Things not to say before an audition

[Mykesbass]

[quote name='Jazzneck' timestamp='1452179008' post='2947311']
Doesn't really count as an audition but..

I was bored and out on a business trip south of the Mason Dixon Line a few years ago and dropped into the local Sam Ash for a look see.
They had an old Kalamazoo bass in so I had to try it, so noodled away on a 12 bar followed by an 8 bar.
A long haired, bearded hulk of a guitarist guy cruised over and offered me a job in his band.
I was very flattered and explained that I was British and only here for a couple of days.
After a couple of "shee-its" and "goddamms" he offered me a go off his king sized spliff and asked if I could hang around for an hour so's his bass player could come over to learn the licks I'd just played.
The bass man arrived 10 minutes later.
The guitarist grabbed him by the beard, pulled out what looked like a mini baseball bat and said to me "Play!.
In a quaking jelly terror I managed to stagger through 12 bars.
The guitarist then shouted in his bass mans ear "Did you hear what he didn't play? Did you hear the space, m*****fkr?" "That's how you gotta play from now on, y'hear?"

I have never left a music shop, trembling, so fast in my life.

I hid out in my hotel room and the factory for the rest of the visit and was never so glad to suffer TSA security just to leave and go home.
[/quote]

Great story Jazzneck, and of course, he was absolutely right

[martthebass]

[quote name='Roger2611' timestamp='1452021962' post='2945667']
the other side of this is auditioning for the wrong band, I applied to join an originals rock band, I learnt all the songs they sent me, turned up to the audition...they were impressed with both my bass and amps, were impressed with how quickly I had picked up basslines to the songs....at the end of the audition we were packing up and chatting, they asked what music I liked and I asked what they liked.....they liked Guns and Roses only, I said they were alright but not my favourite band...so I headed off home

I got a phone call the following evening telling me how impressed they were with my audition but unfortunately I didn't get the gig because I didn't like Guns and Roses enough.....I wouldn't have minded but they didn't sound like GnR in the slightest...and if they had I wouldn't have bothered auditioning for them.

The shame was I quite liked their songs

I got a call from the singer a couple of weeks later to see if I would be prepared to stand in for some weekend gigs as they guy they went with worked 3 out of 4 weekends a month!
[/quote]

This reminds me of one I 'did' a few years back. I don't normally do auditions (I normally go word of mouth, jamnight route etc) but I was at a loose end and applied for a band that advertised itself as a MOD band on Join my Band or somesuch. All seem well, a set list and keys came through on email and a slot at the local studios for the following week. The songs were all Jam, Weller, Who type standards and we agreed on 5/6 numbers for the audition.

Alarm bells rung slightly when the contact (I think he was the guitard) said that they'd auditioned lots of bassists but none had nailed Broken Stones to the satisfaction of the drummer and if it wasn't perfect then deselection was guranteed. Having been informed of this I learn't a number of live and the original album version of the track.

The following week I was working away on the day of the audition, so in prep I put my little MarKBass and Status streamline in the car along with a T shirt and Jeans (as I was on plant all day in steelplant gear) change of clothes. I turned up on time at the audition to find the guitard, drummist and singer decked out like a scene from Quadraphenia.....all pointy shoes and 'Pretty Green' type clothing catalogue. The equipment also lived up to the image, Ludwig kit, 60s vitage guitar/amp etc. Unfazed, this is an audition not an 'image contest' I told myself we launched into the set list. No problems with the numbers except we kept stopping as 'the singer's new and still learning the words' but we got through it. We then got to the 'Broken Stones' and off I go with the album version.....'no, no' cries the drummer it doesn't go like that. Out comes my iPhone with the versions I had downloaded and after a little discussion we agrees on one of the live versions.

Anyway, eventually the set was completed and it was time for 'ta ta's' and off into the evening I went thinking it was all a bit odd but c'est la vie.

Next day I got the curt 'sorry man you didn't have the 'style' we're looking for' text. I put it down to experience.

[Jazzneck]

[quote name='Hobbayne' timestamp='1452159217' post='2947009']
That quote doesnt make sense if you think about it.
[/quote]

Yeah, but he was taking the piddle in true Lennon fashion.

[Jazzneck]

[quote name='EssentialTension' timestamp='1452240690' post='2947862']
[media]http://youtu.be/rx_08cambjA[/media]
[/quote]

Sorry, I much prefer the Beatles.

[Behlmene]

[quote name='EssentialTension' timestamp='1452240494' post='2947857']
[media]http://youtu.be/Fr-7Z5S78gM[/media]


[media]http://youtu.be/Xwy-CPaXgOc[/media]
[/quote]

Thanks for those ET, and the "Don't Let Me Down" one too. Gave me goosebumps watching. Also, I really enjoyed the WTF looks on the faces on the ground !!

[Behlmene]

[quote name='Jazzneck' timestamp='1452265823' post='2948271']
Sorry, I much prefer the Beatles.
[/quote]

Me as well!!

