topo morto Posted March 30, 2014 Share Posted March 30, 2014 [quote name='discreet' timestamp='1396178538' post='2410614'] I'm going to shave my balls too, just in case I get turned down for having a hairy scrotum. [/quote] This might make your male member look longer though, which could be grounds for rejection in itself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discreet Posted March 30, 2014 Share Posted March 30, 2014 (edited) Probably best to turn up to an audition with a selection of outfits, wigs, make-up, false beards, hats, stilts, Toulouse-Lautrec costume, etc. and just dress according to the whims of the musical director. Then you can't go wrong really, can you? Edited March 30, 2014 by discreet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discreet Posted March 30, 2014 Share Posted March 30, 2014 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beer of the Bass Posted March 30, 2014 Share Posted March 30, 2014 [quote name='discreet' timestamp='1396179446' post='2410637'] [/quote] Which one's you? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lowdown Posted March 30, 2014 Share Posted March 30, 2014 [quote name='topo morto' timestamp='1396178835' post='2410619'] This might make your male member look longer though, which could be grounds for rejection in itself. [/quote] Start you own band......and call it 'Erection Rejection'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
topo morto Posted March 30, 2014 Share Posted March 30, 2014 [quote name='lowdown' timestamp='1396182565' post='2410668'] Start you own band......and call it 'Erection Rejection'. [/quote] While those who are dedicated can get a bit lopped off and join "Circumcision Division" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
waynepunkdude Posted March 30, 2014 Share Posted March 30, 2014 [quote name='discreet' timestamp='1396133791' post='2410380'] [size=4] Yes, and you [i]still [/i]don't get any sex. [/quote] Speak for yourself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
topo morto Posted March 30, 2014 Share Posted March 30, 2014 [quote name='waynepunkdude' timestamp='1396183263' post='2410679'][quote name='discreet' timestamp='1396133791' post='2410380'] [size=4] Yes, and you [i]still [/i]don't get any sex. [/quote] Speak for yourself. [/quote] You probably wouldn't either if you were size=4... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skankdelvar Posted March 30, 2014 Share Posted March 30, 2014 (edited) My advice to the OP would be to conduct any conversation at least six to ten feet away from whoever's running the audition. They'll feel more comfortable if he's not towering over them. If that fails, he might point out that (i) nobody watches the bass player anyway and (ii) he'll be stood at the very back of the stage. Small / Far away, see. Edited March 30, 2014 by skankdelvar Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seashell Posted March 30, 2014 Share Posted March 30, 2014 [quote name='discreet' timestamp='1396178896' post='2410620'] Probably best to turn up to an audition with a selection of outfits, wigs, make-up, false beards, hats, stilts, Toulouse-Lautrec costume, etc. and just dress according to the whims of the musical director. Then you can't go wrong really, can you? [/quote] You forgot to add gardening trousers to this list. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discreet Posted March 30, 2014 Share Posted March 30, 2014 (edited) [quote name='seashell' timestamp='1396184019' post='2410693'] You forgot to add gardening trousers to this list. [/quote] And a clean pair of pants! Edited March 30, 2014 by discreet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skol303 Posted March 30, 2014 Share Posted March 30, 2014 Just had another one of those 'laughing out loud in public about something I'm reading here and now everyone around me thinks I'm weird and possibly unhinged' moments. I love Basschat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discreet Posted March 30, 2014 Share Posted March 30, 2014 [quote name='waynepunkdude' timestamp='1396183263' post='2410679'] Speak for yourself. [/quote] So you're not just sharing musical ideas with your band..? Ew. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discreet Posted March 30, 2014 Share Posted March 30, 2014 [quote name='topo morto' timestamp='1396183479' post='2410683'] You probably wouldn't either if you were size=4... [/quote] It doesn't matter - as a bass player I do it standing up with a strap on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
topo morto Posted March 30, 2014 Share Posted March 30, 2014 [quote name='discreet' timestamp='1396185489' post='2410705'] It doesn't matter - as a bass player I do it standing up with a strap on. [/quote] another inappropriate LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CamdenRob Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 I've been turned down for loads of bands... always though it was that my playing didn't really fit their idea of what their music should sound like... Now I know it's cause I'm tall and bald that makes it much easier to deal with the rejection.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bolo Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 Bring a stack taller than you. Hand out goggles as safety measure against flying debris. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bilbo Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 The 'too tall' argument was used for me 20 years ago when I applied for a gig with a name band. In short (see what I did there?), if the lead singer is a short-arse with a small ego, you are going to make him look tiny, a particular problem in genres like HM where the macho image is sometimes part of the deal. Interestingly, on the occasions when I meet celbrity musicians, I am regularly surprised at how short they are in real life. I guess this is more common than we think. For the record, I know of another musician (a drummer) who 'auditioned' for a Kylie video. The 'audition' was him being filmed from lots of different angles (he didn't actually have to play the drums). I guess it is easy to forget that the priorities have changed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigRedX Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 Sorry but this is the reality nowadays now that live performance is the product rather than the recordings. If the band has any kind of "image" this musicians who don't fit will not get the gigs. The days when you could leave out session players from the videos or stick them at the back out of camera view on those TV slots where the band actually played live are long gone. You need to look the part if the band you are playing with think that it's important. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bolo Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 [quote name='Bilbo' timestamp='1396257622' post='2411362'] In short (see what I did there?), if the lead singer is a short-arse with a small ego, you are going to make him look tiny, a particular problem in genres like HM where the macho image is sometimes part of the deal. [/quote] Rubbish comment. Ronny James Dio, Glenn Danzig to name a couple. HM is no more 'boy band image' affected than any other popular music. There are commercial acts whose image precedes musicianship (i.e. Poison, Motley Crue, Cradle of Filth) but they are far outnumbered by the people that try to make energetic powerful guitar oriented music and don't care as much about looks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JTUK Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 But the point was that it is the call of the band who are auditioning...and if they don't like the guy who is auditioning, for whatever reason, THEY decide and determine that. If the band is small ..like the Small Faces, for exampe, then a 6 footer plus is going to look odd. Now, if the band started like that, they'd likely live with it... but if they had to audition, I can quite easily see it being a factor...and only smaller guys would get the nod. You'd hope playing abilities would be comparable but the little differences will probably sway it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gub Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 What a load of twats! I wouldn't want to be in a band that had those sort of views anyway ! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dingus Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 (edited) I once saw Chris Waddle walking down the street, and he looked about seven feet tall with a neck like a giraffe, yet when you used to see him on the football pitch he just looked fairly ordinary sized, because in his work environment ( playing football) he was surrounded by other men of a similar height and physique. The point of this story is that some people are bigger than others, and that will probably always be the case. Short people have to accept they excluded from certain activities like sex and basketball, and so it's not unreasonable that tall folks should be excluded from certain things too. That way, the misery is spread out more fairly. I have been excluded from all kinds of things in my time, like school and, more recently, wearing Mrs Dingus' nightie, but I have never felt sorry for myself or let it get me down . The O.P just needs to dust himself off and get out there again. There are plenty of tall musicians, especially in Scandanavia, so don't give up trying to find the right opportunity. Edited March 31, 2014 by Dingus Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dingus Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 I was too ugly to be a male model. Do you hear me complaining? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dood Posted March 31, 2014 Share Posted March 31, 2014 OP, I've experienced similar! I auditioned for a band who have played on the mainstage at Sonisphere more than once as well as world touring. I was very pleased as I made it down to the last two out of the hundred or so applications. I didn't get the job because, and I quote 'you're probably the better musician but the other guy just looked right.' I learned alot that day! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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