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gpw5150

So, I answered an Ad.....

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On Joinmyband.

TBH, I play stuff with a couple of guys weekly and it's okay, needs polish, but we are not intending to gig for a while, but they are good fun and well spirited guys.  However, An ask came up on JMB for a bass player for a 'Chic' cover band.  Well, I remember most of the basslines, but there are a few versions of the songs about so, I am not too familiar with all the changes.

I speak to the guy on the phone who tells me he is an ex sound engineer and toured extensively, he is looking for high quality musicians an people who can simply pick stuff up and run with it.  He is quite firm that this is his project.  He has a drummer and a vocalist on email and adds me to the group.

Some emails are exchanged, some in a random order with some song references, but no fixed list or versions, just some songs across 3 emails with 'keys' that are not really keys - they are chords played for the songs - so, I do a few bits of Chic (as this is the primary focus) as time dictates and leave it at that.  We are asked to meet at a rehearsal space at a time and date.

I turn up at the allotted time to find a vocalist who is about 200 years old, a bloke with arthritis on the drums and the guy who has organised this is possibly one of the worst guitar players I have ever encountered - literally no pazazz or feel at all.  The vocalist does not have lyrics for all songs, I only rehearsed the chic ones that I skim read and the drummer only has 1/2 options in his capabilities and 120BPM was well out of his comfort zone, mixed with a god awful soulless drone from the guitar and an inability to play with any dexterity - Even the SRV solo on David Bowie's 'Lets Dance' was beyond him - Almost swiped the guitar from his hand and played it for him......

I was told by 'our leader' that my bass sound was wrong (and reminded of his vast sound engineering career) and I was missing out various bits of the songs - unsurprisingly he could not point to an individual bit missing and instead stated that the bassline is busier - I agreed and just pulled my hat down tighter on my head!  As for sound, well, I usually practice through headphones on my amp at home and then have to make adjustments hen I have the cab linked up at rehearsals and was not really given an opportunity to adjust, in fact, I was given no time at all to warm up on a freezing cold night.

Suffice to say, I won't be going back and I doubt I will hear from him anyway - It was truly awful.  I almost packed up and walked on the 'sound' and 'busier' basslines bit....

Anyone else had to deal with this....?

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Not in a long time but... yeah, I've got stories. It goes with the territory, unfortunately. Some people really make an effort at talking the talk... you'd think that they know one day you'll find out they were not exactly realistic, but that doesn't stop them.

 

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Very frustrating but I think it's the typical story. Extensive life as a soundman probably means he worked in a cinema turning the volume knob in between the ads finishing and the film starting. Too many blaggers out there. It took me ages to learn that the guitarist in my band was a sound engineer for touring function bands as his full time job for years. He never really mentions it unless asked, and he is damn good at setting the sound up. Very reserved about his abilities on guitar too (he's excellent though genuinely doesn't believe so himself).

I think those that talk the most, unless they can back it up with video etc are probably liars.

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I've nearly walked away for being told what and how to play and that my sound was wrong. 

I don't understand people who fuss and worry about such things when they have their own stuff to deal with.

I'm persevering, we'll see.

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Nobody tells me what to play. I'll take suggestions. The reason is simple. I would never dream of insulting anyone by telling them what to play. Therefore, I'm not putting up with it myself.

I like choice and if someone tries to take that away, then I'll probably make a choice to leave.

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Your experience is far from unusual, sadly. Lots of wannabees and delusionals out there where music is concerned. I think the bragging about being an ex sound engineer is the first red flag for me.

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1 minute ago, mikel said:

Your experience is far from unusual, sadly. Lots of wannabees and delusionals out there where music is concerned. I think the bragging about being an ex sound engineer is the first red flag for me.

