Careful what you wish for

[Lozz196]

56 minutes ago, chris_b said:

I just don't understand how people can treat playing bass like playing a round of golf!

 

No wonder you all get disillusioned and fed up if you are only playing with people who think the same way.

Same here, I love playing bass, in 2020 when C19 was really raging I learnt many new songs and have become much better on the instrument as a whole, I think the bass really helped me throughout that period.

[Lfalex v1.1]

I've never played golf (a good walk ruined!)

So I've no basis for comparison. 

I don't object to people being ideologically different,  it's more about scruples, work ethic and the inability to reach a compromise in a band setting.

During C19 I we worked like crazy,  and had to put up with Joe Public at the same time in the same environment. 

Perhaps if I were in a more isolated job, and had more money and time, it'd be better. 

For the foreseeable future,  I think I'll stick to playing at home. 

[Boodang]

I've always hated doing pub gigs. Quality over quantity in terms of venues for me. Formed a band doing music I wanted to focus on with all like minded musicians (no mean feat as it turns out) and we only do proper venues and the summer festival circuit. Not so many gigs but each one is exciting. Also leaves more time for recording projects.

[KingBollock]

My band/gigging “career” was very short lived, being from the age of 12 to 17. I have since spent the last 30 years playing with myself. I made a couple of unfortunate, naive decisions, the last of which left me living in another town, with no way to contact the members of the band. Everyone had my number and knew where I (had) lived, but I had no one else’s (this was all pre-mobile phones). They were brilliant people, funny, helpful and incredibly talented. I still miss them to this day. I really, really miss playing with other people, so much so that it physically hurts to think about it.

 

I just want someone to play with. I am setting up my Lair so that I can record music (all but drums), but I can’t sing and lead guitar is beyond me. And I am hoping that I can learn the recording process.

 

It doesn’t help that I now live in the middle of nowhere. And while I would happily play several different genres, what I would really love to play is quite niche. And I am physically disabled, with a huge helping of mental health issues. So, while I would desperately love to make music with other people, it ain’t ever going to happen for me.

[Boodang]

8 minutes ago, KingBollock said:

My band/gigging “career” was very short lived, being from the age of 12 to 17. I have since spent the last 30 years playing with myself. I made a couple of unfortunate, naive decisions, the last of which left me living in another town, with no way to contact the members of the band. Everyone had my number and knew where I (had) lived, but I had no one else’s (this was all pre-mobile phones). They were brilliant people, funny, helpful and incredibly talented. I still miss them to this day. I really, really miss playing with other people, so much so that it physically hurts to think about it.

 

I just want someone to play with. I am setting up my Lair so that I can record music (all but drums), but I can’t sing and lead guitar is beyond me. And I am hoping that I can learn the recording process.

 

It doesn’t help that I now live in the middle of nowhere. And while I would happily play several different genres, what I would really love to play is quite niche. And I am physically disabled, with a huge helping of mental health issues. So, while I would desperately love to make music with other people, it ain’t ever going to happen for me.

If the music you want to do is quite niche, and given your circumstances, maybe the way forward for now is to write/record with like minded musicians as distance isn't so much an issue in these days of the internet. 

I have extended periods when I work away from the UK. During that time I bounce around musical ideas with the musicians I usually play with by sending them files I've recorded. It's a different creative process to normal but actually quite productive. The hard part, as always, is finding like minded musicians. 

Good luck and keep at it though, it's always worth it in the long run.

[uk_lefty]

2 hours ago, Joe Nation said:

I've never been anywhere good enough to gig - I can barely make it through one song without messing something up. I was in a band with some mates from sixth form back in about 2000 (oddly enough in Diss, same as the OP), but we mostly messed around and watched Kerrang instead of practicing

You are probably more than "good enough" to gig! This sounds like 99% of bands out there doing pub gigs, and I do not mean that as a disparaging comment at all, just that we all make mistakes. Two of my old bandmates came to watch my new band last week, I made TONS of mistakes, guitarist did too, they said the only way they knew was from the apologetic looks we were all giving each other across the stage. Just because a band is gigging doesn't mean they're a highly polished and well rehearsed unit.

