MB1 Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 (edited) MB1. D.I.Y enthusiasts Make your approach more professional by Starting 3 days late wearing ill fitting trousers and shaking your head at regular intervals. Get a UV Marker pen and write your name and postcode on your gear! Edited October 28, 2011 by MB1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shawman Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 [quote name='arthurhenry' timestamp='1319659746' post='1417059'] Buckle rash: No need to cover the back of your bass with gaffa tape. No need to tuck a beer towel into your trousers. Simply move your belt buckle one loop to the side. [/quote] get trousers that fit properly. then there's no need for a belt so no buckle rash Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
51m0n Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 Pats self on back and feels smug for coiling cables properly for years..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shambo Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 This halloween, when people see you in fancy dress costume and say "you look great", simply replace "great" with "a ****", for a more honest appraisal of your appearance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
charic Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 [quote name='Shambo' timestamp='1319807893' post='1418829'] This halloween, when people see you in fancy dress costume and say "you look great", simply replace "great" with "a ****", for a more honest appraisal of your appearance. [/quote] Will do tonight (usually do anyway)! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KingBollock Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 [quote name='Shawman' timestamp='1319807024' post='1418819'] get trousers that fit properly. then there's no need for a belt so no buckle rash [/quote] Unless you're like me and have no ar*se. I'm a great big fatty but there's no meat on my buttocks, so nothing to hang trousers on. I have to have my belt so tight that I look like a bag of sh*te tied in the middle. Mind you, it does mean that my overhang protects my basses from my buckles (which I collect so have some interestingly shaped ones). I don't mind wearing braces when I'm in my outdoors/fishing gear, but otherwise I just feel like a prat in them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LemonCello Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 Never try and teach a pig to sing. It wastes your'e time and it annoys the pig. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
flyfisher Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 Never argue with an idiot. People find it hard to know the difference. And the old favourite . . . you can't polish a turd. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thepurpleblob Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 Another (sorry) serious one... photograph all your gear, write down the descriptions and all the serial numbers and put it all somewhere safe (www.dropbox.com or a fridge - next best thing to a firesafe). You never know! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LemonCello Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 [quote name='thepurpleblob' timestamp='1319812392' post='1418900'] Another (sorry) serious one... photograph all your gear, write down the descriptions and all the serial numbers and put it all somewhere safe (www.dropbox.com or a fridge - next best thing to a firesafe). You never know! [/quote] Funny, I've just spent the last hour and a half doing just that! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
funkgod Posted October 28, 2011 Author Share Posted October 28, 2011 When ever you have an argument with the wife, Cheer your self up simply by watching your wedding video backwards...... you'll love the bit where you give her back the ring, watch her walk back down the aisle, get into a car and pi@@ off !.... Save money on expensive air fresheners, simply by stuffing lavender up ya hoop, then every time you fart a burst soothing fragrance is released into you house. Submarine designers, why not put the water pipes on the out side then if there is a leak it wont make a mess ! GOOD OLD VIZ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bassace Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 remember, the early bird gets the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese. oh, and don't use coax leads to the speakers there are still daft people who do and don't take kindly to gentle advice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xgsjx Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 [quote name='KingBollock' timestamp='1319810451' post='1418867'] Unless you're like me and have no ar*se. I'm a great big fatty but there's no meat on my buttocks, so nothing to hang trousers on. I have to have my belt so tight that I look like a bag of sh*te tied in the middle. Mind you, it does mean that my overhang protects my basses from my buckles (which I collect so have some interestingly shaped ones). I don't mind wearing braces when I'm in my outdoors/fishing gear, but otherwise I just feel like a prat in them. [/quote] Top tip - Get braces & play punk or mod. [quote name='thepurpleblob' timestamp='1319812392' post='1418900'] Another (sorry) serious one... photograph all your gear, write down the descriptions and all the serial numbers and put it all somewhere safe (www.dropbox.com or a fridge - next best thing to a firesafe). You never know! [/quote] I always tell folk to take pics of their gear (for insurance) & pop the pics on a private Flickr or similar. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KingBollock Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 [quote name='xgsjx' timestamp='1319821983' post='1419058'] Top tip - Get braces & play punk or mod. [/quote] Like I say, I'm a great big fatty. Pogoing wouldn't be pretty! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marvin Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 [quote name='charic' timestamp='1319797300' post='1418656'] Remember your towel [/quote] Without doubt the single most important 'very handy tip'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hobbayne Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 If a car breaks down or stalls in front of you, beep your horn and wave your arms frantically. This should help the car start and send them on their way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KingBollock Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 No matter how intriguing the title or plot, don't be tempted to give that new Syfy Channel movie a go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr. Foxen Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 [quote name='KingBollock' timestamp='1319823154' post='1419081'] Like I say, I'm a great big fatty. Pogoing wouldn't be pretty! [/quote] Lip up, fatty. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
xilddx Posted October 28, 2011 Share Posted October 28, 2011 Attempting to pleasure oneself with one's own face more than once a week could result in a herniated intervertebral disc and resultant pressure on the related nerves leading to numbness and pain in the pelvic area thus rendering the activity self defeating. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dad3353 Posted October 29, 2011 Share Posted October 29, 2011 [quote name='Marvin' timestamp='1319823398' post='1419087'] Without doubt the single most important 'very handy tip'. [/quote] I know. Depressing, isn't it..? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Monckyman Posted October 30, 2011 Share Posted October 30, 2011 Never take advice from an internet forum... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.gif.9ad672bb8b84505709f76b39c8c256ec.gif)
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.