Stagefright - who suffers from it and how do you deal with it?

[Ou7shined]

[quote name='4000' timestamp='1331108995' post='1567608']
Hi Rich,

Firstly, a big thanks for the very generous comment about my playing; brought a tear to my eye (I'd have said I had to get the kleenex out but you may have got the wrong idea!). The cheque's in the post. ;-) I guess part of the initial mental problem with me is that even if I was the second coming of Jaco I'd still think I sucked. So that's a big step one down the slippery slope. I remember once being on a training course at work and after a week my trainer turned to me and said "why are you so hard on yourself?". Can open, worms everywhere....."no idea" is the answer. "Dr Freud, I'm ready for my close up..."[/quote]

Hey maybe Dr Freud could help.
My stuff was brought on by a sort of near death experience driving in the French Alps, so I guess I have post-traumatic stress. My counselling was ok but somehow soon worked its way around to my parents divorce when I was 6 blah blah blah... it was interesting at times and definitely touched on confidence issues but for me it didn't connect with what I was originally there for.

[quote name='4000' timestamp='1331108995' post='1567608']
Secondly, really, really sorry to hear about the panic attacks. I know from experience what that's like as I started with them 2 or 3 years ago whilst going through some personal issues. Absolutely horrible. I think since then they're always closer to the surface and I think possibly the extra pressure at a gig is just kick-starting the mechanism, plus the fact that I don't drink like I used to (not that I was an alcoholic or anything by any stretch but now I seldom drink at all) takes away my main coping strategy for gigging.[/quote]

Greasing the wheels definitely works for me. But I too tend to reserve it for special occasions these days.

[quote name='4000' timestamp='1331108995' post='1567608']
I think often in the past no matter how terrified I've been the fingers have indeed "kept doing their thing", but in recent years it's even got past that; they're pretty much ceasing to function. Reading up about it (quite interesting) IIRC the fight or flight mechanism draws blood away from the extremities which combined with the mental confusion, change in breathing etc means your limbs don't function as they should and start shaking (something that I became horribly aware of when I went to pick up my drink between songs). Looks like the best way of coping with that is to do something physical (in the absence of groupies - whatever they are - star jumps or a run round the block may suffice!).[/quote]

Yep I'll go with that. I jump about like a lunatic (and pay for it the next day) which probably keeps it at bay.

[quote name='4000' timestamp='1331108995' post='1567608']
I was prescribed diazepam for my panic attacks but the dosage was light and the attacks pretty strong so it didn't really work; luckily I got through the worst of it (partly by - ironically - ditching the other medication I'd been prescribed fo anxiety and depression, lol) so didn't take any further steps. It's something I'd consider but my entire family seems to have problems with many types of medication so it would probably be a last resort. [/quote]

Yep they gave me beta-blockers at the start too which just made it worse so I soon knocked them on the head. It wasn't the physiology of my brain that was the problem, it was the newly acquired responses (as you said, fight or flight) to everyday situations that needed correcting. My first diazies were the strong ones and I gradually weened myself off them down to the 2s. I still need one (or a half) as a preventative now and again if I'm going to the dentist or a meeting at the school or whatever.

[quote name='4000' timestamp='1331108995' post='1567608']
I'm not sure I believe in hiding at the back either. My old drummer, one of my best friends, suggested I just don't gig anymore, but then it's beaten me and I won't have that unless there really is no other option. I'm sure there are ways round it. Must admit I've also had some (unconscious) success in previous bands by slipping into an onstage "identity" (usually enabled by dressing differently than normal) but I seem to struggle with that these days,[b] probably because at 48 I'm more scared of looking daft.[/b] ;-) I have definitely become far more self-conscious on stage as I've got older(not good as I started self-conscious at the beginning!). I think you've hit the nail on the head (rather fittingly) about keeping out of your own head. For some of us it's not a good place to be....[/quote]

Haha yeah I know the feeling. but I just look at some of the most famous professional rock musicians these days who have been in the business for frickin years and think "if they can get off with it then so can I".
Check out Mike Watt ffs...



