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FINALLY got Thea back. Collected her at 10 this morning. Fast asleep on her bed.

Took a little trip to the seaside this weekend, down to Dorset. I was walking along the beach when I saw a bloke and a woman shouting, and then they started fighting. It got so bad that the police turned up, but instead of calming things down the copper started hitting the guy with his baton. Then the bloke got hold of the baton and started hitting his wife AND the copper. Then just when I couldn’t imagine things getting any worse, a crocodile turned up and stole all the sausages.

Merry Christmas everyone! I just wanted to tell you that I really appreciate all that you do and are in the world of bass. I love this community and am raising a glass to the lot of ya! Have a safe, peaceful and happy break, however and whatever you are celebrating. Big ole love! Dooooooood!

Basschat, reference my last status, thank you for being an awesome place to be. None of that other ****, just bass 😍

Ladies and gents, my beautiful granddaughter Ellie. Born at 03:15 yesterday.

I am very proud to say I am now an endorsee for Aguilar Amplification! A huge thank you specifically to Pete from their UK distribution Barnes & Mullins!

Can you spare just ONE minute of your time to watch my video, like, share, SUBSCRIBE and follow, even leave me a positive comment? It would really mean a great deal - and to prove you prefer watching actual bass content over the fakers of the world taking over our feeeeeeeds!!!!

Had one of those "Dad this is my new number" scam texts this morning. Rather than immediately delete it, I'm going to see how long I can keep them going. I asked "is that you Felicity?" and they said yes. Obvs I do not have a daughter named Felicity So now I've invented Felicity's no-good bum of a husband Hugo, who keeps selling her iPhones to fund his gambling habit. Let's see if they take that bait too.

Gail Ann Dorsey is one of the nicest people I've ever talked to. She even showed me Marilyn. What an incredible honour to have her on my podcast.

Ska band's gig next Saturday is at a Conservative Club. Hmm, well a payday's a payday I suppose. Anyway... I've bought a special shirt for the occasion.

Guy Pratt is attending the South East Bass Bash this year! 😊

Unbelievably, another Basschatter has just accused me of plagiarism. His words, not mine.

Been transcribing my average fretless lines, so one day I can publish my meh mwahs.

Just won a Shergold Telstar bass via an Instagram competition. Lovely! 🤩

Thank you everyone! Together we raised £8,560 which, with the non JG donation of £35, amounts to a grand total of £8,595. Most of the funds are already with Andy and the balance will be with him in the next few days. Here's to Iris 🥰

Daughter's wedding on Saturday. Speech written, proof-read and practised. Suit collected from cleaners. Car getting valeted tomorrow. Fingers crossed for the weather.

Just scored a Spector Q4 on eBay for £102. Result.

Missed out on Oasis tickets? Don't worry, you can recreate that reunion gig experience at home. Simply stand 2 Lego figures at the far end of your garden, drink some warm watered-down beer, play a Slade single at 33rpm and set fire to £150.

Just played my EUB for over an hour without any discomfort (not the cleanest playing, but small steps). I must be getting used to it.

Another ripping gig on Saturday night. Oh how I love playing ska and reggae. It's such happy music. 🖤🤍🖤🤍🖤

15th SE BASS BASH....JUST 1 WEEK TO GO!!!

Dog walks into a post office, says he wants to send a telegram. "OK" says the clerk, "what's the message?" The dog says, "Woof woof woof, woof woof woof woof woof, woof woof." Clerk says, "OK, but for the same price, you can add one more 'woof'". The dog frowns and replies, "But then it wouldn't make any sense."

My lovely Aunt Florrie passed away earlier this year, she left me and the wife some wedge, the missus bought a new sofa and I bought an EUB with it, I named it Flo (the EUB, not the sofa).

My daughter wants to play! Happy days! Also twice as much gear to buy which I see as an additional plus point. She quickly dropped playing guitar after a couple of tries but has stuck at 4 strings and asks me to use a bass almost every night. She got the bug big time and is soooo excited by anything and everything bass. I'm loving it ❤️

New number plates on the bassmobile

Lucy, in the sky, with diamonds. John Lennon never quite got the hang of Cluedo

If alcohol can damage your short term memory, just think what alcohol can do.

PMs in Status Updates. How? Why? Mind boggled, as in: not critical, but just not understanding.

New website is now live. Launch of the Standard Series in conjunction with the revamped website. Please swing by and check it all out. https://acguitars.co.uk

Amazing ... 245 BCers have donated to the Travis family fund to help Iris https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/mark-clark-3

Updating my status so it bumps to the top! Fundraiser for Iris, Andy Trav's daughter, includes well over 100 donations and is now over £3,200. Don't stop https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/mark-clark-3

Just got a "yes" on a big, big guest on my bass podcast. Chuffed to bits. Can't wait to speak to this amazing bassist.

NCLD (New Camera Lens Day) Picked up this mint Canon 70-300 IS USM for a good price.

Is it wrong to be proud of the fact I made my drummer physically sick with the high SPL of my Trace Elliot TE1200 + Barefaced Super Twin rig? 😲

No more long scales - last two now sold - quite a catharsis!

I'm very pleased to announce that I am now endorsing/an endorsing artist for La Bella Strings!

How do you find out how heavy a red hot chilli pepper is? Give it a weigh, give it a weigh, give it a weigh now.

Can you all stop listing things for sale I want to buy. Thank you.

These bloody celebrity gardeners are all liars. I saw one a while back advising us that horse manure would make strawberries tastier and more juicy. In reality, it does nothing to improve them at all. I'm going back to double cream and I'd advise everyone else to do likewise.

A shout out to my grandson Oliver @Dasbassman who has just signed up here and may be one of the youngest at 13. He's becoming a fine player and also plays guitar and keys (& good vocals). I've pretty much given up gigging now so it's over to Ollie to carry the flag. He's currently playing a cheapo P style 30" Ebay bass through a Peavey combo I found cheap. He's saving for a decent 34", maybe a MIM P or similar. He also plays a US Strat (I helped find that😂) through a Marshall valvestate. I'm going to nag him to get posting now!

Pino interview on BBC Radio Wales here just over 1 hour 7 mins in https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m001k6dh

OMG. It's Pancake Day next week (21st). That really crêped up on me.

I am rather old to have discovered bass guitar, but I can't do much about that now, I'm hooked. I have a Fender Mustang which I have owned for 5 weeks and I love. I am most excited to discover how great it feels to play with two fingers on my strumming hand. I have also discovered that playing a sound or phrase that cuts through the other members of the band in harmony is thrilling. Every time.

I was amused by the combination of the car, its position occupying two parking spaces, and the small sign directly in front of it.

What's the difference between The Polar Express and HS2? One's an improbable fantasy about a train, and the other is a film with Tom Hanks.

Ashdown LB30 incoming!

GNU Terry Pratchett

Well I think I scooped todays local bargain - Brand new Gear4Music Acoustic bass (not half bad after a bit of fettling), TFI gig back and best of all 2 x brand new packs of unopened Dunlop strings in my usual gauge…all for the princely sum of £50 and a 45 minute drive 😁😁😁😁

Just found out that a dentist near me has been arrested for selling drugs. Shows you how wrong you can be about people. I had been going to him for over 10 years. Never knew he was a dentist.

I'm thinking of killing off some characters in the book I'm writing. It'll certainly spice up my autobiography...