So, I answered an Ad.....

[Rich]

1 hour ago, Stylon Pilson said:

There are two types of post on JoinMyBand. There's the "we're an active gigging band and our bass player has moved away from the area so we are looking to replace him" and then there's the "I'm a guitarist, I'm great, I used to be the touring guitar tech for the guitarist in [insert obscure 1970s act you've never heard of] and I am looking for a bass player, drummer, keyboard player and vocalist to start a band."

The second category are the time-wasters (or sources of hilarious anecdotes, depending upon your perspective).

I've seen a couple of ads along the lines of "Band seeks bassist, gigs waiting, covers but not the usual stuff" which turned out to be "Guitarist seeks bassist, drummer, vocalist, in fact everyone except guitarist, gigs are a distant aspiration, and the first things on the set list are Dakota and Sex On fcking Fire".

 

Edited January 22, 2019 by Rich

[Unknown_User]

3 hours ago, Teebs said:

Being in a band with friends is just one way. Its also far worse if things go wrong - long-term friendships damaged etc.

You never know what chance encounter will lead to the birth of a new band.

Don't write it off @oZZma

As long as you can still play & have some gear, you're still in the game.

Good luck!

 

19 minutes ago, Monkey Steve said:

I've ranted about it before, but the different interpretations of "really motivated" is a massive bugbear of mine.  Half the people who claim to be really motivated when you form a band are just flat out liars.  Nothing more frustrating than finding a band member who is the right standard and fits in brilliantly, who then turns out only to be available every third Saturday because of the kids and the wife and the golf and everything else they do, and then only if Arsenal aren't at home or on the TV, and as long as they haven't had a long week and don't really fancy it.  the type that will be in the band when it suits them, but it's last on their list of priorities if they can find anything better to do.  the type that like the idea of being in band more than they actually like being in a band.

And in my experience it's quite often very talented musicians, who think that the band should be grateful for their presence.  I've put up with this type for far too long in previous bands and it only ever ends in one way, they get kicked out.  I can see that if it's a duo then that may not be the ideal option.

I note that you're saying that you're a beginner, and you made a comment about being a crappy bassist.  I don't know if this is false modestly, a joke or a brutally honest assessment, but if you're looking for other musicians, it could be a factor - the thread is all about walking into an audition thinking that it's going to be excellent musicians based on what the OP was told, and being massively disappointed by the standard of the playing.  While I can't solve your band issues, I would suggest that concentrating on improving your playing, and getting out there and making connections are a couple of areas you could look at. 

On that last point I've always found that the better bands don't need to advertise for musicians, they spend their time hanging around with musicians, and whenever a vacancy arises they can ask one of their mates, or if they don't have any bass playing mates who are available, they can ask their mates if they know any good bass players who are free.  If nobody knows you at the moment then you're never getting that call, and it's down to you to change that.  It's not necessarily an easy thing to get into, but going to jam nights, or playing in bands that aren't playing exactly the music that you want to do gets you a bit more experience, and gets you known among local musicians.  And it works both ways, you'll get to know the other local musicians and you'll have contacts that you can ask to join your band.  And if you really hate the music you're playing, you can always quit, but at least you'll have done something in the meantime.

In summary, keep your current band going if you're making music that you like, but maybe think about going and doing something else at the same time, even if it's not exactly what you want to be doing.

Definitely this and this.  Sounds cynical but to stay sane you almost have to look at it as a transaction in a sense.  Weigh up the pros and cons of do you want to be playing something that's not exactly what you want, but is at least getting you out there and you're learning and meeting new people.  Is the perfect thing worth the hassle of getting people together or just not working at the moment?  Definitely don't limit yourself and the more you do, the more doors can open.

 

[Stylon Pilson]

18 minutes ago, Rich said:

I've seen a couple of ads along the lines of "Band seeks bassist, gigs waiting, covers but not the usual stuff" which turned out to be "Guitarist seeks bassist, drummer, vocalist, in fact everyone except guitarist, gigs are a distant aspiration, and the first things on the set list are Dakota and Sex On fcking Fire".

