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*Ring Ring*

Hello, police.

Hi, it's Gordon again, about the stolen van.

Hi Gordon.

I've been talking to the band, and firstly I have to apologise for before.

Oh that's OK. You're in the police band you say?

Yes.

Did you play at the Chief Super's birthday party?

Um, no.

Oh really?

... I'm going to need to call you back again...

*Click*

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23 minutes ago, ZilchWoolham said:

I'm sorry Ricky, but this script of yours is utterly unbelievable. Sting would never call himself Gordon. 

*Ring Ring*

Hello, police.

Hi, I'm calling to report a stolen van.

I see, is it your van, Sir?

Yes.

And your name is?

Sting.

I see - Sting.

Yes.

Would that be your first name or last name, Sir?

Err... well both I suppose.

So it's "Sting Sting"...

Well, yes, if you like.

It's not what I like Sir, I just need your name.

Okay.

Computer won't accept that Sir.

Oh dear.

Its saying the forename(s) must differ from the surname.

Bummer.

What if we put "Sting" down as your surname?

Fine.

So what first name shall we put?

Gordon.

Ahh, Gordon! Hello. We were having a little sweepstake on when you'd call ba *Click*

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1 hour ago, stewblack said:

I don't watch TV but damn I'd watch this.

With Brian Blessed in a regular cameo role. Every time Sting appears, he pops up and says........

 

 

*wait for it*

 

 

 

 

”Gordon’s arrived!”

 

* I’ll get me coat....

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I'm not that happy with all this impersonating myself and the lads.

Some of you are going dahn, you slags

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I always found the band´s name boring. But I really learned to play the bass by listening to Sting´s bass lines on Regatte De Blanc in 1980, when I had to switch from guitar to bass to be able to join the school´s band. They already had three guitars. 🙂

His bass lines are so good, I immeditaley understood the concept of bass in pop music.

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2 hours ago, fleabag said:

I'm not that happy with all this impersonating myself and the lads.

Some of you are going dahn, you slags

You'll never take me alive, copper. 😁

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You never understood me, anyway
You'll never catch me...
I won't give up...
You'll NEVER take me alive!

 

 

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22 hours ago, Ricky 4000 said:

*Ring Ring*

Hello, police.

Hi, I'm calling to report a stolen van.

I see, is it your van, Sir?

Yes.

And your name is?

Sting.

I see - Sting.

Yes.

Would that be your first name or last name, Sir?

Err... well both I suppose.

So it's "Sting Sting"...

Well, yes, if you like.

It's not what I like Sir, I just need your name.

Okay.

Computer won't accept that Sir.

Oh dear.

Its saying the forename(s) must differ from the surname.

Bummer.

What if we put "Sting" down as your surname?

Fine.

So what first name shall we put?

Gordon.

Ahh, Gordon! Hello. We were having a little sweepstake on when you'd call ba *Click*

I see a Netflix Original series in this:-  'Ring Sting - The Pain That Won't Go Away'  🙂

 

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On 10/02/2019 at 14:16, Maude said:

Also, while we're talking about Sting and his lies about being in the police, I bet the fooker's never been to the moon either. 

 

On 10/02/2019 at 19:03, stewblack said:

I do believe he has taken his tea in the Sahara though so we'll have to give him that one.

 

On 10/02/2019 at 19:04, stewblack said:

Whether he actually felt Sue Lawley or not is more of a mystery.

And he's definitely been an Englishman in New York, visiting his friend Miss Gradenko (who was Born in the fifties); she was having a bit of trouble with a Demolition Man and had nearly been Driven to Tears...

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He was once thrown out of his flat by his 'Landlord' and the 'Fall Out' from that is his girlfriend, 'Roxanne' left him which left his bed being to big without her, but undeterred and living on 'Peanuts' he told another girl, 'Sally' that he was 'Hungry for you'. Sally said he had a 'Deathwish' but she had him ;wrapped around her finger'. Sting said it would be ok 'on any other day' as he gazed into 'visions of the night'

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6 hours ago, police squad said:

He was once thrown out of his flat by his 'Landlord' and the 'Fall Out' from that is his girlfriend, 'Roxanne' left him which left his bed being to big without her, but undeterred and living on 'Peanuts' he told another girl, 'Sally' that he was 'Hungry for you'. Sally said he had a 'Deathwish' but she had him ;wrapped around her finger'. Sting said it would be ok 'on any other day' as he gazed into 'visions of the night'

You win 🚔

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Yes, and walking on the moon would be OK on any other day.

I'll get my coat and tea in...

Edited by itu

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At 5:15 Christian McBride asks him " Who are your favourite bass players ? " . He replies with one name ....

Place bets now ....

 

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14 minutes ago, DaveFry said:

At 5:15 Christian McBride asks him " Who are your favourite bass players ? " . He replies with one name ....

Place bets now ....

 

Haha...Yeah, I know who it is.

I subscribed to Christian's YouTube channel a couple of years back (for his Big Band stuff), and landed on that little get together with Sting - It's actually a good listen.

Edited by lowdown

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On 12/02/2019 at 17:04, gpw5150 said:

I think Mr Sting sometimes has a sense of humour.....

 

In an outfit like that, he'd have to.

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15 hours ago, nikon F said:

that's good Ricky ,,,but I really need to see the full script before I consider turning into a sitcom 

Oh, I have loads of material!

You know they say that the Queen thinks the world smells of paint? Because wherever she visits, there's a team of decorators 30 feet in front of her, giving the place a freshen-up...

Well the police (the band), think the world has dysentery.

Bear with me on this - One afternoon, the police arrive at a venue ready for soundcheck before a gig that night. A member of the venue staff happens to be outside having a smoke, so he calls towards the doors "Ayup, the police have arrived!" Cue a stampede into the ladies and gents toilets, with much door slamming and flushing going on... the "boys in blanc" stride in, to witness the whole staff filling out of the toilets, looking pale and ashen...

Next day, the three lads have won an auction for a bicycle on eBay. It's "collection only", so they plan to call by and collect it from a woman's house on the way to some media commitment... the band find the house, and while Sting is getting the rear doors open on the van, Andy and Stuart go up to the door, with a knock, and call out "Hi, it's the police!". There's a muffled scream from inside, followed by 'thump thump thump' (stairs). 'slam' (bathroom door) 'flush' (toilet) - then a distant voice calls out "Hold on, I'll be down in a minute"... Door finally opens, and Stuart says "Hello! We're the police! - do you want a selfie? We've won the auction for your bike!" Woman: Jesus Christ. Stuart: Are you OK, love? You don't look well? Woman mutters: No, I just lost about 60 pound as it goes... the bike is round by the back door - help yourselves...

So now it's the following day, and our intrepid band have to visit the big smoke for a management meeting... they set off early, and on the way, they realise that they have to travel fairly close to the elderly Mrs Summers' house (Andy's mum's), so they reckon they can make a short surprise visit on the way through... they pull up on the driveway, and while Andy is making a fuss of the family's golden retriever outside, Sting joggs up to the front door, and for a laugh, he goes *knock knock knock* "Open up Mrs Summers, it's the police". :biggrin:

*muffled squeak from inside* - 'thump thump thump' (stairs) - 'slam' (bathroom door) - etc etc....

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