Anyone else just ready to give up?

[TRBboy]

13 hours ago, Stub Mandrel said:

Exactly, indie isn't a style, it's just a mixed bag of non-mainstream bands.

Which ironically became a mainstream genre in the 90's 😅

 

@BigRedX has the origin story nailed, but at some point 'Indie' seems to have become a cover-all for guitar band pop/soft rock.

[Alfie]

Thanks to the helpful advice here I realized I was being pathetic. I worked some charm and reconciled my warring band mates, we now have three gigs on the horizon. I also started a band with some colleagues and an in talks with a couple of other projects. To expand my musical horizons I have decided to learn Motown styles.

[dmccombe7]

2 hours ago, Alfie said:

Thanks to the helpful advice here I realized I was being pathetic. I worked some charm and reconciled my warring band mates, we now have three gigs on the horizon. I also started a band with some colleagues and an in talks with a couple of other projects. To expand my musical horizons I have decided to learn Motown styles.

Well done. Positive thinking and actions work a treat.

Dave

[Stub Mandrel]

17 hours ago, Vin Venal said:

I think if I live to be 85, I hope I'll still be trying to get a band together. 🙃 

 

I hope you manage to get one together before that 🤣

[SteveXFR]

I'm just about there now. Gigs tonight and tomorrow night and that's me done.

[dmccombe7]

1 hour ago, SteveXFR said:

I'm just about there now. Gigs tonight and tomorrow night and that's me done.

Why what's going on there. ?

Dave

[snorkie635]

2 hours ago, SteveXFR said:

I'm just about there now. Gigs tonight and tomorrow night and that's me done.

Good luck Steve. Make them good ones. If you do 'retire', don't leave BC though. Best S.

[KingBollock]

2 hours ago, SteveXFR said:

I'm just about there now. Gigs tonight and tomorrow night and that's me done.

I hope you enjoy them more than you think you will. I know you said that it’s the lead up, rather than the gig itself, that gets to you, so hopefully you’ll end on a high and be left with good memories.

[Lfalex v1.1]

2 hours ago, SteveXFR said:

I'm just about there now. Gigs tonight and tomorrow night and that's me done.

 

If it's what you want (and it sounds like it is), the relief will be tangible when you're done. 

 

It was for me when I realised I didn't have to go to the browbeatings that "band practice" swiftly became. 

 

Personally,  I'm not selling up. I've started to enjoy playing again. 

But you've got to do what's right for you. 

[Delberthot]

I've been playing since 1987 and gigging since 1993 and I quit my band last weekend.

 

I don't miss it yet. Unless I had songs to learn for a gig then I never picked my bass up at home and I haven't done so far but then this is the quiet time for a wedding band so I wouldn't normally have been playing much at this time of year.

 

It's funny but I remember reading an interview with Jack Bruce many years ago when he said that he never played at home, only when gigging and remember thinking that I couldn't imagine not playing every day (I was about 14 at the time and still driving my neighbours crazy with my playing)

 

I plan to keep a hold of all of my gear, I don't need the money for anything else and anything I own has a good chance of being worth more the longer I keep a hold of it.

 

To be honest I have been thinking about quitting gigging for about 18 months now but something that happened during last year made my mind up so I decided to keep going to the end of the year as our singer had just qualified as a teacher and was leaving so I wanted us all to see out the year together.

 

My wife thinks I'll miss it but to be honest I haven't enjoyed gigging for a long time now. the best part of gigging is having a laugh on the way to the gig and socialising with my band mates before the gig and at the break. The playing element became a chore.

 

I have lots of plans to do stuff at the weekends that I haven't been able to do before. No more missing friend's weddings, family events, celebrations, my wife having to go to everything on her own. I can finally make plans to do things and not have to worry about bookings coming in at the last minute. No more using annual leave to take half and full day holidays to go to gigs half way across the country, I can actually use them to go on holiday.

 

The other thing was that during the Christmas run I was working Monday to Friday, taking a half day on a Friday, driving up to Aberdeen, gigging on the Friday and Saturday, back down the road at 4am on the Sunday and then back into work on the Monday. That was for the whole of December.