Oh, that can absolutely happen. Some people are lying cheeseweasels. But that's what the initial email conversation / phone call is for - it's the bit where you unpack each point in their ad and make sure that it matches your expectations. And also all the other stuff.

S.P.

[Guest oZZma]

9 minutes ago, Stylon Pilson said:

Oh, that can absolutely happen. Some people are lying cheeseweasels.

I've also come across people shamessly lying about their music knowledge and influence to make it match mine, looking on google or wikipedia like if it wasn't blatant that they have no idea what I'm talking about. Sad and miserable.

[lownote]

On 22/01/2019 at 11:04, Monkey Steve said:

I note that you're saying that you're a beginner, and you made a comment about being a crappy bassist.  I don't know if this is false modestly, a joke or a brutally honest assessment, but if you're looking for other musicians, it could be a factor - the thread is all about walking into an audition thinking that it's going to be excellent musicians based on what the OP was told, and being massively disappointed by the standard of the playing.  While I can't solve your band issues, I would suggest that concentrating on improving your playing, and getting out there and making connections are a couple of areas you could look at.  

On that last point I've always found that the better bands don't need to advertise for musicians, they spend their time hanging around with musicians, and whenever a vacancy arises they can ask one of their mates, or if they don't have any bass playing mates who are available, they can ask their mates if they know any good bass players who are free.  If nobody knows you at the moment then you're never getting that call, and it's down to you to change that.  It's not necessarily an easy thing to get into, but going to jam nights, or playing in bands that aren't playing exactly the music that you want to do gets you a bit more experience, and gets you known among local musicians.  And it works both ways, you'll get to know the other local musicians and you'll have contacts that you can ask to join your band.  And if you really hate the music you're playing, you can always quit, but at least you'll have done something in the meantime.

In summary, keep your current band going if you're making music that you like, but maybe think about going and doing something else at the same time, even if it's not exactly what you want to be doing.

This is all so wise, especially the second paragraph. That's EXACTLY how the serious (semi pro, pro) scene works in Norwich, anyway.

As to rubbishing yourself, modesty and managing expectations is all fine but it can backfire.  Our band had a vacancy for a singer.  We auditioned a huge fat ugly slob who turned up jelly wobbling and sweating with fear and immediately started apologizing for being a fat slob.  He went on and on about how he shouldn't even exist until we got depressed and had no option but to show him the door. 

He has since found a band, relaxed into the role and is now one of the best and most in demand singers around here.

Rather than slag yourself off, don't say anything.  Just be nice, quiet and play. The band will work out for themselves whether you're still got stuff to learn and whether they can live with it.

Just my tuppenyworth from personal experience....

Edited January 26, 2019 by lownote12

[Guest oZZma]

Thanks everybody for the advice, guys, I feel quite demoralized but at least I see more clearly where the problems are and I can at least try to widen my chances... 

[Monkey Steve]

2 hours ago, oZZma said:

As for knowing people and have contacts, that would require even harder work, I have the wrongest personality traits for that stuff 

I'm not the sort who would ever turn up at a jam night on my tod and want to get up and play with strangers - just doesn't float my boat at all - but maybe have a think about what might work for you and how you can meet other musicians.  Are there any local music venues where you could hang out and meet people, that sort of thing.