[Rich]

3 hours ago, uk_lefty said:

I get exactly what you mean! It can go stale going round the same venues, playing the same stuff. So, does anyone else want to freshen up the set? A good shortcut is "this Aerosmith song is good, so let's learn a similarly good one to switch it with" etc. For venues, where do you like going for a weekend away? Try and get some gigs there, make a weekend of it with the family or the band or both. 

 

This would be my #1 advice to the OP. Keep the set list fresh and dynamic. Make sure you've got a big enough catalogue of songs that you can change the set list around. And the weekend away idea is great too, some of my favourite gigs have been far-flung ones. A cracking weekend in Brighton playing to bored bankers (they put us up in the same Hilton where the gig was, so it was straight off stage into the bar) and a mad one in Torquay at a young farmers' ball (oh christ, do they know how to party) were a couple of highlights.

 

3 hours ago, uk_lefty said:

OR... Do you like multiple genres of music? If you have time try to get into a second group playing something completely different. Change of pace, style, scene, type of gigs, new people. Even if they play songs you wouldn't normally listen to you'd get something out of it musically. 

 

This too. I'm in two bands with very different genres and the variety is fabulous. If you can, do it.

 

2 hours ago, Newfoundfreedom said:

The thing I really hate is when you finally do come off stage, and you've had a good gig, and you're finally getting some enjoyment out of it. Everybody else is already p#ssed, drinking up, and on their way home. So instead of getting to finally enjoy it, you just have to pack up and go home. I was a doorman (bouncer) for several years, and honestly, gigging almost feels like the same job. 

 

In all honesty, the load-out is by far my least favourite bit too. Although it's helped somewhat by the fact that those days of 40lb amps and 100lb cabs are long gone!
I don't mind the hanging-around beforehand though. I'll find myself a seat, ideally in the green/changing room if there is one, grab a coke and listen to an audiobook. The time flies past.

Edited March 4, 2022 by Rich

[Lozz196]

Yep, being good enough to gig includes being good enough to carry on when you - or another band member - makes a mistake, rather than just stopping or the song falling apart. Because mistakes are inevitable, it’s how you deal with them that counts.

[Ander87]

Hm, this is interesting.

 

Some 6-7 years ago I told my wife, passing through New Cross Inn blasting music, 'I'd like to play there some day' - I had no idea of the scene and had never been in a band. I know it's a small joint (part of the international circuit tho) in London, but that goal got ticked last Monday, and did my proudest performance.

 

I've been too familiar with forming bands, looking for bandmates, creating songs, frustrations from others personalities and egos, the band coasting.... semi-dissolving, getting rid of a band member.... seeing that the rest don't push to do what we've got to do... and simply, I am TIRED of leading a band - I've realised it's a role that makes me feel like I've a 2nd job.

 

Having said that, whilst NOT looking for a band at all, the desperation of this band to find a bass player led to me learning a setlist and being a permanent band member in 2 weeks. I felt very positively challenged to learn the songs and get on to stage again.... and I was in love with the silly gigs jokes and drives to, like you said, play in front of 20 drunk folk. I have performed in a sold out Scala show (1200 people) and felt the same rush.

 

I think that music is an egotistic exercise in many ways - what I'm saying is that I play for myself and to enjoy myself, and have finally found a band where I am a contributor rather than the only leading person. 

 

Very few of us get to live from this and have a whole nother life besides this - just make sure you enjoy the ride.

 

Ander.

[Ander87]

12 minutes ago, Rich said:

In all honesty, the load-out is by far my least favourite bit too. Although it's helped somewhat by the fact that those days of 40lb amps and 100lb cabs are long gone!
I don't mind the hanging-around beforehand though. I'll find myself a seat, ideally in the green/changing room if there is one, grab a coke and listen to an audiobook. The time flies past.

 

Having said above that music is just for oneself etc etc.... it is really nice when someone recognises you from a videoclip or gives you the nod or thanks for the music whilst loading out....!!! My little heart...

Edited March 4, 2022 by Rich
quote corrected

[theplumber]

Still gigging at 61 and enjoying it. Seeing the same old issues coming through in all the recent bands I have been in. Wew are all pretty complex and slightly annoying at times! But we try!!!