[markmcclelland]

So many amazing stories on here. I can't get through them all. Looks like someone could compile, publish and sell the lot of them. Hell, I'd buy it. Love the initial post but think the drummer who didn't think it would be that hard is my favourite.

I've put the shoe on the other foot here before saying I've been playing over 20 years now and have auditioned plenty of people as well as being in the hot seat myself, passed a few and passed on a few bands who passed me.

Millions of years ago, well, around 20 I guess, I'd got my first bass and learnt a bunch of G 'n' R songs purely with tab. Within a few months, I figured that if I could play them then I could learn other stuff so felt ready for my first auditions. I went to one and what they were playing was really simple and I was able to catch it by ear. But then the guitarist started calling out changes. A...C...Eb that kind of thing. I stopped it and said: 'Can't you just say first string fifth fret or something like that?' Well that was that audition over.

Coda: A few months after that audition I did manage to get in my first band and started gigging with them four months later. Lasted for a few years. So I must have learnt something from that horrible awkward one.

[bonnp]

[quote name='Doctor J' timestamp='1451984247' post='2945144']
We once had a drummer who showed up for an audition with his girlfriend who sat in the corner chain-smoking beside him. That didn't really work out.

I hate when the player doesn't match the brochure. A guitarist auditioned once, had emailed us a couple of instrumental tracks, really technically superb stuff. He showed up, looked the part, but then took a bottom rung starter guitar from the case. First alarm. He then set up his amp with that horrible "wasp trapped in a tin" kind of tone. Second alarm. He told us he had learned our songs, originals, We asked him which one he wanted to play first. "The first one" he said. He didn't know the names of the songs. Third alarm. He then struggled his way through a very basic riff which starts the song, so we all joined in. When, after for bars, we switched to the verse he kept playing the same riff. Even when we went to the chorus, yep, he kept playing the intro. That was the only riff of ours which he knew and even then he couldn't actually play it. Our drummer, at this stage, had buckled up in laughter and had to pretend he ripped his bass drum skin to put an end to the madness.
[/quote]
lol, this made me laugh!,

Edited January 9, 2016 by bonnp

[blue]

I don't get these guys that think they can "wing it" through an audition, like they're going to fool someone. I also don't understand bands because I think these types can be screened out pre-audition.
[list]
[*]Are you currently in a working band
[*]How long have you been in the band
[*]How many gigs did you play in 2015
[*]Tell me about your gear
[*]Are you married, does your wife mind that you would be gigging at least twice a week
[*]Do you have young children
[*]What year car do you drive
[/list]


I never audition for bands that are not established and making money and have a professional protocol. If I don't know the audition material like the back of my hand, I'll cancel my audition.

Blue

Edited January 10, 2016 by blue

[cheddatom]

"What year car do you drive" - Seriously?!

[CamdenRob]

I had a bizarre audition on Friday...

I wrote some bass parts for the two audition tracks in advance and was pretty pleased with how it sounded with the band at battle volume, the guys thought it was cool as well. I was then presented with "lets try you on something you haven't heard" I was then told chords and off they went. Sounded good as the track was better than the audition tracks but seemed a bit odd as this wasn't an improv band... anyway following that I was then presented with a song and not told the chords... so I kind of blagged it by a combination of listening to the intro to guess the key and watching the guys hands to guess upcoming chord shapes... What the hell is the deal with that? It's an audition why are you trying to catch me out? was weird... didn't get it in the end which is fair enough as I was totally unsuitable for the kind of image they were trying to go for.

... all experience I guess.

Edited January 11, 2016 by CamdenRob

[Cameronj279]

[quote name='CamdenRob' timestamp='1452512084' post='2950546']
What the hell is the deal with that? It's an audition why are you trying to catch me out? was weird... didn't get it in the end which is fair enough as I was totally unsuitable for the kind of image they were trying to go for.

... all experience I guess.
[/quote]

Part of me can kind of understand that way of doing it...not saying I would audition like that but I can see it's positives. I know that a lot of what my end up doing comes from improvised jams so this naturally ends up in us just making stuff up at gigs every so often. I'm pretty sure its extremely unprofessional but it's fun so I don't really care

I imagine it was to see how you would adapt under pressure and when you weren't prepared.

[CamdenRob]

[quote name='Cameronj279' timestamp='1452512414' post='2950556']
Part of me can kind of understand that way of doing it...not saying I would audition like that but I can see it's positives. I know that a lot of what my end up doing comes from improvised jams so this naturally ends up in us just making stuff up at gigs every so often. I'm pretty sure its extremely unprofessional but it's fun so I don't really care

I imagine it was to see how you would adapt under pressure and when you weren't prepared.
[/quote]

Oh yes definitely, had some great songs come out of jams over the years.

The whole thing just had an air of trying to trip me up... I half expected the final stage would be them sending me out of the room so I couldn't hear the other guys play and seeing how I got along playing to that.