One final comment, you say that the drummer isn't as committed as you because he only wants to practice once a week.  I have to say, once a week is pretty standard for the vast majority of bands who would regard themselves as serious/committed.  The most I've ever done personally was a semi-pro lot I depped with who officially practice three times a week, although actually that gave them plenty of cover if one or more of them couldn't make all three, and two a week was more usual.  You could certainly see the difference that it made to how well they played, and they specifically structured it so that two of the practices were solely about performance - get in, play the set, go home, typically 90 minutes, maybe an hour of actual playing, and if they made a mistake, just note it, move on to the next song, and go home and work on it yourself before the next practice.  Then one longer four hour practice each week for learning and writing stuff, working on arrangements, etc.  It helped that they have their own studio so don't have any fees to pay

I can understand your frustration (shared by the lead guitarist in the band mentioned above, who never cancelled any of the practises, would want to rehearse regardless of how many others had dropped out, and would happily be in the studio seven nights a week if he could) and I've been there with band members who think that doing a couple of extra practises ahead of gigs is a definite no because they have already rehearsed once that week and that's enough for them.  But I wouldn't write off the drummer just yet for only wanting to do once a week, and perhaps think about how to structure the rehearsal that you do have so that you get the most out of it - are you working on writing, working on performance, or a bit of both.  It's pretty common to split things up and let the band know in advance what's happening - this week we're working on a new song, next week we're just working on performing the songs that we have in the set, the week after it's about arrangements, etc.

Edited January 22, 2019 by Monkey Steve

[Hobbayne]

On 21/01/2019 at 00:05, gpw5150 said:

On Joinmyband.

TBH, I play stuff with a couple of guys weekly and it's okay, needs polish, but we are not intending to gig for a while, but they are good fun and well spirited guys.  However, An ask came up on JMB for a bass player for a 'Chic' cover band.  Well, I remember most of the basslines, but there are a few versions of the songs about so, I am not too familiar with all the changes.

I speak to the guy on the phone who tells me he is an ex sound engineer and toured extensively, he is looking for high quality musicians an people who can simply pick stuff up and run with it.  He is quite firm that this is his project.  He has a drummer and a vocalist on email and adds me to the group.

Some emails are exchanged, some in a random order with some song references, but no fixed list or versions, just some songs across 3 emails with 'keys' that are not really keys - they are chords played for the songs - so, I do a few bits of Chic (as this is the primary focus) as time dictates and leave it at that.  We are asked to meet at a rehearsal space at a time and date.

I turn up at the allotted time to find a vocalist who is about 200 years old, a bloke with arthritis on the drums and the guy who has organised this is possibly one of the worst guitar players I have ever encountered - literally no pazazz or feel at all.  The vocalist does not have lyrics for all songs, I only rehearsed the chic ones that I skim read and the drummer only has 1/2 options in his capabilities and 120BPM was well out of his comfort zone, mixed with a god awful soulless drone from the guitar and an inability to play with any dexterity - Even the SRV solo on David Bowie's 'Lets Dance' was beyond him - Almost swiped the guitar from his hand and played it for him......

I was told by 'our leader' that my bass sound was wrong (and reminded of his vast sound engineering career) and I was missing out various bits of the songs - unsurprisingly he could not point to an individual bit missing and instead stated that the bassline is busier - I agreed and just pulled my hat down tighter on my head!  As for sound, well, I usually practice through headphones on my amp at home and then have to make adjustments hen I have the cab linked up at rehearsals and was not really given an opportunity to adjust, in fact, I was given no time at all to warm up on a freezing cold night.

Suffice to say, I won't be going back and I doubt I will hear from him anyway - It was truly awful.  I almost packed up and walked on the 'sound' and 'busier' basslines bit....

Anyone else had to deal with this....?

Heard anything back yet? 😋

[EliasMooseblaster]

2 hours ago, oZZma said:

As for knowing people and have contacts, that would require even harder work, I have the wrongest personality traits for that stuff 

 

12 minutes ago, Monkey Steve said:

I'm not the sort who would ever turn up at a jam night on my tod and want to get up and play with strangers - just doesn't float my boat at all - but maybe have a think about what might work for you and how you can meet other musicians.  Are there any local music venues where you could hang out and meet people, that sort of thing.