 

I had a Lethal Weapon moment when I realised that I'm getting too old for this sh!t. Gone are the days when the gigs were on my doorstep, at least two thirds of the gigs in the diary were at least 2 hour's drive away and I just don't want to do it anymore.

 

For the first time in 30 years I can do what I want at the weekend, get to my bed at a reasonable hour and go back into work on a Monday having had a proper sleep at the weekend ready for the week ahead and not fall asleep at my desk.

 

No more arguments, band politics, crappy WhatsApp messages when I am on holiday, no more stress

Edited January 27 by Delberthot

[dmccombe7]

36 minutes ago, Delberthot said:

I've been playing since 1987 and gigging since 1993 and I quit my band last weekend.

 

I don't miss it yet. Unless I had songs to learn for a gig then I never picked my bass up at home and I haven't done so far but then this is the quiet time for a wedding band so I wouldn't normally have been playing much at this time of year.

 

It's funny but I remember reading an interview with Jack Bruce many years ago when he said that he never played at home, only when gigging and remember thinking that I couldn't imagine not playing every day (I was about 14 at the time and still driving my neighbours crazy with my playing)

 

I plan to keep a hold of all of my gear, I don't need the money for anything else and anything I own has a good chance of being worth more the longer I keep a hold of it.

 

To be honest I have been thinking about quitting gigging for about 18 months now but something that happened during last year made my mind up so I decided to keep going to the end of the year as our singer had just qualified as a teacher and was leaving so I wanted us all to see out the year together.

 

My wife thinks I'll miss it but to be honest I haven't enjoyed gigging for a long time now. the best part of gigging is having a laugh on the way to the gig and socialising with my band mates before the gig and at the break. The playing element became a chore.

 

I have lots of plans to do stuff at the weekends that I haven't been able to do before. No more missing friend's weddings, family events, celebrations, my wife having to go to everything on her own. I can finally make plans to do things and not have to worry about bookings coming in at the last minute. No more using annual leave to take half and full day holidays to go to gigs half way across the country, I can actually use them to go on holiday.

 

The other thing was that during the Christmas run I was working Monday to Friday, taking a half day on a Friday, driving up to Aberdeen, gigging on the Friday and Saturday, back down the road at 4am on the Sunday and then back into work on the Monday. That was for the whole of December.

 

I had a Lethal Weapon moment when I realised that I'm getting too old for this sh!t. Gone are the days when the gigs were on my doorstep, at least two thirds of the gigs in the diary were at least 2 hour's drive away and I just don't want to do it anymore.

 

For the first time in 30 years I can do what I want at the weekend, get to my bed at a reasonable hour and go back into work on a Monday having had a proper sleep at the weekend ready for the week ahead and not fall asleep at my desk.

 

No more arguments, band politics, crappy WhatsApp messages when I am on holiday, no more stress

I've made it perfectly clear to both bands that i don't want the band feeling like a job as it then becomes a chore for me. Typically 2-3 gigs a month is ok for me altho Dec is usually a good bit busier. I'm not happy doing 2 nights in a row as it just knackers me but i will do the Fri and Sat pre Xmas thing as long as Xmas isn't the day after.

I have a thing about Xmas ................... i just love it and its a day i very rarely got to enjoy when i was working full time. I'm making up for lost time. 

I'm retired (63 yrs old) so not getting any younger. I gave up gigs from mid 90's to 2010 when i got back into it. I didn't really miss bands but it just sort of happened and i got the bug again and couldn't get enough of being in a band. And now i'm busier than i ever was as a youngster.

 

Why not take a break and get into a band that everyone agrees is part time, fun, a hobby and agree up front how many gigs you all want to play per week/month/year and stick to that. Falkirk to Aberdeen and staying overnight is a no no for me. I have cats i need to get home for and drummer has 3 dogs so that wont work. Typically a 2 hr drive is max i want to travel for a gig except on a rare occasion for something special.

 

I have a feeling you will get back into something a bit more relaxed and enjoyable. 

All the very best with whatever you decide tho.

Dave

[neepheid]

1 hour ago, Delberthot said:

I've been playing since 1987 and gigging since 1993 and I quit my band last weekend.

