that means it cant be face to face, unless one of the other members only lives down the road and will go to your house to tell you.

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[quote name='Tait' post='553936' date='Jul 28 2009, 01:50 PM']in all fairness to the band, doing it face to face isn't always practicle. i mean, do they wait for you to arrive for rehersals and then tell you, so you end up going straight home? that doesn't seem fair on you, youve just made the journey for nothing. wait until after the rehersal? thats just a waste of your time and theirs. the only logical thing to do is tell you before the rehersal, and that means it cant be face to face, unless one of the other members only lives down the road and will go to your house to tell you.[/quote]

Totally dont agree, agree to a meet in a pub, go round the blokes house, be honest and professional.

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Ah well, its their loss. Keep practising, thinking about how to improve and just look for other bands. Depends on the type of music obviously, but there should be lots of bands in Edinburgh or musicians looking to form new ones. For those that had to grow up in the middle of nowhere, it is actully pretty good.

I've never been sacked by a band, I generally leave when it gets stale or the whole thing slowly and collectively dies on its arse through inactivity. Getting to know by e-mail sucks though, I would prefer a phone call even, then you can ask questions right away.

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