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Re-enlisting former bandmate


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Posted (edited)
10 hours ago, Jonesy said:

If he's a good drummer and everyone gets on with him then I'd probably have him back. It kinda depends a bit around his initial decision to quit too. He's admitted he made a mistake, but was there any specific reason he left in the first place? If there was and it's still an issue (eg. Doesn't like the set, too many/not enough gigs, doesn't get on with everyone) then he'll likely end up leaving again unless something changes.

I said I would prefer local gigs to ones that involved too much travelling. He interpreted this as an insult to him - how I don’t know, cos he never got us a single gig anywhere! Maybe I am just not ambitious enough…

 

We do have other options but this would be the easy one.

 

Edited by Mickeyboro
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1 hour ago, Mickeyboro said:

I said I would prefer local gigs to ones that involved too much travelling. He interpreted this as an insult to him - how I don’t know, cos he never got us a single gig anywhere! Maybe I am just not ambitious enough…

 

We do have other options but this would be the easy one. The singer likes him cos they are both blues purists, which old strengthen his position. Band politics!

 

 

Drummers, eh? I think as long as the whole band have a chat together and agree on a catchment area for gigs then he likely won't bugger off again. 

 

If there are other options though I'd base it on personality and who I'd rather hang out with over actual ability, unless this bloke is noticeably better than everyone. 

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I was that leaver. 

 

They took me back, I was grateful and happy to play.

 

But I have managed my expectations of the band....

 

And they have understood the problems that caused me to walk.  They've done nothing about the problems, but they have understood them....

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I have been a leaver from a club band, to do more rocky stuff, and subsequently rejoined to help them out. They did sort out a full-time replacement, then needed me in to dep again for a while.

 

The band I left to join dumped me so they could get a mate of the lead guitarist and drummer's in. Some years down the line (a few months ago), they wanted to re-recruit me. However, in the meantime, B****t had happened with me taking a very different viewpoint to them and it was rather obvious from various Facebook posts by some members just how racist they were, so I politely declined.

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On 21/03/2024 at 23:08, Mickeyboro said:

If you have experience of re-enlisting a former bandmate, please feel free to share. 
 

Has it worked for you?

 

Do previous problems recur?

 

If someone quit without warning would you trust them again?

 

Ta!

Speaking as a person who has been asked back by bands I flounced from, and by band members who flounced from me, it can work just fine.

We all change, circumstances change, and at the end of the day it's just music.

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As many have said, it totally depends on the circumstances.
If they left for a good reason, were upfront about it, gave you plenty of notice, did the gigs you had booked and it was all amicable... I'd certainly have them back.
If they left halfway through a gig because they had a hissy fit for no good reason, probably not so much.
 

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I was in a very good band with a great guy but his problem is that he never thought a song was finished.

Even when we played together again after an 18 year break he was still saying songs we had gigged in a set form for years were not finished.

 

I nearly formed a new band with him again, but ultimately decided against it. I can’t be dealing with that approach.

 

No art is ever finished, it is only abandoned,  but it’s futile to keep going back over and over again at the expense of moving forward.

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I've had experience of taking an old drummer and an old guitarist back after splits in the past.

The old drummer was fired because he had an ego the size of St Paul's Cathedral and getting back with him didn't work out and I'm happier not to speak to him these days.
The guitarist worked out better (not perfect as he has his moods at times) and we're 8 years or so into this round.

Edited by 12stringbassist
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6 hours ago, fretmeister said:

was in a very good band with a great guy but his problem is that he never thought a song was finished.

Even when we played together again after an 18 year break he was still saying songs we had gigged in a set form for years were not finished.

 

I'm currently in the same situation. We cycle through musicians regularly, and extra bars get added and removed each week.

 

Intros and endings are different each time we play a tune.

 

I don't even know what musicians will be at each practice. Last week a new drummer I'd never met before. Same the week before. 🤣

 

 

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I quit a band once; I climbed out of the toilet window and ran away.  Not my proudest moment, but neither was rejoining the same band a year or so later only to quit again because, despite the assurances, nothing had changed.

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1 minute ago, Jackroadkill said:

I quit a band once; I climbed out of the toilet window and ran away.  Not my proudest moment, but neither was rejoining the same band a year or so later only to quit again because, despite the assurances, nothing had changed.

$hit happens !

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50 minutes ago, Jackroadkill said:

I quit a band once; I climbed out of the toilet window and ran away.  Not my proudest moment, but neither was rejoining the same band a year or so later only to quit again because, despite the assurances, nothing had changed.


Did you climb back in through the same toilet window? The world needs to know 😆.

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This reminds me of years ago when my then band went out for a curry. The guitarist went to the toilet, and then walked in through the front door proudly announcing he’d just done a runner. Don’t think he really got it 

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I was once sacked after having a nose to nose with the singer immediately before a gig.  The band had a few bassist-less months then the singer left and I was asked back.  We carried on for a bit with a new name but it wasn't quite the same.  Old singer was impossible but a good front man, new guy not so much.

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On 23/03/2024 at 11:51, fretmeister said:

 

No art is ever finished, it is only abandoned,  but it’s futile to keep going back over and over again at the expense of moving forward.

From my years working as a local Newspaper journo, I learned that sometimes “good enough is good enough.” 
 

As in, 250 words by today’s deadline is worth more than 400 words next Thursday afternoon. 
 

I don’t think there’s any piece of art or music anywhere whose creator wouldn’t go back and tinker with but there’s a cut off point for me where it becomes diminishing returns - not a better or worse version, just a different version.
 

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18 hours ago, Jackroadkill said:

 

Yes, but I waited until the band were leaving the rehearsal space before I did so.  Like I said, not my proudest moment!

 

With some of the bands I've been in, the others would have sold my gear in that time, and used the money for booze!

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8 minutes ago, fretmeister said:

 

With some of the bands I've been in, the others would have sold my gear in that time, and used the money for booze!

This is why we call them - bandmates, not - band friends !

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On 21/03/2024 at 23:08, Mickeyboro said:

If you have experience of re-enlisting a former bandmate, please feel free to share. 
 

Has it worked for you?

 

Do previous problems recur?

 

If someone quit without warning would you trust them again?

 

Ta!


For the most part, if they unceremoniously left me and my band mates up a creek with little to no good reason, it would be difficult to justify to myself, let alone the rest of the band, a good reason to have them back.

 

However, relationships are complicated and messy, and people can change; how much and in what ways will be dictated by themselves. I suppose what I’m saying is it can be hard to disregard the human element.

 

Typically, most people will put up with somebody that’s not overly impressive for the fact they get along well and they are reliable, over somebody who is breathtaking good but is always late/drunk/cancels last minute/a pain in the arse etc.

 

Remember, all the stories of big-name bands full of arseholes that couldn’t get along and were the most unprofessional people to ever grace earth - they’re the exception, not the rule. Most bands like that never even make it to recording an album, I would reckon.

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I’ve worked with people from previous bands in new bands, but I don’t think I’ve ever been in a band where an ex member has come back.
 

Then again most of my work is depping in existing bands, so there’s a huge overlap of people coming and going for different reasons. 

Unless someone has personally shafted me I’ve got no reason not to work with them again. 

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19 hours ago, MiltyG565 said:

Remember, all the stories of big-name bands full of arseholes that couldn’t get along and were the most unprofessional people to ever grace earth - they’re the exception, not the rule. Most bands like that never even make it to recording an album, I would reckon.

 

True. If you are in a band that will earn you enough to enable you to live the life of Reilly, it's worth making the effort to get along with people you can't stand. If your band plays for £200 at the Dog and Duck every fortnight, it 's a different matter.

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