[quote name='4000' timestamp='1331108995' post='1567608']
Best of luck with the band-fronting, I really hope it works out. Just before my last band imploded I'd started to work towards doing the same thing & I think subconsciously for similar reasons. Of course then the band fell apart and that was that. It's something I'm still considering for the future though, however bizarre that may seem in the light of this thread!
[/quote]

Cheers. We had rehearsals last night and it was commented upon about me really gaining in confidence with this singing malarkey.

[Ou7shined]

[quote name='thepurpleblob' timestamp='1331026565' post='1566352']
Having suffered from anxiety and panic attacks in the past, I have a great deal of sympathy. I've been in the situation where I could get up on stage no problem but could not sit in a pub as a 'punter' (I would take a panic attack). ...[/quote]

Yep I was like that at one point too. Not nice.

[neepheid]

Reading all this makes me realise that I really don't have anything much to worry about, and certainly nothing to complain about. I can get slightly withdrawn (read: less chatty) before the gig (getting in the zone?) - it's worse if there's an unknown variable in the mix like it's an unfamiliar venue or I'm gigging a new bass for the first time. I loosen up with a single drink which I nurse until show time. Then I play, and if people afterwards are saying nice things to me then I'm learning to accept it and not listen to the little voice inside my head whispering that I've got away with it (that is: pulling the wool over everyone's eyes and pretending that I'm a bassist) for another gig.

That wasn't fishing for compliments by the way - I am under no illusion that after only 4 years of light gigging and a few months of lessons I still have a long way to go to even approach the levels of competency that I strive for (and see in the players I admire) - the little voice knows this and plays on it.

[thepurpleblob]

[quote name='neepheid' timestamp='1331119675' post='1567847']
Then I play, and if people afterwards are saying nice things to me then I'm learning to accept it and not listen to the little voice inside my head whispering that I've got away with it (that is: pulling the wool over everyone's eyes and pretending that I'm a bassist) for another gig.
[/quote]

It took me a LONG time to be able to just say "thanks!" if someone threw me a compliment. I still really want to say "oh, I just got lucky tonight" or "I must be down low in the mix then!" etc. etc....... not that I get many compliments

[ThomBassmonkey]

I don't really get stage fright, I've gigged a lot and am VERY critical of my own playing (to the point where I wince if I make a mistake) but I know that the audience doesn't even notice 99% of the time.

The best thing I can suggest is that the audience is there on a night out, not to analyse and review you. If you (or more importantly your front man/woman) can make sure they're having a good time, you can play like trash and no one will care and trust me, I know that from experience.

[leftyhook]

[quote name='icastle' timestamp='1331063554' post='1567144']
Well that's your coping mechanism - you get into character to play a role.


Sorry mate, that was never the intention I promise.

I've always found the way people react under given circumstances absolutely fascinating and the only way I can do that is understand why I react to different things in certain ways.
In my enthusiasm I do sometimes forget that drawing people into self analysis can be a bit disconcerting.
[/quote]
My response was tongue-in-cheek mate.No offence taken.
I sometimes worry that I am seen as being a bit flippant, but I just try not to take things too seriously. We are on this planet for a very short time!

[dmccombe7]

Yep this is a very interesting thread.
I've had the nerves thing over the yrs too.
Can't say I've gotten over it but i guess i have just learned to accept it as being part of me and what i am doing.
I try not to dwell on the gig as such otherwise it worries me.
I've been in that position whereby my fingers seemed to go rigid and i struggled with some of the bass parts.
Done the nervous butterflies thing too.
The paranoia that everyone is only there watching me and not the band.
The toilet run before a gig.
Tried drink before the gig but unless you get the correct balance between settling nerves and still sober you can end up making an absolute a**e of yourself.
Had gigs where guys didn't show up at all.

