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Bladder Control


Pete Academy
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[quote name='ped' post='1273340' date='Jun 17 2011, 11:33 PM']Bowel issues over here. Unless the venue has decent bogs I basically feel the need to go (usually at gigs, but counts for pretty much any situation, especially on coaches or boats). In fact just thinking about it now....

..Whoops, I better 'log off'

ped[/quote]

+1 to that.I've had to rush off stage in mid-song more than once. :)

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[quote name='Pete Academy' post='1273260' date='Jun 17 2011, 09:55 PM']There is absolutely nothing worse than desperately needing a piss mid gig.[/quote]
Yes there is. Having to sneeze loads whilst navigating a three lane roundabout at rush hour, absolutely terrifying.

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Can be an issue sometimes during the 2nd set if I've chosen to drink and not done what I should during the break , can be the difference between thinking oh no only 4 songs left but I'm enjoying myself or thinking oh no 4 songs left!

Answer is don't drink the wrong things till after the set

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[quote name='ZMech' post='1273862' date='Jun 18 2011, 03:48 PM']Yes there is. Having to sneeze loads whilst navigating a three lane roundabout at rush hour, absolutely terrifying.[/quote]
Oh, that! 6 or 7 immediately consecutive sneezes while overtaking an Artic on the M-way. Always seems to happen.

Never sneeze onstage. Though I accidentally gobbed [i]off[/i]stage onto the Mayor of Kensington and Chelsea once. Slow-motion moment as it back-spun through the air and landed neatly on his chain of office.

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[quote name='dood' post='1273802' date='Jun 18 2011, 02:50 PM']I finally have a name for the condition! - I used to suffer really badly with the ehem...'Adrenaline Poo' and like Ped, if a venue didn't have the facilities to accomodate, it'd just make the situation worse. Last few gigs I hadn't given it a second thought to be honest. Maybe I'm cured!

The whole 'need to go' thing when getting ready to play a gig is strongly linked to the natural 'flight or fight' response we have within us and the effect it has on your body. As I understand it, your subconscious senses that you are getting nervy, maybe anxious/ adrenaline starts kicking in. It can't 'see' what is happening so prepares the body for action - it then sidelines other 'functions' to divert energy to what it thinks you'll need to survive. I can't say exactly why it happens, but the side effect for some, one way or another is the errr, how shall we say 'loosening of the bowel'.. Which is where the phrase 'sh*t scared' comes from, I think.

Many have found that Cognitive Behavioural Therapy can clear up these 'urge to go' by safely reteaching your subconscious mind to not get in a tiz like an over zealous guard dog everytime you do something that gets the anxiety levels up a bit![/quote]

Definitely seems to be a Mods thing. :)

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[quote name='blamelouis' post='1273982' date='Jun 18 2011, 06:20 PM']I think i mentioned on here before but i used to play in a band wth a guitarist/alco who alway wore black leather trousers on stage so he could piss himself without the punters knowing.
His boots stank and NOBODY else would lift his mic stand. :)[/quote]

:)

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[quote name='blamelouis' post='1273982' date='Jun 18 2011, 06:20 PM']I think i mentioned on here before but i used to play in a band wth a guitarist/alco who alway wore black leather trousers on stage so he could piss himself without the punters knowing.
His boots stank and NOBODY else would lift his mic stand. :)[/quote]


Ugh, surely the steam would give him away?

I've given this too much thought already...

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[quote name='Bilbo' post='1273471' date='Jun 18 2011, 09:17 AM']Abd the award for the 2011 'Basschatter that starts the most weird threads the most' - Its PETE ACADEMY (cue thunderous applause.....)

Sorry, peeps. I often leave home and do not need the toilet until I get home 6 hours later. I am, of course, an android and do not drink liquids.[/quote]

I, the inverted camel, can last almost a day without need to urinate or defecate. 'Tis a useful talent if needed...