I can sympathise with both of your positions - I am possibly one of the world's worst networkers. That said, I took a chance on a jam one night and it marked the beginning of a whole new phase of my musical life. I realise I was probably fortunate: it was a pretty good jam night, which attracted a lot of pro/semi-pro musicians, and I happened to rock up on a night when one of their more regular bass players was away. But although I got a lot of time up onstage, I hardly spoke to anybody, and I certainly didn't make any lasting connections. The key was to keep going back, and that way I gradually got to know people. Ended up in a multitude of different bands, including the one that's been my main focus since 2011. So you may not have to network too actively to meet some more musicians - there is a great benefit to being a dedicated bass player in a room full of singers and guitarists!

[BigRedX]

I can't say that "networking" has ever really worked for me in over 40 years of playing in bands. Nearly every band that I have formed or joined has been done through adverts, either on the walls of musical instrument or record shops or more recently on-line. 

Once I get to the audition having been in a reasonably well-known local band or two in the past might have helped prove to the others that I was serious about playing and my commitment to being in a band, but it has never got me into the door at the audition in the first place. That has always been done by carefully wording my ad or only seeking out other ads that looked as though they were written by musicians that were serious about their band.

Of course what works for one person does not by any means work for everyone (or indeed any one else).

[gpw5150]

@Hobbayne

 

14 hours ago, gpw5150 said:

So, i got the rejection letter.  He rejected the singer and drummer too!

apparently, he agonized over keeping me, but felt my sound and general look did not fit with his vision.  well, at least i have all my own hair....!

Must admit that it has taken the weight off me telling him where to go.

on the lighter side, great practice tonight with the usual band!

So, basically, he has no one......as we all got rejected.

[Monkey Steve]

26 minutes ago, gpw5150 said:

@Hobbayne

 

So, basically, he has no one......as we all got rejected.

in fairness, he does share your opinion of the others, so you're not miles apart

😂

[bubinga5]

20 hours ago, ahpook said:

Rather depends on the the type of band you're looking for.

Really. I thought it mught be a mix of genres from any site.?

[Monkey Steve]

38 minutes ago, EliasMooseblaster said:

 

I can sympathise with both of your positions - I am possibly one of the world's worst networkers. That said, I took a chance on a jam one night and it marked the beginning of a whole new phase of my musical life. I realise I was probably fortunate: it was a pretty good jam night, which attracted a lot of pro/semi-pro musicians, and I happened to rock up on a night when one of their more regular bass players was away. But although I got a lot of time up onstage, I hardly spoke to anybody, and I certainly didn't make any lasting connections. The key was to keep going back, and that way I gradually got to know people. Ended up in a multitude of different bands, including the one that's been my main focus since 2011. So you may not have to network too actively to meet some more musicians - there is a great benefit to being a dedicated bass player in a room full of singers and guitarists!

The networking has always evolved naturally for me: played in a couple of bands with mates I knew from school, bumped into an ex-bandmate in a rock club a year later who asked me to join his band, that led to another band with most of them, which then led to another band with a guitarist that I met through the band, then on and on to being asked to join or form bands with other people that I had played with or knew.  I've never responded to an ad or auditioned for a bunch of strangers.  True, there have been periods where I haven't played in bands, but I'm quite patient and something will turn up eventually even if it takes a year or two, either me rounding people up to start something new or being rounded up by somebody that I know.

I know it's not the same for others, and there isn't one way that will definitely work, but if whatever you're doing isn't working then it's time to try something new - as you say, it worked brilliantly for you

[ahpook]

9 minutes ago, bubinga5 said:

Really. I thought it mught be a mix of genres from any site.?

Not genres, what types of bands...100% professional corporate gigs, or a few people knocking out some tunes for fun once a week. Covers or originals ? I see very few ads for top-level professional bands on places like JMB, lots for what seem like less high-end affairs.

(I'm not high end btw )

Edited January 22, 2019 by ahpook

[EliasMooseblaster]

20 minutes ago, Monkey Steve said:

I know it's not the same for others, and there isn't one way that will definitely work, but if whatever you're doing isn't working then it's time to try something new - as you say, it worked brilliantly for you

I forgot to mention it in my earlier post, but that was the main motivation for me. I had a couple of projects on the go that had stagnated, and one day I decided that if I wanted to get out and get playing again, I was going to have to take some bold steps in a different direction.