Didn't help that a lot of my friends new i played bass and had heard me at the odd rehearsal and specifically came to get an oustanding bass solo which incidently never happened. I don't believe in bass solos in rock / progressive bands. But it was unnerving knowing they had come to the gig specifically to watch me.
Nowadays though I'm more relaxed with myself and the guys I'm playing with. I still get a touch of nerves but i try not to dwell on the issue and attempt to think of other things. Concentrate on the set list. I like the idea of running through the start of each song as a warm up.

Other than that I want to enjoy myself and the gigs I've done where i knew the band were good and we had rehearsed to the point we knew the songs without thinking and there were no mistakes have always been the best gigs.
I guess Preperation is definately the key.

Just remember you are never alone with this and we nearly all have suffered a bit of nerves at some stage.

Try not to dwell on it too much or it will fester. "THINK HAPPY THOUGHTS"

cheers
Dave

[leschirons]

This topic has been quite an eye-opener for me, and a little upsetting reading posts about some of your experiences. I've probably got 1,000 gigs under my belt and have never had this problem.

Having said this, it has become obvious to me that over the years I've maybe been a little unforgiving about fellow band mates who have possibly been suffering with this issue and I've not realised, nor been supportive. I will certainly give this consideration in the future.

I'm not what I'd call a great player so maybe I'm over confident about my ability but no-one complains and I just seem to enjoy the challenge and buzz of playing live.

I really hope that you manage to crack this. I had no idea that this was so commonplace. Best wishes to you all.

[Marvin]

Got a gig tonight and don't go on until 11.30.
Am I nervous? Hell yes.
I'm bloody hungry but can't eat and I've got shooting pains running down my arms into my hands.
Simply caused by fear of screwing up. It's not the people watching, I don't think, but letting down the other members of the band if I balls up really badly.
This one is particularly bad as I'm depping, something I've never done before, for an originals band and we've only had one rehearsal.

I have no mechanism for dealing with it


Oh bugger! My mind's just gone blank and I can't remember any of the tunes!

[icastle]

[quote name='Marvin' timestamp='1331314574' post='1571334']
Got a gig tonight and don't go on until 11.30.
Am I nervous? Hell yes.
I'm bloody hungry but can't eat and I've got shooting pains running down my arms into my hands.
Simply caused by fear of screwing up. It's not the people watching, I don't think, but letting down the other members of the band if I balls up really badly.
This one is particularly bad as I'm depping, something I've never done before, for an originals band and we've only had one rehearsal.

I have no mechanism for dealing with it


Oh bugger! My mind's just gone blank and I can't remember any of the tunes!
[/quote]

Well if you're depping for an originals band and have only had one rehearsal then that'd rank as a pretty tough gig in my books.

The first thing to remember is that the rest of the band obviously reckon you have the pre-requisite amount of talent and 'balls' or else they'd have cancelled the gig.

The second thing to remember is that nobody has ever been given the death penalty for playing a wrong note.

Keep it simple, stay relaxed (easier said than done I know, but at least try ) and be prepared to stick a little run in to get you back to the right note if you get it wrong.

[Dave Vader]

Are you depping for Lunacry or the other band Marv?

[Ou7shined]

[quote name='Marvin' timestamp='1331314574' post='1571334']
....Oh bugger! My mind's just gone blank and I can't remember any of the tunes!
[/quote]

You'll be fine.
Just remember, whatever happens you never beat this guy for unpreparedness... and moral support from the band.

[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dFZ1H7zRY8E[/media]

Have a good one.

[Marvin]

[quote name='icastle' timestamp='1331316755' post='1571374']
Well if you're depping for an originals band and have only had one rehearsal then that'd rank as a pretty tough gig in my books.

The first thing to remember is that the rest of the band obviously reckon you have the pre-requisite amount of talent and 'balls' or else they'd have cancelled the gig.

The second thing to remember is that nobody has ever been given the death penalty for playing a wrong note.

Keep it simple, stay relaxed (easier said than done I know, but at least try ) and be prepared to stick a little run in to get you back to the right note if you get it wrong.
[/quote]
[quote name='Ou7shined' timestamp='1331332017' post='1571688']
You'll be fine.
Just remember, whatever happens you never beat this guy for unpreparedness... and moral support from the band.

