I’ll play! A little similar to the above, but full walnut Jag body (stealth-chambered if that would make it too heavy), black anodised aluminum pickguard with chrome bell (symmetrical like on a Jazz) control plate.
Neck would be precision width with tele headstock, roasted flame maple with roasty fretboard. No face dots, them blue luminays on the top edge. Lollipop lightweight tuners (chrome).
Hipshot vintage bridge (chrome).
Hmm, pickups would be some sort of Musicman style affair. Passive for simplicity.