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Hell Is Other People (who know you play in a band)


Monkey Steve

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On 12/01/2019 at 14:05, Dad3353 said:

So..! You're female and you play bass..? :swoon: Oh, you poor thing, you..! :(

...

...

:lol: :P

Tough but somebody has to do it 🙂 

I used to be embarrassed when women rushed up to me and told me I was wonderful (especially if I'd played badly), but I've become more comfortable with being a "role model" (especially now that I play better). If I'd seen a band with a female bass player when I first wanted to play, it might just have tipped me over the doubts and discouragement then, rather than waiting through 45 years of sorrow and lost time before starting. 

To get back on topic, these days I make a point of letting people know, hoping it will break down the stereotype at least a bit. Yes the resulting conversations can be annoying, but it's worth that if it makes them re-think. 

 

Edited by josie
minor typo
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My cousin is 30 this year, she’s lovely, bonkers - but lovely. 

She knows how to pick ‘em if you catch my drift.

At a Boxing Day party at my parents house, she says “Andy, my new partner is in the kitchen...he’s a bit..you know...”

I’d been told that this guy gives guitar lessons.

Anyhow, I’m carrying iris and gathering the other 3 kids coats and shoes they’ve kicked off (as they do at grandmas) the house is rammed with family and friends, some of whom have travelled from Indonesia and haven’t seen or met 2 of our children such is the nature of living 1000’s of miles away from family.

Before I’m into the kitchen, a guy resembling Rik Mayall’s Young Ones character had a baby with Dave Grohl thrusts his hand at me “YOR ANDEH YOR PLAY BASS DOWUNTCHOR?” (Say this in Liam Gallagher’s voice in your head) subsequently I must confess to being the rudest I’ve ever been, but I had both hands full, I wanted to put baby in her bouncer chair, get the coats away and he was stood in the doorway I needed to get through to facilitate all of my desires (also where the booze was).

I said “yeah, I do - I do other things too...” and pushed past him. 

Now, much as it pains me to say - about 15 minutes into the visit, Maggie who is 2 Cracked her head open and we went to A&E.

Apparently he ran the same routine with my brother in my absence.

I met him again around NYE and hated him more after trying to be civil. He berated my 18 year old cousin who’s lived in Bali since he was born for not knowing who The Verve were.

 

Edited by AndyTravis
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I have a principle of never mentioning I'm in a band unless.

a. There's a reasonable chance it will turn into a gig opportunity. For example a promoter or venue manager

b. There's a reasonable chance they'll come to a gig or buy a cd. Eg "I love the blues..."

i find people who tell you they're in a band when you haven't even asked or are talking about music fairly cringe-worthy.

But that's just me. Other ways of living are equally valid 🙂

Edited by Len_derby
Missed a bit
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6 hours ago, Len_derby said:

I have a principle of never mentioning I'm in a band unless.

a. There's a reasonable chance it will turn into a gig opportunity. For example a promoter or venue manager

b. There's a reasonable chance they'll come to a gig or buy a cd. Eg "I love the blues..."

It's also a little difficult to deny it if you're in between sets at the Tickled Trout.

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1 hour ago, tauzero said:

It's also a little difficult to deny it if you're in between sets at the Tickled Trout.

 

Not if you play bass. Chances are nobody would have noticed you... ;)

Edited by mcnach
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Being as I'm a long-time office spod in a yard full of tradies I'm already well acquainted with the dangers of publicly sticking your creative head above the parapet. It's all suddenly got a bit busy on the musical front recently though, so it's nice to be able to finally meet the sneers of "when's yer band playing Wembley then mate?" with "July, actually. Twice."

More of a personal victory than a definitive one as they're generally the sort of blokes who like to get the maximum amount of use out of a joke once they've invested time into coming up with it, but it does keep the more irritating banter down to a minimum!

Edited by borntohang
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Many years back my son was working stacking shelves or some such somewhere in Leeds, and singing in the Leeds parish church choir. Which he kept quiet about until the day he had to ask for time off work to sing at the funeral of some hugely famous football person, with pretty much every living famous football person in the country in the congregation. At that point he got respect. 

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5 hours ago, borntohang said:

It's all suddenly got a bit busy on the musical front recently though, so it's nice to be able to finally meet the sneers of "when's yer band playing Wembley then mate?" with "July, actually. Twice."

Is that meant metaphorically or are you really playing Wembley? If so, wow, what gig?

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My experience seems very different to most of you, I am lucky to work in a place where there are quite a few musicians (the entirety of one of my bands for example but a lot more besides). We have also played works doos and charity events at work and it always goes down well. Far from being laughed at or hassled, I think we are seen as some sort of musical geniuses just because we can play a few songs. It’s been a very positive experience and we have just got a booking to do the wedding of a colleague in October.

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12 hours ago, SICbass said:

Is that meant metaphorically or are you really playing Wembley? If so, wow, what gig?

To my utter amazement it's not metaphorically, no. We're doing 18 EU and UK dates as baby support for Pink this summer; UK dates are two nights in Glasgow, Cardiff, Liverpool, and two nights at Wembley. I'm as baffled as everyone else to be honest but pretty sure our agent is getting a pay-rise this year.

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1 minute ago, borntohang said:

To my utter amazement it's not metaphorically, no. We're doing 18 EU and UK dates as baby support for Pink this summer; UK dates are two nights in Glasgow, Cardiff, Liverpool, and two nights at Wembley. I'm as baffled as everyone else to be honest but pretty sure our agent is getting a pay-rise this year.

Congratulations, what’s your band called?

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I hate when someone asks about my band.People always have that snide/condescending tone when they know you play music or do anything that is considered "creative"

They make me sick.

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1 hour ago, borntohang said:

I'll save you the trouble! I'm just playing session for them at the moment so only my band in a technical sense, but if it means I get to play Wembley then I'm not complaining about not being in a video or two.

https://youtu.be/3SAAgrOXf-E

 There’s some good songs there. Not really my genre but well played and presented. Good luck 👍 

 

...is that you on the video for Natural Born Astronaut?

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My Father In Law used to say 'Get your guitar out and play us a tune'. I would reply that bass isn't really an instrument for that sort of thing and he'd then get grumpy. I suppose I should have just treated everybody to the bassline from Simple Minds - Waterfront for 10 minutes and that would have been the end of it.

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