jonnybass Posted May 2, 2023 Share Posted May 2, 2023 So when discussing the fact we have a relatively short period of time to practice for a gig, and looking at available times for practices. I questioned why we were going ahead with the gig, tbh there isnt much in it for the band. The message I got was lets just get on with it theres not allot of time etc...eventually the message goes out, if we have to we will get a replacement bass player. So Im now left feeling utterly disposable. There's a shed load of reasons why this comment came out later, too much drama to go into, but do i just accept it as a one of those ill thought out comments or am i right to think "Whats the point of playing in this band?" I really don't know which way to go with it..so I thought I'd ask the hive mind Jonny 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
acidbass Posted May 2, 2023 Share Posted May 2, 2023 Sounds like a toxic environment. I would run for the hills. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
uk_lefty Posted May 2, 2023 Share Posted May 2, 2023 I feel for you but it sounds like there's three big reasons why walking away wouldn't be a bad thing: the band thinks they can just turn up and gig and everything will be ok; you're the only one who sees the value in rehearsal and is trying to actually organise stuff with no decent response from the majority; they or a character in the band sees bassists as unimportant. All sounds pretty crappy to me and better off walking away if I've read it right. I walked out of a band after five and a half years for similar reasons. We had become good friends with a few points of disagreement that we always managed to work through. What did it for me was that through COVID nobody could be bothered refreshing the set, rehearsing at home, trying to do just anything to keep it going, except me. Then the drummer organises a gig on a date he knows I can't do and with no rehearsal time after months and months of no rehearsals. This was on top of criticism for having a personal life that interfered with his crackpot ideas of staging a gig at just a few days notice. Also, the way four of us found out about the gig was a Facebook message sent by the drummer, he hadn't even cleared it with the singer who owned the pub where he announced the gig was to happen! They got a dep in who was better prepared than the actual band, the gig was a disaster and I walked shortly after by text message. Five and a half years just packed in, I couldn't continue with the stress of being ordered around by someone who turns up twenty mins late for rehearsal, spends twenty mins moaning about the drum kit, then goes for a smoke. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
police squad Posted May 2, 2023 Share Posted May 2, 2023 yep just leave. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigRedX Posted May 2, 2023 Share Posted May 2, 2023 If you feel the need to ask this question on an open forum, then you should probably leave. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigAlonBass Posted May 2, 2023 Share Posted May 2, 2023 " if we have to we will get a replacement bass player." It must be a wonderful feeling, knowing you're such a valued Member of the Band... Run, don't walk, away. Now. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonnybass Posted May 2, 2023 Author Share Posted May 2, 2023 37 minutes ago, uk_lefty said: I feel for you but it sounds like there's three big reasons why walking away wouldn't be a bad thing: the band thinks they can just turn up and gig and everything will be ok; you're the only one who sees the value in rehearsal and is trying to actually organise stuff with no decent response from the majority; they or a character in the band sees bassists as unimportant. All sounds pretty crappy to me and better off walking away if I've read it right. I walked out of a band after five and a half years for similar reasons. We had become good friends with a few points of disagreement that we always managed to work through. What did it for me was that through COVID nobody could be bothered refreshing the set, rehearsing at home, trying to do just anything to keep it going, except me. Then the drummer organises a gig on a date he knows I can't do and with no rehearsal time after months and months of no rehearsals. This was on top of criticism for having a personal life that interfered with his crackpot ideas of staging a gig at just a few days notice. Also, the way four of us found out about the gig was a Facebook message sent by the drummer, he hadn't even cleared it with the singer who owned the pub where he announced the gig was to happen! They got a dep in who was better prepared than the actual band, the gig was a disaster and I walked shortly after by text message. Five and a half years just packed in, I couldn't continue with the stress of being ordered around by someone who turns up twenty mins late for rehearsal, spends twenty mins moaning about the drum kit, then goes for a smoke. Sorry I've possibly put this across incorrectly. Guitarist was trying to organise rehearsals while telling us all there wasnt enough time to do enough. I asked why we were doing the gig. "exposure" was the answer, guitarist announces he's leaving the band after the gig so it will be his last. So I ask again why are we doing it we have no replacement, again Im told "exposure" I ask whats the value in exposure for a band with no guitarist, thats when the whole band are told we can move forward with a replacement bass player. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lozz196 Posted May 2, 2023 Share Posted May 2, 2023 There is a certain amount of exposure going on imo, it’s exposing those for what they are. I’d be out of there asap. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fleabag Posted May 2, 2023 Share Posted May 2, 2023 Go ! Walk out the door. Dont turn around now. They dont love you anymore. 