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MacDaddy

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Status Updates posted by MacDaddy

  1. MacDaddy

    I just called the paranoia hotline.

    A guy answered "how the hell did you get this number‽".

    1. Show previous comments  3 more
    2. prowla

      prowla

      Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you.

    3. TheGreek

      TheGreek

      That's right...we are 👽🤖

    4. LeftyJ

      LeftyJ

      I asked my local library for a book about paranoia. They whispered "Behind you".

  2. MacDaddy

    Computer: choose a password

    Me: hi-hat 

    Computer: password can not contain symbols 

     

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. prowla

      prowla

      Baffling, isn't it?

    3. SpondonBassed

      SpondonBassed

      Infinitely.

    4. Alien

      Alien

      Ba-dum tish!

       

  3. MacDaddy

    https://metalinjection.net/news/feuds/eddie-van-halen-once-pointed-a-gun-at-fred-durst-after-durst-wouldnt-give-his-gear-back

    Food for thought! 😆

    1. Show previous comments  2 more
    2. SpondonBassed

      SpondonBassed

      Here's another link to the same story.

    3. Kiwi

      Kiwi

      https://pagesix.com/2020/04/25/eddie-van-halen-pulled-a-gun-on-fred-durst-book/

    4. SpondonBassed

      SpondonBassed

      Snap

  4. MacDaddy

    If I had a flag, today it would be flown at half-mast...

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. Teebs

      Teebs

      If I had a flag, I'd be changing it to something more optimistic :(

    3. prowla

      prowla

      whassup?

    4. MacDaddy

      MacDaddy

      Technically, we're not allowed to talk about it! 😉

  5. MacDaddy

    Well flap me sideways, I've done it again. How nice. 3 times in the last 4 days.

    🍾🎉🎊

    1. Show previous comments  1 more
    2. SpondonBassed

      SpondonBassed

      It's interesting how posting bad jokes gets you points.

      When this little lot is over maybe you should try and make your fortune in the Christmas cracker joke writers' community...?

      I shouldn't take the wee-wee.  It's good for morale.  Carry on.

    3. MacDaddy

      MacDaddy

      It's definitely not my in depth bass knowledge that's popular! 😝

    4. SpondonBassed

      SpondonBassed

      It's like when you have to do drinks after work.  You don't really want to spend your down time talking shop.

  6. MacDaddy

    Profile pic changed, in line with Basschat Secret Santa tradition :) 

    1. Mykesbass

      Mykesbass

      Didn't visit me this year 😞

    2. Mykesbass

      Mykesbass

      Turns out I'd just missed the thread - your update was the only thing I'd seen, so thanks!

    3. MacDaddy

      MacDaddy

      Doh! Next Christmas seems so far away...

  7. MacDaddy

    Most people are quite shocked I'm not a qualified electrician.

    1. TheGreek

      TheGreek

      Stunning!

    2. prowla

      prowla

      I'm confused - is this some kind of plug, are you looking to flex your skills?

    3. TheGreek

      TheGreek

      Watt?? Ohm-y God - He must have found this gag at the back of a volt!!

  8. MacDaddy

    I went to the Doctor's because I keep painting myself gold.

    He said not to worry, I just have a gilt complex.

    1. andybassdoyle

      andybassdoyle

      wonderful! - is this the bad jokes thread reborn clandestine? I do hope so

       

    2. Happy Jack

      Happy Jack

      424445958_ElvisinGold.thumb.JPG.9541b6344fb60714ed599abb0f004967.JPG

    3. pete.young

      pete.young

      Someone in a James Bond film died from being painted with gold. But what a lovely finish.

  9. MacDaddy

    Why do the Riot Police get up early?

    To beat the crowds...

    1. AinsleyWalker

      AinsleyWalker

      You're on a roll!

    2. Tim Chapple

      Tim Chapple

      Love it.

  10. MacDaddy

    Baby On Board = fine
    Baby Superglued To MDF = not

    1. AinsleyWalker

      AinsleyWalker

      Baby on board 😞
      Pedal on board 😎

    2. SpondonBassed

      SpondonBassed

      image.png.f00700d54d208393245b00fe8beb9dd2.png

  11. MacDaddy

    Terrible night. Dreamt something bit me on the neck. Got up to check but the mirror wasn't working.

