ahpook Posted June 13, 2016 Share Posted June 13, 2016 (edited) [quote name='EssentialTension' timestamp='1465800200' post='3070977'] Stay with that band for social reasons and join another one too for musical reasons. First date in the diary gets your attention. [/quote] Exactly. If you leave your current band and the new lot turn out to have bum berets then you may have lost some buddies and you're still in a band you don't like. There's nothing like the look of a few irons glowing gently in the fire Edited June 13, 2016 by ahpook Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JapanAxe Posted June 13, 2016 Share Posted June 13, 2016 [color=#282828][font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]Great slogan there![/font][/color] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BottomE Posted June 13, 2016 Share Posted June 13, 2016 If you're in it for the social side of things stick with what you know. If, as you say its "hacking you off", you need to move on. Try and exit in a nice way (they may need a dep in future) and in the words of Adam and the Ants "do yourself a favour". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandelion Posted June 13, 2016 Author Share Posted June 13, 2016 Mmmm much food for thought. Gonna make a few enquiries. Thanks chaps. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discreet Posted June 13, 2016 Share Posted June 13, 2016 Bum berets?? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ashweb Posted June 13, 2016 Share Posted June 13, 2016 [quote name='discreet' timestamp='1465854908' post='3071687'] Bum berets?? [/quote] Surely I wasn't the only one to read this and think '[url="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ed53AgvOqE0"]The Rubettes[/url]'? I'll get me coat.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zbd1960 Posted June 13, 2016 Share Posted June 13, 2016 For your musical sanity, you need to be playing with a group that gives you a sense of satisfaction/achievement, otherwise it becomes and chore and will lead to resentment. When I started (on a different instrument) about 5 years ago, I joined a community band. It was good training and experinece, but after 4 years, I decided it was time to move on. You can say you want to move on and explore new avenues and remain sociable with the old team. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blue Posted June 14, 2016 Share Posted June 14, 2016 (edited) [quote name='hiram.k.hackenbacker' timestamp='1465838506' post='3071458'] Erm, I'm no mathematician.... [/quote] The band has been together for 11 years. I've been with them for the past 6 years. Blue Edited June 14, 2016 by blue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lojo Posted June 14, 2016 Share Posted June 14, 2016 Leave, but do it well , give notice and say you'll stay until a new player who fits in and is up to speed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dan Dare Posted June 14, 2016 Share Posted June 14, 2016 (edited) As others suggest, you could stick with current band for the social/fun side and do something more satisfying too. Have you actually tried saying to the current band "love you dearly, chaps, but cannot carry on like this". Might wake them up to the need to improve. Or are they a lost cause? Edited June 14, 2016 by Dan Dare Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dad3353 Posted June 14, 2016 Share Posted June 14, 2016 [quote name='hiram.k.hackenbacker' timestamp='1465900577' post='3071920']... I presume the previous bass player(s) didn't "shape up" then? [/quote] ... or died of old age..? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discreet Posted June 14, 2016 Share Posted June 14, 2016 (edited) [quote name='Dad3353' timestamp='1465901974' post='3071935'] ... or died of old age..? [/quote] I think the euphemism is 'passed on through natural causes'. Or as I like to say, 'gone tits-up'. Edited June 14, 2016 by discreet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dad3353 Posted June 14, 2016 Share Posted June 14, 2016 [quote name='discreet' timestamp='1465902667' post='3071943'] I think the euphemism is 'passed on through natural causes'. Or as I like to say, 'gone tits-up'. [/quote] Euphemisms are all very well, but sometimes a direct kick up the rear is the best ploy, or so I'm told. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blue Posted June 14, 2016 Share Posted June 14, 2016 [quote name='hiram.k.hackenbacker' timestamp='1465900577' post='3071920'] Ah, it was the affirmative form in the first instance that confused me. I presume the previous bass player(s) didn't "shape up" then? [/quote] I believe the band was headed in a different direction at the time and he was no longer a match for the band. Somehow I was, after 3 auditions I was offered the job. Blue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blue Posted June 14, 2016 Share Posted June 14, 2016 [quote name='Dad3353' timestamp='1465901974' post='3071935'] ... or died of old age..? [/quote] I think he was my age, but no, it wasn't an age issue, more that he wasn't on track with the direction of the band, Blue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fretmeister Posted June 14, 2016 Share Posted June 14, 2016 Are they being loyal to you by getting better? No? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ahpook Posted June 14, 2016 Share Posted June 14, 2016 [quote name='discreet' timestamp='1465854908' post='3071687'] Bum berets?? [/quote] Ass hat ? Bum beret ? Maybe..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blue Posted June 14, 2016 Share Posted June 14, 2016 (edited) [quote name='hiram.k.hackenbacker' timestamp='1465900577' post='3071920'] Ah, it was the affirmative form in the first instance that confused me. I presume the previous bass player(s) didn't "shape up" then? [/quote] I think in most cases when guys are relieved from duty it's mutual. Blue Edited June 18, 2016 by blue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LayDownThaFunk Posted June 15, 2016 Share Posted June 15, 2016 Wouldn't the people in the band become your friends even if you didn't know them before? Unless they were utter arseholes... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blue Posted June 15, 2016 Share Posted June 15, 2016 [quote name='LayDownThaFunk' timestamp='1465983604' post='3072552'] Wouldn't the people in the band become your friends even if you didn't know them before? Unless they were utter arseholes... [/quote] Maybe Blue Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RockfordStone Posted June 15, 2016 Share Posted June 15, 2016 [quote name='Dad3353' timestamp='1465901974' post='3071935'] ... or died of old age..? [/quote] perhaps he didn't want to do it for money anymore, so now he is in a basement somewhere Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thepurpleblob Posted June 15, 2016 Share Posted June 15, 2016 My rule is always play with people who are better than myself.... or to flip it around, never have to apologise for your band mates. Nothing is stopping you remaining mates. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
yorks5stringer Posted June 16, 2016 Share Posted June 16, 2016 Speaking of euphemisms, is this one? [attachment=221639:Euphonium-842S.jpg] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TimR Posted June 18, 2016 Share Posted June 18, 2016 (edited) [quote name='ahpook' timestamp='1465935451' post='3072309'] Ass hat ? Bum beret ? Maybe..... [/quote] Hemorrhoids. Bum berries. . Edited June 18, 2016 by TimR Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SpondonBassed Posted June 19, 2016 Share Posted June 19, 2016 [quote name='Dandelion' timestamp='1465775849' post='3070938'] But then should I stay with them. I really am in too minds. Can't sleep. [/quote] I think that has to be regarded as an occupational hazard if music is your occupation (paid or unpaid). Me? I'd make every effort to honour the band's commitments but make no further ones. It's honest, up-front and if it is taken badly, your mates are not quite up to scratch in terms of mutual respect. Good luck either way but if you have the time maybe an overlapping commitment may work for all concerned, just until you decide where you want to lay your hat, be it an ass-hat or flat-cap or any other choice in headgear. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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