Otherwise, I find this thread just a bit too "Iggy Pop" for my liking.
Why?
Someone once gave him loadsa pills. Which he duly ingested.
No. Not illicit narcotics.
Laxatives.
He did the gig half-on, half-off-stage, with his a**e over a bucket! What a pro!

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[quote name='megallica' post='1274040' date='Jun 18 2011, 06:23 PM']Ugh, surely the steam would give him away?

I've given this too much thought already...[/quote]
At that time we were playing big halls with big stages and he used to walk over to his amp with his back to the crowd and adjust his Mesa boogie while pissehhh and the drummer used to shout through his headset "dirty basstard" !

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[quote name='skankdelvar' post='1273895' date='Jun 18 2011, 04:40 PM']Oh, that! 6 or 7 immediately consecutive sneezes while overtaking an Artic on the M-way. Always seems to happen.

Never sneeze onstage. Though I accidentally gobbed [i]off[/i]stage onto the Mayor of Kensington and Chelsea once. Slow-motion moment as it back-spun through the air and landed neatly on his chain of office.[/quote]


:) :)

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[quote name='Pete Academy' post='1273246' date='Jun 17 2011, 09:43 PM']Do you find that, despite having a piss before you go on stage, five minutes into the set and you're dying to go again?[/quote]
Nope...I always have a 'contingency piss' before going on.

[quote name='Pete Academy' post='1273260' date='Jun 17 2011, 09:55 PM']There is absolutely nothing worse than desperately needing a piss mid gig.[/quote]

Cancer?

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[quote name='blamelouis' post='1274208' date='Jun 18 2011, 10:29 PM']At that time we were playing big halls with big stages and he used to walk over to his amp with his back to the crowd and adjust his Mesa boogie while pissehhh and the drummer used to shout through his headset "dirty basstard" ![/quote]


Maybe my childish humour but this is the funniest thing I've heard in weeks.

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[quote name='Pete Academy' post='1273260' date='Jun 17 2011, 09:55 PM']There is absolutely nothing worse than desperately needing a piss mid gig.[/quote]
You have obviously never walked down Bedminster High St on a Saturday afternoon :)

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Sometimes I go about ten times in the twenty minutes before going on stage and then feel a desperate need to go again two songs in (which I manage to control until the end of the set), other times I have no issues. A former band used to incorporate a drum solo into the end of Johnny B Goode, which on a couple of occasions was my opportunity to head offstage at a great rate of knots.

The ceilidh band is great for toilet opportunities - Mrs Zero spends a few minutes prior to each dance explaining how it works, giving me the opportunity to head off for swift relief.

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I went for a piss pre set once, ended up splashing on my leg in a set of light jeans, so a horrible dark patch of piss formed.
Franticly trying to dry them off rubbing lavatory paper on it some bloke came in, looked at me rubbing my crotch and walked out.

I piss loads when I'm nervous, or drunk, or in bed (annoyingly the bathroom is downstairs and at the other end of the house). But not when i'm up on stage.

Edited by Ross
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I only ever go before each set - the trick is to be absolutely bladdered the night before.

I've had most of the best gigs of my life the night after a heavy session and no need to go for a pee.


Funny that. I always play well but the gig after a heavy session is always a good one, albeit a sweaty one.

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[quote name='Rich' post='1274763' date='Jun 19 2011, 02:38 PM']You have obviously never walked down Bedminster High St on a Saturday afternoon :)[/quote]

Well, any afternoon really.

Not yet in a band, so can't comment on the water scenario, but I do suffer from "biker's bladder" - or the need to stop every services on the M-way and fumble through three layers of overclothes, leathers and thermals.

Will now be keeping an eye out for stage piss if I ever get good enough for a band though.

And as for sneezing going past a lorry, try doing that with a helmet and visor 1.5" from your eyes...eugh.

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Saw Dr Hook at Barbarellas, back in the Medicine Show days - when they were a good band - Dennis wotsisname walked off for a piss mid set and left the rest of em to it. Not sure if it was part of the act, but we nicked it and made it part of ours with the band was with at the time.

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