    1. alyctes

      alyctes

      You've been tracking mud into the house again. haven't you?

    2. Happy Jack

      Happy Jack

      Sorry to be a downer, but vampires show up in modern mirrors. They didn't show up in mirrors before because mirrors were backed with silver. Now we use aluminum.

  12. MacDaddy

    Why is that book so thick?

    It's a long story...

    1. Rich

      Rich

      Diner: Waitress, can you tell me about the menu please?

      Waitress: The men I please are none of your business.

    2. TheGreek

      TheGreek

      A jumper I bought recently was picking up static electricity, so I returned it to the store...

       

      They gave me another one Free of Charge.

  13. MacDaddy

    GNU Terry Pratchett 

    1. Bigwan

      Bigwan

      🐐

    2. TheGreek

      TheGreek

      He is much missed...thanks for the reminder

  14. MacDaddy

    Wondering what happened to my old 6 string Shuker? Sold it on here (or previous incarnation) over 10 years ago, but it's not in my Feedback...

    1. Owen

      Owen

      Do you have a pic? It might have gone through my hands.

    2. MacDaddy

      MacDaddy

      I'm sure I do somewhere but can't find. I'll keep looking...

  15. MacDaddy

    I'm just sitting here wondering how I never noticed there is a Turd in Saturday...

    1. BillyBass

      BillyBass

      🤣 good spot.

       

      We have a gig on Saturday week, I think we should advertise it: 'Take the turd out of Saturday, come and see us play'

    2. Jean-Luc Pickguard

      Jean-Luc Pickguard

      Just wait until you see what's in Scunthorpe

  16. MacDaddy

    I'm starting a flight company exclusively for bald people.

    It's called Receding Airlines. 

    1. Clarky

      Clarky

      Is that a re-branded FinnAir ?

    2. BillyBass

      BillyBass

      ...and an associated travel company: Air Today gone tomorrow.

       

      Ok I know that's bad but MacDaddy started it.

  17. MacDaddy

    Ooh, I won the day. Yay me!

    Do I win £5?

    1. SpondonBassed

      SpondonBassed

      Sure.  You even get a choice...

      image.png.b0716691a3573a7e67089bfba9b6ba9a.png

    2. MacDaddy

      MacDaddy

      Muscle weighs more than fat, so I'll take the muscle ;)

  18. MacDaddy

    After seeing their energy bills rise, my local Chinese restaurant has been trying to save money.

    They say they can't turn all the lights off, but they do dim some.

     

    1. Happy Jack

      Happy Jack

      That is so outrageously awful that I rather wish I'd thought of it ...

  19. MacDaddy

    BREAKING NEWS: Medics have rushed into the I’m a Celeb camp after Matt Hancock was stung by a scorpion. The venomous, creepy creature known for causing pain and death is said to be moaning about his sore finger. 

    No update on the health of the scorpion though...

     

     

     

     

    1. TheGreek

      TheGreek

      Hope the Scorpion wasn't harmed too much.

  20. MacDaddy

    My therapist told me "write letters to the people you hate and then burn them".

    Did that, but now I don't know what to do with the letters.

    1. lowregisterhead

      lowregisterhead

      😂 Whatever you do, don't bury them with the charred remains...

  21. MacDaddy

    It takes guts to be an organ donor.
     

    1. TheGreek

      TheGreek

      Yep...real heart

  22. MacDaddy

    The inventor of velcro recently died. RIP.

    1. Rich

      Rich

      The bloke who composed the Hokey Cokey also died recently. His funeral was a bit chaotic -- it all kicked off when they put his left leg in the coffin...

  23. MacDaddy

    I thought about having a Bucks Fizz this Boxing Day morn, but I'm having trouble making my mind up...

    1. Reggaebass

      Reggaebass

      That’s the Land of make believe 😁

  24. MacDaddy

    Just found out that a dentist near me has been arrested for selling drugs. Shows you how wrong you can be about people. I had been going to him for over 10 years. Never knew he was a dentist.

    1. plankspanker

      plankspanker

      Bwahaha!

  25. MacDaddy

    If alcohol can damage your short term memory, just think what alcohol can do.

     

    1. petecarlton

      petecarlton

      Ha ha

       

       

       

       

      Ha ha

       

       

       

      Ha ha

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