[alyctes]

[quote name='cheddatom' timestamp='1452510675' post='2950525']
"What year car do you drive" - Seriously?!
[/quote]

I'm guessing it's American for "is your car reliable?".

[blue]

[quote name='alyctes' timestamp='1452514215' post='2950601']


I'm guessing it's American for "is your car reliable?".
[/quote]

And You guessed right.

When your offering someone a job with money it's a completely reasonable question.


Blue

[Cosmo Valdemar]

[quote name='blue' timestamp='1452516621' post='2950648']
And You guessed right.

When your offering someone a job with money it's a completely reasonable question.


Blue
[/quote]

Would you turn an applicant down because their choice of vehicle didn't meet your standards?

[Twigman]

[quote name='alyctes' timestamp='1452514215' post='2950601']
I'm guessing it's American for "is your car reliable?".
[/quote]
[quote name='blue' timestamp='1452516621' post='2950648']
And You guessed right.

When your offering someone a job with money it's a completely reasonable question.


Blue
[/quote]

I once had a job interview where the interviewer (MD of the company) asked "What colour car do you drive? And what make is it?"

It turns out he was the only person with a non-silver car allowed to park in the spaces in front of the building thus if one's car was anything other than silver you weren't allowed in the company spaces...oh and he insisted on everyone's car being German.
He said it was something to do with the company's image.

Despite not meeting these criteria I still got the job but was banned from parking in front of the building and had to park several yards away.

[Dan Dare]

More to it than a vehicle's age. Mine's 18 years old BUT has only done 46,000 miles. No point in changing for the sake of it.

[gapiro]

[quote name='solo4652' timestamp='1451938369' post='2944852']


Just so you know, I'm already in a band and we're almost fully booked up every Friday and Saturday from March onwards. is that OK with you?

I only know 4 of those 6 songs. I don't think I'll have enough time to learn the other two.

Thank you for getting back to me, as you have interest from other drummers I will let you pick from the two you are having sessions with. I have work and I don't really need any more.

Will I need a drum kit? I don't actually own one, you see. I only have two drumsticks. Is that OK?

I'm not a great fan of soul or funk. Are you guys planning on doing any classic rock?

I dunno - maybe it's just me being my usual over-organised, over-prepared self. However...
[/quote]
Whilst I haven't seen the advert, some of these are somewhat reasonable

You might not be planning to gig / or very rarely

Just no. I can learn 30 odd songs in 3 or so hours with a crib sheet for a gig on the same night, if it comes to it.

Doesn't need more, but might be the best one here, if you can pursuade him


ugh

depends what advert said.

And yes, as the bassist you are the organised one

[blue]

[quote name='Cosmo Valdemar' timestamp='1452517348' post='2950666']


Would you turn an applicant down because their choice of vehicle didn't meet your standards?
[/quote]

The question is about reliability. I would only be concerned about vehicles that wouldn't be reliable transportation for gigs.

Blue

[12stringbassist]

I once covered for a bassist's sick absence from a band.

At the audition to do so, I remarked that they were playing some of the songs a bit wrong.
Lofty egos were a bit bruised when I showed them the right chord sequences and I was basically told that I would have to learn to play the songs wrong.
Which I did.

[tom1946]

In the 60's we were looking for a girl singer to front our band, seekers=alike stuff and we went to this woman's house for a singalong tryout. when we met she said: do you know 'Life is just a bowl of cherries' in 5/4 time?

we sort of looked at each other and said no so she sang: Life is just a bowl of f--k'n cherries.. oh how we laughed. she was too old really, good club voice though.

[Machines]

I had an audition recently where I was 2nd of 2 bassists to be auditioned. We'd agreed for me to get there for 8PM, I left 30 mins before that and as I drove off got a text asking to make it 30 mins later, doh !

I got there for 8 anyway and hung around, getting cold in the poorly heated studio corridor. When my time came, I got setup, but my hands were freezing, and I very quickly got cramp whilst holding down some octaves for a whole song (Beatles - Taxman). I made a fair few fluffs, but overall considering the amount of time (not much) i'd put into songs I didn't know, it went OK.

The next day they called me up to say they went with the other guy, as he was older than me (60s vs 30s) and he knew the material better (I had no issue with this bit). They did however have a reservation he wouldn't be committed, and asked me if i'd learn the setlist anyway just in case he didn't stay with them (!!!!). I was a little surprised by this request, would anyone else learn an entire bands setlist just in case you were 2nd choice in a few weeks or months ? I politely declined.

I had a call yesterday saying he'd not got back to them about joining, so can I join instead ? I pondered on it, and decided to go with it. They might have been a little cheeky with their request and I may have been the 'backup', but they are actually very good and their location/frequency of gigs suits my needs. No point in cutting off my nose to spite my face etc.

[CamdenRob]

[quote name='Machines' timestamp='1453118202' post='2956426']
... No point in cutting off my nose to spite my face etc.
[/quote]

Very wise ...hope it works out

[rogerstodge]

Good luck Machines, that was the right choice .