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Sudden decision


Kevin Dean
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A couple of weeks ago I did 3 gigs in a row & on the 3rd gig I thought I've had enough of this I'm 53 in the 80s I played all the cool London clubs & for the past ten years I've mostly gigged with people winging it in pubs paying less than they did in the 90's .Maybe It's because I've always been arranging everything gigs , PA transport etc ...but right now I really couldn't care less if I never gigged again . I was wondering if anyone else has gone through the same thought process ?

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I did in my mid 20s, just stopped playing for a good few years as I`d just got fed up of it. Didn`t play my bass or guitar, didn`t even buy any music. Then suddenly felt the need again, and have been pretty much continually busy in bands since my early 30s (am now early 50s). Nothing wrong with taking a break if you`re not feeling the love, just don`t sell all your gear, it`s very costly starting from scratch again,always keep at least one of everything.

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I like my originals band. Love the guys. Love the songs. Love my basses and amps.

Playing in an empty room for no money? not looking forward to it. Can't even talk to the 'promoter" as it's all done via FB now, no human contact. hmmmpf

First gig after a 20 year break and the girl promoter can't even finalise any details. No idea if we are the 1st band or the 5th. no idea of starting times, backline equipment, PA, mixer, or even which room in the pub we are playing. My bandmate booked us in BEFORE finding out any details. I said I'm just a hired bassist this time around. Before I did everything, booked the gig, setup the PA, got paid etc. No longer. Playing live is not gonna be fun.

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I spent years doing every gig that came my way but several years ago culled anything that was a bit sh*t and now only play gigs I want to do. Comes out at around one a week but I am happier for it. I have also stopped practising bass as I have all the chops I need for the gigs I do. This means practice time is fun too.

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[quote name='Lozz196' timestamp='1494121981' post='3293440']
I did in my mid 20s, just stopped playing for a good few years as I`d just got fed up of it. Didn`t play my bass or guitar, didn`t even buy any music. Then suddenly felt the need again, and have been pretty much continually busy in bands since my early 30s (am now early 50s). Nothing wrong with taking a break if you`re not feeling the love, just don`t sell all your gear, it`s very costly starting from scratch again,always keep at least one of everything.
[/quote]

Good point about keeping your gear for a while at least until you have distilled your thoughts.

I liken it to when I chucked in the towel and stopped riding motorcycles. After I sold the 'bike I held onto my kit (helmet, leathers, boots and gloves) for sentimental reasons mainly but also to avoid starting from scratch should I have a change of heart. The motorcycle is easy to replace yet the paraphernalia is a serious investment both in terms of cash and in terms of time spent getting the stuff that suits you best.

After a couple of years and some investment in pork belly futures (which stopped me getting my trousers closed securely), I sold the kit. I was happy in my "retirement" by then. To be honest, I would not put myself or the public at large in jeopardy by taking up 'bikes again. My eyesight and reaction times are rubbish now.

As for bass; I chucked that in during my twenties as well. I had a good apprenticeship that demanded most of my time if I was to qualify so the band had to find another bassist. Not quite the same thing but I came back to it thirty years later and I still love it.

@ Kevin, you sound like you need a holiday at the very least. I hope you do what makes you happiest however.

Edited by SpondonBassed
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[quote name='Bilbo' timestamp='1494135780' post='3293463']
I spent years doing every gig that came my way but several years ago culled anything that was a bit sh*t and now only play gigs I want to do. Comes out at around one a week but I am happier for it. I have also stopped practising bass as I have all the chops I need for the gigs I do. This means practice time is fun too.
[/quote]

At last! Someone from this forum has achieved a Zen like state. It was looking dicey for a long time.

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=zen

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Used to do all the PA, set-up, take down, 3am before home, knackered the next day. The whole scene became repetitious and a chore.

Stopped playing in the band at 65 yrs but got called back along with my brother, (rhythm guitarist), for a couple of gigs which were very well paid functions at the Chateau Impney and then Bescott stadium. So finished on a bit of a high.