[media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dFZ1H7zRY8E[/media]

Have a good one.
[/quote]

Thank you for the support, much appreciated.

Gig went well. I even managed to scoff down a plate of steak and chips before our set. Thankfully I prepared more than the guitarist in the vid

[thunderbird13]

Its of no help to the OP but for some reason my body has a weird coping strategy in that the more nervous I am the more relaxed I get so for example if I'm stressed out during a gig I'll start yawning or smiling at members of the audience.Not so bad at a gig but I've failed job interviews as I've been so relaxed they thought I wasnt interested in the job

[lurksalot]

[quote name='BigRedX' timestamp='1330886551' post='1564395']
........probably a contributing factor to why I'm single.



[/quote]

Nah , probably cos your Fugly
[quote name='4000' timestamp='1331021539' post='1566257']
Exactly. Friday I was fine until we were announced; then everything just went.

Anyone suffer from fear of heights? I mean the real thing, not just a slight nervousness. It's a similar feeling..........[/quote]

Oh , I get it now , and I feel for you , I get VERY nervous even watching people in documentraries on TV at heights
The worst being Billy conolly on top of the Sydney Opera house on his world tour of OZ , I fetl sick to my stomach when I watched the program of him on there. I have issues at work too with heights , but as I am technically the boss , I put all the procedures and training in place , but I can't watch and prefer to be VERY busy somewhere else

[WalMan]

Yup still get butterflies and tend to retreat into my shell a tad, so having MrsW chattering inanities ALL the way to the gig last night didn't help in my normal, driving on my own, bit of radio or a cd, chill. Stpid really after all these years but there's always a bit of something there in the pit of my stomach. Last night I thought I was heading for a heart attack the way my chest was thumping!

[icastle]

[quote name='Marvin' timestamp='1331421782' post='1572782']
Thank you for the support, much appreciated.

Gig went well. I even managed to scoff down a plate of steak and chips before our set. Thankfully I prepared more than the guitarist in the vid
[/quote]

I not gonna say 'told you so', but I'm reserving the right to wear a smug grin for a little while...

[4000]

[quote name='leschirons' timestamp='1331155433' post='1568718']
This topic has been quite an eye-opener for me, and a little upsetting reading posts about some of your experiences. I've probably got 1,000 gigs under my belt and have never had this problem.

Having said this, it has become obvious to me that over the years I've maybe been a little unforgiving about fellow band mates who have possibly been suffering with this issue and I've not realised, nor been supportive. I will certainly give this consideration in the future.

I'm not what I'd call a great player so maybe I'm over confident about my ability but no-one complains and I just seem to enjoy the challenge and buzz of playing live.

I really hope that you manage to crack this. I had no idea that this was so commonplace. Best wishes to you all.
[/quote]

Makes me feel the thread was worthwhile.....

[4000]

[quote name='thunderbird13' timestamp='1331425867' post='1572810']
Its of no help to the OP but for some reason my body has a weird coping strategy in that the more nervous I am the more relaxed I get so for example if I'm stressed out during a gig I'll start yawning or smiling at members of the audience.Not so bad at a gig but I've failed job interviews as I've been so relaxed they thought I wasnt interested in the job
[/quote]

[4000]

[quote name='Marvin' timestamp='1331314574' post='1571334']
Got a gig tonight and don't go on until 11.30.
Am I nervous? Hell yes.
I'm bloody hungry but can't eat and I've got shooting pains running down my arms into my hands.
Simply caused by fear of screwing up. It's not the people watching, I don't think, but letting down the other members of the band if I balls up really badly.
This one is particularly bad as I'm depping, something I've never done before, for an originals band and we've only had one rehearsal.

I have no mechanism for dealing with it


Oh bugger! My mind's just gone blank and I can't remember any of the tunes!
[/quote]

I guess one of the advantages of doing originals is initially no-one knows if you make a mistake. I was once in a band and the drummer made an almighty cock-up and threw the rest of us completely for about 8 bars. When we came offstage someone said, with no hint of irony whatsoever, "wow, I loved the middle bit. It really brought across a feeling of chaos".

