thepurpleblob Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 With suitable regret for using this as a psychologist's couch yet again, the story so far: Have been playing with one of my bands for a number of years and it's mostly suited me. We play loud rock covers in the limited number of pubs that like that sort of thing playing at most once a month. It's been getting a bit dull because nobody can be bothered to learn new songs although the quality of performance has (IMO) been pretty good and well received. The guys really do it for fun and for a drinking opportunity and aren't ambitious to get more or different gigs at all. I also play - even more occasionally - in another band who are less competent but more enthusiastic (if somebody mentions a new song everybody is keen to learn it without being asked ten times). Anyway, the guitarist of my long standing band chucked it a month or two back and after agreeing that we wanted to keep going I dragged in the guitarists from band (number 2). Still with me? A few rehearsals down and it was going surprisingly ok. We played our first gig on Saturday night just gone - a private party for a friend of mind (a favour to me basically). We were the wrong band in the wrong place - low numbers, kids the lot. Everybody played terribly - the drummer was telling everybody who would listen how much he didn't like the new guitarist (and generally sulking), the singer was completely wrecked, the lot. I was being like their mother, trying to get the band back on for a second set. A total disgrace basically. I'm probably going to answer my own question and say that I'm just going to walk. I'll probably put more effort in with the other guys and see if it picks up quality wise. If it doesn't, well I tried. I have enough hassle in other bits of my life... this is meant to be fun Just venting!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bobbytodd Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 if its not fun and its getting you down then walk away Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
charic Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 How long have you been at it for with the new setup? I think if the drummer gave the new guitarist a reasonable chance (assuming it's not been long) and got over it a little bit then maybe it could work. It just sounds a little disfunctional at the moment. I wouldn't give up quite so quickly tbh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Happy Jack Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 Yup ... it's that "fun" issue again. If you're not doing it for the money and you're not enjoying it, then where's the point? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xilddx Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 [quote name='Happy Jack' timestamp='1321272508' post='1437094'] Yup ... it's that "fun" issue again. If you're not doing it for the money and you're not enjoying it, then where's the point? [/quote] The point may be the uncertainty about ever being able to join another band that meets your needs, so may as well stay with the devil you know, some of it's enjoyable. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lozz196 Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 The second band seems to have the right approach, and maybe with more work, would become as competent as the first. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thepurpleblob Posted November 14, 2011 Author Share Posted November 14, 2011 I think the point is that I'm not sure we have a band any more and I'm not sure I want to expend the effort and suffer the stress of patching it up. There's nothing I hate more than failing to suck it up and play your best just because you book the wrong gig or it doesn't work out in some way. I'm not sure the drummer wants to play with the new guitarist or even wants to carry on at all and (right now) I don't feel inclined to lift the phone to find out. Bitter and twisted - me? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bremen Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 [quote name='Lozz196' timestamp='1321273751' post='1437114'] The second band seems to have the right approach, and maybe with more work, would become as competent as the first. [/quote] Yeah, that sounds much more promising. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jmstone Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 Sounds a bit of a mess. Break it up and start again with whoever you want to play with from the original bands? Try to get band 2 to meet more regularly and drop band 1? I don't really like it when people start openly criticising other band members - usually it seems to be the beginning of the end! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmccombe7 Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 I agree that if its not entirely for earnings then you do it for fun. If that's not there and you are driving and pushing all the time then the enjoyment starts to go. Think i would go with 2nd band and work on it. If they are enthusiastic they will be able to improve as musicians and generally get more confident to provide the ultimate show. Good luck Dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thepurpleblob Posted November 14, 2011 Author Share Posted November 14, 2011 [quote name='jmstone' timestamp='1321274943' post='1437132'] Sounds a bit of a mess. Break it up and start again with whoever you want to play with from the original bands? Try to get band 2 to meet more regularly and drop band 1? I don't really like it when people start openly criticising other band members - usually it seems to be the beginning of the end! [/quote] I'm inclined to agree. I *really* don't want to sound snobby but we do all come from very different backgrounds and now that I've introduced a 'middle management' guitarist it might have been the straw that broke the Camel's back. I'm a non-drinking, non-football-fan IT consultant (but I don't have mock Grecian pillars on the front of my house, so I'm ok really!!!) and that was bad enough Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JTUK Posted November 14, 2011 Share Posted November 14, 2011 Walk and work on what works.. Other than that...go out and find new guys. