Do it while you can

[Len_derby]

This one is primarily, but not exclusively, aimed at those of us who are in the mellow autumn of our years.

The partner of our vocalist and band leader had a stroke last week. She’s likely to be in hospital for another few weeks and is likely to need lots of support when she gets home.

Consequently, and rightly, we’ve cancelled everything band-wise for the rest of the year. Onwards, we’ll have to see how things go.

So, while you are able, do that gig, join that band, buy that bass, climb that mountain. Whatever you want to do, while you can.

And, prompted by a recent thread, don’t stick around in that dysfunctional band hoping things will improve.

[Woodinblack]

Great advice, you do tend to go through life thinking that you would get round to all these things later, only for later to come and go a lot.

[Happy Jack]

Agreed. I've made a not-altogether-good reputation for myself by walking out of a number of bands over the last 10 years, either because our 'vision' didn't align or because they proved to be just not good enough (IMHO, of course).

 

Some of my current bandmates are surprised at the way I do this, perhaps even think I'm a bit of a loose cannon.

 

Me? I've never lost a moment's sleep about it. I walked away from a very well-paid job four years early, not because I don't like money but because I was well aware that those four years were (at that moment) the best remaining years of my life.

 

The same equation still applies. I'll be 69 next month (no, I can't believe it either) and I have no interest in allowing anyone or anything to waste the best remaining years of my life right now.

 

Use them or lose them.

[chris_b]

A couple of years ago I replaced a bass player who had exactly  the same experience. His wife wasn't well, and was finally diagnosed with dementia. He stopped playing to become a carer. 

 

I agree with Len, do everything,while you can.

[itu]

1 hour ago, Len_derby said:

Consequently, and rightly, we’ve cancelled everything band-wise for the rest of the year. 

Our musical leader got a stroke in an ambulance and clinically died there by Easter. Because of the personnel they were able to give the needed care, and we still have a leader. 

 

No one of us were ready to stop playing. Even our patient was driving us to play from the hospital. Now he is back and in good shape, although he cannot carry the stuff, but that's a small issue because he is alive and kicking. 

 

If I was you, I would continue making music with your group. 

[Len_derby]

27 minutes ago, itu said:

 

 

If I was you, I would continue making music with your group. 

We all intend to keep going. Hopefully, this will just be a temporary break.

[TimR]

A friend of mine died last month. 65.

Our drummer is going in for stents next week. 60.

A manager at work had a heart attack- has been off for 4 weeks so far. Stents fitted. 48.

 

Stay safe everyone. 

[Lozz196]

For myself I’ve taken similar action, albeit the opposite, I’ve quit my gigging bands as just find it too much now, and am going to concentrate on doing less intense things which I enjoy and sitting back and enjoying life at a slower pace.

[bassbiscuits]

Indeed. My brother, who is also the guitarist in one of my bands, is undergoing chemo for stage 4 cancer.

We’ve managed to keep gigging while he’s still feeling well enough to do so, but that will come to an end at some point in the future. 

 

One of its many impacts has been this focus on the present moment rather than a future which may not happen. 

I’m guilty as charged of being busy now on things that will pay dividends in future, but the current situation is bringing home to me the importance of making the most of present time as well. 

[chris_b]

My tale of woe. . . . last year one band leader died of a stroke, the guy who took over from her is soon to be off the road with knee surgery, one BL spent 2 months in ICU with pneumonia, 2 BL's between them cancelled a dozen gigs to have hip replacements and another BL is recovering from prostate cancer!! I need to get into a band with 30 year olds!

 

Don't have me in your band. You'll get ill!!

[Suburban Man]

On 27/11/2025 at 14:55, chris_b said:

My tale of woe. . . . last year one band leader died of a stroke, the guy who took over from her is soon to be off the road with knee surgery, one BL spent 2 months in ICU with pneumonia, 2 BL's between them cancelled a dozen gigs to have hip replacements and another BL is recovering from prostate cancer!! I need to get into a band with 30 year olds!

 

Don't have me in your band. You'll get ill!!

Lynx th' jinx? 

(Deputy Dawg for those under 65)

[Dr.Dave]

I sailed through my bypass earlier this year - though I was fit and well and hadn't been ill - and went straight back to it once I was allowed to drive again. I did that because I was determined not to stop gigging because of illness etc but For a long time I've been considering it. I'm an early retired 64 , fit and well and do several volunteering jobs so it's not my age - I'm just bored with it. I played in a pub in Castleford ( never go unless you're forced , and even then don't go !! ) about 8 years ago and it suddenly occurred to me that I'm still hawking my talents around the same toilets as I was when I was 17.  I've had plenty of laughs along the way and done nigh on 2000 gigs but the truth of it is that I set out to become an artist and settled for being a craftsman. That's my greatest regret. These days I get more joy from noodling around at home than the ' groundhog day ' feeling of gigs.

 

So - yes , gather ye rosebuds etc but when the time comes to chuck them away - act. I haven't done that and it's been a mistake. 

Edited 9 minutes ago by Dr.Dave