 

I don't miss it yet. Unless I had songs to learn for a gig then I never picked my bass up at home and I haven't done so far but then this is the quiet time for a wedding band so I wouldn't normally have been playing much at this time of year.

 

It's funny but I remember reading an interview with Jack Bruce many years ago when he said that he never played at home, only when gigging and remember thinking that I couldn't imagine not playing every day (I was about 14 at the time and still driving my neighbours crazy with my playing)

 

I plan to keep a hold of all of my gear, I don't need the money for anything else and anything I own has a good chance of being worth more the longer I keep a hold of it.

 

To be honest I have been thinking about quitting gigging for about 18 months now but something that happened during last year made my mind up so I decided to keep going to the end of the year as our singer had just qualified as a teacher and was leaving so I wanted us all to see out the year together.

 

My wife thinks I'll miss it but to be honest I haven't enjoyed gigging for a long time now. the best part of gigging is having a laugh on the way to the gig and socialising with my band mates before the gig and at the break. The playing element became a chore.

 

I have lots of plans to do stuff at the weekends that I haven't been able to do before. No more missing friend's weddings, family events, celebrations, my wife having to go to everything on her own. I can finally make plans to do things and not have to worry about bookings coming in at the last minute. No more using annual leave to take half and full day holidays to go to gigs half way across the country, I can actually use them to go on holiday.

 

The other thing was that during the Christmas run I was working Monday to Friday, taking a half day on a Friday, driving up to Aberdeen, gigging on the Friday and Saturday, back down the road at 4am on the Sunday and then back into work on the Monday. That was for the whole of December.

 

I had a Lethal Weapon moment when I realised that I'm getting too old for this sh!t. Gone are the days when the gigs were on my doorstep, at least two thirds of the gigs in the diary were at least 2 hour's drive away and I just don't want to do it anymore.

 

For the first time in 30 years I can do what I want at the weekend, get to my bed at a reasonable hour and go back into work on a Monday having had a proper sleep at the weekend ready for the week ahead and not fall asleep at my desk.

 

No more arguments, band politics, crappy WhatsApp messages when I am on holiday, no more stress

 

I apologise on behalf of the grey fortress of frowning if being in Aberdeen had anything to do with your decision

 

[Woodinblack]

1 hour ago, Delberthot said:

IThe other thing was that during the Christmas run I was working Monday to Friday, taking a half day on a Friday, driving up to Aberdeen, gigging on the Friday and Saturday, back down the road at 4am on the Sunday and then back into work on the Monday. That was for the whole of December.

 

I must admit that I wouldn't enjoy gigging if I had to do as much travelling as a lot of people here. we do about 25 gigs a year but there are probably only 5 or so that are more than half an hour drive from here, and most gigs we do I could walk to if I didn't have a PA and amps to carry.

[casapete]

8 hours ago, Woodinblack said:

 

I must admit that I wouldn't enjoy gigging if I had to do as much travelling as a lot of people here. we do about 25 gigs a year but there are probably only 5 or so that are more than half an hour drive from here, and most gigs we do I could walk to if I didn't have a PA and amps to carry.

I'm retiring from my band in April, and must admit that although I still enjoy travelling as much as ever, it is the driving that I won't miss. Traffic / diversions / reduced speed limits for no apparent reason / roadworks / lack of parking / idiotic lunatics driving at speed etc have all contributed to making our gigs all over the UK a massive chore. Definitely all of these 

factors have increased in the last 4 or 5 years, and I won't miss that aspect of my life one bit.

Edited January 27 by casapete

[Munurmunuh]

Years ago I concluded that the definition of a musician was someone who likes travelling. 

[Burns-bass]

My cover band has this chat and we only do gigs within 45 minutes of Bristol.  We’re lucky enough that this still means we play lots of gigs, but means relatively early nights. 

[Paul S]

51 minutes ago, Burns-bass said:

My cover band has this chat and we only do gigs within 45 minutes of Bristol.  We’re lucky enough that this still means we play lots of gigs, but means relatively early nights. 

 

Trouble is you all live in Southampton  

[Delberthot]

The thing that eventually led to me deciding to leave was that the band leader was happy to take gigs 3 hours away as he thought that he was getting us work, not realising that the rest of us were trying to juggle work and family life. At the time he wasn't working so had all of the time in the world to gig at the weekends.