It's good to take a breather and pause for thought. If you're in the fortunate position of not bothering about the money it is good to have the choice of when, where, and with whom you play as I now have, and I didn't see what was round the corner. I now play for pleasure.

Good advice not to get rid of all your gear. Just keep/get the gear you like. I'd also add to stay connected in some way to fellow musicians of your choice.

Edited by grandad
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[quote name='Bilbo' timestamp='1494135780' post='3293463']
I spent years doing every gig that came my way but several years ago culled anything that was a bit sh*t and now only play gigs I want to do. Comes out at around one a week but I am happier for it. I have also stopped practising bass as I have all the chops I need for the gigs I do. This means practice time is fun too.
[/quote]

+1 with regard to practice time. I decided a long time ago that I practice what I need, to play what I like to play, and I only practice when I really want to and really enjoy it. I don't play for the money I do it for enjoyment and If I don't enjoy practice, for whatever reason, then I don't do it. That would be like work.

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I stopped gigging years ago as I just didn't enjoy it.
I hung onto my gear for years until I finally sold it all (apart from one bass that I hang onto purely for "investment purposes") a year or so ago. Any playing I've done over the past few years has been on acoustic guitar but I don't even do that anymore so I'll probably sell my guitars soon too.

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Stopped gigging about 12 years ago, same thing really, travelling miles hoping that all the posters you'd sent, mailing list drops and promoters had done their job, everyone who'd said they'd come would actually bother etc. Couldn't go anywhere near a stage.

Right tart now, will play for anyone who'll have me.

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[quote name='Kevin Dean' timestamp='1494117987' post='3293435']
A couple of weeks ago I did 3 gigs in a row & on the 3rd gig I thought I've had enough of this I'm 53 in the 80s I played all the cool London clubs & for the past ten years I've mostly gigged with people winging it in pubs paying less than they did in the 90's .Maybe It's because I've always been arranging everything gigs , PA transport etc ...but right now I really couldn't care less if I never gigged again . I was wondering if anyone else has gone through the same thought process ?
[/quote]

64, no I have never gone through that process. I love 3 gig weekends.

Blue

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[quote name='RhysP' timestamp='1494141283' post='3293504']
I stopped gigging years ago as I just didn't enjoy it.
I hung onto my gear for years until I finally sold it all (apart from one bass that I hang onto purely for "investment purposes") a year or so ago. Any playing I've done over the past few years has been on acoustic guitar but I don't even do that anymore so I'll probably sell my guitars soon too.
[/quote]

If your a happier person than good decision.

If my band has days off I'm miserable.

Blue

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[quote name='grandad' timestamp='1494140638' post='3293497']
Used to do all the PA, set-up, take down, 3am before home, knackered the next day. The whole scene became repetitious and a chore.[/quote]

I am not looking for a flip response.

However ,I really feel like the odd ball. 64, why hasn't this happened to me.

I play for enjoynent, I play for fun and I play for money all at the same time.

And I'm looking forward to the biggest gig of my life this summer.

Blue

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I realised in the last 18 months that a lot of the reason I still owned gear & would give myself a hard time for not playing was more down to a perceived identity than any real desire to play. I'd been playing since I was 14 & pretty much all my friends are musicians. Even though I have hardly played for years I still kept hanging onto the "musician" tag for some reason. When I made the mental adjustment & finally stopped thinking of myself as a musician about six months ago not playing anymore stopped being a source of unhappiness for me.

Edited by RhysP
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So how does it happen , you get to a gig and you strap on your bass and you no longer have that good "come alive" energy rush feeling?

I do understand things in life eventually change and at some point gigging will no longer be an option for me. I just want 10 more years.

