mcgraham Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 So, played a gig or two last year for the gospel choir my wife and some friends sing in. Got asked to do it again, and I've had to decline and it was a difficult decision to make. I don't want to ramble on, but it's more complicated than that. Basically, the person in charge of the band is a colossal tool. I don't use that word often, particularly when describing someone who is meant to be a friend of me and my wife, but the truth hurts (not if you've got an ego that big to protect you of course). At the outset when I consented I was given an incomplete set list, I asked what he wanted me to work on first before a practice, and he informed me that he wants me to learn them EXACTLY as recorded and perfect them to a T before a first practice, otherwise what's the point. I say OK, when is the first concert? Obviously there's a lot of work involved perfecting a 20 song set list, I don't want to outlay all that time and effort if it's going to just be ongoing rehearsals for 6 months before a concert... particularly as it's a favour and i'm not getting paid. He informs me he refuses to schedule a gig until he thinks the band is ready. I've been down that road before and I think it's a massive waste of time... anyway.... Since then, he's had another couple of massive rants, expecting me to attend a rehearsal within a days notice, and insisting there will be no provisional gig til a practice. I've now been given an updated set list numbering 30 tracks, and he's not clarified which ones I'm meant to learn verbatim, create parts for, or ignore. I asked for him to specify, he said he mentioned this in an earlier email, I respond with 'what about the new ones' and his response his 'I've already explained all this numerous times in detail I refuse to do it again'. *breath* I politely informed him that I no longer wish to be part of his band. Sure it might make things a little difficult, but I don't see why I should endure amateurs with that sort of attitude, bring my level of professionalism to what he wants, for no money, no respect and no effort on his part. People like this need to be told to grow up and we need to stop tolerating them... 'oh they're just like that, leave them be' is not a valid excuse. In any case, I was wondering what you guys would've done in my place? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
woodyratm Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 What a douche. Best rid Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nottswarwick Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 Same. Waste of time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skankdelvar Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 I'd have lured him to a deserted warehouse and shot him in the face. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Len_derby Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 It sounds to me like you've been more than reasonable. Walking away with 'diggity is probably best. I can understand it's going to cause a bit of a problem regarding your wife's involvement. I've come across similar (but not as bad) with church bands I've been involved with. They seem to attract meglomaniac n**heads. Are there any other instrumentalists in the outfit? Do they get the same treatment? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jazzneck Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 Exactly what you have done. "Basically, the person in charge of the band is a colossal tool" is your description of him and as you feel that way I can't see how you can work positively with him on any level, I couldn't if those were my thoughts. You are supposed to enjoy music, eh? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discreet Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 You made the right move. I don't often use that word, either... 'colossal'. There, I've said it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blademan_98 Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 with you 100% I would have walked too Unfortunately I would have probably vented my feelings too by letting him know what I thought. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gareth Hughes Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 I'd have done, and have done, the exact same. Fair play to you. One has to draw the line somewhere - and for me, if I can't find a single redeeming or worthwhile factor then that's it. I was rehearsing and gigging with a student big band, for no pay, because I wanted to swot up on my sight-reading - getting charts like 'Spain' and 'Willowcrest' and playing them with absolutely no preparation. All good. Until the band leader barely acknowledges you and then completely blanks you when he's a punter at another gig I was doing. I thought - Tw*t - and left it at that. When the gig-triangle is missing all it's pieces it's time to leave. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bassintheface Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 [color=#282828][font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]colossal tool seems very apt in this situation![/font][/color] [color=#282828][font=helvetica, arial, sans-serif]Agree with you - he sounds like a class A tip end.[/font][/color] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
setekh Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 [quote name='skankdelvar' timestamp='1327173215' post='1507484'] I'd have lured him to a deserted warehouse and shot him in the face. [/quote] Hah! I see Mr. Blonde survived the bullet wound. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gafbass02 Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 Skank ftw Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
icastle Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 I have a very simple rule: If you're paying me well enough, then knock yourself out sunshine. It's no skin off my nose how much of my time you waste while you're paying for it and I'll probably just tune out within 10 seconds once I realise you're an arse anyway. If you're not paying me then you get what you're given and should shut up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jakenewmanbass Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 [quote name='skankdelvar' timestamp='1327173215' post='1507484'] I'd have lured him to a deserted warehouse and shot him in the face. [/quote] You're a pussy! I'd have eaten his liver while he watched Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Linus27 Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 [indent=1]Yep, defo the right thing. Sounds like the guy has a massive ego and a control freak.[/indent] Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lee4 Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 You have shown that your level of professionalism is higher than his,and also refrained from calling him a pr*ck with ears.You have admirable restraint,sir! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steve-soar Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 Lock him in a room, inject mercury into his bellend and play this at high volume. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgFRVqsgP1k Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StraightSix Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 [quote name='Len_derby' timestamp='1327173282' post='1507487'] I've come across similar (but not as bad) with church bands I've been involved with. They seem to attract meglomaniac n**heads. [/quote] That's what church is all about ain't it...megalomania... I would have quit same as you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chrismuzz Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 He's supposed to be your friend and he treated you like that? I've have knocked him down a peg or two. If he didn't like it I'd tell him to turn the other cheek... then slap him with my cock Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
icastle Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 [quote name='Johnston' timestamp='1327177423' post='1507559'] Sometimes I think they are lacking in some departments and when they get some control it goes to their head and makes them feel big in other ways. [/quote] Yep, same as the majority of council employees. They're covered in another little rule I have that says 'if you are speaking loudly then you probably haven't actually got anything worth saying'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discreet Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 [quote name='StraightSix' timestamp='1327179776' post='1507612'] That's what church is all about ain't it... megalomania. [/quote] Tru dat, and the other word which springs to mind is HUBRIS. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
discreet Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 (edited) [quote name='chrismuzz' timestamp='1327180035' post='1507622'] ...then slap him with my cock. [/quote] Now you're talking. Edited January 21, 2012 by discreet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StraightSix Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 [quote name='discreet' timestamp='1327180178' post='1507625'] Tru dat, and the other word which springs to mind is HUBRIS. [/quote] Great word - I don't think I've ever used it in conversation: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hubris Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chaypup Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 [quote name='Gareth Hughes' timestamp='1327174164' post='1507506'] When the gig-triangle is missing all it's pieces it's time to leave. [/quote] What are the pieces? I'm guessing enjoyment, comfortable slacks, and hordes of fit birds. Where can I claim my £5? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spike Vincent Posted January 21, 2012 Share Posted January 21, 2012 [quote name='steve-soar' timestamp='1327179324' post='1507602'] Lock him in a room, inject mercury into his bellend and play this at high volume. [media]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgFRVqsgP1k[/media] [/quote] I'd have kicked him in the nuts,but this works. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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