Community Fundraiser for our very own Lee650

[Hacksawbob]

Done.

[silverfoxnik]

On 13/06/2025 at 10:40, lee650 said:

Ive only just became aware of this (and spent 30 mins sobbing afterward) a few members im close too will know that after 22 years of marriage my wife asked for a divorce.

 

At the risk of oversharing. For many years ive struggled with (for a long time undiagnosed) carpal tunnel in both wrists, which at times has hampered my playing. This is on the mend, but among other things has taken a toll.

 

Im devastated, but ive done a lot of thinking and looking back, it cant go on

 

Ive been harming myself mentally, and suppressed anger and frustration and sadness until it warped me into something im not, and caused her to fall out of love with me

ive numbed the pain with Alcohol which has affected my physical health.

 

She knew what was happening to me, but dealt with it by keeping busy with other things and remained focused on creating a life for herself that didnt include me, in time we were more roommates than a husband and wife. So sad, we had a beautiful relationship, and it withered and died and we both let it happen! heartbreaking, truly heartbreaking

 

Ill always love her,she was my best friend, soulmate and the love of my life. Right now im still full of anger and resentment and need to try and let it all go and forgive, because ive tortured myself and her for years 

 

If this looks at all familiar i beg you COMMUNICATE, share your feelings and find the person you love. Im not courting sympathy or even attention, but please hug your partner and love them fiercely and with all of your heart.

 

Ive been a nember of this forum since 2007 and it has been part of my everyday life in all that time. Ive made friends for life and brothers id never had, and many many times been a small light in my darkness. I cant thank you all enough for this, im very moved and grateful to have so many wonderful people in my lif

 

Im going to move out and get a flat with the shirt on my back and a couple of basses, at 51 my life parallels when i left Newcastle at 19 

 

Im on the cusp of a new start

My focus will be on healing myself phyisically and mentally, i plan to throw myself into the thing thats always defined me , Music!!

 

 

Time to forgive and heal

  

Searingly honest and reflective words @lee650 - food for thought for all of us, and thanks for sharing... 

 

Music has always been the help and comfort that got me through the tough times, too. 

 

Wishing you the best of luck with everything ( now you're 19 again)! 🙏😊

 

Edited 10 hours ago by silverfoxnik

[stewblack]

My life underwent a similar upheaval a few years back. She bought me out of the house so I had a few grand to splurge in the Basschat market place and ever since I have been living the life of an itinerant musician. 

I'm pretty much broke by most people's standards but I wouldn't go back for any money.

Hang in there mate, life can surprise you in a good way too