I work with lots of "ex lawyers" doing far less glamorous and less well paid jobs. They love to tell you that they're an ex lawyer and try to butt in on anything legal and say things like "this is day 1 law school..." Before saying something obvious you've already covered. If they were a good lawyer, they'd still be a lawyer*

 

 

 

 

*Unless they hated being a lawyer at all. But then they probably wouldn't go round telling everyone that.

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In a former band the guitarist and singer, whose band it was, kept continually criticising a new drummer and keyboard player even shouting at them during gigs. I took great exception to their bullying attitude, after all it was supposed to be fun.

The guitarist was often making mistakes so I was mentally and verbally prepared for when they eventually turned on me.  "Until you can play a complete gig without any mistakes you have no right to criticise me or my playing".  I decided to jump ship before the situation ever arose but that phrase is stored away for another day.   

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1 hour ago, uk_lefty said:

I work with lots of "ex lawyers" doing far less glamorous and less well paid jobs. They love to tell you that they're an ex lawyer and try to butt in on anything legal and say things like "this is day 1 law school..." Before saying something obvious you've already covered. If they were a good lawyer, they'd still be a lawyer*

 

 

 

 

*Unless they hated being a lawyer at all. But then they probably wouldn't go round telling everyone that.

My wife is an ex lawyer....now a painter and actress,

I.e. I pay for everything....

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JMB and all the rest are full of  blagging numpties.  No different to dating websites.  Profiles seem excellent till you meet up and find out that " good looking "  advertiser has a face like a  bag of smashed crabs.  Better to be truthful upfront and stop wasting there's and your time.

Besides, some people would be attracted to smashed crabs, if truth were told.

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I once 'failed' a JMB audition for playing Broken Stones 'wrong' (sorry for the 'air quotes').  I'd asked 2/3 times which version they wanted but apparently the ultimate arbiter was the drummer who would 'know what was right'.  Unfortunately not having the psychic ability to determine what this was I apparently missed the mark........I was so upset.

Edited by martthebass
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The awkward moment you want to walk out of the rehearsal, but its going to take 15 minutes to pack up your gear and leave. Been there.

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5 hours ago, Wolverinebass said:

Nobody tells me what to play. I'll take suggestions. The reason is simple. I would never dream of insulting anyone by telling them what to play. Therefore, I'm not putting up with it myself.

I like choice and if someone tries to take that away, then I'll probably make a choice to leave.

Oooh, I will admit to being a bit fastidious....!

For example; Gun 'n Roses 'Sweet Child 'o Mine' simply has to be played as the record as does the solo on 'Livin' on a prayer'.  I am all for it being fun, mistakes and willingness to learn and educate, but when you can hear something that is being played plain wrong when it is a key component of the song, I gotta say something as it is so blindingly obvious.  As an ex guitar player, it is tough not to show people how to do it and there is a way of phrasing your eagerness to get that bit right 'can I help you rehearse that? can I show you a trick to make that bit easier?, Shall we slow it down just there and get your fingers in the zone? etc etc' and TBH, in my current band the guitar player and I regularly swap when he wants to try something on bass or I can do the guitar line more fluidly.  He sings as well and some guitar lines are beyond him when he is singing.  Hells Bells by AC/DC, as an example, is an instrument swap song for us.

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Well, I've got an ad on JMB and Gumtree at the moment.

I hope for more luck than you folks !

 

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6 minutes ago, gpw5150 said:

Oooh, I will admit to being a bit fastidious....!

For example; Gun 'n Roses 'Sweet Child 'o Mine' simply has to be played as the record as does the solo on 'Livin' on a prayer'.  I am all for it being fun, mistakes and willingness to learn and educate, but when you can hear something that is being played plain wrong when it is a key component of the song, I gotta say something as it is so blindingly obvious.  As an ex guitar player, it is tough not to show people how to do it and there is a way of phrasing your eagerness to get that bit right 'can I help you rehearse that? can I show you a trick to make that bit easier?, Shall we slow it down just there and get your fingers in the zone? etc etc' and TBH, in my current band the guitar player and I regularly swap when he wants to try something on bass or I can do the guitar line more fluidly.  He sings as well and some guitar lines are beyond him when he is singing.  Hells Bells by AC/DC, as an example, is an instrument swap song for us.