 

When he did get a job, the first thing he told us was that he couldn't take gigs any more than 2 hours away and that was what really annoyed me. The fact that he thought that we were just making a big deal over nothing when he, himself, wasn't working, only to realise that he couldn't commit to long distance gigs when he did start working.

 

That was what ultimately made me leave the band. the fact that one gig in particular had caused so many issues because of the distance involved, including the singer and drummer refusing to do it, but he couldn't see that and afterwards couldn't admit that he had been wrong. Had the gig in question come up after he had begun working again, he would never have taken it and the issues that it cause would never have arisen.

 

Friday Gig - Aberdeen, Saturday gig - Bowness on Windermere! so the travelling was Falkirk > Aberdeen > Falkirk > Bowness on Windermere > Falkirk

[Burns-bass]

1 hour ago, Paul S said:

 

Trouble is you all live in Southampton  

Thankfully not (Bristol!)

[dmccombe7]

3 hours ago, Delberthot said:

The thing that eventually led to me deciding to leave was that the band leader was happy to take gigs 3 hours away as he thought that he was getting us work, not realising that the rest of us were trying to juggle work and family life. At the time he wasn't working so had all of the time in the world to gig at the weekends.

 

When he did get a job, the first thing he told us was that he couldn't take gigs any more than 2 hours away and that was what really annoyed me. The fact that he thought that we were just making a big deal over nothing when he, himself, wasn't working, only to realise that he couldn't commit to long distance gigs when he did start working.

 

That was what ultimately made me leave the band. the fact that one gig in particular had caused so many issues because of the distance involved, including the singer and drummer refusing to do it, but he couldn't see that and afterwards couldn't admit that he had been wrong. Had the gig in question come up after he had begun working again, he would never have taken it and the issues that it cause would never have arisen.

 

Friday Gig - Aberdeen, Saturday gig - Bowness on Windermere! so the travelling was Falkirk > Aberdeen > Falkirk > Bowness on Windermere > Falkirk

I couldn't work with that kind of set up either.

When our BL (i say Band Leader only because he started the band off) gets a gig he posts it on our FB private chat and asks if we are all ok with it. Since the band was formed we always said that if one person in the band didn't agree with something then that was it and we wouldn't do it whether that was a gig or a song suggestion. Anything really. It works for us but maybe not for everyone.

Sometimes people are selfish without realising it ?

I'm assuming you all tried to discuss the issue but failed to have any effect on him.

Shame if that was the only issue and it couldn't be resolved especially if the band was busy and you were enjoying the music and the others were all ok.

Dave

  

[AndyTravis]

https://www.facebook.com/share/79yh6Jirwbbu6i3Y/?mibextid=WC7FNe
 

This is the rehearsal we did yesterday. Now I feel like giving up pies. Thought the camera added 10lbs, not 20! 😆

[dmccombe7]

25 minutes ago, AndyTravis said:

https://www.facebook.com/share/79yh6Jirwbbu6i3Y/?mibextid=WC7FNe
 

This is the rehearsal we did yesterday. Now I feel like giving up pies. Thought the camera added 10lbs, not 20! 😆

Liked that Andy. Love the tone from that Gibson bass. It has a nice mid edge to it.

I can feel that GAS starting again.

Dave 

[Oopsdabassist]

36 minutes ago, AndyTravis said:

https://www.facebook.com/share/79yh6Jirwbbu6i3Y/?mibextid=WC7FNe
 

This is the rehearsal we did yesterday. Now I feel like giving up pies. Thought the camera added 10lbs, not 20! 😆

A bit cold your end of the room I take it?

[AndyTravis]

1 hour ago, Oopsdabassist said:

A bit cold your end of the room I take it?

Manchester in January, at the top

of a mill…yup. It was 1 degree when we started… the heaters (as seen in vid) are absolutely insufficient 😞

[AndyTravis]

1 hour ago, dmccombe7 said:

Liked that Andy. Love the tone from that Gibson bass. It has a nice mid edge to it.

I can feel that GAS starting again.

Dave 

Yeah, d’addario half rounds, pick, sansamp…plenty of poke.