(I'd never been to a proper jam night before, so it felt like a bold step to me at the time, anyway!)

[Conan]

On 21/01/2019 at 13:17, fleabag said:

Besides, some people would be attracted to smashed crabs, if truth were told.

It's not unusual to have a crush on Asians...

[mattbass6]

Try and call on musicians you know and trust or, musicians recommended by friends / fellow musicians. You'll automatically have an understanding between you. I know it's not always that easy but it's the safest bet 99% of the time 😉

[bubinga5]

58 minutes ago, ahpook said:

Not genres, what types of bands...100% professional corporate gigs, or a few people knocking out some tunes for fun once a week. Covers or originals ? I see very few ads for top-level professional bands on places like JMB, lots for what seem like less high-end affairs.

(I'm not high end btw )

Ah. sorry. Well I'm looking for a band who have a good knowledge of theory. Practice once or twice a week. Originals or covers. Playing at Festivals Clubs etc. Soul and Funk being a plus of course. 

[fleabag]

39 minutes ago, Conan said:

It's not unusual to have a crush on Asians...

Or even crustaceans.

... oh, i get it.

 

[ahpook]

14 minutes ago, bubinga5 said:

Ah. sorry. Well I'm looking for a band who have a good knowledge of theory. Practice once or twice a week. Originals or covers. Playing at Festivals Clubs etc. Soul and Funk being a plus of course. 

Not what I'm looking for, but we're both looking for bands !

And I think here's part of the frustration some seem to experience with places like JMB - what's a 'band' ? Everyone's idea of a band isn't the same.

Edited January 22, 2019 by ahpook

[bubinga5]

16 minutes ago, ahpook said:

Not what I'm looking for, but we're both looking for bands !

And I think here's part of the frustration some seem to experience with places like JMB - what's a 'band' ? Everyone's idea of a band isn't the same.

Maybe I need to start from scratch. Advertise for select musicians. Geographically speaking im not in the best area. 

[Monkey Steve]

2 minutes ago, bubinga5 said:

Maybe I need to start from scratch. Advertise for select musicians. Geographically speaking im not in the best area. 

you have nothing to lose in trying...well, other than potentially a lot of time in dealing with people who you'd rather not have anything to do with (honestly, that's the biggest thing that puts me off starting a new band, having to deal with the retarded children that most musicians are...and that's the good ones...bass players are notable by our exception to this rule). 

But that aside,  I never quite get why people complain that they can't find the exact band they want to join, yet do nothing about closing that gap and seeing if there are a band's worth of people out there thinking exactly the same thing and waiting for an ad to appear.  Sounds like you have a very clear idea of what you want to do, so go for it

[bubinga5]

8 minutes ago, Monkey Steve said:

you have nothing to lose in trying...well, other than potentially a lot of time in dealing with people who you'd rather not have anything to do with (honestly, that's the biggest thing that puts me off starting a new band, having to deal with the retarded children that most musicians are...and that's the good ones...bass players are notable by our exception to this rule). 

But that aside,  I never quite get why people complain that they can't find the exact band they want to join, yet do nothing about closing that gap and seeing if there are a band's worth of people out there thinking exactly the same thing and waiting for an ad to appear.  Sounds like you have a very clear idea of what you want to do, so go for it

The thing is I did find a very good drummer and an old friend who's a monster keys guy, but there life (kids etc) are there priority, and rightly so..So they couldn't make it to rehearsals, can do that date, can't do that one. Ok lets make it this date. Ah.... cant do that date. Weeks go past.  Very frustrating. Gave up in the end.   On I shall plod. 

Edited January 22, 2019 by bubinga5

[ahpook]

1 hour ago, bubinga5 said:

On I shall plod. 

I think there can be a large element of plodding in it.

But on we go :)