I only do originals so I don't have that problem. Therefore being told what to play in my situation is a problem that I have no wish to entertain.

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15 hours ago, gpw5150 said:

Anyone else had to deal with this....?

I think you can count yourself lucky that you weren't the one not quite up to scratch here.

I've done a couple of auditions that still make me cringe when I think of them - Bowie said once that when you feel you're just out of your depth, that's the best place to be, but in my case it wasn't, I was drowning... in full public view. 

It'd be interesting to hear whether they get any gigs - afterall, money talks, b&llshit walks... 

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2 minutes ago, petebassist said:

I think you can count yourself lucky that you weren't the one not quite up to scratch here.

I've done a couple of auditions that still make me cringe when I think of them - Bowie said once that when you feel you're just out of your depth, that's the best place to be, but in my case it wasn't, I was drowning... in full public view. 

 It'd be interesting to hear whether they get any gigs - afterall, money talks, b&llshit walks... 

Almost impossible to play disco on the bass at 45 BPM!  

I suspect no one will come up to the standard, of which 'the leader' was not capable himself......and it will go nowhere.

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15 hours ago, gpw5150 said:

Anyone else had to deal with this....?

Yes, similar stories, though thankfully not for some time now. I found that as time went on, I got to meet more musicians at open mics and local gigs, who I got on with. Eventually, I started jamming with ones I "clicked" with.
Oddly enough, it's mainly been the ones who have advertised for a bassist, that have been the most disastrous / ridiculous / puzzling, in my experience

I once answered an ad, where the band posted some nice videos of pretty good songs (no clear images of band members though) The ad clearly said "age not important" "Ability, experience and own gear essential"
And the first phonecall I was asked "how old are you?" I said the ad stated it wasn't important, and was told "It's not, as long as you're aged between 19 and 22!" "We don't want no kids, and we don't want no pensioners either"

Remarkably, The ad had stated their influences were the Rolling Stones, Beatles, Kinks, Doors etc - so I said "So if Bill Wyman or Paul McCartney turned up.... you'd tell them to F*** off, would you?"

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1 minute ago, Marc S said:

so I said "So if Bill Wyman or Paul McCartney turned up.... you'd tell them to F*** off, would you?"

I probably would tell Paul McCartney.....

**I might not....

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56 minutes ago, ahpook said:

Well, I've got an ad on JMB and Gumtree at the moment.

I hope for more luck than you folks !

 

Bad luck @ahpook...

...I've just replied to your ad! ;)

(can I bring my kazoo to the audition?)

Edited by Teebs
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I answered an ad by a singer on the Norwich Musicians Network looking to form a band.  I was the first to reply and she promised more details.  So a day later I get a playlist of about 100 songs from every conceivable genre, plus she wanted to know if I would be available for international touring.  I pointed out we hadn't even had our first pub gig. For some reason this generated a tsunami of outrage at my negativity.

Edited by lownote12
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5 hours ago, uk_lefty said:

I work with lots of "ex lawyers" doing far less glamorous and less well paid jobs. They love to tell you that they're an ex lawyer and try to butt in on anything legal and say things like "this is day 1 law school..." Before saying something obvious you've already covered. If they were a good lawyer, they'd still be a lawyer*

 

If all the 'ex SAS' men and people who 'knew the Krays' I've met really had special ops would be the largest employers after the NHS and everyone else in the country would be a crim.     

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1 hour ago, Teebs said:

Bad luck @ahpook...

...I've just replied to your ad! ;)

(can I bring my kazoo to the audition?)

Is it any good for metal ?

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1 hour ago, bubinga5 said:

What is the best site to find a Band.?

Rather depends on the the type of band you're looking for.

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