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmccombe7 Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 [quote name='thepurpleblob' timestamp='1321275507' post='1437143'] I'm inclined to agree. I *really* don't want to sound snobby but we do all come from very different backgrounds and now that I've introduced a 'middle management' guitarist it might have been the straw that broke the Camel's back. I'm a non-drinking, non-football-fan IT consultant (but I don't have mock Grecian pillars on the front of my house, so I'm ok really!!!) and that was bad enough [/quote] Understand your situation and can sympathise to a certain degree. The band i joined few mths back are from a different background too however they were surprised to find out that i came from similar background originally but moved on through personal choice and circumstances and probably some good luck thrown in. The band also have 2 Rangers and 2 Celtic supporters. That is another story and even weirder to work with. The difference may be that we have accepted the difference in circumstances and current background and we treat each other with respect no matter what. Its more about the technical ability background. These guys were more interested in getting a competant bass player they could get along with more than a maestro whizz kid on bass or someone with a similar background and yet a c**p bass player. If some guys in the band have an issue with someone's background then I'm not sure i would want to stay with that band. At the end of the day which band are you happier working with and go with that. Otherwise might be better to start again with fresh personnel. All best and hope it works out for you. Davie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Linus27 Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 [quote name='thepurpleblob' timestamp='1321275507' post='1437143'] I'm inclined to agree. I *really* don't want to sound snobby but we do all come from very different backgrounds and now that I've introduced a 'middle management' guitarist it might have been the straw that broke the Camel's back. I'm a non-drinking, non-football-fan IT consultant (but I don't have mock Grecian pillars on the front of my house, so I'm ok really!!!) and that was bad enough [/quote] HAHAHA that so rings true with me not just with bands but with work and other walks of life. As I don't care about football and my whole motivation is NOT going to the pub for a pint, it can be so hard to fit in. Anyway, dump band 1 and work on band 2. They seem to have something good about them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bassbluestew Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 (edited) Aw man this sucks. Really feel for you, having just come through a very personally painful band split, due to management issues - or to be more precise MISmanagement. Am in a similar situation bandwise too as it happens. Sounds like musically BAND2 - for that is what they shall now be called - seem to fit your musical criteria better. Remember also that you have been playing with BAND1 for a much longer time so they should be musically more up to the mark. Who is to say that thne newly named BAND2 won't be even better with some more experience. They certainly sound like a more fun bunch to be around.With a bit more time and effort, the world is your lobster !! And I totally get the "snobbery" bit. Don't worry, just be yourself, you don't strike me ( having met ) as a judgemental sort of dude. Good luck matey, S Edited November 15, 2011 by bassbluestew Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flyfisher Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 If it ain't income-generating then it has to be enjoyable. I'd suggest concentrating on playing with the band that's the most fun and cooling down on the other one. Let someone else in that band do the driving for a change. Might find they can't be bothered, in which case it'll likely die a natural death, or maybe they'll buck-up their ideas and get a second wind, in which case it might get to be fun again. Ultimately, I don't think trying to change people really works. You have to take them as they are and learn to live with their foibles (as they must also do with you) or move on. That's not to say people can't change, just that it has to come from them if it's going to work. You have to work with things as they are, not as you'd like them to be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clarkpegasus4001 Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 (edited) This is very unfortunate. If it was me (assuming you are not in it for money or as a professional job) and I wasn't enjoying it I would probably walk. Consider doing more with band 2 is another option of course. Good luck I hope things work out for you. Edited November 15, 2011 by clarkpegasus4001 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jmstone Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 Another thought - I think taking the guitarist from band 2 into band 1 was always going to be a bit of a difficult sell. People have different expectations/abilities, and maybe the drummer took issue because he felt the decision has been taken out of his hands, and was comparing the "new" guitarist to the old one. Probably easier to reform a "new" band - even if it has almost the same members! At least then you can all start with a clean slate. But I agree with everyone else that, from what you have said, band 2 sounds better - how often had you been playing with them? Is it going to be difficult to arrange more regular meetings? Still, band dynamics and drama seem to be the mainstay of the few bands I've been in - if you can take a step back to observe it can sometimes (almost) be entertaining! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jezzaboy Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 If you ain`t enjoying it, don`t do it. I was that man and walked recently. If you can get the most suited guys from the 2 bands and form it into 1 decent band that you can live with, fandabidozy!! Either that or you and I form a 2 man bass playing super group! Jez Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chardbass Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 Life's far too short to play music with people who don't want to be there. That's not what it's about- we have fun, we entertain, we get paid to do both if we're lucky enough. Band 2 all the way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmccombe7 Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 [quote name='chardbass' timestamp='1321389886' post='1438671'] Life's far too short to play music with people who don't want to be there. That's not what it's about- we have fun, we entertain, we get paid to do both if we're lucky enough. Band 2 all the way. [/quote] Definately. 110% agree with this. Dave Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TorturedSaints Posted November 24, 2011 Share Posted November 24, 2011 [quote name='chardbass' timestamp='1321389886' post='1438671'] Life's far too short to play music with people who don't want to be there. That's not what it's about- we have fun, we entertain, we get paid to do both if we're lucky enough. Band 2 all the way. [/quote] +1 to this . . . and if Band2 doesn't fit the bill, there's lots of adverts for bass players required on Glasgow gumtree. all the best Ralph Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RhysP Posted November 24, 2011 Share Posted November 24, 2011 [quote name='thepurpleblob' timestamp='1321275507' post='1437143'] I *really* don't want to sound snobby..... [/quote] You failed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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