icastle Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 [quote name='barneyg42' post='1270945' date='Jun 16 2011, 06:02 AM']Fixed! [/quote] Just don't ask about the 5'8" long bulge in the patio... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lozz196 Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 [quote name='Pete Academy' post='1270674' date='Jun 15 2011, 08:59 PM']Have you ever had this situation? You meet a new partner. They love the fact you play bass, especially in a band. They brag to their friends that they're seeing someone 'who is a musician and plays in a band'. They come and watch you at every gig and love it. After a few months they get bored. They then ask why you need to rehearse so much. They then ask why you need to be at the venue so early when you're not on until much later. They then get pissed off because you don't spend much time with them at gigs, despite the fact that you have to set up, sound check, do the gig, then pack up afterwards. They then accuse you of flirting with someone in the audience. Been there?[/quote] As my relationships never last more than 6/8 weeks, I`ve never experienced the above first-hand, but it describes fairly exactly, every girlfriend/wife of everyone I`ve ever been in bands with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kiwi Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 They're insecure and lonely. Invite them along to the gig so they can see for themselves you're not doing the dirty. Don't take responsibility for her insecurity or dependency. If she starts picking fights, mention that you think she's picking a fight and ask her how long its going to take before she's open to talking about solutions rather than moaning. If at any point you feel she's not listening to you then state the obvious and walk away. You don't have to be anyone's punching bag. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pete Academy Posted June 16, 2011 Author Share Posted June 16, 2011 [quote name='silddx' post='1270812' date='Jun 15 2011, 11:07 PM']Diane is completely supportive. She has an incredible attendance record and understands that I can't really hold much of a conversation before stage time. She gets me drinks, hangs out with my bands and is close friends with almost all of them. She is an absolute star. Pete, you deserve so much better than what you describe. Cast her away. Wait for someone who loves you for what you are, it will happen after a time.[/quote] No Nige, my current missus is fine. She doesn't come to gigs, anyway, as she has her own interests. It's past girlfriends that have been like this, and I have many mates whose playing careers have been blighted by unsupportive partners, even to the point of giving up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
originalfunkbrother Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 [quote name='skej21' post='1270718' date='Jun 15 2011, 09:40 PM']. We have an unwritten rule that gig money from anything last minute goes towards us doing something nice together to make up for it.[/quote] Really encouraging, this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Slipperydick Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 (edited) My missus aint been to a gig in years. as with the O.P she used to come to all of em. I realised years ago that girls love guitarists, but hate guitars. Edited June 16, 2011 by Slipperydick Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JTUK Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 [quote name='Slipperydick' post='1271109' date='Jun 16 2011, 10:10 AM']My missus aint been to a gig in years. as with the O.P she used to come to all of em. I realised years ago that girls love guitarists, but hate guitars.[/quote] This..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cetera Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 Nope.... I've always chosen well Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wil Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 She doesn't mind me spending a few evenings a week at practice/gigs/whatever. Likewise, she goes horseriding in the evenings occasionally when I'm at home alone, and that's fine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big_Stu Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 (edited) I've always found that women with such insecurities, if it wasn't guitars/bands it would be something else that they'd latch on to. I stopped playing & sold my beloved EB3 because of my (now ex)wife. It was the thin end of the wedge & went from bad to worse. Any woman who gave me any ultimatum now would lose. Edited June 16, 2011 by Big_Stu Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BottomE Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 Yes, i have had girlfriends like that in the past. I kicked them into touch pretty quickly. Life is too short to put up with others insecurities. I have been with Mrs BottomE for 12 years and never had a crossed word about it. She has her own stuff going on and i never complain about that. Teamwork and understanding. If you ain't got that it'll all come to a head evetually. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dc2009 Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 [quote name='icastle' post='1271014' date='Jun 16 2011, 08:55 AM'] Just don't ask about the 5'8" long bulge in the patio... [/quote] Somehow I don't doubt you here Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
martthebass Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 Weve only been married 25 years so she's still hoping I grow out of it Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chaypup Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 The Trumpeter and Sax player in my band are married. I can't work out if that's really good for them or really bad...... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ern500evo Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 I've had this with girlfriends in the past, but my wife now is cool with it. She comes to quite a few gigs (normally when i play the "nicer" places!), and she doesn't seem to mind that i've slowly transformed the office in our house into my music room. Unlike our singers g/f who comes to gigs and then does nothing but moan that we're too loud/heavy for her, and tells us how her friends husband is in a band and they are not loud at all (just to clarify, her friends husbands "band" is 2 guys playing acoustic guitar to backing tracks!) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobpalt Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 My wife has solved the problem by becoming our roadie! She is in charge of the lights, provides a pair of ears on the dance floor at sound checks and during the gig, gets us drinks with only minor moans and groans, helps us pack up and even looks after our singers baby during the gig. Occasionally, she drives the band bus as well. No idea what I would do without her, even after all these years married (35 this year). She even lets me spend her money on my basses......... [attachment=82831:Ireland_...2010_063.jpg] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maverick Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 Our ex-singer's wife would come along to every gig, have a very pleasant chat with us for about 10 minutes at the start of the night, then for the rest of the nigh would find a corner of the venue to sit, read a magazine/book, look miserable - all this during our set as well - and try to demand hubby's undivided attention where possible before whisking him off back home at the earliest opportunity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jezzaboy Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 I have a slightly different issue. Last friday went like this. Up at 5:30, off to work a heavy 9 hour day. Get in, shower, eat, get the gear ready and carry it down the stairs into the car. Pick her and her 2 mates up at 3 different locations. Get my head done in as they talk sh*te on the way to gig. Set up and play for 3 hours, your typical hot sweaty gig. Break down the gear, load up car and get the 3 now pissed girls into car. Drop off her 2 pals and take her home, arriving there at 1:45. Am asked in for "cofee", nudge nudge. Knock her back as by this time I am cream krackered and want nothing but my own bed. Que a massive huff, you don`t love me, blah, blah....By this time it`s 2am and I don`t care anymore. Is this just me? Or am I just wimp of a man? Answers on a post card please to the usual address. Jez Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
krispn Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 (edited) My lady loaned me the cash to get a 5 string to try out - on the understanding that after a few months gigging with it and seeing if it worked I'd either sell it on and keep my 4 string or sell the 4 and keep the 5. So decision day came and she got all 'hurt' that I was selling the 5 (I'm guessing because she loaned me the cash and wanted to be a part of the my music side of my social life) yet she constantly complained when it was in the flat and referred to it as the beast. Funny how perception can be so different from the reality. Still for those of us that have been with our girlfriend, partner, bird etc etc I think we have an unspoken understanding that this is what we do and they suffer/enjoy accordingly On the plus side my lady is finishing a Masters so she enjoys the free time while I bang out the tunes. Win win as she is beautiful, understanding and intelligent! Edited June 16, 2011 by krispn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
icastle Posted June 16, 2011 Share Posted June 16, 2011 [quote name='krispn' post='1271939' date='Jun 16 2011, 06:23 PM']Win win as she is beautiful, understanding and intelligent [b]and standing behind me[/b]![/quote] Fixed that for you... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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