Blue

Edited by blue
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[quote name='RhysP' timestamp='1494146003' post='3293548']
I realised in the last 18 months that a lot of the reason I still owned gear & would give myself a hard time for not playing was more down to a percieved identity than any real desire to play. I'd been playing since I was 14 & pretty much all my friends are musicians. Even though I have hardly played for years I still kept hanging onto the "musician" tag for some reason. When I made the mental adjustment & finally stopped thinking of myself as a musician about six months ago not playing anymore stopped being a source of unhappiness for me.
[/quote]

That's a good point Rhys - so much of peoples' sense of identity is wrapped up in what they do, and even more so with musicians, IMHO. It's certainly the case for me. Whether it's to provide some consolation that our life isn't as ordinary or mundane as the next man, or to give us some sense of belonging to a special tribe of some sort, along with satisfying our ego with the chance of recognition by the public and our peers. Sorry if I'm getting a bit too deep and philosophical! :blink:

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[quote name='lowregisterhead' timestamp='1494149820' post='3293590']


That's a good point Rhys - so much of peoples' sense of identity is wrapped up in what they do, and even more so with musicians, IMHO. It's certainly the case for me. Whether it's to provide some consolation that our life isn't as ordinary or mundane as the next man, or to give us some sense of belonging to a special tribe of some sort, along with satisfying our ego with the chance of recognition by the public and our peers. Sorry if I'm getting a bit too deep and philosophical! :blink:
[/quote]

I have never thought about any of that stuff.

My identity?

I'm just having fun playing in a rock band.

Blue

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[quote name='RhysP' timestamp='1494141283' post='3293504']
I stopped gigging years ago as I just didn't enjoy it.
I hung onto my gear for years until I finally sold it all (apart from one bass that I hang onto purely for "investment purposes") a year or so ago. Any playing I've done over the past few years has been on acoustic guitar but I don't even do that anymore so I'll probably sell my guitars soon too.
[/quote]

It's good that you keep in touch anyway. I wanted to stay on my old Triumph motorcycle forum but it was in the Yahoo groups domain. All of the consequent fluff and nonsense made visiting the bit I wanted such a chore after I had no 'bike to speak of that I dropped it.

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[quote name='SpondonBassed' timestamp='1494153302' post='3293636']
It's good that you keep in touch anyway. I wanted to stay on my old Triumph motorcycle forum but it was in the Yahoo groups domain. All of the consequent fluff and nonsense made visiting the bit I wanted such a chore after I had no 'bike to speak of that I dropped it.
[/quote]

I'm still very interested in basses & guitars, I can spend hours reading about them & tinkering with them & it gives me enormous pleasure. I've also got a lot of accumulated knowledge from 38 years of playing, gigging, recording & other stuff that hopefully can still be of use to somebody on here every now & then.

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[quote name='blue' timestamp='1494145879' post='3293545']
I am not looking for a flip response.

However ,I really feel like the odd ball. 64, why hasn't this happened to me.

I play for enjoynent, I play for fun and I play for money all at the same time.

And I'm looking forward to the biggest gig of my life this summer.

Blue
[/quote]

Two sides of the same coin really. The OP isn't having such a good time and you are. That you enjoy 100 percent commitment to a band is a special thing if not actually rare. I think it is something that a lot of us wish for. Certainly, I prefer the all or nothing approach with things of this nature.

It is frustrating for me that I can't go any further with bass until I forge good links with others in the area unlike motorcycling where I only needed myself, the bike and the open road. I am working on that. I can appreciate that there are players who have to keep doing tunes they don't like in unhelpful circumstances to pay the bills too.

I am only a hobbyist (hobbyer?) however.

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[quote name='RhysP' timestamp='1494153591' post='3293639']
I'm still very interested in basses & guitars, I can spend hours reading about them & tinkering with them & it gives me enormous pleasure. I've also got a lot of accumulated knowledge from 38 years of playing, gigging, recording & other stuff that hopefully can still be of use to somebody on here every now & then.
[/quote]

That's what I really love about this forum.

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