3 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Graham Posted May 2, 2023 Share Posted May 2, 2023 Guitarist is on his way out, sounds like you are too At this point, just ask yourself if you want to one final gig with a band that's about to collapse 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sr_1200 Posted May 2, 2023 Share Posted May 2, 2023 Get out of this band as soon as you can. Don’t make the mistake I did. I was in a band that never allowed me any say over which cover songs we played, (The singer was always asked for approval first) always told me what bass lines I could and couldn’t play,(lead guitarist was free to do as he liked) always wanted it exactly like the record bass line, always telling me to turn down the bass amp constantly, even though I could barely hear myself. They had the guitars fiercely loud, and The icing on the cake was being forced to play novelty songs, sometimes with changed lyrics. I started to refuse to play some of these songs, it got into an argument, and I left the band. They then sent me a text telling me I was kicked out because of my shitty negative attitude. The point is they never liked me from the start, and never had any respect for me. Think about that point… Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miles'tone Posted May 2, 2023 Share Posted May 2, 2023 It HAS to be fun. Find some new people to play with. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WinterMute Posted May 2, 2023 Share Posted May 2, 2023 Whilst you don't actually need to like the people you play with, you do have to know they value you as a player and band-mate, that's always been the kicker for me. Of course it helps immensely if you all do get on famously, because it's much more fun. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beer of the Bass Posted May 2, 2023 Share Posted May 2, 2023 It's a funny one, using deps for gigs when a member is unavailable; I've seen times it's worked well and everyone has been comfortable about it, but if anything about the band relationship isn't healthy, it can really bring that out. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackroadkill Posted May 2, 2023 Share Posted May 2, 2023 Replacement bass player? Maybe you should get a replacement band. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Japhet Posted May 2, 2023 Share Posted May 2, 2023 As a bass player, you generally have as much say as the guitarist's girlfriend's Mum's dog groomer. It's the law. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JoeEvans Posted May 2, 2023 Share Posted May 2, 2023 If there isn't enough time to rehearse with the existing band, how are they going to bring in a new bass player? I would tell them to go for it and good luck with the gig. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lw. Posted May 2, 2023 Share Posted May 2, 2023 I suppose at this point the only reason to stay would be that it's your only source of income. If it's not it seems pretty clear that it's not working so isn't worth your time. I have played in bands with people I didn't really like & other bands where I didn't really like the music but there has to be something positive there to make you stay, music shouldn't be a chore unless it's your job. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jonnybass Posted May 2, 2023 Author Share Posted May 2, 2023 1 hour ago, Beer of the Bass said: It's a funny one, using deps for gigs when a member is unavailable; I've seen times it's worked well and everyone has been comfortable about it, but if anything about the band relationship isn't healthy, it can really bring that out. I've used deps and been a dep, totally happy with that, never seen or been in a band where the person themselves isnt asked and everyone else in the band is. If I wasnt able to make the gig (which i can) and he'd have taken me aside and said "how would you feel about a dep for the gig?" thats different from the proposal of since you dont agree with me we will look at the solution of getting a stand in, at least I think it is or am i being too sensitive? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Velarian Posted May 2, 2023 Share Posted May 2, 2023 Go on now, go, walk out the door Just turn around now 'Cause you're not welcome anymore Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbye? You think I'd crumble? You think I'd lay down and die? Oh no, not I, I will survive 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
asingardenof Posted May 2, 2023 Share Posted May 2, 2023 4 hours ago, jonnybass said: So when discussing the fact we have a relatively short period of time to practice for a gig, and looking at available times for practices. I questioned why we were going ahead with the gig, tbh there isnt much in it for the band. The message I got was lets just get on with it theres not allot of time etc...eventually the message goes out, if we have to we will get a replacement bass player. So Im now left feeling utterly disposable. There's a shed load of reasons why this comment came out later, too much drama to go into, but do i just accept it as a one of those ill thought out comments or am i right to think "Whats the point of playing in this band?" I really don't know which way to go with it..so I thought I'd ask the hive mind Jonny If there's not enough time for you as established bassist to rehearse, how difficult will it be for them to a) find a replacement and b) get them up to speed in the same amount of time? I'm not sure I'd want to stick around if I were you. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trueno Posted May 2, 2023 Share Posted May 2, 2023 Get shut! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wellsyboy Posted May 2, 2023 Share Posted May 2, 2023 the answer is in the title of the thread Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neepheid Posted May 2, 2023 Share Posted May 2, 2023 Image by The Oatmeal. 4 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
diskwave Posted May 2, 2023 Share Posted May 2, 2023 Top tip for anyone in this situation. Always make it so that it's YOU auditioning them. Always worked for me. I would go to an audition and immediately start telling the others what's what. Most hate it and tell u to get lost, the ones that don't and enjoy the knowledge are my sort of people. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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