[Ander87]

35 minutes ago, uk_lefty said:

2 hours ago, Joe Nation said:

I've never been anywhere good enough to gig - I can barely make it through one song without messing something up. I was in a band with some mates from sixth form back in about 2000 (oddly enough in Diss, same as the OP), but we mostly messed around and watched Kerrang instead of practicing

You are probably more than "good enough" to gig! This sounds like 99% of bands out there doing pub gigs, and I do not mean that as a disparaging comment at all, just that we all make mistakes. Two of my old bandmates came to watch my new band last week, I made TONS of mistakes, guitarist did too, they said the only way they knew was from the apologetic looks we were all giving each other across the stage. Just because a band is gigging doesn't mean they're a highly polished and well rehearsed unit.

 

Mistakes do happen - you're bound to - I play in a punk rock band and I nearly ALWAYS make a bum note mistake or two, through the set. Long as you recover or is just that, a blip, you're good. Also, the audience will not notice - even if you tell them where... Live performance is not about perfection but about engagement and having a good time, and putting in the work to make sure you recover from those minor blips if they happen, swiftly!

[Joe Nation]

That's my problem, every dropped note results in either a complete loss of form or a rude word and starting again! (usually both)

[Ander87]

3 minutes ago, Joe Nation said:

That's my problem, every dropped note results in either a complete loss of form or a rude word and starting again! (usually both)

 

What do you do when you rehearse? If you stop and start again when rehearsing it is defensible that the same happens live.... We just don't stop for anybody over rehearsal - that is priceless to recover!

[Steve Browning]

Just imagine making a few c0ck ups during one song, being broadcast live on the BBC!! You just smile and keep going. A bum note is history, as soon as it's happened.

Edited March 4, 2022 by Steve Browning

[BigRedX]

I think (as others have said) the OP needs to ask themselves what exactly do they want out of playing bass/music?

 

If you're not enjoying being in this band, maybe you should leave and let someone who is more tolerant of all the less fun parts of gigging take your place.

 

IMO unless playing music is a major source of your income, you should only do it because you like it. Sometimes that does mean accepting that not every aspect of music or being in a band is fun, and often you will need to put up with the boring bits to be able to do the bits that you actually want to, whether that is playing a song over and over again to be able to nail a particularly tricky section, or travelling for hours to get to gigs.

 

It's difficult to give specific advice in cases like this because everyone and their musical situation is different, and what is acceptable and works for one person is complete inappropriate for another.

 

Maybe for the OP if you weren't in this band, what would you be doing and would you be enjoying it more?

[BigRedX]

3 hours ago, Joe Nation said:

I've never been anywhere good enough to gig - I can barely make it through one song without messing something up.

 

Your almost certainly going to be technically a better player than me, and I've managed to persuade people play music with me on stage and in the studio for over 40 years now.

 

The thing you need to remember is that at a gig any mistakes are over in less then a second, and unless you bring the whole song to a grinding halt within 30 seconds of it starting no-one in the audience is likely to notice. 

[BreadBin]

3 hours ago, Ander87 said:

 

What do you do when you rehearse? If you stop and start again when rehearsing it is defensible that the same happens live.... We just don't stop for anybody over rehearsal - that is priceless to recover!

This. The one rule about mistakes is that everyone just keeps going. Find your place and join back in, the song doesn't stop.

[Nicko]

5 hours ago, chris_b said:

I just don't understand how people can treat playing bass like playing a round of golf!

 

No wonder you all get disillusioned and fed up if you are only playing with people who think the same way.

I like playing bass in a band - at least in some bands.  I don't particularly like the gigging experience, and definitely don't enjoy some of the hassle being part of a gigging band entails.  On balance I'm happier not playing in a band.  It's a bit like only wanting to play golf when the sun shines and realising you live in England.

[Nicko]

3 hours ago, BigRedX said:

 

Your almost certainly going to be technically a better player than me, and I've managed to persuade people play music with me on stage and in the studio for over 40 years now.

 

The thing you need to remember is that at a gig any mistakes are over in less then a second, and unless you bring the whole song to a grinding halt within 30 seconds of it starting no-one in the audience is likely to notice. 

Apart from when your lead guitarist gets drunk, and doesn't realise his new tuner is chromatic. That most definitely lasted more than a second and there was no way the band was going to ride that one out.