Jump to content
Why become a member? ×

Cant Take A Compliment


Hobbayne
 Share

Recommended Posts

We played the other night to a good crowd and were the first band on. As we were packing up to let the second band on, their bass player came up to me and said "Some nice bass playing mate!"
Instead of saying "Thanks" or "Cheers mate!" I waffled something about 'The sound being terrible and couldnt hear a thing!"
He must have thought I was a right arsehole! :(

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I play with a drummer who is terrible at taking a compliment. I'll say 'you really nailed that, nice feel' and he'll say 'I'm not happy with the snare' or 'my pedal isn't right' or 'these cymbals sound wrong for this style'.

He can't take constructive criticism either. 'Why not try that with a hi-hat rather than a ride' is interpreted as 'I'm the greatest bass player in the world, and your breath smells', hence my attempts to praise him up when he gets it right.

Shame, because when he does get it right he's really good.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I only really know what to say when someone goes "is your guitar (sic[k]) made of metal mate?" or "Why you wear dem gay glove blud?".

But I had a few people say they loved the bass and drums at the last London Zulu gig, I just say thanks, that's really nice, or really glad you enjoyed it, etc. I love a nice compliment if I feel I am deserving of one, but I have to quite strongly resist the urge to reply with something self-deprecating. I find compliments very humbling, definitely back-foots me if I don't know the person. Whereas at the same gig, when two BC members there said they liked it, I just asked if the bass sounded ok as if that was all I cared about :rolleyes:

Mad innit, I think it's called being British ;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Maybe it just that bassists are not, by the nature of the instrument's general role in the band, used to getting compliments. I'll bet most lead guitarist's would know what to say.

Personally, I think it's a great "problem" to have to deal with. :D

Edited by Coilte
Link to comment
Share on other sites

He probably understood entirely, being a fellow bassist, that we are the ones that don`t get many compliments, so we are totally unprepared on how to deal with them.

I always thought it must have been my stunning looks & personality was the reason I got no attention/compliments from anyone, but then, once I started playing lead guitar and doing lead vocals, they came in droves, so I realised it was just the duty of the humble bassist to be ignored by the masses.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

IMO, when someone gets a compliment, replying by saying "this was not right/that was not great", somehow throws the compliment back in the face of the giver. It is actually saying, "your opinion is wrong". A lot easier and friendlier to simply say "thanks".

Link to comment
Share on other sites

[quote name='EskimoBassist' timestamp='1339500621' post='1689286']
I don't think there's anything particularly outstanding about what I do as a bass player, I just try and fit in with the band as best I can!
[/quote]

Obviously the compliment giver thinks other wise. So why not just accept and enjoy it in the spirit that it was given ?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

[quote name='Coilte' timestamp='1339500947' post='1689292']
IMO, when someone gets a compliment, replying by saying "this was not right/that was not great", somehow throws the compliment back in the face of the giver. It is actually saying, "your opinion is wrong". A lot easier and friendlier to simply say "thanks".
[/quote]

This.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

[quote name='silddx' timestamp='1339500316' post='1689281']Mad innit, I think it's called being British ;)[/quote]

It's also called being Dutch in Norway. I could never handle compliments, and for different reasons, one of them being humble or modest or whatever, and the other one being about wanting to express that I wasn't satisfied myself (which is almost the same thing as saying I was really way better at this than they heard).
I've had to have some hard words with the mirror, and these days, I think I'm more relaxed, and would go something like: "Wow, thanks! Nice to hear that!"

Good luck with being British! ;)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Aw, how sweet of you guys. As a veteran member of an audience, I have learnt to compliment bass players' ability only indirectly, because a bass player's [b]normal[/b] reaction is to blush and/or not know what to say, or even how to say thank you without feeling awkward (yes, Jack, I'm talking about you as well! :P ). Drummers are often like that as well.

I think it's an endearing tract most of us share, and it's not bad manners at all in my view.

Edited by bluejay
Link to comment
Share on other sites

[quote name='bluejay' timestamp='1339501470' post='1689306']
or even how to say thank you without feeling awkward
[/quote]

I would say this is a simple lack of confidende and down to personality, rather than any instrument related issue.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Next time we get compliaments, why not say, "yeah, cheers. I mix the output of both pickups to a kind of low mid thump, with a dark overtone, then I let the compressor add a cool slam, boost 180 Hz by about 3 Db, add a notch of 7K, just to let the bottom end have a bit of air, then the signal is sent to the 4 ten inch speakers, with a hot DI feed going FOH".

And then watch their faces change.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Always smile and say thanks.

We had this on Sunday. Our dep drummer failed on all levels and the rest of us had to cover the vacuum in the middle of the stage. The gig sounded terrible to us, but we dodged the bullet, the audience loved it and told us so. We said thanks and later, in private, vowed never to use that drummer ever again.

The audience always knows what it likes and it's better to accept praise than to confuse things by attempting a half-assed post mortem.

If another musician gives you praise, accept it graciously. He either wants to borrow your gear or he really did like what you did. Sometimes it's nice to be told that you did something right.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

[quote name='Coilte' timestamp='1339501907' post='1689318']
I would say this is a simple lack of confidende and down to personality, rather than any instrument related issue.
[/quote]

It's instrument-related only in the sense that bassists tend not to be over-confident arses like - erm - some other musicians ;)
Lack of [b]excessive[/b] confidence is not a bad thing, and does not equate [b]total[/b] lack of confidence.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

[quote name='steve-soar' timestamp='1339502017' post='1689320']
Next time we get compliaments, why not say, "yeah, cheers. I mix the output of both pickups to a kind of low mid thump, with a dark overtone, then I let the compressor add a cool slam, boost 180 Hz by about 3 Db, add a notch of 7K, just to let the bottom end have a bit of air, then the signal is sent to the 4 ten inch speakers, with a hot DI feed going FOH".

And then watch their faces change.
[/quote]

Doubt if that'll happen, if people cant simply say "thanks". :P

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...