[4000]

[quote name='Ou7shined' timestamp='1331117183' post='1567783']
Hey maybe Dr Freud could help.
My stuff was brought on by a sort of near death experience driving in the French Alps, so I guess I have post-traumatic stress. My counselling was ok but somehow soon worked its way around to my parents divorce when I was 6 blah blah blah... it was interesting at times and definitely touched on confidence issues but for me it didn't connect with what I was originally there for.



Greasing the wheels definitely works for me. But I too tend to reserve it for special occasions these days.



Yep I'll go with that. I jump about like a lunatic (and pay for it the next day) which probably keeps it at bay.



Yep they gave me beta-blockers at the start too which just made it worse so I soon knocked them on the head. It wasn't the physiology of my brain that was the problem, it was the newly acquired responses (as you said, fight or flight) to everyday situations that needed correcting. My first diazies were the strong ones and I gradually weened myself off them down to the 2s. I still need one (or a half) as a preventative now and again if I'm going to the dentist or a meeting at the school or whatever.



Haha yeah I know the feeling. but I just look at some of the most famous professional rock musicians these days who have been in the business for frickin years and think "if they can get off with it then so can I".
Check out Mike Watt ffs...





Cheers. We had rehearsals last night and it was commented upon about me really gaining in confidence with this singing malarkey.
[/quote]

I don't think mine was brought on by anything specific but I could be wrong. Have had counselling and identified a general trend of disasters. Although having said that when I was about 6 we had a school nativity play in front of parents and I had to go onstage on my tod to read the lead in / prologue thingy. With no teachers about the other kids talked me into going onstage whilst the intro piano was still being played; I was desperately trying to be heard over the piano when a teacher came onstage and told me I'd gone on too soon. I had to walk offstage halfway through and then go back on 10 minutes later and do it all again. I was mortified. I often wonder if it started there!

Yeah, but Mike Watt is Mike Watt. I'm just some bloke down the pub at the best of times. Although having said that he does look like Michael Myers without the mask.

[Floyd]

Just found this and it's good to know it's not just me. I've been working towards an audition for a covers band and I can play the numbers pretty good until I think about playing in the audition, then I lose control of my left hand. I know the guys and it means a lot to me to get in the band so I'm feeling the pressure.

[Pete Academy]

I've just come in on this post and haven't had chance to read everything. I always stand at the back of the stage by the drummer, and right on top of my rig. However, years' ago at one particular gig, I was forced to stand right at the front next to the singer. Being out of my comfort zone was immensely unnerving.

When I play gigs I usually focus on someone who is enjoying the show, and that seems to help. Plus a couple of lagers, of course.

[JTUK]

Don't get nervous about playing as I think I know what I am doing and I am upto the job.

But, I sometimes get nervous about turn-outs especially if a ticketed affair that is ALL about whether people
will pay to see us.

Not talking about weddings or functions as someone else has the problem of getting people there and the audience is captive

[Oldman]

Just stumbled across this brilliant topic:

I have been playing and singing in bands since 1963, I was never aware in the early days of having Stage Fright. There was always too much going on, anyway the friendly Pill Man was always there to sell you a Dexedrine for a tanner. As time moved on in the last 15 years or so I became afflicted with a dried up throat, for seemingly no reason, it was nerves of course. I also found that alcohol exacerbated the problem, closed my throat up even more, especially real ales, coke, drinks with ice, drinks without ice, lager, in fact anything. I always had the usual number two before I left the house and a couple of pee's. but still have to be very careful of what I drink in case it causes me to dry up. I will say I am a slapdash bass player, it'll be alright on the night type thing and punters usually don't know or care, but when that musician face comes into the gig......

I can rehearse Wednesday before a gig from cold no grief, gig night I have to be careful to eliminate what I consider to effect me, I drink room temperature water only, I don't get enthusiastic beyond my capabilities, I am a Stage Fright Sufferer.....

JUST REMEMBER : You are always the best Bass Player on the stage ...